Some Secrets Should Be Told

A/N- Okay, this chapter contains Rape. Just so everyone knows...you've been warned. I also ask everyone to please keep the fact that this is OOC in mind. Thanks.

I just want to thank all of you who are reveiwing. It means alot to me. Enjoy this chapter!

Shannon xoxox

Chapter Four: Harry
Hermiones Point Of View


Laughter is overtaking my dreams. I open my eyes and squint around the room; it's flooded with light. It doesn't feel very late. My eyes are itching and stinging with tiredness. I reach for my wand, which is on my bedside table.

"Tempus," I mutter. Numbers appear in the air before me. It’s 8:05 A.M.

I groan, and roll over, pulling the blankets over my head. My eyes are just shutting again when explosive laughter sounds from the Common Room. I jump out of bed and grab my wand, heading downstairs in my bare feet. I throw the door open with deliberate force; the noise in the Common Room stops and I feel all eyes on me.

"Malfoy!" I say in a dangerous voice.

"Granger?" he says, pleasantly.

"Can I please have a word with you?" I really don't want to shout at him in front of all his friends.

"Go ahead," He says airily.

"Privately."

"Ooohhhhhh," The girl says in a high pitched squeal. I shudder deliberately and glare at her. Her voice is doing nothing to make my mood better. Two of the four guys in the room start guffawing like idiots.

Draco sighs dramatically. "Granger, I know you want to get me into your room, but I would prefer to stay far away."

I can feel my face turning red. "Malfoy, getting YOU in my room is the last thing on my mind. But I wouldn't mind being able to sleep in the morning," I say as politely as possible.

"Oh, by all means. Sleep. And I should ask that next time you enter my presence, can you please be a little bit more appropriately dressed?" I look around the room, and notice who is all here.

There is a tall, handsome dark boy in one of the armchairs. He looks at me indifferently and I avert my gaze as quickly as possible. Malfoy’s two thuggish friends Crabbe and Goyle are also here; one is in the other burgandy armchair and one is on the couch, they are laughing like idiots again. I can't tell them apart. The last, is a girl. Pansy Parkinson. I shudder again. She's appraising me over the back of the couch, and I notice how close she is sitting to Malfoy.

I look down at my clothes; I'm in short shorts, and a tank top. I'm
sure my hair is wild, and I suddenly feel foolish.

"I would be able to if you and your thick friends would either shut it, or leave."

"We've had this discussion before, Granger. I'm not leaving my own Common Room to suit your needs," Draco says, his eyes burning in my direction.

I throw my hands in the air and turn, then before I ascend my staircase I turn and say "And I thought we discussed not turning our Common Room into a hangout for you and all of your cronies." I slam the door hard behind me.

***

Well I can't get back asleep now, I'm just going to get dressed and go down to breakfast. I take off my pyjamas put on my panties, and then I pull my robe over my head. I'm fuming about Malfoy; he really knows how to push my buttons. 'Arrogant Jerk,' I think.
I pull my brush through my hair a few times and descend my staircase. Malfoy and his friends are still in the Common Room. I glare at them all and storm out of the portrait hole.

I go down to breakfast and breathe out a sigh of relief; it must be too early for Harry or Ron. I pull a plate of eggs towards me and start scooping them onto my plate. I'm moving my fork to my mouth when someone sits down beside me.

"Hi, Hermione!"

"Hi, Lavender," I say politely.

"Soo... I heard about you and Seamus," she says in a singsong voice. 'Are we five again?' I wonder in distaste. I'm pretty sure I haven't said anything in that immature manner for a good ten years.

I'm sure my face is becoming red.

"What about us?" I ask.

"You know...about how you guys had sex…"

My face is definitely burning now. "Oh…" is all I'm able to say.

"So, how was it?" she asks curiously.

"I don't know, okay, I guess…"

"Was it your first time?" she asks. I feel like I am sharing a lot of information with her, even though I don't like her.

"Uhh, listen. I've got to go," I say, fleeing from the breakfast table. I might as well head back to my room. I'm at the second staircase when I see Harry and Ron approaching. There is no where to hide.

Harry looks murderous. He is walking towards me, glaring; his green eyes alight with anger.

"Hi," I say timidly.

"So," he says, grabbing onto my shoulders roughly, "Had to go and give yourself to Seamus, did you?"

What am I supposed to say to that? I just stand still.

"I thought you would know by now," he says, whispering dangerously low, "that you belong to me."

I start to smile. "No, I don't," I say in a completely bewildered voice.

Harry starts to shake me, gripping into my upper arms harshly. "You are," he says. His face inches from mine.

Now I'm becoming scared, I can feel the tears burning in my eyes.

"Harry," I say in a calm voice, despite how I'm feeling, "I don-"

SMACK.

My head snaps to the side, and my tears have been knocked free. They are flooding down my cheeks. My left cheek is stinging smartly. I bit my tongue when he smacked me and can taste the coppery blood in my mouth. I break free from his grasp and run up the staircase. I can feel the blood running down my chin. I wipe it away hurriedly and go into my Common Room.

Fan-bloody-tastic!

Malfoy and his friends are still here. Everyone stops and looks up at me, the tears are still pouring down my cheeks, and I'm sure the blood from my mouth is noticeable. Every one of the Slytherins actually look appalled.

Malfoy’s calculating eyes are watching me. I cross the Common Room, heading for my staircase.

"Yes, go clean yourself up, Granger. You look a fright," Malfoy says to me, adding insult to injury. "Not that you normally don't."
I look at him, and notice he isn't facing me. I run upstairs and into the bathroom. My cheek is a fiery red, and there is blood on the corner of my lip. I take some toilet paper and wipe the blood away, spitting into the sink. I wash my face and press it dry with a towel.

'That bastard, how does he even think that I belong to him? That's it. Enough is enough. I'm not even talking to him anymore,' I tell myself firmly. I can't take it anymore. He has no reason to hit me, or even touch me. It's done. Over.

I sit on my bed with my book all day, reading it fiercely, making my mind focus. I can hear shrieks of laughter from downstairs and cringe, that girl is way too annoying. Finally I realize that they aren't going to be leaving at all today, so I won't get to enjoy the use of my Common Room. I'm going crazy staring at these four walls! I'm going outside. I should get in an hour of reading before it gets too dark.

I descend my staircase, clutching my book firmly to my chest. I open my door and quickly walk towards the portrait hole. I'm making sure not to make eye contact with any of the Slytherins. I step out and turn to shut the Portrait, Malfoy is staring at me intensely. I push it shut quickly.

My journey through the castle is quick. I'm walking as fast as possible. I don't run into anyone unpleasant, but I do see Lavender and Parvati talking behind their hands as I pass. I know what they're talking about. I run outside and down the front steps, I run down to the lake, and sit under the beech tree.

I read for a good twenty minutes before I get a prickling sensation on the back of my neck. Someone is watching me. I look around me and don’t see anyone but then…, then I look up at the castle. I can see Gryffindor tower and it looks like there is a figure in the window. It retreats quickly as I look up. I take a deep breath and stand up. I run around to the back part of the castle and sit in the shadows. It's getting too dark to read, but I don't feel like facing Malfoy and his thugs. I open my book and start reading again, I don't look up until I hear the sound of footfalls beside me. Harry.

I look into his face, and can tell he is upset.

"Hi, Harry," I say timidly, standing up so I don't feel so small.
He grabs me by the throat in one quick movement, slamming me into the wall behind me. My book falls to the ground with a dull thud, and I look into Harry's face. Tears are burning there. "Why did you do it?" he asks angrily, squeezing my throat even harder. I realize right now that I'm going to die. I can't breathe!

I try to talk, but my words aren't forming because of Harry's hard hold on my throat. He loosens his grip a little bit, so he can hear my words.

"Because I thought I loved him," I choke out. Harry eyes brighten a little bit.

"But you don't." It's a statement, not a question.

I try to shake my head, "No," I whisper.

Harry throws me to the ground harshly and my head snaps back into the dirt as stars erupt in front of my eyes. "Because you love me," Harry says in a bewildering breathless voice that's full of love.

I am way too scared to disagree.

Harry kneels down by my feet and begins pulling me up towards him, my legs on either side of his waist. When I realize what is about to happen, I draw in a breath to scream. Harry's fist connects with the side of my head before I have time to release my scream. I groan instead. Harry throws one hand over my mouth and clamps down, only letting me breathe out of my nose. My panicked sounds are barely penetrating the night air. His other hand is fumbling under my robe, he somehow manages to get my robe up to my hips and I feel him pull my panties aside. My tears are burning tracks down the sides of my face and into my hair. I'm struggling as much as I can. I actually manage to get one leg free, because both of his hands are occupied.

I kick him in the stomach. He falls backwards for a second and I reach for my wand. I grab it, but it instantly flies out of my fingers. I groan in protest, and feel a foot connect with my ribs. I take a deep breath that really hurts. I try and get up to run away, and I make it a few steps. I'm crying hysterically now and I feel sure that I'm going to get away, ultimately my knees buckle and I fall onto my face. I look down and Harry has his arms wrapped around my legs. I take a deep breath, and this time my scream tears from my lips. The scream doesn't last long and I'm sure I can scream for a solid five minutes right now, but it's cut off by a fist. Harry hit me so hard that I turn a little bit on the ground; the stars are in front of my eyes for a second time tonight.

Another hard hit connects with my head, and I can feel the blackness pressing in more than I can see it. One more hit connects in the exact same spot as the last one, and I am spinning. No, the world is spinning.

The blackness overtakes my body.

***

I regain consciousness without opening my eyes. I can feel Harry there, inside of my body. I whimper in protest, and keep my eyes closed. I don't want to see the look on his face. The triumph on his face is something that I can never allow myself to see. I turn my head to the side and open my eyes, crying hard, and feeling much too weak. I feel a hand grab the side of my cheek and it pulls my face back forwards. I quickly close my eyes.

"Open your eyes," Harry commands between grunts.

"No," I say bravely, he's already demanded enough from me.

I hear his slap more than feel it. I think I'm in too much pain to feel any more.

Harry grabs my hips and pulls me towards him, making sure his thrusts are as deep as possible. I whimper.

"Open your eyes!" he demands again.

"No," I say once more in a ragged voice that is full of hurt.

I feel his fingers on either side of my eyelids, trying to force them open. I pull my head away. I refuse to open them. His hands go back to my hips, and he digs his fingers in as hard as they will go. I whimper again. So much pain.

"Open your eyes!"

I'm pretty sure that he wants me to see him ruining my body.

"No!"

I get a punch straight to the mouth. I feel my lip crack, and finally open my eyes.

Harry is above me, I can see him thrusting, but I can't really feel it anymore. Maybe I'm numb. The taste of blood is flooding into my mouth, and my arms are laying at my sides, doing nothing. I don't have the strength to lift them. I try anyway. I get them about an inch off the ground before they just drop. I look Harry in the eyes and I realize that's all he needs to come. He needs me to look at him, he needs to see my eyes. I vaguely hear him shouting his ecstasy, and when he finishes, he actually kisses me on the lips. I don't move; I don't try and deflect him.

"Thanks, Hermione, I love you," he whispers into my ear and gets off of me. I make no move to dress myself. Harry walks a few feet away, and then comes back to me. He kneels down beside me and leans forward.

"I forgot… If you tell anyone I will kill you," he whispers. "Got it?" he asks after I make no noise.

"Yes," I squeak out. He smiles and walks away.
***

I'm not sure how long I've been lying here, but I've decided it's time to try and move. I stand up on shaky legs, tears still pouring down my face. I look around for my panties, but I can't see them anywhere. I shrug, and then spot my wand lying a few feet to the right. I stoop and pick it up, pain shooting up my body.
I don't know any healing spells, so I pray that I don’t run into anybody on the way back to my Common Room. I hope that Malfoy isn't there. I've always heard of girls being raped, and never saying anything to anyone about it. I always thought them foolish. Now I completely understand. I won't say a word to anybody.

I creep up the stone steps slowly as pain fills every single part of my body. I scurry into the hall, not seeing anyone through my slightly swollen eyes. I ascend three staircases and still, the halls are empty. Tears are still coursing down my cheeks and my face is throbbing in time with the rest of my body. I move quickly down the corridor, and stop in front of my Portrait. I take a breath, hoping with all of my might that Malfoy is in his own room.

I know it must be close to curfew, seeing as how I ran into nobody on my way here.

I mutter the password and slip into the Portrait hole breathing a sigh of relief. I don't see Malfoy anywhere. I hurry to my staircase.

"Evening, Granger." Malfoy’s silky voice says from behind me. I don't turn around. My breath is coming out in sobs and I pray that he doesn't notice.

"E…Evening," I choke out quickly, turning my door handle and begin to step through.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" he asks.

I close my eyes, tears leaking out from underneath my eyelashes.

"I...I want to shower," I say, making my voice stay steady.

"Good," He says, in his sneering voice.

I nod and quickly go through before he can continue talking to me.

I rush up my stairs and enter my room. I break down again, the tears falling uncontrollably, my shoulders are heaving with my heavy sobs. After a minute or so I compose myself, and walk into the bathroom. I gasp when I see myself in the mirror above the sink. My left eye is swollen so badly that I'm surprised to find myself being able to see. My cheekbones are both bruised and I have a cut on my left one. There are tear tracks through the blood from my cheekbone. My lip is split and bruised. I reach up and feel my head; there is a tender a goose egg there. I shed my robe and examine myself in the mirror. I'm bruised in many places and there are little dots on my hips, which I can only imagine are Harry’s finger marks. My shoulders and upper arms have the same marks. My torso and legs are bruise free for the most part.

I find that I'm just as angry at myself as I am with Harry. How could I have allowed that to happen? I give my head a shake and head for the shower.

***

I'm sitting on my floor, going through my textbooks. There has to be something in them that will inform me how to rid myself of these bruises and cuts. Just as I'm beginning to think that all is lost, I come across a charm. 'The Glamour Charm' I smile. Perfect.

I move to my mirror still naked. I do as the book instructs, waving my wand with a flick, swish, flick and mutter, "Occulto Mihi."
Making sure I pronounce it as clearly as possible. I watch as my cuts and bruises disappear, but the spell doesn't cover the look in my eyes. They look haunted. It scares me to look at them. I put my robe back on and cast one more look at myself in the silvery reflective surface.

I give my head a shake, grab my school bag and descend my staircase to the Common Room.

Malfoy is sitting on the couch, his feet propped up on the table. I sit in an armchair and pull the table towards me, causing him to shift with the table.

"Excuse me, Granger but in case you didn't notice, I was using the table."

"Oh no, I noticed," I say. I open my bag and pull out some parchment and my quill. I put them on the table, and reach back into the bag for my Translation of Ancient Runes book, along with my ink.

I open my textbook and focus as hard as I can on it. I am translating a difficult Rune but Malfoy’s shadow covers my paper.
I look up at him.

"What's wrong with your head?" he asks me, totally throwing me off guard.

"With my head?" I question.

"Yea. Right there. It seems pretty lumpy." He almost laughs.

"You're going to have a lumpy head if you don't get away from me," I tell him.

His eyes narrow. "Threats now, Granger?"

I just roll my eyes.

"Hardly. I'm trying to do my homework, so if you could just move out of my light..." I say, looking up at him. My words drop off when I see how he is looking at me. His face is almost like a cross between lust and disgust.

"What?" I snap

"What happened to your head?" he asks forcefully.

"Nothing," I say, and begin packing up my bag.

"Where are you going?" he says, watching me pack my things.

"To my room."

"Why?"

"Because I can't work with you around, Malfoy. You're distracting me."

"Because I'm so sexy" he says in his usual arrogant slur.

"Because you are annoying," I correct him.

He shrugs and walks back to the couch, sitting gracefully upon it.

I stop packing my bag and glance at him. He's staring into the fire, a look I can't read on his face.

I open my book again and start working once more.