Untrue Fantasies

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to it.


Chapter 4 -

"Fishing, fishing, fishing dun-DUNNN...fishing, fishing, fishing, dun-DUNNNN..."
"Harry, will you shut up?", asked Hermione, sitting with her back to a tree trunk "Seriously, you're not even fishing you twat."
Harry turned around slowly with a pouty look aned said, "Well can't you leave me at peace to pretend that I'm fishing?"
"Of course not, you twat."
"Oh...in that case, okay."
"We're not even near the lake, why are you talking about fishing?"
"We're close to the lake."
"Well, DUH. An entire side of Hogwarts is facing a lake."
"So you're saying I'm sexy, then?"
"yes-NO-wait...oh, here comes Ron! Hey you gay person, you!"
Ron did looks spectacularly more gay that usual today, sporting pink robes and a poodle. He decided that, since he was gay, he wouldn't go on hiding it and that he would actually flaunt it. However, this transition came too quickly and he was still a little depressed.
"Hey, guys."
Hermione and Harry replied in perfect creepy unison, "Hi."
"So, what are our plans this Saturday?"
"You mean today?" asked Hermione.
"Yeah."
Harry sat up and said while brushing dirt off of his heels, "Well, I'm planning to go to the quidditch pitch and fly a few laps before going to the common room."
"Yeah" said Hermione "And I'm planning on going to the library to eat lunch and be in the presence of my book friends."
"Oh..."
"Ron? you okay?", Harry asked.
"No...I just thought that...well, I wanted to spend today with you guys."
"Well, we don't have to do that stuff. I mean, we could always stay in the common room and play some cards or..."
Harry intervened quickly and screamed, "ORGY!"

...silence...

"Umm, no thanks, Harry. Or we could all go to the pitch and fly some laps.", said Hermione.
"Oh...damn.", said Harry.

Later that day, at the pitch, they had all jumped into the air and started flying around in circles and such. However, due to the extreme wind and speed, they had to scream to even speak with each other.

"HERMIONE!!! DO YOU WANT TO STOP FLYING IN CIRCLES NOW?!?", Harry screamed.
"I SECOND THAT MOTION!!!", Ron then screamed.
"FINE!", replied Hermione.
WHAT?!!?", screamed both Ron and Harry in perfect eerie unison.
"I SAID 'FINE'!!! MEANING I AGREE WITH YOUR REQUEST...TWATS!!"

They softly landed on the ground...except for Ron who smashed into the ground at breakneck speed...breaking his legs, ironically enough. Harry went into the locker room to shower and masturbate. Hermione said she would head back to the prefect's bathroom to shower and definitely not masturbate under any circumstances whatsoever. Ron's legs were broken and he was left outside to cry until somebody noticed him.

"Ooh, I'm showering in the shower, yup I am, showering, showering, showering, yup, water and suds, buds tuds, and such. Yup, I'm showering and..."

Harry continued like that for ten minutes until he heard a splash. He spun around quickly, and slipped.

While falling down, he landed on something soft and female-shaped. Curious as to what a soft female-shaped pillow would be doing in the showers, he got to his feet to see another pair of feet peaking out from under an invisibility cloak.

"Wait, I know those foots!", and with that, Harry pulled off the cloak off of Hermione. She stared back scared and wide-eyed until he said, "So...uh...what're you doing here?"

"Oh...me?"
"Yes."
"Nothing...really, notihng really."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Not looking at me lustfully while I showered?"
"NO...I was...getting my legs wet."
"...?"
"WATER! I was getting my legs wet with water!"
"You couldn't do that in the prefect's bathroom?"
"Of course not."
"...do you want to have hot raunchy fanfiction-like sex in this erotic scenery?"
"...NO!"

With that, Hermione ran off into the moon, galloping like an antelope to the wrong direction.

...Harry masturbated and then walked back to the common room.

A/N: So should I keep going on as a comedy or should I actually have them impaling each other?