The Trials of the Marauders (Completed)

If you have read this before and found it to be unbelievable short, then I apologise. The chapter was longer but for some reason the chapter wouldnt go farther on this site than James' thoughts. Anyway I sorted the problem, now (I think!)

Chapter 4

Hours later, in the dark, James was the only student awake in the dormitory. He could not sleep at all, and all he could think about was the past two days. He had felt his world turn somewhat upside down, and his stomach turned with guilt as he came to realise that it was all his fault. He rested one of his hands between his pillow and his head. He could still feel the sore spot on his head from where Lily had smacked him twice, and it only reminded him of what happened in the Potions classroom, as well as with the confrontation in the hallway.

He began to think of the past day. He had to admit that sitting with the two pups that day when they were not speaking to each other was hard--it just did not feel right to him. He thought of their past experiences together--discovering that Remus was a werewolf, and in the past year, Sirius running away from home and coming to him. James knew that he could have gone to anyone else, but he chose to go to him for help. He always thought that their friendship was strong until now.

And it’s all your fault, you prat.

I know.

He could hear Lily’s voice shouting in his head. Tell me why you think it’s dirty

Yes, why is it dirty? Was it dirty when you found out that Remus was a werewolf?

That’s different!

No, it isn’t. Being a werewolf is in Remus, and so is his love for men. He can’t help being gay any more than he can help being a werewolf.

James thought back to when he saw the two pups kissing and holding hands. He remembered that it was a gentle kiss, and Remus had placed a hand on Sirius’ cheek. As the image repeated in his head, he realised that…

Lily was right. Remus was right. Sirius was right. There is nothing wrong with it. In fact, it looked like the most beautiful kiss in the world. I wish I could have experienced it…Wait a minute! Where did that thought come from?

Ah, so you don’t have a problem with them being gay.

….Oh god, what have I done?

You’ve been a total bastard. What do you intend to do about it?

What can I do about it?

Well, getting on your knees and begging for forgiveness sounds like your only option.

James sighed and huddled tighter in his sheets. For hours, he could not sleep. He felt at ease at what he had to do. The big question in his head was whether he would have the courage to do it.

The next day passed just as tense and as slowly as the previous one. In James’ opinion, the tension between the Marauders was even worse than the previous day. Once again, the four Marauders had to sit together in classes, and James noticed that the two pups did not even speak to each other. Seeing how miserable the four former friends looked, the bespectacled student knew he had to put it right.

He got his chance to speak to Sirius after his tutorial was over. His determination to sort out the problem must have improved his concentration, because his private tutorial session with Lily went a lot better than the previous one, and he almost chuckled when she smiled at him. He had no idea why he wanted to chuckle--in his opinion, she had a lovely smile. Later, he put down this unusual behaviour on the fact that it was possibly one of the first times that she had ever smiled genuinely at him.

After the tutorial, he went in search of the rebel and eventually found him in the fields. James watched as the usually confident boy was leaning against the tree, and, even with his poor eyesight, James could clearly see that Sirius was miserable. He went over to the tree and sat down beside Sirius.

“Sirius.”

The black-haired boy took one look at James, pushed him away and said, “Fuck off.”

James sighed. I knew this was going to be difficult but I can’t give up. “Please, Padfoot. I want to talk.”

Sirius stared at James. “Come to gloat, have you? You win.”

James was confused. “What you on about?”

“Hasn’t Remus told you yet? He’s dumped me and chosen your so-called friendship over my love for him.”

“Sirius, I never knew that. I promise.”

“Look, what the fuck do you want? Come to give me a lecture? Well, please spare your energy. Remus might want to be your friend, but I don’t want to be friends with a homophobic git like you.”

He started to walk off again when he heard James say, “I’m sorry, Pads.”

Sirius turned to face him. “What?”

“I’m really sorry, Sirius. Please forgive me.”

“Forgive you for what, exactly?”

“For being, in your words, a ‘homophobic git.’ I have been thinking over and over again about what I saw, and I realised that what you were doing wasn’t dirty. In fact, it was the most beautiful kiss I had ever seen in my life. I have seen you kiss a lot of girls, and no way did any one of them come looking anywhere near as good as I saw the one you gave to Remus. I am so sorry, Sirius. I really am.”

“And that is supposed to make me happy, is it? I really cared for Remus. In fact, I loved him, and I lost him because of you!”

James looked ashamed. “How many times can I possibly say that I’m sorry, Pads? I admit I was a prat, and it was all because I couldn’t deal with seeing my two best friends being…that close. I want to deal with it, though, and I will do anything--I repeat anything--to make it up to you two. It’s just not fun without Padfoot and Moony around.”

“And what happens if, and when, I fall for another guy? Are we going to be back in this position again?”

James shook his head. “No, I promise. Like I said, it wasn’t you being gay that I had a problem with. It was just finding out about you two. I know that, now.”

Sirius looked into the bespectacled boy’s hazel eyes. He did not want to believe that James was telling the truth, and yet, as he took in what was said, he could not help but trust him. He held his arms out and wrapped his friend in a hug. James immediately returned the gesture and the two held each other as brothers.

When they parted, Sirius asked, “So, when did you realise you were being such a complete git?”

“At my tutorial with Lily yesterday. Let’s just say she knocked some sense into me.”

Sirius smirked. “You and Lily Evans? Did she finally give in to your charms?”

“No. I have not been doing so well in Potions lately, and so Slughorn thought it’d be good for me to have some extra help for a while.”

“And Lily volunteered? Was she concussed?”

James chuckled and cheekily smacked Sirius’ arm. “No, she was not. She must have had her brains in tact to sort my brain out.”

“That shouldn’t take long with your small brain.”

James could not help but laugh. He felt the burden melt from his brain and shoulders. He pushed Sirius playfully, and the two ended up in a mock-fight on the grass. After a few minutes of playfulness, James pinned Sirius down onto the ground and the two were laughing loudly as if the past few days had never happened.

James looked at his friend and immediately thought about the kiss between him and Remus. He suddenly got an urge that he had never felt before. He leaned forward and gently touched Sirius’ lips with his own. He expected his brother to fight back or to push him away, so it was a surprise when Sirius gave into his friend’s actions. He closed his eyes and focused on how the moment felt. He never knew that a male’s lips could be so soft…so smooth…so…desirable. His eyes opened wide when he felt Sirius’ tongue brush against his mouth, but he responded by placing his own tongue upon Sirius’ own. Their tongues played with each other for what seemed to be an eternity, and James felt something that he had never felt before.

Oh, god! How could I ever have thought that it was disgusting? This is wonderful!

When he heard Sirius moan, James stopped the kiss, got up from his friend and sat down on the grass beside him. “Oh bloody hell, I’m sorry. I just wanted to know what it was like.”

Still lying on the ground, Sirius licked his lips and asked, “What did you think of it?”

“Remus is so lucky.”

Sirius smiled for a quick moment and sighed to himself. “Yeah.” Then the smile faded from his face. “I got to go find him. You’re not the only one who needs to do some grovelling.”

“Why? What happened?”

Sirius looked up at the sky. “When he dumped me, I was so cruel to him. I was just so angry that after everything…” He continued to look upwards, not knowing what to say. “I didn’t ask to fall in love with Remus, you know. Just like you didn’t ask to fall in love with Lily.”

“I know. Can I ask you something? What is it about Moony that made you fall in love with him?”

Sirius sighed to himself and smiled. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s not even like I had been pining for him for years or anything like that. I have always thought of him as, well, my best mate. But then one night, we just kissed. I can’t even remember how it happened or what drew me to that moment.” He chuckled a little. “And then it happened again the next day, but that time, it was no accident. I wanted him, James…and now I have messed up everything, haven’t I?”

“No, you haven’t, Pads. It’s my fault--me and my stupidity. I’ll go and find him if you want.”

Sirius smiled gratefully. “No, you’re alright.” He stood up. “I’ll go and get him. He’s in detention, remember?”

“I still want to make it up to you, Sirius.”

Looking at his self-proclaimed brother, Sirius thought for a moment, and then James saw a sly and Sirius-style smile appear on his face. “Tell me something. Do you enjoy kissing me?”

James licked his lips and nodded eagerly.

A little too bit eagerly, I think. Sirius thought. He said, “Well, wait for me outside the tapestry depicting Barnabas the Barmy.”

Looking confused, the spectacled student asked, “Why?”

“Trust me. Just do it and all will be revealed, dear brother.” And with that, Sirius walked back to the school, leaving James sitting by the tree with a confused, and yet intrigued, look on his face.

So this is what detention feels like.

Remus looked up at the clock and saw that there was only five minutes to go. It had been very stressful, and he was glad that his first day of detention was nearly over. He just wanted to go back up to his dormitory, pull the curtains around his bed and just lie in bed, swallowing in self-pity. He knew that throughout the day, there had been much talk about how he stood up to Scamander. He received a lot of praise from everyone--well except the Slytherians. Pupils who he did not know had come up to him and tried to talk to him.

So this is what popularity is meant to be like? Still, it means nothing when you have to write an essay on why fighting is wrong--an essay that should be reserved for the first years. This is so degrading, but hey, it’s almost over. Hopefully, I’ll get something more dignifying tomorrow. Popularity doesn’t mean anything when the people you love and care about don’t even want to know you.

He knew that he could have got the essay done quicker if he had not been thinking so much about James and Sirius. He wanted to tell someone—anyone--about his problems, but he knew his new-found popularity would only be temporarily, and he was not as popular as James and Sirius--outside the world of the Marauders, he did not have any friends at all.

Go to James. After all, you’ve just given possibly your only chance at love to be his friend. You might as well not let it be in vain.

But he won’t understand this. He is the cause of all this.

And yet, you chose him over the one person who wants you and who doesn’t care what you think or what you are.

Eventually, he heard Professor McGonagall say his name. He awoke from his dreams and looked at the teacher sitting at the main desk.

“Have you finished the essay, Mr. Lupin?”

Remus nodded without saying a word. He stood up, picking up the finished essay from the table. He walked towards the teacher and placed the essay on the desk. As she read it, he stood in silence, waiting for her to speak.

Eventually, she did. “Very good, Mr. Lupin. Be here on time tomorrow.”

Without looking at her, he nodded. He heard her shift on her chair and lean forward on the desk.

“I know this incident was out-of-character for you, Mr. Lupin, which is why I gave you such a lenient sentence. But you are also a prefect. If the younger pupils see a prefect fighting in the corridor, no matter what the circumstances are, then it could lead to more incidents of this kind. That is something we just cannot have in this school. Now, do you understand?”

He nodded in silence.

“Okay. You are dismissed.”

After picking up his belongings, he tried his hardest not to run out of the classroom. When he was out into the corridor, away from the classroom, he breathed a sigh of relief. He leaned against the wall and began to feel his legs weaken.

“Rough detention was it, Remus?”

He looked to his left and saw Sirius Black leaning on the wall, looking his usual cocky self and he was….

Smiling? Why is he smiling at me?

Remus asked softly, “What’s wrong?”

Sirius shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong, Moons. I just wanted to know if McGonagall gave you a rough time.”

“I thought you weren’t speaking to me again.”

“So did I. That is, until Prongs and I kissed and made up--literally.”

“Come again?”

Sirius chuckled. “You heard me. He pinned me down and kissed me. He was gorgeous, Remy.” He licked his lips and whispered, “Although not as gorgeous as you. He’s sorry, and so am I.”

“What have you got to be sorry for?”

“For being so nasty last night.”

“I deserved it, Pads.

Sirius shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe you did, but I’m still sorry. Forgive me?”

Remus smiled at him. “Only if you forgive me.”

He suddenly felt Sirius’ arms envelop him in a hug. With his free arm, Remus returned the gesture, resting his head on Sirius’ shoulder. It took all the energy he had not to cry. He pressed his cheek against Sirius’ own before pressing his lips for a kiss. The world seemed to stand still as the two pups kissed softly in the open corridor. The sound of a door opening spoiled the moment. Remus looked behind him and saw Professor McGonagall exiting the classroom.

Sirius took Remus’ hand and whispered, “Come on.”

“Where?”

He led the werewolf along the corridor. “Going to see James. He has some making up to do.”

“I thought you two had already made up.”

“Almost,” Sirius winked. “He’s got to make it up to you too.”

Bewildered, Remus followed Sirius down the hallway and up the many stairs. The werewolf was nervous on what his beloved had in mind, and yet, he was even more intrigued.