Someone Else's Life

Four: Broken

Cause I’m broken when I’m open,
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough.
Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome,
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away.
--Seether featuring Amy Lee “Broken”

Strange. That was the only word that Hermione could come up with that fully surmised her best friend and their worst rival. Peculiar followed strange in a close range, but strange was the bluntest and most straightforward of answers that could come to her.

She was staying with the Weasleys for the rest of the week since she’d met up with them in Diagon Alley, and had been sharing a room with Ginny. During the last few days of her stay she’d noticed many little things between the pair. Harry seemed oddly protective of Malfoy, and Harry was different. He was quieter and spent most of his time absorbed in a book or with Malfoy. He actually spent most of his free time with Malfoy and a book. It was eerie how they would sit next to each other with a book open between them, and every now and again pausing and discussing a passage which they had just finished reading. They had similar thinking patterns and could argue or discuss their reading for hours. It was also strange how Malfoy only seemed comfortable when Harry touched him. He flinched for a moment every time Mrs. Weasley swept him up in a bone-crushing hug, but appeared to glow every time Harry touched him, whether it was a brush of fingertips or a hand on his shoulder.

Hermione was afraid to draw the conclusions that were plainly evident. Ron was her clinching clue. He always glared at Harry and Malfoy, and he hardly breathed a word in Harry’s direction, let alone talked to him anymore. Finally she had had enough of her suspicions and wanted fact, so she cornered Ron in his room before he could hurry past her and downstairs to lunch.

He was walking out of the twins’ bedroom, his new room, and she pushed him back through the doorway and shut the door firmly behind her. He looked at her curiously.

“Hermione?”

She gave him a firm look that demanded answers to the questions that would undoubtedly fall from her lips.

“Ron, what has been going on? What is with Harry…and Malfoy?” she asked.

Ron sighed. “Harry’s gone off his rocker, but he was like that since he first got here. He really went off when Malfoy got here. You know first day Malfoy was here I caught them snoggin’? Disgusting really. Made me sick. Wonder how long it was going on before then? Aren’t you curious why Malfoy would give up everything and go through what he did?”

“You think he’s a spy?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” the redhead answered. “I mean I saw him after he was brought here. He was in a bad way, all messed up from curses and floggings. Still, why would he choose good now? Why get so close to Harry? It’s just…and with the way Harry’s been acting. He’s pushing me…us away. He doesn’t want us anymore. All he wants is that stupid ferret face.”

Hermione took in all that her friend had said and her eyes widened in realization. “Oh sweet Circe! Ron!”

The boy looked up with a start. “What?” he asked.

“Don’t you get it at all? All those years of Malfoy’s stupid tricks and determination to get us, and more importantly Harry, in trouble. He wanted Harry to notice him, to know that he was just as worthy of attention as we were. And Harry has always been obsessed with Malfoy’s downfall, and now that Malfoy is on our side things have changed. They are on the same side, so they are allowed to get to know each other, instead of simply compete for attention from each other…” she said, her voice almost shaky with what she’d said.

Ron’s mouth fell open in shock. “You mean to tell me that… Bloody hell! Six years of hating each other only to really be in love, all that bloody time?! No, Harry’s dated girls! Remember Cho, well that didn’t last long, but what about Hannah Abbot, and Lavender?”

“You do remember how it ended with Lavender? A shouting match and her going to the papers and giving an exclusive on Harry’s sexual orientation. She might not have been too far off the mark. Look at how protective Harry’s become of Malfoy, and you said yourself that you’ve caught them snogging.”

“But that was only the one time,” Ron said weakly, and was beginning to look a bit green.

“Perhaps we should confront them and hear it from them, or Harry at least. If we can’t accept this, then Harry will only continue to push us away. I may not understand this at all, but I still don’t want to lose Harry. And I know that you feel that same way, Ron. Besides, deep down Harry knows that he still needs us, and we have to let him know that we are there for him,” she said, her voice filled with resolve.

Ron crossed his arms over his chest, and put his foot firmly down. “No, he should be the first to apologize. He was the one acting like a horse’s arse, even before ferret face came along.”

She rolled her eyes. “That way of thinking won’t help anything. Just get over your pride, will you. Or do you want to lose your best friend?”

Ron looked visibly shaken at that question, sighed, and shook his head. “No, but he can be really thick sometimes.”

“And aren’t you one to talk?” Hermione admonished.

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He sighed and decided that he couldn’t read another word of the book, as the words were finally beginning to blur, and he’d already read that particular chapter several times over and could quote it sufficiently. He put the book down on the little bedside table and then began to stretch. He groaned as he muscles flexed and the tension slowly eased, and he turned to the bed next to him and saw the dark haired boy still hunched over a Transfiguration text.

He shook his head got off of the bed and approached the dark haired boy, a small smile on his face. He sat down on the bed, and as it dipped under his weight, bringing both boys closer, the dark haired boy looked at the blond that was now sitting on his bed. The blond took the opportunity to take the glasses from the dark haired boy’s nose and quickly pocketed them.

“Harry,” the blond said. “All you’ve done since I’ve been here is look after me when I was sick, chores, and read. It’s time you got out and did something… We could go flying, or…”

At that the dark haired boy’s eyebrows rose and he sighed. “Well, first I think you should give my glasses back. I’m practically blind without them, and secondly what comes after the or?”

The blond looked up shyly as he removed the boy’s glasses from his pocket and held them just out of his reach. “No. You won’t get these back until you promise to do something other than read.”

“Fine,” Harry said. “The words were beginning to get a bit blurry before you took my glasses, now Draco, about that or?”

Draco handed the boy back his glasses, and a hopeful look filled his eyes. “Well we’ve hardly been outside, and I haven’t been swimming in so long. I remember a pond my mother had in her favorite garden. I used to swim there every day of summer, and she would sit beneath one of the willows, sometimes reading or just watching me swim.”

“You want to go swimming?” Harry asked in disbelief.

“What?” Draco asked in offence. “It’s a nice relaxing past time, it’s a nice day for it, and it is the summer. Have you any idea how unbearably hot it is? What is with this heat wave?”

Harry snorted in laughter. “All right. I think it’s about time for lunch; maybe we can talk Mrs. Weasley into letting us pack a basket to eat outside, sort of a picnic. I’m sure there’s a lake within the wards, and it’s in the woods, so it would probably just be the two of us.”

“Just the two of us?” Draco asked slyly and smirked. “Sounds perfect.”

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Hermione and Ron had stopped by Ron’s old room where both Harry and Malfoy had been staying, and sighed when they found the room empty. They then headed downstairs for lunch in the hopes of seeing the pair ensconced in a book over sandwiches. When they got to the kitchen they found only Mrs. Weasley and Ginny. Ron did a quick sweep of the main room and found it empty as well.

“Ron, are you looking for someone?” his mother asked.

He noticed that Hermione was tapping her foot, and waiting on him to move forward with the next step, as he was the stubborn one at the moment. Finally Ron took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Mum,” he said. “Do you know where Harry is?”

His mother beamed at the question and shook her head. “Finally! It took you long enough to come to your senses. They asked for a basket for lunch and headed toward the lake. You know the wards are extended around the lake, so the dears are perfectly safe. Would you like me to pack the two of you a lunch as well to join them?”

Ron and Hermione shook their heads and simply grabbed the sandwiches from their plates and headed out the door. Molly Weasley raised her eyebrows and shook her head. Maybe there would finally be peace between Ron and Harry once again. It was always so strained when those two fought. She looked to Ginny who was just finishing off her sandwich, and smiled.

“Aren’t you going to join them, Poppet?” she asked.

Ginny simply shook her head. “No, they have things to work through, and I think I’ll be able to hear the shouting match from here.”

Molly chuckled. “It will either be a shouting match, or Ron will march straight back here in a passion. But Hermione will be there, so I’m not worried about a fight.”

Ginny just sighed and hoped that her mother was right. Ron was always unpredictable when he was angry.

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Once they had reached the lake, they laid out the blanket on the ground and set the basket of food on top of it. Then Draco pulled off his shirt and jeans, leaving him only in his boxers. He raced over to the lake and glided in with a grace that shocked Harry. Harry followed Draco’s example, tossing off his shirt and fumbling with his own jeans until he finally got them off, took off his glasses and put them with his clothes, and then he too raced into the lake. The water was cold, but it didn’t matter, because within moments he was used to it and was off after Draco who was bobbing in the middle of the lake with a grin on his face. Harry felt something stir and flutter within his stomach as he looked at the blond, and realized that was the first time he’d ever seen him grin.

As soon as Harry was in range, Draco began to splash him. Harry began to splash back and soon the pair were splashing and swimming about the lake, their laughter dancing across the surface of the water. Draco went under, grabbed Harry about the waist and dragged him under, and spun him so that they faced each other under water. Time seemed to pause as their eyes locked and they broke the surface together. Draco’s hands still gripping Harry’s waist, and Harry’s hands had followed suit gripping Draco’s warm waist. Soon their arms were around each other, neither trying to fight it as they drew closer together. Their lips met in a clashing of desperate tongues, as they eagerly tasted each other. Draco’s hand raking through Harry’s wet hair.

When they parted both were gasping for breath and Draco was looking strangely at Harry. Harry sent him a questioning look to which Draco answered, “Potter…Harry, this is the first time I’ve ever seen your hair manageable.”

At that they both burst out laughing again and then a current swept them closer together, and they both gasped as their arousals collided. Draco let go of Harry and turned away when he noticed Harry’s blush.

“I…er…um,” Harry began, unsure of what to say.

Draco turned again to face him and shook his head. “So naively innocent. You don’t have to say anything. It’s just the next step. We snog like mad, so obviously we’re attracted to each other.”

Harry’s mouth was moving, but no sound was coming out, he looked like a goldfish. Draco smirked at him and pushed a few dark wet locks out of the boy’s face. “You said you wanted me. This is naturally a part of it. Let me know now if it’s too much for you. I would understand. I’m the first boy aren’t I?”

Harry swallowed thickly and nodded. “Yeah… I don’t know, this is different, something I want, but ever since Lavender said those things to the papers…”

Draco cocked his head and looked at the dark haired boy before him. “There is no one here that matters except for you and me. I won’t be toyed with, Potter. If you say you still want me now, then so be it. We don’t have to do anything past snogging for a while, but don’t toy with me. I’ve had enough of that for a lifetime. I’ve been played a pawn for too long. I have finally reached the point of feeling important again, and I refuse to let anyone take that from me. I am not expendable, Potter, don’t you dare treat me like I am.”

“It’s not that. Just… How could you possibly want me? I’m not really here. I’m nothing except the world’s next breath…” Harry said with a bitter laugh.

“What?” Draco began. “You’re wrong. You’re here right now with me. I don’t want the world, I want you. There is a difference you see. You’re a better catch than all of the world. Are you really that broken? And here I thought I was the only broken one. It’s that heliocentric complex, I tell you. Well, since we are both so broken let’s find the pieces together and mend them. What a masterpiece we would make, you and me. Disgraced and disowned son of a Death Eater, and the Boy Who Lived, yes what a pair, but we don’t have to be that. We can just be two boys on the edge of discovering something new.”

“Just us?” Harry asked.

The blond nodded. “Just us. No one else is a part of what we have, but I wouldn’t mind people knowing about us. It’s already obvious that the Slytherins are out for my head, so I really don’t have that much to worry about, unless you count Weasley, but it would be different for you, they all still idolize you. They wouldn’t understand it at first, the rest of the school. I know that no one really likes me, so I know what to expect, but with us together, if that’s what we are…”

In an answer to the words left unspoken Harry wrapped his arms around the blond and kissed him fervently, worshipfully. “Together we’ll fix what’s broken,” he murmured as they broke apart, and then he initiated another kiss.

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When Ron and Hermione reached the lake they saw the evidence of a picnic and noticed clothing thrown to the ground and abandoned next to the blanket. They looked out across the lake, but saw no one, and then the water swelled and broke as two boys surfaced. Even from the boys’ distance from the shore, Ron and Hermione could tell that something was happening, and then the two boys, one fair-haired and the other dark haired kissed.

After a moment the kiss was broken and the blond was running his hand through the dark haired boy’s hair. He was talking and then they were both laughing, until something happened and they stopped. The air around them suddenly became serious. The pair was discussing something and then the dark haired boy was kissing the fair-haired boy.

Hermione gasped as she watched. She wished that she knew what they’d been saying. Ron was beside her and when she turned to look at him she noticed that he was shaking. Before she could stop him he’d burst through the trees and into the clearing where the boys’ had set up their picnic. Ron was shouting and cursing and looked about ready to storm into the lake and drag out both boys, Harry and Draco. Hermione hurried into the clearing in the hopes of easing the tension.

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They were kissing when they suddenly broke apart at the sound of shouting from the shore. They looked in the direction of their picnic and noticed a redhead yelling his head off and shaking his fist in the air, and he was soon joined by a girl with a wild mane of brown curls, who appeared to be trying to calm him.

The blond turned to the dark haired boy and spoke, “This is the beginning Harry. Are you prepared for what’s to come?”

Harry looked at the blond and then toward the shore. “Together?” he asked.

The blond smirked playfully, nodded, and then said, “Maybe we should remove our pants so they’ll think we were skinny dipping. Do you think Weasley’s heart could stand it?”

“Are you mad? They’ve caught us snogging! If they thought it was more than that… Draco, are you really that evil?”

The blond rolled his eyes. “I prefer wicked, and couldn’t you just imagine the looks on their faces.”

“Would that be before or after he decked you?” Harry said with a skeptical look.

“Weasley, physical violence?” Draco questioned and then winced. “All right point taken, but this has severely spoiled my fun.”

“I think I could make up for it later…” Harry suggested.

Draco regarded him with raised eyebrows. “Oh Potter, you have been sorely misguided if you think that making up for my spoiled fun is so easily done.”

“And you Black, are underestimating me.”

“You think so?”

Harry nodded. “And I fully intend to prove it, but that will come later, as we have to deal with the Weasley temper at the moment and Hermione looks as though she is quickly running out of patience.”

“Are you still so determined to lose your friends?” Draco asked.

Harry sighed and shook his head. “No, and as much as it pains me to admit it… You may have been right.”

Draco turned to the dark haired boy, a look of disbelief etched over his features. “Could you say that again? I don’t think I heard correctly.”

Harry groaned and then repeated what he’d said about Draco being right. The blond grinned and then made a mad dash for the shore, leaving Harry to take his own time to the shore to face Ron Weasley. Draco walked onto the shore and headed toward the basket, pulling out the sandwiches and drinks, and then the towels that were tucked in at the bottom. He toweled his hair for a few moments, and then wrapped the towel about his waist, and shook his damp hair, which promptly stood on end. He ran a hand through it and shook it some more, not really caring how neat or messy his hair was.

He looked up and noticed that Harry had finally managed to make it to shore. He smirked at the tanned boy in the dark grey boxers before tossing him the second towel. Harry caught it and looked at the blond gratefully.

Ron had been silent since Draco had reached the shore.

Draco looked cautiously at Ron and Hermione and then looked at Harry once more with a warm smile. “Harry we should have gone through with it. It appears that Granger has the Weasel on his leash so the looks on their face would have been priceless, and I admit that I may have been entertained by the view.”

“As tempting as that idea was, Ron’s temperament would have come to the fore and I’m more than certain Hermione wouldn’t have appreciated the view,” Harry said, and then sighed. “And can’t you just called them Ron and Hermione? Why resort to insults?”

“Well…” Draco shrugged. “He still calls me ferret face, and she still refers to me as… At any rate, they continue to insult me. I think it falls into Quid Pro Quo. When they stop, so shall I. And what is wrong with Weasley? He hasn’t said a word since I stepped foot on shore.”

At that Hermione cleared her throat. “That would be my doing. I had to cast a silencing charm on him to get him to be quiet. I don’t think he’s too pleased about it, but really, none of us would have gotten a word in edgewise with him yelling like a thick headed oaf.”

Draco laughed and looked at Harry. “She’s always been like this? Loyalty, spirit, and brains. What is wrong with you Potter? Even the weasel is loyal to a fault. So quick to give it up. What were you scared of? They are more than capable of holding their own.”

Ron’s eyes widened and Hermione turned to Harry and both stared at him in shock. Harry looked from Draco to the ground, unable to meet the gaze of his friends. Draco took out his wand from his bundle of clothes, pointed it at Ron and said, “Finite Incantatum.”

Ron looked at Harry and opened his mouth, startled a moment when sound came out. “Harry, is it true? You didn’t want us around anymore. You would rather have him,” that last bit aimed directly at Draco. “Than us? What about when you cared about us and defended us against people like him? What about when we were there for you through it all? Every adventure, getting back at him and the other Slytherins. Talking for hours, playing exploding snap, and complaining about Snape. You would give us up for him? We’re your family Harry, not him, us… Why?”

“Draco is not the reason Ron. It was because we are so close. Don’t you realize that you and Hermione are in danger just because you’re my friends? I couldn’t live with myself if either of you or your families were hurt because we’re friends. I can’t allow either of you to sacrifice yourself in the final battle when it comes, and it’s coming sooner than anyone thinks. It’s my fight, and mine alone,” Harry said.

“No, Harry. You don’t have to fight alone,” Hermione said gently as she took a step closer and put a hand on Harry’s wet shoulder.

He took a step back to avoid her touch. She withdrew her hand as though she’d been bitten and stared at Harry. Her eyes wide as she tried to blink back the tears and reign in her emotions. Ron just stared at Harry as though he didn’t know him anymore. Draco sighed and stepped closer to Harry. He took the towel from Harry’s limp hand and put it across his shoulders.

“Harry,” he began softly. “It’s time that you tell them. They have a right to know.”

Harry turned around to face the blond and his knees gave way. Draco caught him under the shoulders before he could fall completely. Draco shot a seething glare in Ron’s direction and snapped, “Weasley, stop gawking and help me get him to the blanket.”

Ron did as he was asked and helped his former enemy carry his best friend to the blanket. Once they got Harry to the blanket, Ron let go and Draco looked at Harry, as the dark haired boy drew his legs up, wrapped his arms around them, and pressed his face into his knees. Draco looked at the redhead and the girl, and stood up.

“You have no idea what he’s been going through, and you would dare to come up here and expect explanations after I’ve finally gotten him out of that bloody room, and laughing and living for once. What is wrong with you? And you call yourself friends!” he snapped.

“And what are you Malfoy?” Ron snarled in retaliation and was pleased at how the blond flinched at the name. “Look at all the stupid tricks you played on us. For six years, and all of a sudden Daddy smacks you around a bit, you see the light, and come crying to Harry? What, do you expect us to suddenly believe that you care?”

“That is not my name any more, and I do not wish to be referred to it ever again. And who are you to judge me? You’ve been loved all of your life Weasley! You have your brothers, your sister, your father, your mother… All I wanted was a friend, but he turned me down because of you. What do I have left in the world? I’ve only ever loved two people. One is in the ground, and you are tearing apart the other…” Draco yelled and then stopped abruptly as he realized all too late what he’d just revealed.

He looked down at Harry, who was now looking up at him, his silvery eyes locked with Harry’s green and he swallowed thickly. “You weren’t supposed to know until you were ready. Until I knew how you would react…”

Ron looked about ready to say more when Hermione reached out and firmly gripped his shoulder, in the quiet threat of another silencing charm. Ron acquiesced to her request with a thick swallow. They watched as Draco knelt before Harry so that they were on the same level. Harry appeared cold, shut off. Draco reached out, but Harry flinched away from his touch. The blond closed his eyes and slowly let out his breath in an attempt to calm himself.

Harry blinked and then narrowed his eyes at the blond. “You promised.”

“And maybe I lied. I am a Slytherin after all. Do you really take a nod as an affirmation of a promise? You want the truth?” he asked and Harry nodded. “Fine, then that’s what you shall have. I will tell you why I am so broken, but then you are going to tell them about that bloody prophecy. They are going to know why you were trying to push them away, and you and I both know that it was not because of me…”

Hermione cleared her throat. “What promise and what prophecy?”

“Always eager for knowledge, Granger? Very well. Harry accepted my friendship on the basis that I promised not to sacrifice myself for him, but because of the way I feel about him, I would more than willingly give up my life for his. It is no secret that he is tenfold the man that I could ever be,” Draco said.

“Make that a hundred fold and you’d still be off the mark,” Ron grumbled.

Draco rolled his eyes, and looked at Harry. “Is it the details you want Potter? You want to know the stories behind every time I tremble in the after shocks of the Cruciatus? You want to know about how every bruise was inflicted? Or would you like to know about the scar on my inner right thigh, the one that you haven’t seen yet? Tell me what it is that you want of me and I will give it to you.”

Hermione stared at the blond before her, hardly recognizing him as the boy that had taunted her and her friends for years. “Harry, stop this. We don’t have to know.”

“Maybe not,” Harry spoke up. “But I have to. Stay if you want to, if he’ll let you.”

By that point Draco was pacing, and Ron and Hermione looked uncertain about what to do. Finally Draco stopped and turned to his audience. Both Ron and Hermione looked as though they would rather be somewhere else, and Harry was closed off. “You two, sit,” Draco snapped at Ron and Hermione, and then he grabbed Harry’s shoulders and shook the boy. “And you. I want you to hear every word. I won’t allow you to retreat into yourself. You want to know about what I’ve suffered then I will tell you. No more secrets.”

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