Hard Times for Severus Snape - (Editing)

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
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Chapter 4 ~ Busted

The Professor rolled to his back then sat up on the edge of the bed. He brought one pale hand to his forehead. It was throbbing. He felt as if he had been on an all night firewhiskey binge. Something about his clothes didn't feel quite right, either.

Hermione appeared in his doorway. He looked at her.

"What the hell are you screeching about, Miss Granger?" he asked with irritation in his voice.

"Professor Snape, are you some kind of fucking deviant fetishist or something?" she asked him, frowning.

The Professor looked at her in amazement then scowled deeply. Oh, he felt like shit.

"Miss Granger, are you drunk?" he asked, returning a question for a question. "Why would you ask me such an insane question?"

Hermione looked at the Potions Master. He looked as if he had tied one on.

"No, I'm not drunk. I asked you that question because every single pair of knickers I own are spread all over my floor and covered in come," she replied, her nostrils flaring, "And you are the only one in these rooms that has the tool necessary to spray come all over my knickers."

Professor Snape rose to his feet, and felt his pants drop around his ankles. What the fuck? Hermione couldn't see this, because his robes covered it. The Professor was also aware of stickiness around his midsection and loins. He collected himself.

"Miss Granger, I did not ejaculate all over your unmentionables, I assure you. Please leave my doorway and give me a chance to collect myself and I will investigate the matter," he said evenly.

Hermione stared at him mutinously for a moment, then turned and left the doorway. Severus made sure she wasn't coming back, and shuffled into his bathroom and closed the door. He opened his robes, which felt rather loose in the shoulders. He looked at his shirt underneath. It was in complete tatters, as were his pants and his boxers. His cock felt bound up. He slipped down the remains of his silk boxers… the only thing holding them up was the elastic waistband. To his horror, a pair of knickers were stuck to his pelvis.

"What?" the Professor said, wincing as he pulled them off, some of his pubic hair stuck to the white flimsy garment.

He held them up and inspected them. They were certainly women's knickers. How did they come to be stuck to him? Further examination showed a large amount of dried come covered his private parts. Hm. The last thing the Potions Master remembered was wanking off in the armchair, but he didn't remember coming. And why were his clothes all torn up?

The Professor stripped completely and looked at his robes. Mere threads held the seams in the shoulders together. He didn't know what happened, but of one thing he was certain, he needed a shower. So he took one. It took quite a bit of scrubbing to get all the dried semen off him. It was a very large amount.

Finally clean, Severus balled up his tattered clothing, threw them in the corner and wrapped a towel around his waist. He opened the bathroom door and peeked out to see if Hermione was lurking about. She wasn't. Quickly the Potions Master walked to his bedroom door and closed it. He dressed quickly.

Something had happened. Did he actually ruin his apprentice's underwear in his sleep as a result of drinking the male enhancement potion? It was a disturbing thought. He opened the bedroom door and stalked across the study, sweeping into Hermione's room.

The witch was moving around the pile of knickers on the floor, stopping and looking at the stains on the wall and dresser, then moving to another angle and studying the floor.

Good gods. Miss Granger certainly had a lot of lingerie. Severus walked closer and examined the mess. Yes, those were come stains all right. But the amount of come was too much to have been released by one wizard.

Hermione scowled at him.

"Miss Granger, I understand you are upset about this, but the amount of come released couldn't have come from me. No single male could possibly do this. It looks as if a dozen men or more wanked off on your garments," he said, trying not to think about the knickers he found stuck to him. They were very incriminating.

Hermione looked at him accusingly.

"Maybe not one 'normal' man, but how about a man that has been magically enhanced?" she said, frowning at him. Damn. She knew about his project.

"Miss Granger, are you insinuating what happened to your knickers has something to do with my work?" Severus asked her, trying to cow her. Hermione refused to be cowed.

"Professor Snape, how are you testing your potion? I know for fact that you've been blacklisted by practically every lab-jumper in the wizarding world because of some of the results of your experiments," Hermione said.

"My work is currently at a standstill," the Professor lied smoothly. "I have no human subjects. Only lab animals on which to do research."

Hermione looked at him levelly with her amber eyes, almost as if she were looking through him.

"I think you did this, Professor. But you don't remember doing it. I think you tested your potion today after it worked on one of your lab animals, and I think it took you over somehow. You looked like shit when I looked at you in your bedroom. You looked hung over. That's what happened, isn't it Professor? I've considered you a lot of things in my time, but I've never considered you to be a liar, sir. Please don't make me add that to my list," Hermione said earnestly.

Professor Snape looked at her. He didn't know why he should care about Hermione Granger's opinion of him. But the truth of the matter was he had tested the potion, and he had awakened covered in come with Hermione's knickers stuck to his loins. She had pegged exactly what had occurred with that sharp mind of hers. He was busted.

The Professor sighed.

"Miss Granger, today a niffler had very positive results after imbibing my potion, and no obvious ill effects. After observing the animal, I deduced it safe to test the potion. I was in the process of examining myself when you walked into the lab. After you left, I continued to examine myself for any oddities or noticeable changes in my…my…"

"Cock, sir?" Hermione offered.

"Penis," Severus replied, a little shocked at Miss Granger's candor. "Then, I woke up to your yelling. I have no idea what occurred between examining myself and waking up in my bed."

"Did you notice anything strange when you woke up, sir? I noticed you took a shower before you came to my room," Hermione said, knowing he must have discovered something in order to take a shower and change clothes at this hour.

Severus sighed. He had forgotten just how sharp the witch was. Well he was in for it all.

"Yes. My clothing was in tatters beneath my robes, and I had a large amount of dried semen on my lower extremities," he confessed. He was NOT going to tell her about the knickers.

"How large an amount?" Hermione asked him curiously.

"More than there should have been if I had ejaculated in my sleep," the Professor replied uncomfortably.

Hermione's eyes shifted down to her ruined underclothes. She looked thoughtful for a moment, then raised her gaze to the Professor.

"I'd like you to repeat the experiment with the niffler for me tomorrow, Professor. I almost have my Masters in Potions. I could help you. You can't test the potion yourself without an observer. It's impossible. You can't make any progress this way. I am your apprentice after all. Helping you develop a male enhancement potion that works during my internship here with you would be quite a quill in my cap. Plus…"

She gestured at her stained knickers.

"We can keep this from happening again. What do you say sir?" Hermione asked the Professor, looking directly in his black eyes.

Severus sighed again. Her logic was, as usual, impeccable. He couldn't be both subject and researcher in this case. He needed assistance. Even if his assistant was an irritating know-it-all. A brilliant irritating know-it-all.

"Very well, Miss Granger. I will demonstrate the potion for you tomorrow morning, right after you finish your first task," he said, a little smirk on his face.

"Task? What task?" she asked, frowning.

"A bit of animal husbandry," he replied, thinking of the shitty niffler cages. He turned to leave.

"Oh, Professor, just what am I supposed to do about my ruined knickers?" she asked him scowling.

The Professor looked at the mess, pulled out his wand and scourgified the entire room, her knickers included. He repaired the drawer, magically put it back into place, and floated the lingerie back into the drawer, enlarging the space a little to pack them all in. Then he put his wand away.

"There you go Miss Granger," he said, turning to leave again.

"Hold it, Professor. Scourgifying might work on the floor, walls and dresser, but not on my knickers. I will not wear underthings that I know you have come all over, "she said, shuddering a little, "You have to replace them. All of them."

"Replace them? That will cost quite a few galleons. It was just a little come, for Circe's sake! A bit of bodily fluid," he said, scowling at her.

"A little? There was more than two liters of come on my knickers. You messed them up, you replace them," she said with her hands on her hips. Hermione had a look in her eyes that would brook no opposition. She would argue for hours if he didn't agree to pay for her knickers. Again, he gave up and in.

"Very well, Miss Granger. Let me get my purse," he said bad-temperedly.

Again, she wore that little victory smirk that made his blood boil. He calmed himself and started to exit the room. Then he turned back to her.

"Is there anything else, Miss Granger?" he asked sarcastically.

"If there is, Professor, I'll be sure to let you know," Hermione replied, still smirking.

Severus stalked out the room, feeling he had lost a major battle here.

His apprentice was certainly formidable.

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A/N: Hermione is something else. She called him on it. She really got him when she said she didn't want to think he was a liar. And truthfulness is one of Snape's strong points. So I couldn't let that aspect of him be ruined. The demonstration ought to be interesting. Please review.