Tattered Souls

AN: I’m sorry for the long wait. I’ve ran into those horrible little life gremlins that like to keep you from doing what you love. Not to mention the fact that I’ve had some serious writer’s block. This chapter is kind of short, but I suppose a lot happens in it. I'm making it two parts because I need more time to finish it, and I feel like I've robbed you all of an update for too long. ^^ Enjoy. Thanks to Weasleywench for some tips and helping me keep focused.



With a sigh, Harry Potter pulled himself out of bed and walked over to the window, staring out into the darkness. It was about three in the morning, and the raven haired man couldn’t get himself to sleep. It seemed like every time he closed his eyes he was reliving a past he had repressed. There are certain things in one’s life that doesn’t want to be remembered. A relationship with one, Draco Malfoy, was among those things.

Making his way to the door, he figured that it wouldn’t hurt going in to see the blond. Harry was still fuming about the entire situation, but for some reason, didn’t chastise Darius any further than he had. After all, Malfoy was merely a toy, right? That’s what Potter had to tell himself over and over again every time a new way to torture Darius was brought to the front of his mind.

Previously that night, after Harry had calmed himself enough to confront Darius, the two had a talk about what had happened. No matter how the tables were turned, it stood that Darius had raped Draco. Why was still a mystery to the former Gryffindor. The reasonable explanation would be that he was jealous and taking it out on the mule rather than the owner. What plagued him most about the situation was how quickly Darius had moved in. It seemed like only days before Harry was forced to risk his cover for the safety of his new found doll.

A doctor had been brought in to look at the blond within minutes of Harry’s discovery, and apparently all was fine. Physically, Draco was on the weak side. He was malnourished and most certainly getting a cold. There was no concussion and it was recommended that the blond sleep for a while and eat whenever available. The former Gryffindor refused to have a mediwitch come in and tend to him, seeing as Malfoy was already aware of his deteriorating health. A mysterious quick recovery might give the game up. If Harry was going to do this, he was going to put one hundred percent into it, even if it meant taking care of his little doll the muggle way.

Harry used the cameras to find that Malfoy was indeed asleep and entered the room. The first thing he made sure to do was gently tie the blindfold across the sleeping figure’s eyes. Brushing hair from the now shrouded eyes, he couldn’t help but smile inwardly. Before, Draco was the one who took care of Harry, mending his wounds and comforting his mind. “You hurt me, Draco…” he whispered, trying not to wake the other. “Over and over again, you hurt me, only to heal the wounds you caused. Now it’s my turn.”

The first thought that came to mind was to slide into the bed and fall asleep with his past lover in his arms, but he knew that he would have to figure out how to handle the Darius situation first. There was no way that he wanted to make it seem as if he was favoring Draco in any way and he felt that he needed to prove something. He needed to prove that he was completely in control. Chewing on his nail, he took one last look over the male and left the room to sit in his office.

---- Sixth Year

“You told Malfoy about the Room of Requirement?” Ron shouted, loosing his temper and apparently control over his blood pressure. Harry was trying desperately to keep the red head quiet but was failing miserably. “Do you know what this means, Harry? It means that we are screwed. Bloody hell, Harry! You told him about the DA meeting place!”

“Shut up, Ron! Do you want the entire school to know about it, or just Umbridge?” Finally putting a lid on his furious companion, he sighed heavily and put his face in his hands. “Look. It’s not like I just walked up to him in the hallway and told him everything, but I had to tell him something, Ron!”

“Why? Because he uses you so that he doesn’t have to wank himself off every night?” Weasley asked, sitting down next to Harry in the grass near to the lake. “Or is it because you love him oh so much?”

Leaning back, the Boy Who Lived forced himself to relax and resisted the urge to scratch out his best friends eyeballs with the stick two feet from the edge of the water. “The old classroom we had always used was turned into the meeting room for those twits under Umbridge so we had to find a new place. It was the only place I could think of that was safe!”

“Did it occur to you that as leader of the twits, Malfoy suggested the classroom, forcing you to give up your secrets? Gods, Harry! It’s not like he didn’t know that the DA was happening, he just didn’t know where.”

“I trust him, Ron!”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t!”

“Maybe you should keep your dirty nose out of my business and focus on your Quidditch skills!”

“Harry, I don’t want this to end badly again. Every time you try and trust that ponce something bad happens shortly after. I just don’t want you to keep getting hurt like that.” Ron’s voice had softened and he tried his best to convey all of the worries he had. Harry looked at him and just shook his head before getting up and walking away.

Later that night

Hermione looked flustered as she attempted to process everything that Ron had told her. “So you’re saying that Harry told Malfoy where the Room of Requirement is and that the only reason why they caught Harry was because Malfoy gave them the location and the time of the meetings.”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Ron repeated himself, exasperated by the bushy haired Gryffindor.

“But that doesn’t make sense, Ron. Harry couldn’t have possibly given Malfoy the time of this meeting because he hasn’t had a chance in the past week, let alone the fact that he is bound to the Dumbledore’s Army contract like everyone else. He wouldn’t do that. Besides, I was told by a few of the Ravenclaw girls that Marietta was acting strange and went to see Umbridge about it. It had to be her. She was always skeptical about the meetings.”

“She’s too stupid to give them all of the details, ‘Mione. She’d have stopped after just telling them we exist! Malfoy is the only one of that lot that knows exactly where the room is and how to get there. He had to have led them right to Harry. Now Harry’s going to be expelled or something and it’s all that blonde ferret’s fault.”

---- Present Day

The sun began to seep through the curtains as Draco rolled over in bed, stirring. As he opened his eyes, he realized that the blindfold was tied firmly on his head. Instantly, he reached up to take it off before freezing. Was William in the room? “Hello?” he asked softly, trying to see if he could feel the presence of the other. Running his hand over the entire bed, he decided to call out again. “William?” This time he was a bit louder, hoping that if he were in the bathroom or something a reply would be given. Satisfied with the lack of a response, he slipped off the black cloth and squinted his eyes against the harsh light. The blindfold did not restrict the light completely, but it did make a difference.

With a rush of soreness and what felt like a migraine creeping in, he was forced to remember what had happened the night before. Lying back on the sheets, the blond rubbed his head where he had fallen on the tile. “Those eyes…” he whispered to the ceiling, as if it would feed him all the answers to the questions swimming in his head. Just as his mind was getting dangerously close to putting all of the pieces of the puzzle together, he was snapped out of his reverie by the sound of the door opening.

“Morning sunshine,” chimed the most unlikely voice of all. Darius set a tray of breakfast on the end of the bed and smiled as Draco backed away. “Now, now. There’s no reason to act like that.” The blond refused to reply as he pulled his knees to his chest and looked to the door, as if a hero would come in and make everything better.

“Look, you little prat. I’m not here to pretend to make nice or apologize for what happened. I’m just as stubborn as that mule and I will not let you have the one person I decided to let in. So quit batting your eyelashes like you are some bashful little girl and act like the prat I know you are. You can’t hide that kind of attitude for long.” After giving up on any type of response, Darius shrugged and turned to leave. “Just keep in mind that I’m still here and not kicked out on the streets. You are nothing but a toy.”

With the other gone, Malfoy released a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. “What does he mean I’m nothing more than a toy?” he scoffed, taking a piece of toast and nibbling the edges. “He acts as if I give a flying rat’s arse about this William. He’s just my most recent master. Business as usual. Like any Malfoy would allow himself to become a mere toy.” Finishing the piece of toast, he set the tray next to the door. It would take time to get him used to eating three meals a day, and quite frankly he didn’t eat that much when he was younger, let alone now.

He sighed heavily and laid down on the bed. Why was Darius still here and still allowed to come within twenty feet of him? Surely William didn’t consider all of this to be his fault. It wasn’t like Draco had begged to be raped in a bathtub, but then again, how would William know that? For all Draco knew, the cameras didn’t have sound, and he couldn’t guarantee that everything really looked like he thought it did. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he rolled over and picked up the blindfold. “Why do I even care?”

As he brought the cloth closer to his face, a familiar scent rushed his senses. The scent of Harry Potter. Closing his eyes, he was thrown into a whirlwind of memories; Nights of sneaking around the castle, days of pretending not to notice each other, and the sweetest puppy love that no one could have imagined. Everything back then was simple compared to now. The entire world seemed to be pitted against Malfoy and he couldn’t help but feel vulnerable to it all, especially when that cold emerald gaze was brought to the front of his mind.

It was the day the wizarding world was finally freed of Voldemort. The day that Draco was freed of Voldemort. The small blond was curled up in a ball, shivering and awaiting the next torture to come from the wands of the supposed good guys. He was sure that he would die there and be spared the cruelty of Azkaban, but it wasn’t that simple. It couldn’t be. Just when he had resigned himself to giving up his life, Potter had appeared. Time had been good to him, however cruel it had been to Draco, it had been kind to Harry.

The look that was in the hero’s eyes as he released to the blond into a world that he no longer belonged in was haunting. It was look of longing and hatred, all at once. A look that seemed to scream, “I hate you with all of my heart, but my heart is still yours.” As far as Malfoy was concerned, his heart had never left that room at Hogwarts where they shared their thoughts and made memories. That was how he had survived it all. That was how he continued to survive.

All hopes of rekindling anything that had once been between the two was shattered as Malfoy was told clearly never to step foot in the eyesight of the Boy Who Lived again. It was crushing to be saved from one hell and thrown deeper into another, but the blond had to make do. He still had life, which was more to say than most. Severus was lost in battle, leaving Draco with no parents, nor godparents to tend to him. A spoiled boy left without people to spoil him breaks quickly. It was then that he swore off all magic, leaving his wand on his dresser and his mansion in the past.

It would be a lie to say that Draco didn’t think about Harry or even that he didn’t care. Every moment that Malfoy had to himself was not spent mulling over the past and the things he did, but on occasion he would find his mind wandering back to the days that seemed to go by too quick. Even now he harbored regrets about things he had done to Harry. He used to say, “I’m a Slytherin, Harry. I do what I must do to have what I want.” Looking back on it now, it all seemed so silly, but Harry’s last reply still echoed through his mind. “Then you must not want me.”

Harry sat in his office, signing a few papers the ministry had sent over by his request. He then stuffed the papers into an envelope and heated the wax. As he pressed his seal to the dollop of hot wax, Darius entered the study. “What’s that?” he asked casually, taking a seat on the sofa near the desk. The raven haired male simply ignored him as he made his way into another room and tied the parcel to Hedwig’s leg. “Come now, don’t tell me you are still upset with me?”

“Yes, Saxton, I am. Need I remind you that what you did was rape? Nonconsensual sex? Forcing yourself on another person physically? Let’s see, is there any other way for me to phrase it?” Harry asked, putting his finger to his lips in mock concentration. “I’m letting you remain here because you have no where else to go, keep that in mind as you shake your ass at my servants.”

“Harry, what does he mean to you?” Darius asked, stepping closer to the other. “You sit there telling yourself that he doesn’t matter to you. He’s only a toy to be played with, and yet you have yet to play. You keep him here, feeding him and spoiling him but you haven’t even touched him. What are you afraid of?” The former Gryffindor made to walk away but was roughly pulled back to face Darius.

“Don’t run away from this, Harry. What he did to you in the past, the way he strung you along, made you feel loved, and then shattered your world into a million pieces, is all the reason in the world to make his life hell now. Instead, you just sit around in a dark room and contemplate the reason why he’s here again or whatever bullshit you do when you’re alone.”

“That’s just it, Saxton! He made me feel loved. How the hell do you think it feels to be loved and then tossed aside like an old coat? Malfoy was cold, cruel, and relentless. He did whatever he could to get his way and was bloody good at it. Our entire relationship was based off of him being able to brag about how he could bed the boy who lived, crush him emotionally, and do it all over again. The thing is that I let him.

“I let him use me. For what? So I could feel good for a few hours? No. I fell for him, Darius. I fell for that boy harder than anything I’ve known since. I was like a dog that was beaten and abused only to return for more because that was all I knew. Now I have him locked in a room, seemingly unaware of the fact that I am his capture, and I can’t even look at him face to face without wanting to fold.

“Is that what you wanted to hear? That I’m going soft because an old school lover has returned to me? Well there you have it. You have had the satisfaction of raping the one person I ever truly loved, and you did it to make me see that I must really love you.” With a bit of a laugh he added, “You really are the daftest person this side of the English Channel.” Pulling away from the brunette’s grip, he left the room and headed towards Draco’s chambers. He needed to regain control.

AN: Thrnbrooke, who I don't think will read this but I'm saying this for everyone's benefit, No! ^^ Draco hasn't put all of the pieces together yet, he's just using his past with Harry to make everything feel better.