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Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Lucius/Hermione
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Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Lucius/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
6
Views:
8,875
Reviews:
42
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Without You
Chapter 4 - Without You
Hermione and Lucius, with hints of Ginny/Remus and Harry/Draco
Rating: PG-13 - NC-17
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the cook... Everything else is JKR’s and Here Without You belongs to 3 Doors Down.
Summary: Lucius remembers the night before after a hangover potion... He decides to go after Hermione and finds out some
surprising things along the way..
Angel - We’ll see about that ring.. For now though Lucius has to go clean up his mess
AncientGirl- Stop dipping into the Absinthe? ? I’m not sure Hermione will agree right now. There might be an explanation to
the Absinthe very soon though.
GapsofMisery- Thank you It wasn’t supposed to go past chapter 1 and then I thought about it and figured why the heck not. I
promise there will be some smut and soon, but can’t say which pairing..
Amethystique- Thanks for the enthusiasm. Your wish is my command.
StoryFreak- Marcus and Oliver?? Now there is a pairing I never thought of. However, that will have to be another story.
As always, I worship the ground my beta JenKM walks on..
~~~~~~~
Lucius had been drinking all night and in the morning he had completely forgotten why he had been drinking with such a
passion. His head was throbbing and the light pouring into his room from the window made it worse. Lucius crawled out of bed
and drew the curtains shut before summoning a hangover potion. He downed the potion swiftly and flopped back into bed.
Everything he had done last night came flooding back to him. His eyes shot open and he saw that the other side of the bed was
empty. He pulled on his dressing gown and hurried toward Hermione’s private study, praying she was there.
The door opened easily, a far cry from the night before, revealing an empty room. A note lay on the desk. Lucius picked up
the parchment and unfolded it.
My dearest Lucius,
Do not seek me out as you will not find me. I need time to myself to think, as do you. What do you want from me
exactly, darling? I do not even know what I want from ‘us’ anymore. It hurts me not being with you. Yet I think it will do us
some good to be apart. I might come home to you soon, Lucius. I might not come home ever. I lived as your faithful companion
and lover for three years and now I do believe it is time for me to reevaluate what I want from life. I tried, Lucius, I
really tried. I told myself that someday you would put a sparkling ring on my finger and beg me to be yours forever and have
your children. I told myself that up until you said you had to ask Draco about everything tonight. I have a sneaking
suspicion that I was just a filler in life for you, my darling, and if I was not, well then what ever I was it was not good
enough to forego Draco’s approval. I am hurting, Lucius, more then I ever have before. More then when I was pregnant with
Remus’ child and miscarried, which was the real reason he left me. Even more then when my mother was killed on Voldemort’s
orders. I love you, my darling, I hope you realise that. I love you more then my precious baby that never got to breathe and
more then my mother who raised me to be the woman I think you might love. Do not try to follow me; it will all be in vain.
All My Love and My Heart,
Hermione
Tears streamed down Lucius’ face. He had screwed up big time and he knew it. He refolded the parchment and left in on the
desk where he had found it. Carefully he closed the study door and walked silently back to his room. Lucius dressed himself
and wrote a quick note to Ginny.
Dear Ginny,
Would it be possible for me to stop in at your home later today? I am in urgent need of your advice as well as your
fiance’s. Just owl me back as soon as you have decided. Hermione left me last night.
Lucius
Lucius whistled for his owl and he tied the parchment to the bird’s leg.
“Fly quickly, it is urgent, Pet.” The bird nodded and flew off.
Lucius set to making himself a small breakfast before moving to his study to read until a message came from Ginny.
~~~~~~
Ginny watched the owl fly straight into the kitchen window and she let out a giggle as it happened. She knew Pet the minute
she saw him. The world’s dumbest owl, owned by Hermione and Lucius naturally. Lucius had let her pick out the owl while he
was shopping with her and Ginny one day. She remembered the pet store owner trying to persuade Hermione to get a different
owl but she would only have Pet. She opened her window and scooped up the half-conscious bird. Placing Pet on the table she
untied the parchment and unrolled it.
“REMUS ”
Remus was in kitchen in a flash, catching Ginny as she fainted. He helped her to a chair and got her a glass of water.
“What’s the matter, Ginny?” His face showed genuine concern as he noticed Pet lying on the table.
“Hermione left Lucius. He wants to come over and talk. Oh Remus, she left him. That poor man.” Ginny could only cry.
Ideas as to why Hermione had left Lucius raced through Ginny’s mind, but none seemed appropriate.
“I’ll write a quick reply and send our owl as I have a feeling that Pet cannot fly anytime soon. Ginny, please don’t cry,
we’ll sort this out. I promise.” Remus kissed her forehead and went to send a quick response to Lucius.
~~~~
Lucius apparated right outside the complex where Ginny’s flat was. He rang the buzzer and Ginny let him in quickly.
“Oh Lucius, I’m so sorry, I had no idea,” she whispered pulling him into a hug.
“It is alright. Did Pet leave yet?”
Ginny giggled and shook her head no. She took Lucius’ hand and led him into the living room.
“Now, tell us everything you know and we’ll get this sorted out.”
Lucius recounted the entire story to Ginny and Remus, while trying to keep some composure about him. When he got to the
letter he was crying.
“I had no clue that she wanted children that desperately. I didn’t even know she had miscarried at all. You knew, Remus, why
didn’t you tell me?” Lucius eye’s shone with tears.
“SHE WHAT? ? REMUS ” Ginny turned her head to her fiancé, looking infuriated.
“She miscarried while she was with me. It was a baby girl. She wouldn’t tell anyone, Ginny. I had to keep it a secret from
everyone. Literally everyone, including her father, who suspected something. He knew after she miscarried in his house when
she tripped over boxes of her mothers things and fell down a flight of stairs. She was five months along when it happened. We
took her to a muggle hospital and the doctor said there was nothing he could do because there was too much blood loss and
trauma to her stomach. Angelique Marie Lupin is buried in a quite little glen near Hogwarts. I’m sorry; I wasn’t allowed to
tell you.”
Lucius had stopped crying and was staring at Lucius now.
“Why did you leave her?” His tone was cold and a bit unnerving.
“She wanted to get pregnant again. Angelique was an accident. I didn’t want to be a father then. I was still recovering from
the war and extremely terrified of passing Lycanthropy onto the baby. That was before Snape discovered that it was not
possible, mind you, andI didn’t want to do that to an innocent. So I left her. Made up a thousand excuses and broke her
heart. I knew she would be better off without me anyway.”
“Remus Lupin. I am appalled by your behaviour. Why if I didn’t love you I’d smack you. No, I think I will still smack you.”
Ginny was angry and Remus tried to avoid her hand but it connected with the side of his face anyway. It stung, but he knew he
deserved it.
“I’m sorry Ginny. I really am.” He hung his head in shame.
She placed a soft kiss on his cheek before turning to Lucius.
“I’ve got no clue where she would go. Best to hope that she’ll come home. Maybe talk to Draco?”
Lucius nodded and made a move to leave.
“Oh no you don’t. Sit down. I’m making you a cup of tea and some lunch. You’re not going anywhere until you’re calmed down.
The last thing I need is you splinching yourself and having to explain it to Hermione.” Ginny stared Lucius back into sitting
down.
He nodded and let Ginny make him lunch.
~~~~
Draco wasn’t expecting his father to show up at his flat as soon as he did. He had sent Hermione away that morning after she
had begged him to help her find a way to fix her mistakes.
He let him come in and let him cry on his shoulder.
“Well, father, you royally botched this one up. Now what are you going to do?”
Lucius stared at the floor numbly. He couldn’t think anymore.
“Since you’re going to sit there and stare at the ugly carpet. I have an announcement to make. Harry and I were married in a
civil ceremony last week. I’m gay.”
Lucius’ eyes shot up to his son. He looked in him in shock.
“You what?”
“Got married. To Harry Potter.”
“I see.” He noticed the plain gold band on his son’s left hand. “And why wasn’t I invited?”
“Because we didn’t tell anyone except Hermione and Ginny. They were our witnesses.”
“I’m your father. You could have told me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d handle it well. I love him, Dad.”
Lucius nodded and went back to staring at the carpet.
“She’s not here. I think you need to think on how much you need her before I even consider helping you. Your best bet is to
think about it tonight and then maybe talk to Molly Weasley tomorrow about how to fix things. You need to find her in good
time. You messed up old man. I’m not cleaning this one up, it’s all you.”
Draco hugged his father and then showed him to the door.
“I mean it. Think on it and figure it out. She needs you and you need her. You need her more than she needs you.”
Lucius let the tears fall as he said goodbye to Draco and apparated home.
~~~~
Lucius lay in bed that night looking at picture albums that Hermione had created of their years together. He was glad there
was a protective cover over them because he couldn’t stop crying if he tried. He traced the pictures of her lovingly and
sighed as he downed his fifth glass of fire whiskey. Lucius dug through her CDs until he found the 3 Doors Down cd he loved.
He finally got her stereo to work in the den and he found the track and hit play.
A hundred days have made me older since the last time that I've saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face
He poured himself another glass of whiskey and stared into the newly made fire. He wanted her with him. He, Lucius Malfoy,
loved Hermione Granger with a passion that he could not explain. He summoned a blanket and tried to sleep.
I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me
~~~~
Hermione lay awake, staring at the ceiling in Draco’s other flat. It was a lavish flat, that she was deeply thankful he had.
She had gotten used to living nicely with Lucius and even though she knew she could handle living with less she didn’t prefer
it. She missed him so much. Missed the way he always wrapped his arms around her possessively at night and the way he kissed
her shoulder when he thought she was sleeping. The more she thought about him the harder it was to hold back the tears.
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life was overrated
But i hope that it gets better as we go
She wanted to run back to him but she knew better. She’d visited Angelique’s grave today and poured her heart out to her
baby. For some reason it was a little comforting to her to talk to Angelique at times. She had left white roses on the grave
and returned to her new home. Hermione hoped she wouldn’t be here long. Life just didn’t seem fair at all, first her mother,
then Angelique, then Remus and now the one person who made her soul sing, Lucius.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
She reached over and grabbed her bottle of scotch and took a deep swig. She coughed lightly and then lay down to try to
sleep.
~~~~~
Lucius tossed and turned on the couch. It was no use. He couldn’t sleep. He tried to think of the better days and how
wonderful they were.
Everything i know,and anywhere i go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
Finally, the alcohol and stress started to pull him into the realm of Morpheus. The last thing he thought of before
succumbing to sleep was that he wanted her in his dreams tonight.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
~~~~~~
A/N: It isn’t beta-d yet. I sent it out but figured y’all had waited long enough through my writers block and holidays...I
went up to Scotland to visit some friends and now that I’m feeling relaxed it’s back to the story
A/N Part II: Fully edited!! Thanks Jen, you’re a lifesaver!! Oh and for all you who wondered out there, realise and behaviour
are the British spellings. I tend to lean towards those, they flow better. Next chapter sooner then the last, I've already started writing it.. Lucius will be a little more in cannon character wise for a bit...
Hermione and Lucius, with hints of Ginny/Remus and Harry/Draco
Rating: PG-13 - NC-17
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the cook... Everything else is JKR’s and Here Without You belongs to 3 Doors Down.
Summary: Lucius remembers the night before after a hangover potion... He decides to go after Hermione and finds out some
surprising things along the way..
Angel - We’ll see about that ring.. For now though Lucius has to go clean up his mess
AncientGirl- Stop dipping into the Absinthe? ? I’m not sure Hermione will agree right now. There might be an explanation to
the Absinthe very soon though.
GapsofMisery- Thank you It wasn’t supposed to go past chapter 1 and then I thought about it and figured why the heck not. I
promise there will be some smut and soon, but can’t say which pairing..
Amethystique- Thanks for the enthusiasm. Your wish is my command.
StoryFreak- Marcus and Oliver?? Now there is a pairing I never thought of. However, that will have to be another story.
As always, I worship the ground my beta JenKM walks on..
~~~~~~~
Lucius had been drinking all night and in the morning he had completely forgotten why he had been drinking with such a
passion. His head was throbbing and the light pouring into his room from the window made it worse. Lucius crawled out of bed
and drew the curtains shut before summoning a hangover potion. He downed the potion swiftly and flopped back into bed.
Everything he had done last night came flooding back to him. His eyes shot open and he saw that the other side of the bed was
empty. He pulled on his dressing gown and hurried toward Hermione’s private study, praying she was there.
The door opened easily, a far cry from the night before, revealing an empty room. A note lay on the desk. Lucius picked up
the parchment and unfolded it.
My dearest Lucius,
Do not seek me out as you will not find me. I need time to myself to think, as do you. What do you want from me
exactly, darling? I do not even know what I want from ‘us’ anymore. It hurts me not being with you. Yet I think it will do us
some good to be apart. I might come home to you soon, Lucius. I might not come home ever. I lived as your faithful companion
and lover for three years and now I do believe it is time for me to reevaluate what I want from life. I tried, Lucius, I
really tried. I told myself that someday you would put a sparkling ring on my finger and beg me to be yours forever and have
your children. I told myself that up until you said you had to ask Draco about everything tonight. I have a sneaking
suspicion that I was just a filler in life for you, my darling, and if I was not, well then what ever I was it was not good
enough to forego Draco’s approval. I am hurting, Lucius, more then I ever have before. More then when I was pregnant with
Remus’ child and miscarried, which was the real reason he left me. Even more then when my mother was killed on Voldemort’s
orders. I love you, my darling, I hope you realise that. I love you more then my precious baby that never got to breathe and
more then my mother who raised me to be the woman I think you might love. Do not try to follow me; it will all be in vain.
All My Love and My Heart,
Hermione
Tears streamed down Lucius’ face. He had screwed up big time and he knew it. He refolded the parchment and left in on the
desk where he had found it. Carefully he closed the study door and walked silently back to his room. Lucius dressed himself
and wrote a quick note to Ginny.
Dear Ginny,
Would it be possible for me to stop in at your home later today? I am in urgent need of your advice as well as your
fiance’s. Just owl me back as soon as you have decided. Hermione left me last night.
Lucius
Lucius whistled for his owl and he tied the parchment to the bird’s leg.
“Fly quickly, it is urgent, Pet.” The bird nodded and flew off.
Lucius set to making himself a small breakfast before moving to his study to read until a message came from Ginny.
~~~~~~
Ginny watched the owl fly straight into the kitchen window and she let out a giggle as it happened. She knew Pet the minute
she saw him. The world’s dumbest owl, owned by Hermione and Lucius naturally. Lucius had let her pick out the owl while he
was shopping with her and Ginny one day. She remembered the pet store owner trying to persuade Hermione to get a different
owl but she would only have Pet. She opened her window and scooped up the half-conscious bird. Placing Pet on the table she
untied the parchment and unrolled it.
“REMUS ”
Remus was in kitchen in a flash, catching Ginny as she fainted. He helped her to a chair and got her a glass of water.
“What’s the matter, Ginny?” His face showed genuine concern as he noticed Pet lying on the table.
“Hermione left Lucius. He wants to come over and talk. Oh Remus, she left him. That poor man.” Ginny could only cry.
Ideas as to why Hermione had left Lucius raced through Ginny’s mind, but none seemed appropriate.
“I’ll write a quick reply and send our owl as I have a feeling that Pet cannot fly anytime soon. Ginny, please don’t cry,
we’ll sort this out. I promise.” Remus kissed her forehead and went to send a quick response to Lucius.
~~~~
Lucius apparated right outside the complex where Ginny’s flat was. He rang the buzzer and Ginny let him in quickly.
“Oh Lucius, I’m so sorry, I had no idea,” she whispered pulling him into a hug.
“It is alright. Did Pet leave yet?”
Ginny giggled and shook her head no. She took Lucius’ hand and led him into the living room.
“Now, tell us everything you know and we’ll get this sorted out.”
Lucius recounted the entire story to Ginny and Remus, while trying to keep some composure about him. When he got to the
letter he was crying.
“I had no clue that she wanted children that desperately. I didn’t even know she had miscarried at all. You knew, Remus, why
didn’t you tell me?” Lucius eye’s shone with tears.
“SHE WHAT? ? REMUS ” Ginny turned her head to her fiancé, looking infuriated.
“She miscarried while she was with me. It was a baby girl. She wouldn’t tell anyone, Ginny. I had to keep it a secret from
everyone. Literally everyone, including her father, who suspected something. He knew after she miscarried in his house when
she tripped over boxes of her mothers things and fell down a flight of stairs. She was five months along when it happened. We
took her to a muggle hospital and the doctor said there was nothing he could do because there was too much blood loss and
trauma to her stomach. Angelique Marie Lupin is buried in a quite little glen near Hogwarts. I’m sorry; I wasn’t allowed to
tell you.”
Lucius had stopped crying and was staring at Lucius now.
“Why did you leave her?” His tone was cold and a bit unnerving.
“She wanted to get pregnant again. Angelique was an accident. I didn’t want to be a father then. I was still recovering from
the war and extremely terrified of passing Lycanthropy onto the baby. That was before Snape discovered that it was not
possible, mind you, andI didn’t want to do that to an innocent. So I left her. Made up a thousand excuses and broke her
heart. I knew she would be better off without me anyway.”
“Remus Lupin. I am appalled by your behaviour. Why if I didn’t love you I’d smack you. No, I think I will still smack you.”
Ginny was angry and Remus tried to avoid her hand but it connected with the side of his face anyway. It stung, but he knew he
deserved it.
“I’m sorry Ginny. I really am.” He hung his head in shame.
She placed a soft kiss on his cheek before turning to Lucius.
“I’ve got no clue where she would go. Best to hope that she’ll come home. Maybe talk to Draco?”
Lucius nodded and made a move to leave.
“Oh no you don’t. Sit down. I’m making you a cup of tea and some lunch. You’re not going anywhere until you’re calmed down.
The last thing I need is you splinching yourself and having to explain it to Hermione.” Ginny stared Lucius back into sitting
down.
He nodded and let Ginny make him lunch.
~~~~
Draco wasn’t expecting his father to show up at his flat as soon as he did. He had sent Hermione away that morning after she
had begged him to help her find a way to fix her mistakes.
He let him come in and let him cry on his shoulder.
“Well, father, you royally botched this one up. Now what are you going to do?”
Lucius stared at the floor numbly. He couldn’t think anymore.
“Since you’re going to sit there and stare at the ugly carpet. I have an announcement to make. Harry and I were married in a
civil ceremony last week. I’m gay.”
Lucius’ eyes shot up to his son. He looked in him in shock.
“You what?”
“Got married. To Harry Potter.”
“I see.” He noticed the plain gold band on his son’s left hand. “And why wasn’t I invited?”
“Because we didn’t tell anyone except Hermione and Ginny. They were our witnesses.”
“I’m your father. You could have told me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d handle it well. I love him, Dad.”
Lucius nodded and went back to staring at the carpet.
“She’s not here. I think you need to think on how much you need her before I even consider helping you. Your best bet is to
think about it tonight and then maybe talk to Molly Weasley tomorrow about how to fix things. You need to find her in good
time. You messed up old man. I’m not cleaning this one up, it’s all you.”
Draco hugged his father and then showed him to the door.
“I mean it. Think on it and figure it out. She needs you and you need her. You need her more than she needs you.”
Lucius let the tears fall as he said goodbye to Draco and apparated home.
~~~~
Lucius lay in bed that night looking at picture albums that Hermione had created of their years together. He was glad there
was a protective cover over them because he couldn’t stop crying if he tried. He traced the pictures of her lovingly and
sighed as he downed his fifth glass of fire whiskey. Lucius dug through her CDs until he found the 3 Doors Down cd he loved.
He finally got her stereo to work in the den and he found the track and hit play.
A hundred days have made me older since the last time that I've saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face
He poured himself another glass of whiskey and stared into the newly made fire. He wanted her with him. He, Lucius Malfoy,
loved Hermione Granger with a passion that he could not explain. He summoned a blanket and tried to sleep.
I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me
~~~~
Hermione lay awake, staring at the ceiling in Draco’s other flat. It was a lavish flat, that she was deeply thankful he had.
She had gotten used to living nicely with Lucius and even though she knew she could handle living with less she didn’t prefer
it. She missed him so much. Missed the way he always wrapped his arms around her possessively at night and the way he kissed
her shoulder when he thought she was sleeping. The more she thought about him the harder it was to hold back the tears.
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life was overrated
But i hope that it gets better as we go
She wanted to run back to him but she knew better. She’d visited Angelique’s grave today and poured her heart out to her
baby. For some reason it was a little comforting to her to talk to Angelique at times. She had left white roses on the grave
and returned to her new home. Hermione hoped she wouldn’t be here long. Life just didn’t seem fair at all, first her mother,
then Angelique, then Remus and now the one person who made her soul sing, Lucius.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
She reached over and grabbed her bottle of scotch and took a deep swig. She coughed lightly and then lay down to try to
sleep.
~~~~~
Lucius tossed and turned on the couch. It was no use. He couldn’t sleep. He tried to think of the better days and how
wonderful they were.
Everything i know,and anywhere i go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
Finally, the alcohol and stress started to pull him into the realm of Morpheus. The last thing he thought of before
succumbing to sleep was that he wanted her in his dreams tonight.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
~~~~~~
A/N: It isn’t beta-d yet. I sent it out but figured y’all had waited long enough through my writers block and holidays...I
went up to Scotland to visit some friends and now that I’m feeling relaxed it’s back to the story
A/N Part II: Fully edited!! Thanks Jen, you’re a lifesaver!! Oh and for all you who wondered out there, realise and behaviour
are the British spellings. I tend to lean towards those, they flow better. Next chapter sooner then the last, I've already started writing it.. Lucius will be a little more in cannon character wise for a bit...