Ensnaring The Senses

Severus stared down at the yellowed envelope as he reached a shaky hand down to pick up. When Hedwig had arrived with it twelve years ago he'd been in the midst of finding Lucius and Bellatrix so he had stuffed it in his pocket and had forgotten about for two months. After their capture and execution, he hadn't been ready to open it.

Severus looked at his name in Hermione's familiar script and sighed with a new regret. He'd been so wrong not to open this letter, and with the sight of the small black haired witch floating in his brain he finally broke the seal.

Dear Severus,
I know you have been busy, and I have started to write you so many times. I miss you. That one night burns in my very soul. It was so incredible. Guess it wasn't for you.

Severus grimaced at this, as he remembered that night when his dream took shape in the beautiful form of the courageous Gryffindor. His attraction to her had started as he watched her competence, her skill and her gentleness out on the field as they fought out the final battle's of the War. His dreams had started about then, but every time he ask his dream lover her name, she'd disappear. Until that night.

Doing the noble thing had hurt, more then just himself and her it seems. He drifted back to the letter.

Remus says you are well, just very tired. I worry about you out there alone, and Merlin knows if Remus even hinted where you were I'd be there. But, I guess that's not what you wanted.

How wrong she was. Every night as Severus fell asleep his dream came, but now her face was clear. The eyes so loving as she drew close to him and kissed him, begging him to hold her, love her. But as his arms would wrap around her in his dreams, Hermione would disappear and he'd awaken in a bittersweet arousal.

You were right about University. I have been accepted! I started late a month ago, and will be interning at St Mungo's. I'm so excited. I'm going to need to take a few months off soon, by Healer's request. He said that all the Potions ingredients and Spell residuals would be dangerous for me. I'm not even allowed to apparate anymore. I haven't told anyone at Headquarters yet, cause I needed to tell you first. I've kept hoping you'd return to me, for me-- But that isn't going to happen, is it?

Severus couldn't count the times he had to force himself to hold back. The only thing that kept him sane had been his hunt, driven from a desire to keep Hermione and Draco safe. The day Lucius and Bellatrix had died by his wand had been a horrific and glorious day for him. But still he held back. Remus had told him about her acceptance at University and he had rejoiced, and didn't want to interrupt that.

I'm afraid, Severus, and alone among our friends. I watch Ginny with Harry, Tonks with Remus and I feel so sad. Draco has been keeping me company since the Healers won't let him out on the field. But he isn't you, my love.

Severus, I'm pregnant.
Love,
Hermione

Severus crumpled the envelope in his hand as he stared at the last words. Merlin's beard, what did I do? No one had told him, not one hint in the past twelve years. Now he understood Draco's looks, and Remus' exasperation with him.

Somehow he could see his little lioness ordering them not to tell him.

~*~

Remus made a small stop by his and Tonks' apartments before heading down to the Dungeons. Holding the small album in his hand, he knocked on Severus' door. He had slowly put it together the past eleven odd years for when Severus would need it. He was by no means pleased with his actions, but he understood Snape's desire to be noble. He had wanted to show him so many times, had even left it open when Severus had come into Headquarters to give his reports. He wanted to shake the picture of Hermione holding a one year old Cissa as she blew her birthday candles out, the perfect image of her father, in his face till his eyes opened to what he'd missed.

But his promise to Hermione held him back.

After a minute passed, Remus knocked again and waited another minute before pushing the unwarded, unlocked door open.

“Hello, Remus.” Severus said from his chair in front of the fire. Remus looked and saw the splintered wooden box thrown carelessly to the floor, the crumpled envelope laying on the arm of the chair and a letter clasped tightly in the black haired wizard's still shaking hand.

“So you finally read the letter?” Remus walked angrily over to him, his hand clutched tight around the book. “You bloody dunderhead. How could you have been that cold hearted? Oh right, you're Slytherin!” Remus spat out. “For two months after she wrote that letter she waited, and no response from you. A week after you found and killed Bella and Lucius she gave up on your return and told us.”

Severus sat there, accepting Remus' anger, wishing the wizard would just punch him. Maybe he'd feel better, a broken bone or two would certainly take his mind off the pain in his heart.

He'd been such a fool.

“Here,” Remus shoved the photo album in Severus' face. “I've been putting this together for you.” He pushed it against Snape's nose when he didn't take it. “Take it!”

Severus held the book in his hands as the letter fluttered to his lap.

“Open it!” Remus ordered.

Severus opened the album and gasped at the first picture. There stood Hermione swollen stomach and all with Draco. She laughed as Draco rubbed her big belly and the baby inside kicked. He turned the page to view a sweating Hermione pushing as Draco whispered encouraging words in her ear. He almost could hear her screams as Draco held her shoulders. Severus wanted to kick himself for not being there.

“Draco was with her the whole time in his father's place. He kept her sane during the raging hormones, held her when she cried, and even conjured her up pickle flavored ice cream one night when she craved it.” Remus taunted him.

Severus felt his tears well up as the next picture showed Draco kissing the top of a fuzzy headed baby as Hermione smiled exhaustedly while holding the baby.

“She's so beautiful,” Severus murmured as he looked at Hermione's face. “And the baby is so adorable.” He cried then, shocking Remus.

Severus slowly flipped through the pictures, unmindful of the tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Why Narcissa?” He asked finally.

“Hermione did it for you, and Draco. She knew the pain you both felt when Lucius murdered her, and the damage that Lucius and Bella inflicted on Draco prevents him from having children. You really should talk to your family sometimes, Severus. I swear.”

Remus sat down in a chair finally. “Cissa adores her big brother, you raised up a fine young wizard once he was out of Lucius' clutches. But he still doesn't fill the need your not being there creates. She has uncles, aunts, cousins and Minerva, Molly and Arthur make fabulous grandparents.”

“What does she know of me?”

“That's for Hermione to tell you.”

“Dammit, Remus! Does she hate me?” Severus asked as he finally closed the album, a picture of a laughing Harry holding Cissa on a broom as they flew low around Quidditch field the last vision in his head. So many firsts he had missed because he wouldn't listen.

“No, what Draco and Hermione have told her has made her wonder. Harry and Ron though tell stories about the scary Dungeons Bat. And tonight's performance has strengthened that image in her mind.” Remus laughed at Severus' frown.

“I was a bloody git.” Severus sighed, not knowing what to do.

“Yes, you were.” Remus said as he walked out, the door clicking softly shut.