50 Ways to Effectively Annoy Draco Malfoy
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
4
Views:
1,878
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
4
Views:
1,878
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
50 Ways to Effectively Annoy Draco Malfoy [#4]
I was sleep-talking with my schizophrenic self as I walked along the dream grounds of the dream Hogwarts.
I've gotten quite used to Draco running away from me these days. Especially when I have Waffles with me. This was not good. This was not good at ALL.
Think, how am I supposed to annoy him when he won't go near me?
You're right. We have to earn his trust.
But how?
What do I look like? A genius!?!?
No, you look like me.
I'm not talking to you!
HA! I wish.
I hate you...
I love you too.
HA! I knew you were lesbian!
Not you too!
*smirk*
How the hell are you smirking? You're a person inside me! YOU. CAN'T. SMIRK.
*smirks more*
I need help, and lots of it.
I'M A THERAPIST! I CAN HELP YOU!
I'm insane. It's official.
I continued walking around the lake, ignoring the voice in my head.
Then (dun dun dun) A thought popped into my head. What am I going to do to annoy him?
The thought consumed me totally. I was so lost in my own mind that I didn't see the lake in front of me.
SPLASH!
The thought slipped from my mind when I found myself underwater.
Shit, I fell in the lake again didn't I?
I began swimming up to the surface when I felt something wrap around my waist. I began kicking and moving my arms faster but to no avail.
Then I felt Waffles jump on my head. (I could tell it was him because he had monkey feet.)
He began trying to pull me up to the surface but it didn't work considering he was tiny as hell.
I could feel my lungs burning. I needed air, NOW.
Hello.
NOT. RIGHT. NOW!
Why? What's going on?
Something's kind of drowning me.
Serves you right for being mean to me.
...
I'll let you drown in peace now.
...
My lungs were on fire now. I was desperate. I NEEDED air.
My mouth burst open and I felt water rushing in. It was then, dear reader, that I blacked out.
(NO SHIT SHERLOCK!
That's it! You're going down bitch! DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE! *jumps schizophrenic self.*
Quiz taker: WDF is going on here? Why the hell am I reading this series!?!? It's so retarded!
Meh: Did you know that retard means late in french? When my french teacher was in college [She went to college in France] she would always pass this door with a sign on it that said "Les Retards." *cracks up.*
Quiz taker: What does this have to do with anything? Why the hell am I still here? Why haven't I killed BlackandRedStreaks yet?
Meh: Because you love me?
Quiz taker: *Sharpens knife* Guess again bitch.
Meh: *Is already long gone.*
Quiz taker: I'll get you my pretty, and your little computer too.
Meh: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*End of stupid random thingie*)
I woke up. (Meh: WOW. Really?)
I looked around me. (Meh: Gasp!)
And I concluded that I was still alive. (Meh: IT'S A MIRACLE! *looks at angry quiz takers* Heh, I'll shut up now.)
I was in the hospital wing. Damn, the white was beginning to get to me.
A shadow passed over me and looked up to see... MADAME POMFREY!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I got up and ran out of the hospital wing. I didn't make it though. The hamster ninjas caught me before I made it to the door.
HAMSTER NINJAS!?!? I'm getting my head checked first thing this summer.
NOOOOO! DON'T!
>]
I sat straight up in my (real) bed, panting.
"LYKE OH EM GEE! KIRA YOU WOKE ME UP! You stupid slut!" One of my oh-so-charming roommates called out. I looked at the digital clock next to my bed. '150:69' It blinked. I stared blankly at it.
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...
I hit the clock and the alarm went off.
BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
By now my roommates would've killed me. Too bad they're to stupid to figure out that it was my clock.
I watched them all run around bumping into each other trying to make the noise stop. It was funny.
It was VERY funny.
I got up and maneuvered around the pops. I met Waffles in the common room and we went to get breakfast.
"Hey Kira." Celine greeted me in a lethargic way as was the norm for mornings.
(Meh: MOMMY LOOK AT ALL THE BIG WORDS I USED!)
(My mommy: Good job Toni. Here have a cookie.)
(Meh: YAY DRUG-... I mean, thank you mother dearest. HAH! Yeah right, I WISH my mom was like that. But in case you were wondering, cookies are my drugs.)
(Quiz Takers: NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU GET HIGH OFF OF!)
(Meh: Kim does.)
(Kim: *Ignores Toni*)
(Meh: Damn...)
"Hey Celine. Sup?"
"Nothing. Sup with you?"
"Had a dream that I fell in the lake, woke up, and got attacked by ninja hamsters."
"Cool."
"HEY! WAFFLES!" Waffles (the food) always put me in a good mood. Unfortunately, Waffles (the monkey) heard me shouting.
Waffles (the monkey) bounded towards the table.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY WAFFLES BITCH!" People stared at me.
Waffles and I both dove for the plate of waffles at the same time. We both got there at the same time.
We began tugging on opposite ends of the waffle. I, thinking that I was stronger, reached for the syrup and poured it on the waffle.
"Why isn't the waffle broken by now? And you DO realize that there's more than one waffle right?" Celine stated.
Waffles and I ignored her as we continued fighting for the waffle.
Celine sighed and sat down to watch.
By now Waffles had the upper hand and was pulling ferociously.
I was NOT going to lose this fight. I tugged harder on the waffle.
"Are you REALLY sure you want to eat a waffle that's THAT hard?" Celine asked again.
Waffles stopped to think about it for a second. That second was all I needed to pull the waffle out of his hands. And when I did I tripped over the bench/seat thing behind me.
My prize waffle went flying.
And guess who it landed on? Syrup and everything.
If you guessed Dumbledore, you're WRONG.
It landed on the one and only, Draco Malfoy.
Since I love syrup so much, I put a lot on my waffles. Enough so that when the waffle was stuck in Draco's hair it got all over his hair and began dripping down his face.
Draco, once again, stormed out of the great hall.
50 Ways to Effectively Annoy Draco Malfoy
1. Have Harry make out with his girlfriend.
2. Tell Pansy that Draco shags other girls.
3. Ask him to kiss the "butt monkey."
4. Get waffles (the food) with syrup in his hair.
I've gotten quite used to Draco running away from me these days. Especially when I have Waffles with me. This was not good. This was not good at ALL.
Think, how am I supposed to annoy him when he won't go near me?
You're right. We have to earn his trust.
But how?
What do I look like? A genius!?!?
No, you look like me.
I'm not talking to you!
HA! I wish.
I hate you...
I love you too.
HA! I knew you were lesbian!
Not you too!
*smirk*
How the hell are you smirking? You're a person inside me! YOU. CAN'T. SMIRK.
*smirks more*
I need help, and lots of it.
I'M A THERAPIST! I CAN HELP YOU!
I'm insane. It's official.
I continued walking around the lake, ignoring the voice in my head.
Then (dun dun dun) A thought popped into my head. What am I going to do to annoy him?
The thought consumed me totally. I was so lost in my own mind that I didn't see the lake in front of me.
SPLASH!
The thought slipped from my mind when I found myself underwater.
Shit, I fell in the lake again didn't I?
I began swimming up to the surface when I felt something wrap around my waist. I began kicking and moving my arms faster but to no avail.
Then I felt Waffles jump on my head. (I could tell it was him because he had monkey feet.)
He began trying to pull me up to the surface but it didn't work considering he was tiny as hell.
I could feel my lungs burning. I needed air, NOW.
Hello.
NOT. RIGHT. NOW!
Why? What's going on?
Something's kind of drowning me.
Serves you right for being mean to me.
...
I'll let you drown in peace now.
...
My lungs were on fire now. I was desperate. I NEEDED air.
My mouth burst open and I felt water rushing in. It was then, dear reader, that I blacked out.
(NO SHIT SHERLOCK!
That's it! You're going down bitch! DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE! *jumps schizophrenic self.*
Quiz taker: WDF is going on here? Why the hell am I reading this series!?!? It's so retarded!
Meh: Did you know that retard means late in french? When my french teacher was in college [She went to college in France] she would always pass this door with a sign on it that said "Les Retards." *cracks up.*
Quiz taker: What does this have to do with anything? Why the hell am I still here? Why haven't I killed BlackandRedStreaks yet?
Meh: Because you love me?
Quiz taker: *Sharpens knife* Guess again bitch.
Meh: *Is already long gone.*
Quiz taker: I'll get you my pretty, and your little computer too.
Meh: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*End of stupid random thingie*)
I woke up. (Meh: WOW. Really?)
I looked around me. (Meh: Gasp!)
And I concluded that I was still alive. (Meh: IT'S A MIRACLE! *looks at angry quiz takers* Heh, I'll shut up now.)
I was in the hospital wing. Damn, the white was beginning to get to me.
A shadow passed over me and looked up to see... MADAME POMFREY!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I got up and ran out of the hospital wing. I didn't make it though. The hamster ninjas caught me before I made it to the door.
HAMSTER NINJAS!?!? I'm getting my head checked first thing this summer.
NOOOOO! DON'T!
>]
I sat straight up in my (real) bed, panting.
"LYKE OH EM GEE! KIRA YOU WOKE ME UP! You stupid slut!" One of my oh-so-charming roommates called out. I looked at the digital clock next to my bed. '150:69' It blinked. I stared blankly at it.
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...
I hit the clock and the alarm went off.
BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
By now my roommates would've killed me. Too bad they're to stupid to figure out that it was my clock.
I watched them all run around bumping into each other trying to make the noise stop. It was funny.
It was VERY funny.
I got up and maneuvered around the pops. I met Waffles in the common room and we went to get breakfast.
"Hey Kira." Celine greeted me in a lethargic way as was the norm for mornings.
(Meh: MOMMY LOOK AT ALL THE BIG WORDS I USED!)
(My mommy: Good job Toni. Here have a cookie.)
(Meh: YAY DRUG-... I mean, thank you mother dearest. HAH! Yeah right, I WISH my mom was like that. But in case you were wondering, cookies are my drugs.)
(Quiz Takers: NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU GET HIGH OFF OF!)
(Meh: Kim does.)
(Kim: *Ignores Toni*)
(Meh: Damn...)
"Hey Celine. Sup?"
"Nothing. Sup with you?"
"Had a dream that I fell in the lake, woke up, and got attacked by ninja hamsters."
"Cool."
"HEY! WAFFLES!" Waffles (the food) always put me in a good mood. Unfortunately, Waffles (the monkey) heard me shouting.
Waffles (the monkey) bounded towards the table.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY WAFFLES BITCH!" People stared at me.
Waffles and I both dove for the plate of waffles at the same time. We both got there at the same time.
We began tugging on opposite ends of the waffle. I, thinking that I was stronger, reached for the syrup and poured it on the waffle.
"Why isn't the waffle broken by now? And you DO realize that there's more than one waffle right?" Celine stated.
Waffles and I ignored her as we continued fighting for the waffle.
Celine sighed and sat down to watch.
By now Waffles had the upper hand and was pulling ferociously.
I was NOT going to lose this fight. I tugged harder on the waffle.
"Are you REALLY sure you want to eat a waffle that's THAT hard?" Celine asked again.
Waffles stopped to think about it for a second. That second was all I needed to pull the waffle out of his hands. And when I did I tripped over the bench/seat thing behind me.
My prize waffle went flying.
And guess who it landed on? Syrup and everything.
If you guessed Dumbledore, you're WRONG.
It landed on the one and only, Draco Malfoy.
Since I love syrup so much, I put a lot on my waffles. Enough so that when the waffle was stuck in Draco's hair it got all over his hair and began dripping down his face.
Draco, once again, stormed out of the great hall.
1. Have Harry make out with his girlfriend.
2. Tell Pansy that Draco shags other girls.
3. Ask him to kiss the "butt monkey."
4. Get waffles (the food) with syrup in his hair.