Hogwarts & The Sex-Ed Teacher

Chapter Three: “I believe in peace though sometimes I am violent. I believe in God even though he is silent.” --Unknown





“Ms Granger you will pair up with Mr Longbottom. I’m running low on cauldrons and patience” Snape glowered. “I expect perfect results you will have to test these potions on each other.” He gave one last resounding glare blanketing the class then spun and billowed back to his desk.



“Begin” He snapped. For ten minutes he scrutinised them through narrowed eyes then turned his attentions to the reams of paperwork on his desk.Totally absorbed in marking it was not until a large cream envelope with burgundy script was inserted between his nose and the current parchment that he realised he had a visitor.



Bastian stood before him today in deepest green and royal purple with the mandatory scabbard and sabre at his hip, his long golden hair like spun honey trailed freely over his shoulders cascading to his knees.



Severus feasted on the man before him a rare and precious gem in a halo of gold. Bastian seemed likewise taken with Snape. Acutely aware that he was staring he snapped his eyes away and glared daggers at the class who for the most part were too wrapt in their allotted task.



“What is this?” he inquired picking up the envelope and turning it over. The seal was deep royal blue, the royal crest of the Unseelie Court. When no answer was forthcoming he looked up to find the long drink of cool water had gone.



Remus was out running. He always ran bare foot he loved the feel of the morning the fresh frosted lawns and scents of Hogwarts. He entered through his own private entry into his quarters. Not expecting anyone he started stripping off as he ran across his bedroom in a cloud of discarded clothes. The person lazing on his bed had a nice view of his tush as it trotted past into the bathroom.



After a long hot and luxurious shower he padded back to his bedroom still damp. With a towel around his head he started to dry his hair and it was thus that Sable was blessed with a full frontal. The next thing he knew a hand smoothed across his lightly haired chest and downwards across his stomach. A voice laden with promise purred “Lie down I think I love you”



By the time he clawed his way back to reality his visitor had gone and an envelope of cream vellum with burgundy script rested on his pillow. Dressing for his afternoon classes he stopped before his mirror for a final check. “Better try a scarf or cravat deary, can’t have the students seeing you like that” cajoled the mirror. Pointing out a definite love bite. His boyish part wanted to carry it like a badge of honour but his respectable teacher part won out, this time. Still the goofy grin was a dead give away.



Severus finally dismissed his class, lunchtime offered him some reprieve from the pandemonium but without his mandatory coffee he wouldn’t even be able to face that. He stalked into his office and set about for his caffeine fix.



For the second time today a visitor surprised him before he was aware of his presence. **Getting careless old man** A deep voice filled with promise caressed his sex. “Professor I believe there is something I can do for you?” **Ah stuff the bloody coffee**



By the time Severus regained his senses lunch was almost over in the Great Hall. He found himself stretched out across his own bed although he couldn’t recall how he made it there. But he could smell food and most importantly coffee.



Bastian still butt naked casually walked through the door into Snapes boudoir from his adjoining office with a heavily laden tray in hand no doubt courtesy of the house elves. The poor things would have a size complex for eternity now.



Thus it was that blessed with devastatingly great sex, a full tummy and a bonus full frontal Professor Snape totally terrified his afternoon classes by smiling for the entire duration.



Dinner found a new seating arrangement. To the far left of the Head Table sat Remus then Sable and Snape in his usual corner seat then Bastian to his left. The Head table was draped in heavy linen, which brushed the floor, fortunate, really when you considered what was happening to Snape at the time.



Blessed with ample robes Snape put on his best-hooded glare whilst a talented hand caressed his inner thigh. Heat coursed through his body demanding attention and release. Merlin only knows what Dumbledore was rattling on about it was the best Snape could do not to melt under the table.



His knuckles had gone white grasping the neck of his goblet. A student screamed and an almighty hell shaking blood curdling howl rent the Hall suddenly Bastian took up a guard stance behind his seat.



Sable stood in a gladiatorial pose before the teachers’ table with a bloodied katana in her hand. On the floor at her feet lay a neatly portioned and definitely dead Nundu. How in Merlins name had that horrid creature gotten in and how had she moved so quickly.

Was this the threat that he had heard of? And where on earth did she get that bloody great sword?



Without skipping a beat Dumbledore cleared away the mess with a flick of his hand assuring all that it was well and truly under control and dinner went on without a hitch. As dinner was finished and the hall cleared the faculty filed out to Dumbledores office.



“What” pace pace pace “How” pace pace mutter pace “When” pace mutter mumble pace pace turn “Where” pave mutter pace pace. Snape was so infuriated that he couldn’t string two words together. Dumbledore watched him for a while over his glasses. “Severus please sit down” Severus paused and glared and just kept right on pacing the floor



“Lemon drop? Cup of tea? Seat maybe?” Dumbledore summoned a winged chair that ran across the room and scooped up Severus then happily trotted back to its place by the hearth. Snape tried to resurrect his fleeting ego and reorganise his limbs bundling his voluminous robes around him and glared ice at Dumbledore. It was Sables voice, which broke the frosted air.



“Severus I am very sorry that we couldn’t tell you but we couldn’t allow you to act on instinct it could well have blown what ever cover you still have in our crusade against Voldemort.” Snape snorted he was dead anyway it was just a matter of when. “I do however have these small tokens which were sent to us from the Unseelie Court to aid our united cause.”



Bastian opened a small but elaborately carved ebony chest revealing an extensive selection of rings nestled on the black velvet therein. He patiently waited in front of each person as Sable explained “There are two of these for each of you, they have been blessed by the UnSeelie Court and approved by Dumbledore. You are advised to wear one at all times. The stone contains three ‘long seconds’, and will instinctively cut in when danger is detected. As you witnessed tonight.”



As Bastian proffered the box each principal selected two rings. “The stone will eventually turn black and at that time there is only one long second remaining when it turns crystal clear it is empty return it to Bastian, myself or Dumbledore so we can arrange a recharge and replacement. In the interim please wear its partner. Each long second will last for the duration of a normal ten seconds.”



“What, How?” good going Snape he mentally derided himself, that’s two words want to try for cognitive phrases. “How did it get in?” **much better ‘old man’** “We will need to fortify the wards” Dumbledore nodded in agreement “We shall owl the Ministry to send out some Auroras in the mean time I suggest we scan the entire school for further infiltrators”.



“Father” Sable approached Dumbledore “Let us” She linked hands with Bastian and forehead to forehead they stood. The air became tangible with magic. Everyone watched awe struck until it became so bright that it was as if the sun it self was in the same room and they had to shield their eyes. Even so they could see with their minds eye as the aura bit through the walls and spread throughout the school in a blinding flash. A sonic boom reverberated and all was again quiet.



“We found a total of twenty Lethifolds scattered through the four house towers. Plus one in fathers’ chambers and a Nundu in the dungeons” The teachers scrambled to their feet as one. “It’s alright at the moment anything harmful has been totally neutralised with the exception of Hagrids dubious collection and of course the forbidden forest which fell outside of the spell. Plus any warded containers such as jars in the Potions Lab and the crates in the Staff Room.”



Snape drew himself up to his full height. “I think,” said Dumbledore “That we are about to find out where they came from, Why? Is another matter entirely” He moved across to the hearth and with a casual wave of his hand extinguished the roaring fire. “This way people,” taking a liberal dose of floo powder “will be much less disconcerting for the students and certainly not as obvious.”



When they were all in the Staff Room Sable glided across to an under sink cupboard where she had sensed the warded containers. Once opened it was revealed as having been magically extended to the size of the room itself and filled with shimmering crates. “We should consider ourselves lucky” said Dumbledore “that we were alerted to the presence of these things before any lives were lost. It is perversely fortunate that we were all gathered for dinner and the Nundu was forced to come to the Great Hall for prey”



“We will place our own wards on this room and seal it off until the Auroras arrive tomorrow to dispense with these crates. Anyone responsible will have noticed the ‘Patronus’ flash when Sable dispensed with our more immediate problem, so I doubt that they will be back here anytime soon.” Dumbledore handed the task over to McGonagall and crew.



“Severus, Remus” Dumbledore motioned for them to follow him. Once back in his office he continued. “Gentlemen I believe that you have been invited to the Unseelie Court for the official dinner.” Remus looked embarrassed so Dumbledore just continued “ I have some suitable robes here for such an occasion. I would be delighted to avail you of my wardrobe.” He said ‘delighted’ in such a way that there would be no other option available. Severus cringed he just knew this meant colour.



Remus was delighted. Like a kid in a candy shop he scuttled back and forth between the immense wardrobe and the mirror who seemed blissfully happy “Oh yes deary that goes so well with your eyes” offering limitless drool as Remus held up item after item. Dumbledore grinned like an indulgent parent whilst Snape lurked sulking in the corner. Viciously munching on Lemon Drops.



“Of course Severus if you can’t find something you like I may have to select for you. I have a lovely lemon yellow and pink creation here somewhere” Said Dumbledore as he smiled and nodded at Remus who twirled inanely in his latest choice. Severus practically launched himself into the wardrobe. Yellow and pink were definitely NOT his colours. Anything other than black would be bad enough but there was no way Dumbledore would choose for him.



He surprised himself by finding two possibilities one in a deep-sea green and an almost black burgundy velvet number. The later option the annoyingly happy mirror advised him was “a lovely contrast for your eyes deary and it compliments your complexion so nicely”. As reluctant as he was to agree with the damned thing (his own mirror being permanently silenced after it told him to wash his hair), he opted to listen telling himself he had already chosen that one anyway. “Now if you just wash your hair” he glared at it.



Remus fluttered back and forth like a moth between two flames. When he couldn’t decide between the three options he had come up with and the mirror was still gushing compliments, Dumledore gave him all of them for keeps. Severus likewise scored the burgundy and the green with the promise (although it seemed more like a threat) that he would send the yellow and pink one to his quarters when he found it. “A little colour never hurt anyone.” said Dumbledore waving them out. “Try it and find out” hissed Snape to the closed door.



Arriving back in his quarters Snape checked his personal wards they were still intact even though a dead Nundu lay smouldering in the Lab. Ignoring the dress robes laying on his bed he called Dumbledore via the fire. “As I was left out of the loop and totally oblivious to these crates we can only assume that my cover has been blown.”



Dumbledore nodded sagely but put paid to his concerns “Severus, we don’t even know if Voldemort was responsible it is possible that another source is at work here. Until then we are sure we can not assume anything. Do cheer up Severus, things are getting worse at a much slower rate. Oh and Dobby is bringing over the other robe.”



When Dumbledores face faded from the flames and the fire roared back to its former glory. Snape spun around and stalked over to his bed glowering at the simple pink box that lay there. For the moment he ignored it and hung the other robes up carefully even with all of his investments and inheritance he had never had anything as luxuriant. Finally Dumbledore had put some colour in his wardrobe.



Nightmares of yellow and pink mega-disasters danced in his mind as he stared at the box. A couple shots of Snapes own elixir and he felt ready to open it. There inside was the most remarkably glorious dress robe he had ever seen. Midnight blue shot with silver threads and edged in heavy brocade it almost hummed with the amount of magic that was woven into it. Snape was devastated.



Silently weeping was how Bastian found him when he emerged from the bathroom his long hair falling freely. Without a word Bastian summoned the robes to the wardrobe and gently lifted Severus into his arms. Embracing him reverently they reclined on the bed whilst Severus let his tears wash away years of bitterness and despair safe in his lovers arms.



Severus had always felt that he didn’t deserve any happiness for all of the sorrow and despair his life had caused regardless of the few he saved those he did not were always the greater number. That he should try to redeem himself for the greater good did nothing to alleviate the pain he felt had claimed his soul and tortured his waking moments.



That nightmares were part of the parcel he did nothing to discourage, dreamless sleep potions would have been too kind. He tortured himself constantly with ‘what if’ and ‘maybe’ and all the while justified it somehow hoping that Voldemort would catch him out and end his self-imposed suffering.



Now he had found something golden and beautiful and as positive as everything that went before had been its opposite, now he had a reason to live and rejoice in life. For this moment he could admit to himself that now he was scared of loosing the very life that he would previously have thrown away. It gave him a goal and more determination than he thought possible, he would defeat this and he would win, against all odds love had found him and against any odds he would not relinquish that.



For the first time in ages he slept peacefully. For the first time in his life he felt loved. He had sought happiness and found Paradise.





References this Chapter:

Nundu & Lethifold: http://www.i2k.com/~svderark/lexicon/bestiary.html

Ring idea pilfered from the movie ‘Future Cop’ and his split second watch.