Harry Potter and the massive orgy

Just then, they heard the wails of a screaming baby phoenix. “What could that be?” they both said in unison. They rushed upstairs – they had to leave the basement anyways, because it was flooding with semen – and when they got there, they saw a beautiful, but terrifying sight. There was before them a lovely crimson phoenix baby. It was so cute. “Goo Goo Gaa Gaa” said Dumbledore, the sorting hat shaped protrudence under his robes re-emerging. “It’s beautiful,” said Sirius, a tear welling in his eye. “HISS!” they all heard, and turned to see where the noise was coming from. “OH NO!” said Dumbledore, “IT’S A BASILISK!” “Awwww shiiiiiiiiiit” said Sirius, as something that was shaped like a hot, thick, throbbing Snape’s nose came out from under his robes. “You know the only way to make a Basilisk die, other than stabbing it?” said Dumbledore. “Why, no!” said Sirius. “Well…lucky for us it’s quite sexy actually…we have to shove a baby phoenix’s penis in to its mouth” “YAY!” said Sirius. “Phoenpenius entermouthius!” said Dumbledore, as the penis of the newborn baby phoenix rammed in to the mouth of the Basilisk. It was dead. “HIGH FIVE!” said Dumbledore to Fawkes. They high fived, and the footlong sub shaped engorgement made itself known on both parties. “Okay, back down to the knee-deep flooded semen pool!” said Sirius. “Okay, but let’s bring the baby phoenix AND the basilisk…we need to make a boat to have sex on.” “DEAL!” said Sirius, and they were on their way.