The Awakening

Somewhere from behind them a voice said, “Maybe I can help then.” Harry whipped around to see who had walked up behind them, while Ginny just smiled.

“Thought you weren’t going to get here until lunch time.” She said with a slight laugh as she stood up and looked at Percy who was holding a plate over flowing with food.

“Yeah well you know Jamie.” He said with a slight shrug to his shoulders. “Ginny, do you think maybe you can go help Mum and Jamie with clean up.”

Harry reached for Ginny’s hand for he wasn’t ready for this confrontation. The one person in the family who would know everything, or at least all that he told the ministry pinheads, would be Percy. Nerves gripped Harry for why was he here after all for so many years he made his opinion known when it concerned Harry and it didn’t matter what his family felt, if they stood behind Harry then they weren’t his family. But there Ginny stood as if everything was good and that it was perfectly acceptable to have him standing there, and even more surprising that she knew that he was coming. If he hadn’t seen a perfect example of ‘more than meets the eye’, this moment was it.

Ginny squeezed his hand reassuring him that everything was going to be okay. As she moved away Harry felt abandoned and wasn’t sure that he could deal with this on his own. Strange how in such a short time he had come to rely on her strength once again. Harry looked at Percy waiting for him to start his attack on him about allowing his baby brother to die, but instead he walked towards Harry with the plate of food, “Here Mum told me to give this to you and make sure that you eat it.” Harry took the plate but looked at it questionably, “Don’t worry there is nothing poisoned there, Mum would kill me for sure if anything happened to you.” He said with a smile.

The food on the plate seemed to all of his favorites but there was no way he was going to be able to eat any of it. “Thanks.” He said to Percy though he wasn’t sure what to do with the food now. Harry was nervous and started to look around for he wasn’t sure what to expect anymore. The last twelve hours or so hasn’t been anything as he expected it to be, but that didn’t ease his nerves.

“Don’t worry about eating. We’ll just clean the plate before going back to the house, and Mum won’t be any the wiser.” Now this did shock Harry for Percy was always the person who could be counted on to do exactly as he was told. “Don’t look so surprised Harry, over the last few years a lot has changed for everyone.”

“Yeah I know, but some things never change.” He was talking about his feelings for Ginny, and her feelings for him, if he had been reading her right anyway.

“That is true.” Percy said with a nod of his head. “Now before you pass out for you look like a deer caught in a cars headlights, I am not going to attack you physically or even verbally. Even if I wanted to I was warned by Mum and Jamie that they would make my life a living hell from today on.”

“Jamie?” Harry asked.

A smile like nothing Harry ever saw come across Percy normally stoic face, “My bride. We married about six weeks ago.”

Harry wasn’t sure what to really say so he offered the usual, “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Percy said as he walked up next to Harry. “Now you asked Ginny how she couldn’t blame you for Ron’s death, and I think I have the answer to that better than she does.”

Harry turned from him, “If anyone knows about what happened that night it should be you. I talked to enough Ministry pinheads that night.”

“You’re right I do know, but I know more than what the Ministry does. I heard from several different sources about what happened, and I haven’t told anyone what I know in the family for I thought it a great deal more important that we talk first about it.” Percy said friendly and professionally at the same time. It was as if the prat Percy was back and Harry waited for the lecture that was about to come. “Harry you didn’t know the whole story about that night. It wouldn’t have matter what choice you picked the family or Ron, Voldemort’s original plan was to kill them all anyway.”

Harry whipped around to look at Percy, “What do you mean that he would have killed them anyway?”

Percy took a deep breath, “Because I know what happened and I was able to stop the attack on the Burrow that night.”

“How could you have known about what happened? I didn’t tell those pinheads everything and I know that I didn’t tell the higher ups in the Order everything either.” Harry said through clenched teeth. How dare this quill pusher say that he knows what happened.

“Oh I know what you told McGonagall and Lupin, I know what was reported to the Ministry but I also know what happened that night in the field from a mole on the inside.” Percy must have seen the look of anger and frustration on Harry’s face, “Ginny did tell you that I was working for the Order right?”

That took the wind out of Harry as he stumbled backwards, “What!?”

Percy gave a look of understanding. “Sorry I thought that Ginny said something which would have explain the look of sheer panic on your face when you saw that it was me. Yeah Dumbledore back before the first task in the Triwizard Tournament approached me. He was concerned about what was going on and well I was so high in the Ministry that it seemed like the perfect place to have a mole. Dad and the other Ministry Order members were able to get a hold of only so much information, and so I was approached.” Percy picked up a stone and skipped it across the pond. “I was already suspecting something being wrong with Crouch for there had been subtle changes in his behavior by then, and so I agreed happily to help Dumbledore out.

“Of course there had to be some conditions on both of our parts. His condition was that I had to completely separate myself from the family so that the Ministry would trust me completely and that I couldn’t tell anyone about what I was doing either. It was so hard to completely cut myself off from the family without giving them a reason why, I mean they are my family and I had to act like an asshole so that the Ministry would trust me with their most secretive information. Each time I acted like that, a part of me died.”

Harry was surprised to hear this person who had been a royal bloody pain talk about how he worked for the Order how he had made the sacrifice of his family so that he could do the job he needed to do. Harry felt a new wave of guilt flood over him for he should have done the same. He should have pushed every person who ever meant something to him so far from him that they began to hate him, just as Percy had done with the family.

Percy picked up another stone and tossed it into the water, “My condition was that I was to be kept informed about every step that any of you made. I wanted to be kept in the loop when it came to my family, and that included you Harry. I knew each time you went somewhere or planned to go anywhere. It was my way of staying in the arms of a loving family doing the best that I could to protect them.”

“I wish I could have done that.” Harry said more to himself then anyone else.

“I hate to say this Harry, but you wouldn’t have been able to finally defeat Voldemort if you had cut yourself off from everyone that you cared about.” Percy held up his hand, “Wait a second and hear me out.” Harry wanted to argue but he only nodded his head, “You needed that connection of love, of a family, of good friends like Ron and Hermione. That is your greatest strength, your ability to love unconditionally. Love has always played big part of your life.” Percy took a deep breath as he looked up at the clear blue sky, “Love protected you long ago when you were just a baby. Love kept you safe so long as you went back to those horrid Muggles. And love is what kept you going even when you lost your dearest friends.”

“You forgot that love killed nearly everyone around me as well.” Harry said bitterly.

“You may see it that way, but personally I know that it was love that you fought for that last time with Voldemort.” Percy said calmly. “You fought to protect Ginny from Voldemort when you accidentally stumbled across the bloody bastard and overheard his plans to capture her and kill her. I know that you fought with all of your heart to protect her all because you DO love her with all of your heart.”

Harry couldn’t say anything for no one knew that. There was Voldemort, some other Death Eater and him that night. He tried to speak but the words just wouldn’t form, “Harry I told you that I had a contact on Voldemort’s side who was giving me information so I know a great deal more than most people. This person helped me and the Order out more than you can imagine. They warned me about the night of Ron’s death so that I was able to tell the Order and get some Ministry personal out here to the Burrow to prevent Voldemort’s plan of attacking and killing everyone regardless.”

Harry sat on the ground for his knees were beginning to shake. There was too much information to process for him. “You have said that a couple of times already, I don’t understand.”

“Because you were taking Voldemort as someone who have kept his word. You were listening to your heart, which was drowning out the knowledge that he was a bloody lying bastard who didn’t intend to keep his word. His whole intention that night was to completely break you, by killing off your family.” Percy said in a tone that told Harry that he meant every word that he just said, “You did the right thing by listening to your heart, otherwise things could have turned out so completely different.”

“So let me ask you this Percy, do you blame me for his death?” Harry asked actually needing for some strange reason to hear him actually say the words. Whatever they maybe, Harry had a strange need to know once and for all. He sat there holding his breath waiting for Percy’s answer.

“Harry listen to me there is nothing that you, or I, any member of the Order, or Ministry, or even the mole inside of Voldemort’s camp could have done to save Ron. The things that Ron said to you at the end,” Percy started and Harry caught his breath for he didn’t want to hear those words repeated by anyone, “you have to believe me that he didn’t know what he was saying. It wasn’t just the Cruciatus curse that was used on him for at the same time he was under the Imperius Curse. Voldemort was making him say those things to further drag your spirits down.”

Harry took this latest piece of news in what happened that night just didn’t want to stink to the part of him that should have. Harry so desperately wanted to believe that Ron wasn’t saying those things but it was hard to believe that Ron didn’t feel that way at the same time. Tears began to fall slowly again.

“Harry, please believe me that Ron would never have called you a spineless bloody coward or anything else he said. I knew Ron better than that. He thought the world of you and on more than one occasion, he verbally bashed me when I said anything against you. He had told me that you were one of the bravest people he ever knew.” Percy’s voice caught. “Harry, I’m sorry about the things that I said.”

Harry shook his head not concerned about what Percy had said but the thought that Ron believed him to be brave, “Percy you had a job to do.” He said meaning it. Percy did what he had to do, so he wasn’t going to hold it against him.

That put a smile on Percy’s face, “So if I had a job to do and that was to be the biggest bloody bastard I could, which ended up hurting every single member of this family, not to mention you, and you can forgive me. Why are you so sure that you can’t be forgiven?”

Harry was startled by this question and even more so by thought behind it. “What I did…” Harry started but stopped for he wasn’t sure how to go on. “I could have…” the night flashed before him, what could he have done differently. “It was my job…”

“Exactly.” Percy jumped in quickly. “You were doing your job. Ron knew that, Ginny knows that, I know that and the rest of the family will know that. You were just doing a job. You didn’t set out to kill anyone.” Harry was having a hard time accepting the reality in Percy’s words. “Listen Harry I know this is hard to fully understand. You have lived with this guilt for over six months and it isn’t going to just vanish but know this, you are not alone.”

Harry nodded his head as Percy stood up. “Accio plate.” The plate flew into his hands, “Just think about what I have said.”

Harry sat there trying to rationalize everything that he has been through the last several hours and wasn’t sure he was getting everything like he should have. Quickly Harry turned around to ask Percy, “Who was the mole on the inside?” It was strange but he wanted to know who had risked their life as the mole did to protect the Weasley’s.