Losing Faith, Reclaming Hope

Fic Title: Loss of Faith, Reclaiming Hope
Disclaim...Er: Harry Potter and its characters belong to JK Rowling and not me. I own nothing, except Sera and the plot
Genre: Slash, Romance, bit of angst
Pairings: V(TM)/HP, DM/OC
Warnings: AU, OOC, OC. There will be slash eventually if you don’t like don’t read, you have been warned; also HBP did not happen in this story.
A/N: Sorry for the wait things came up and my baby got sick, and then I had his first birthday to plan. So I’m back to writing and hopefully I’ll have another chapter up soon after this. Thanks again to those of you that have reviewed, it really makes my day! Until next time.


Chapter 4: Where do we go from here?


Harry walked back into his room to see Snape and his sister glaring daggers at each other. Upon seeing Harry, Snape immediately rounded on him.

“I don’t know what is going on here Potter, but I want answers and I want them now.” Snape’s expression was murderous.

“Why should I tell you anything Snape its not like you’ve done anything to make me want to confide in you.” He sneered back at the Potions Master. Harry was almost at the breaking point and he didn’t need the snarky man ordering him about.

“Regardless of what you want you will give me answers the Headmaster needs to know what’s going on.” Snape lied.

“NO,” Harry all but snarled. There was no way that he was going to reveal that he knew that he had found out about Dumbledore’s machinations. He still was not sure exactly where Snape stood in this war, and he wasn’t about to let him know till he did.

Snape was taken aback by the vehemence in Potter’s reply. He schooled his face into indifference.

“Why?” He asked.

He didn’t miss the quick glance Potter gave the girl sitting on the bed. Damn he had completely forgotten about her in his anger.

“Are you sure Harry?” Sera asked.

“Yes,” he replied wearily.

Sera’s wings burst from her back and she calmly pulled a black feather and proceeded to trace runes in the air. When she was done the runes faded and the room pulsed with power once before settling back to normal. Snape watch with consternation as the girl performed the incantation. He could feel the hum of power through the room. Sera nodded at her brother letting him know that it was done.

“Before I tell you anything, I want to know where your loyalties lie.” Watching Snape, he saw the anger in the man’s eyes at the demand. Before he could say anything he cut the man off. “You think that I don’t have the right to ask this of you,” he waved him off, “I assure you I might not be able to perform magic, but don’t think that she is under the same restrictions as I am.” Harry pointed to his sister in the bed; he almost chuckled at the malicious glint in her eyes that was directed at Snape.

“Fine,” he ground out, “I am and have always been loyal to Lord Voldemort.” Snape gasped, his eyes widened in shock. “What the hell,” he sputtered. He had meant to lie and say Dumbledore. He looked warily at the boy thinking that his days as a spy were over. To his surprise, Potter was just looking at him with a thoughtful look on his face. Well this is completely not what I thought would happen he thought to himself.

Harry wasn’t completely shocked by Snape’s answer; it was if it was confirming what he had always thought. If he had heard this months ago he would have thrown a complete fit about Snape being on the Dark side. With his growing distrust of the old man and now with everything that had happened in the last couple of days he just couldn’t muster any feeling for the deception.

“What, Potter no righteous anger at being betrayed, no lecture. My, my if I had known that this would have shut you up; I would have tried this long ago.” Snape spoke his voice full of sarcasm. He crossed his arms not quite sure what was going on as he watched the boy’s eyes narrow at the barb meant to anger him, but not rising to the challenge.

“Who am I to tell you what to do,” he smirked. “For someone who wants answers you’re not being...hmmm...how should I say, very accommodating, but then I wouldn’t expect anything less of you. But from my reactions you should be able to see where I don’t stand.” Harry said slyly.

“Well, if that’s the case then I can assume you don’t believe in the old man anymore.” Snape was floored by the events that had occurred so far, but he was getting nowhere fast. “Oh very well, I promise to listen to anything you wish to tell me, a truce if you will. Otherwise we’ll never get anything accomplished going back and forth as we are,” he sighed.

Sera watched the entire exchange silently, whatever her brother chose to do she’d support, but that didn’t mean she had to like the man. She could see the exhaustion and weariness show in his entire body. She was worried that he was pushing himself too hard after the extensive healing she had done.

“Look I can explain most of it if you’d like, but you have to at least relax some,” he nodded at her. She led him to the bed where he lay down but didn’t fully settle down. She pulled his head into her lap and started to stroke his hair.

“First off anything that is said since I cast that spell you won’t be able to speak to anyone but Harry and I, and nothing, and I mean nothing, can subvert this spell unless Harry or I will it.” She looked meaningfully at Snape who nodded in return. “It will be far easier to show you than explain everything, since you don’t have a pensieve on you here.” She pulled another feather and cast a spell.

Snape was pulled into the memory. He stared in horror at the broken and dying form of Harry Potter. Fascination as the events moved forward to the appearance of the girl and then the healing and revelations that came. With growing anger he heard of what had become of the infant Potter and the dark magic that had been performed on him. In an instant all the illusions he had for Potter were shattered and left him completely shaken. Unsure of what next he grew apprehensive at the new prophecy that was revealed. With new understanding he emerged from the memories. Feeling contrite he gazed the sleeping form of Harry, no Aeryn.

“So now you know the truth.” She said softly.

“Seems like I owe the boy an apology,” he muttered. “So what happens now? There seems to be even more questions that need to be answered than before.”

“That’s up to him, but for now he needs to sleep.”

Snape conjured up a chair and settled in to wait once again. They were standing at a crossroads and he couldn’t leave without being able to take back any information. Especially if it meant that it could be a turning point for the Dark side.

Soft moonlight filtered through the trees, the lush moss under Harry’s feet sent up an earthy aroma. He was dreaming and for the first time in months he felt at peace. He continued to stroll among the trees humming tunelessly all the while contemplating everything that he had learned. Shaken out of his thoughts he realized he was no longer alone in his dream. Curiously he stared the figure beckoning him forward to walk with them. Unsure of how he knew that he could trust them, somehow he knew that he could.

“So, you are truly at a crossroads young Aeryn, what have you in mind that you plan to do?” The voice asked.

Harry still unused to his real name was startled but didn’t show it. He had an idea of how he wanted to live his life, but wasn’t too sure of how to go about it quite yet.

“Not exactly, I know now that I can’t blindly follow Dumbledore, not with what I now know. I want revenge, no matter how petty that may seem I’m only human...err well at least I think I am sort of.” Harry said with a shrug. He struggled to find the right words “In the same sense though I don’t have the knowledge to follow the Dark side, I do not agree with Voldemort’s ideals as they stand now. I don’t know what he’s after other than my death. I think for now I want to learn, train, and gather more knowledge before I commit myself to a set path. Nobody would respect me currently, I’m just a teenager.”

“Very astute, you seek knowledge, and power before making a commitment. I’m sure we will have more of these talks in the future. For now let me leave you with this advice, listen with an open mind consider the opinions of others, and learn that outward appearances are just that, there maybe more there than you originally thought.” With that the figure faded away into the night.

The problem with time stasis spells was that if you forgot to set some type of alarm, you could sleep years away. Fortunately for Harry neither Sera nor Snape slept, both talking quietly to each other till finally they sat in silence.

Snape couldn’t sleep even with the uneasy truce they had, he had too much on his mind to be able to sleep. While he had known the Headmaster wasn’t quite the figure of Light that he portrayed, he had no idea it went this far. Over the years he’d been able to come to his own conclusions about the old man. When he had been sent to spy on the Light side he could’ve taken the opportunity and changed his allegiances. His faith in the Dark Lord had been wavering there in the end, but by then he had been destroyed by the infant Potter and it was assumed that he was on the side of the Light and he hadn’t corrected them.

Looking back on his life as a Death Eater loyal to the Dark Lord he hadn’t completely agreed with his ideals, but never disagreed enough to want to change sides. Towards the end though the Dark Lord had become more and more fanatical, at some point Voldemort had stop listening to input of his followers and became paranoid and depraved. Since his rebirth he seemed more like his old self, but still obsessed with Potter and the Prophecy. A prophecy that was no longer valid.

What the hell was Albus thinking putting the boy here he thought? Even Potter had known the danger he was in by being here, it was as if the manipulative old man had wanted the boy to die. Snape stiffened in his chair, that was it he had wanted Potter to die and his death to be an accident. If Harry died by any other hand other than Voldemort the prophecy would be broken. Dumbledore must have know that Voldemort hadn’t been truly been vanquished that night at Godric’s Hollow and needed Harry alive to be able to bring back the Dark Lord.

Snape rubbed his temples trying to ward off the headache building up. He glanced over at Potter only to realize the boy was staring at him intently.

Harry sighed he’d only been awake for a couple of minutes reflecting on the dream he just had. He took the chance to study Snape unnoticed, he seemed to be deep in thought. As if sensing Harry staring at him, black eyes locked with green, both trying to gauge the mood of the other. A soft cough broke both of them out of their thoughts.

“It seems that now that everyone here is up to speed, we need to decide what to do next,” Sera said. A thoughtful expression flitted across Harry’s face before he spoke.

“Hmm, I guess I should get used to my real name, so if you both don’t mind calling me Aeryn when we are alone.” He said while stretching, the joints in his back popping, he turned to look at Snape. “Besides, it’s not like the Potter name was all that great to live up to. You never did let me apologize for what they did to you,” his eyes narrowed, “they were nothing but bullies,” he spat.

Snape stared at Aeryn, he had been absolutely furious that the boy had seen that particular memory. The fact that he could empathize with him blew Snape away, not that it showed.

“If anyone here needs forgiveness here, it is I, I let the past cloud my judgment. For that I’m sorry,” Snape replied.

“Well, if we can both put it in the past and start over I’m game if you are sir?” Aeryn held out his hand to Snape, “Hello, I’m Aeryn it’s nice to meet you.”

“Severus Snape, but you can call me Severus,” he reached out and shook the young man’s hand. “Just out of curiosity, you seem to be pretty excepting of me, why?”

“You never treated me anything other then a normal person, granted you are biased to your Slytherins. I never wanted the fame and glory, as you put it.” Aeryn said smiling slightly. “Knowing what I do now I regret not taking Draco’s hand in friendship all those years ago,” he looked remorseful. “Ah well...” he trailed off.

“What, you’re not planning on telling Weasley and Granger about all of this,” Snape was shocked. He wasn’t prepared for the cold fury that showed in the young man’s face.

“You didn’t think it was just the old man that betrayed me now do you?” his voice dripped with scorn. “Anything I say to them will get back to our ‘dear old Headmaster’ his two little spies fucked up and I caught them, not that they know. It takes blood traitor to a whole new level with Weasley,” Aeryn sneered.

“What do you plan to do now?” Snape asked changing the subject.

“Funny, I just had a dream asking the same thing; pretty much the gist of it was that I decided I need to learn more and train. I want to be respected for who I am, not what I may have done in the past.” He said seriously.

“May I make a suggestion?” Sera startled both men, laughing she continued. “Guess you both forgot that I was here, anyway whatever you plan to do will have to wait until our birthday. Whatever power you will inherit from our parents will manifest then,” she explained.

“Wouldn’t it be easier if we weren’t here when that happens, I mean won’t someone notice?”

“I can mask everything that happens; right now your magical signature is still tied into the wards of this house. If what I think will happen when you inherit, it will change it enough that we will be able to leave without anyone knowing you are gone. Besides if we leave I’ll need your help in making a simulacrum, a type of golem if you will.” She explained. Aeryn nodded and looked over at Snape.

“Can you manage to stay until then, its only two more days till the 31st, I understand if you have to leave.”

“I don’t see it as a problem in staying seeing as it is that I can’t divulge any secrets with the charm that is on me. If I can though I would like to send some word to the Dark Lord, I can do that without giving up any information.” As an afterthought he added. “He thinks you dead by the way.”

“Hmmm, I guess he does,” Aeryn said rubbing his forehead where the famous scar used to be. “Severus do you think that you could arrange a meeting between Voldemort and me, I don’t want to commit to anything I just want to see if we can come to some type of truce or not, for now.”

“Here why don’t you help me write the letter and we’ll see what comes of it.” Severus conjured parchment and a quill and the two of them set about writing the letter to the Dark Lord. Finishing quickly Aeryn walked over to Hedwig and tied the letter off on her leg.

“Here girl, I need you to take this to Lord Voldemort, wait for a reply please.” She hooted softly at him and nibbled his fingers before taking off.

While Sera took down the stasis spell Aeryn stared out the window unsure of the things to come, only knowing now at least the choices were his to make this time. Smiling he turned around and the three of them settled down to wait.