Hogwarts Whores

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters are owned by JK Rowling.... All songs randomly sung at intervals are not owned by us.... Animes characters that might appear are not owned by us..... The only things owned by us are the Boblanders and their obsession with the most oddest of things....

For more information on Boblanders, refer to our author page, and scroll down to Preferred Reading section type thingy, since I don\'t know what it is called....

This story will not be updated regularly like most would hope, for the fact that it is written by many people..... Many moronic people... *points to friends*


Three....... COW POWER!!!!!!!!


Somewhere in the mist of the night, a single lonely soul is walking through the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
\"Geez, now that they all went to bed, it sure is boring,\" sighed Damion as he walked the halls in the middle of the night. To his left, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. He decided to check out what it was that caught his attention. Walking around was a girl with short brown hair. She was still dressed in day clothes, consisting of blue jeans and an orange shirt.
The girl in question looked up and saw that he was watching her. To her surprise, he looked like The-Boy-Who-Lived, but with differences to him. He had blue eyes, wore no glasses, his hair was long and black, but not messy, and he had no scar on his forehead. She decided not to dwell on it too much and walked away.
A few minutes later, Damion saw her walk by him again. Thinking she went the wrong way he said nothing, and returned to his state of boredom. Not even five minutes later she strolled by again, this time he decided to talk to her. \"Are you lost or something? You\'ve walked by here three times now.\"
The girl looked at him and answered, \"You look oddly familiar to me. Have we met before?\"
Little question marks popped up around his head, as he stared at her. \"Not that I can re-call.\"
\"Oh, okay.\" She shrugged her shoulders, and walked away. He waited there for her to come back, but she didn\'t. He decided to ask the others about her in the morning.


xxxxxxmooxxxxxx


\"Harry, Harry,\" shaking him awake was all he could think of now.
\"Go away, I\'m trying to sleep,\" He rolled over and covered his head with the pillow.
Ron grabbed the pillow off his head, and threw to the side. \"But we have to get to breakfast so we can get our schedules.\"
\"Fine Ron!\" He threw the blankets off and finally climbed out of bed. \"But why bother, we\'ll probably have double potions with the Slytherins first, like every other time.\"
\"I know, but Hermione told me to get you up.\"


xxxxxxmooxxxxxx


\"It took you two long enough\" Hermione was standing at the bottom of the stairs to the boys dorms, hands on hips.
\"Sorry Mione\' but he wouldn\'t get up!\'
\"Harry it is important to be up, this is our last year here, and we need to be ready.\"
\"Sorry Hermione, I\'m just tired today is all.\"
\"Well let\'s go, I have something I needed to tell you anyway.\" The two followed her out of the portrait.
\"So what did you need to tell us?\"
\"Last night when I was out, I saw Professor Richards standing outside of the tower.\"
\"Well maybe she was checking the castle for anyone out late,\" stated Ron, \"I mean that\'s what the other professors do.\"
\"Yeah I know Ron, but then a woman and a man were talking to her. They were dressed entirely in black, and they wore capes so I couldn\'t see the faces.\"
\"It was probably Snape and McGonagal she was talking to, why are you so paranoid?\"
\"It was not them Ron, they wouldn\'t have their faces covered. Besides, she referred to them as Dark One\'s. I think they might be spies for You-Know-Who.\"
\"Hey Hermione, did she act like the Professor was her servant?\"
\"No, why?\"
\"When I was out, I ran into Professor Pussy, and a woman dressed in a black cape, who she called Dark One, but she was alone. They were talking about some plan, and not to touch me by order of Professor Cow.\"
\"Like I said, I think they might be spies for You-Know-Who, but I am going to watch them more closely, just in case.\"


xxxxxxmooxxxxxx


\"Bob...\"
\"NO! I\'m sleeping....\"
\"But your hair is in my food\" Tado said picking it up and moving it away from her plate.
\"SO!\"
\"SO! I don\'t want to eat your hair!\"
\"That\'s not the point!\"
\"Okay, then what is the point?\"
\"Like I\'m actually going to know?\" Tado just shook her head at Bob, and pushed the plate of food away.


xxxxxxmooxxxxxx

As everyone was enjoying their breakfast, the doors of the Great Hall suddenly banged open and a stream of rather colorful cussing filled the hall. A violent-looking girl in an Eldorado bowling hoodie, a really short skirt with combat boots that have chibi white angel wings on them, was shoved into the hall. The Ministry of Magic idiot that brought her in was hiding behind the door. \"Professor Dumbledore, here\'s the new transfer student/teacher from the US you requested.\" he squeaked. The girl shot a cat-eyed glare at the Ministry freak and turned around to flip him off.
\"PIXIE!!!!\" Doodle was on her feet in seconds, calling from the front of the hall, jumping up and down with Coco\'s head in a death grip.
\"Hey guys!\" The girl in question, now understood to be Pixie Stix, called in a gravely voice. \"Hey, uh, can somebody do something about these cuffs? They\'re cutting into my skin!\"
\"Don\'t wanna!\" Bob yelled from her seat, which she was hanging upside down from.
\"Please Bob? Have I not been a faithful servant to you?\"
\"Uh....I dunno?\" Bob stayed in that position staring off into a void.
\"I\'ll take them off, only if I can keep them.\" Tiki said, while prying Doodle off of Coco\'s neck.
\"WEE!!!!!!\" Bob shouted as she fell off her chair and landing on her head. \"THAT WAS FUN! I WANNA DO IT AGAIN!\"
\"NO!\" Tado grabbed Bob by the hand and forced her to sit in the chair. Normally she wouldn\'t have done that because Bob is always amusing when she is like that, but right now it was embarrassing.
Tiki picked up her wand, after beating Doodle off Coco with it, and released Pixie from her restraints.
\"Thanks. Now, what\'s shakin\', yo?\" She walked up to the table and handed the cuffs to Tiki who placed them in her robes for later use.
\"Uh.....\" Bob was still off in her own little world.
\" Right? Now why did I get ambushed from my bowling meet and shipped to England in a cardboard box? Was it about the sugar? I swear, Majin Bob made me do it!\"
\"It\'s nothing of the sort, Miss Stix. As a new student enrolled in our school you will also have the task of assisting you fellow friends in teaching classes. You have come highly recommended.\" Doodle was waving a stack of papers around, throwing loose pages all over the place. Pixie placed her hand over her face and started groaning. \"You will attend classes normally. Now, you must be sorted.\" McGonagal came into the hall with the sorting hat in her hand, and walked up to the teachers table. \"Now place it upon your head and you will be paced into your proper house.\"
She stood there with the hat upon her head, and started cussing.
\"YOU FORGOT TO SAY FUCK!\" Bob yelled to her.
\"SLYTHERIN!\" the hat yelled out, while said house was applauding their newest house mate.
\"Stupid hat!\" she said as she threw it across the hall. \"I am only questionable right now!\" Bob and the others were laughing at her, while the rest were staring at her with strange looks on their faces.
\"MY LOVE!!!\" Bob screamed, as the others looked to each other with an understanding of how bad this will end. From the end of the entrance hall walked in a boy about 5\'8, with long black hair. He wore a pair of tight, black, hip-hugging leather pants, and a long-sleeved black fishnet shirt.
\"Hello Bob\" he said, with a smirk on his face.
\"You\'ve come to play?\"
\"Maybe,\" he said as he leaned over the front of the table, and kissed her on the lips.
\"Hey that\'s not fair!\" Tiki shouted from her seat, that she moved between Coco and Doodle. \"I want one too!\" He walked over to Tiki and gave her a kiss on the lips.
\"No one wants you here, so leave\" Tado shouted.
\"Oh what a pity...That\'s not what you said last night!\"
\"Shut up, you cock sucking bastard!\"
\"Well at least I can get some.\" He said smiling at her.
\"I SO DON\'T WANT TO KNOW THIS!\" Coco, grabbed a pair of ear-plugs from her pocket, and placed them in her ears.
\"So what brings you here Damion?\" Bob asked with a serious look on her face. \"Does PB know you\'re here?\"
\"Uhhh...No...But that\'s beside the point.\"
\"Okay, then what is it?\"
\"Last night I was walking around and ran into a very strange girl.\"
\"It was probably Bob.\"
\"No it wasn\'t. She had short brown hair, and was wearing jeans and an orange shirt. She said she thought she might have seen me before. Do you know who it is?\"
\"Was said person walking around as if lost?\" Asked Tado, who was pre-occupied by Bob, who was about to be killed by Snape, for tying pink ribbons in his hair.
\"Yeah do you know her?\"
\"Okay...Who brought Jojo here? She\'s supposed to be in Japan!\" Tado was staring at the others who seemed to have found their plates quite amusing.
\"I DID!\" said Bob, who was jumping up and down on Snape\'s chair, waving her hand around frantically.
\"And why did you bring her here Bob?\"
\"Because....Uh...I can\'t remember....But Taka Love will be here too!\"
\"OOHH! Really?\"
\"NO MINE!!!!\" Bob jumped up onto the table and started throwing biscuits at everyone. \"WHEN THE WORLD IS MINE, YOUR DEATH SHALL BE QUICK AND PAINLESS!\"*
\"NO HE ISN\'T!\" Tado grabbed the pancakes off her plate and threw them at Bob.
\"THIS MEANS WAR!!!!\" Bob grabbed a chair and started chasing Tado around the hall with it.
Tado ran up to Doodle and grabbed a flame-thrower from her pack back, and aimed it at Bob.
\"Stupid, It\'s unplugged still!\"
\"Dammit! Plug it back in!\"
\"NO!\" Bob threw the chair in a random direction, causing it to hit a wall and break.
\"Here.\"
\"YAY! GUILLOTINE!\"
\"NO NOT THE GUILLOTINE! Wait, I though Karyan had the... OH SHIT!\" Tado ran behind Tiki, knowing that they wouldn\'t cause any harm to her.

xxxxxxwhackxxxxxx

When the students entered the WSE classroom, they found Coco pacing and muttering to herself. There was a slight change in her clothes today. Instead of her shirt with that Rath character, she had on a black T-shirt with a red-haired samurai. Below it was the words Rurouni Kenshin.
“I can’t believe they tricked me into teaching sex Ed! I thought they were joking! Those bakas! I’m going to give them a good whack on the head with my mallet when I see them!” In a flash, a mallet appeared. In one swift movement, she proceeded to swing the mallet with such force that she broke her desk. Coco sighed and turned around. “Oh.. Uh…hello class. I’m Professor Grim. Welcome to Wizard Sex Education.” She blushed when she spoke of the last part. Mentally she was plotting revenge against Bob. She of course was the ring-leader in this.
Hermione raised her hand. “Professor Grim, are you feeling alight?”
“Fine, fine. Just a bit of stress,” she replied. To herself she added, \'In the form of some insane people I made friends with for some strange reason.\' She looked out at the students who looked back at her expectantly. ‘Kami, what do I do!?’ Resisting the urge to go storming the castle to kill her friends, she decided the best action to take was to use the textbooks. That is what they are there for right?
“All right, let’s open our books to chapter one and…” She faded off. Coco stared at the book in horror. The students, those who actually did what she had asked stared in horror as well. That included Harry and Hermione. The first chapter of the book was titled Yaoi. The students had no clue what it meant but the picture cleared up the meaning. It was two boys in the nude, making out. A pause of silence filled the air.
\"Uh... Professor?\" asked one of the students. \"What exactly does Yaoi mean?\"
\"Yaoi is Japanese for... uh...two...gay boys....\" Then… “BOB! DOODLE! TIKI! TADO!” She grabbed her mallet and raced out of the room before anyone could understand what had happened.


xxxxxxmeowxxxxxx

Tado was running as fast as she could to get to her first class of the day. \"Damn Damion! I bet Karyan purposely sent him to make me late!\" She looked around the hallway and saw that it was empty. Looking at her watch she realized that class had started 10 minutes ago. Running as fast as she could, she finally made it to her class. She opened the door to the classroom, and found all the students staring at her unexpected guest, who was waving at her. She walked over to the desk her guest was sitting on, and looked at the inappropriately dressed half cat, half girl was on. \"What the hell are you doing here?\" She yelled, as she smacked the girl upside the head with the closest object she could find, a chair she grabbed from under a student.
Hermione jumped up from her seat to explain the situation to the teacher, but she was stopped in her tracks by a hand put up in front of her face.
\"You don\'t need to explain anything Granger. I know who she is, but I am wondering why she is here? Now go back to your seat, I don\'t need your presents near me.\"
With a turn on her heel, Hermione went back to her seat, grumbling inappropriate things to herself. When she sat down an object was thrown at her, from across the room. It was a condom with tiny writing on it. It said, \"Zip the lip, or lose the lip, It\'s your choice!\"
The girl jumped off the desk and started pulling on Tado\'s robes. \"HI MOMMY! I MISSED YOU! You know you\'re 10 minutes late for class!\"
\"How many times do I have to tell you! I AM NOT YOUR MOMMY!\"
\"But I missed you mommy!\"
Tado grabbed her tail, and pulled her off. \"I thought Bob gave you specific orders to stay at the shop?\"
\"But is was so boring. First PB started yelling at Moose and I. Then she started telling us what to do. Then she chased us around with one of Coco\'s mallets. Then she screamed profanities at us, so we left!\"
\"Out of curiosity, did Moose come to the castle also?\"
\"YUP! She went to go find...I can\'t remember...But anyways...He\'s cute!\" She started pointing her finger at Malfoy, who was trying to inch away from her.
\"Stop flirting with my students and go back to the shop!\" SHe pulled the girl towards the window and threw her out of it.
\"YOU SUCK TADO!\" She disappeared from view before she hit the ground.
\"I really need to keep her away from Damion.\" As she sighed inwardly.
\"Well there goes the entertainment!\" Some random student yelled.
Tado had turned around to come face to face with Bob. Jumping back in shock, \"BOB! What the hell are you doing here? I thought you had a class to teach?\"
\"I do, but Snapie kicked me out, saying that the cauldrons aren\'t supposed to be used to start bon-fires.\"
\"So why the hell are you in my class?\" When in actuality she was thinking, \'Stupid Snape, ruining a good fire!\'
\"I wanted to watch you try and teach someone something\"
\"What do you mean by try?\" She said while glaring daggers at Bob.
Shrugging her shoulders, \"Well we all know your teaching is about as good as a monkeys.\"
\"HEY! Don\'t bring Jojo into this! Besides, I have a helper in this class!\" Bob fell to the floor laughing. \"ARE YOU DONE YET?\"
\"I dunno?\"
\"Oh Dende...Shoot me now!\"
\"OKAY!\"
\"NOT YOU!\" She grabbed a book and threw it at Bob.\"
\"HA HA! YOU MISSED!\"
\"Stupid Bob!\"
\"Anyways, while we are discussing your intelligence level, who would help you with the class?\"
A student in the front row stood up, \"I would!\"
\"It\'s a Pixie!\" Looking at Pixie with mild interest, \"I feel for you students, I really do!\"
\"Hey Bob!\" Tado said while holding up an object. \"Look! Shinny object!\" She threw the object across the room.
\"OOOO!\" Bob chased after it. When she picked it up she started petting it chanting \'My precious\'.


xxxxxxmeowxxxxxx


Bob had now made residence in Tado\'s chair with her precious, and Tado was cleaning up the mess behind her desk, that Bob made jumping over it.
Tado turned her attention to the class, \" Ok class . . . \" Just as she was starting a note shaped like a butterfly came flying into the room. She caught the not as Bob was ready to pounce on it. \"Okay Bob, I need you to watch the class and don’t do anything....that bad!\"
Tado walked out of the room and headed outside, to find Coco waiting for her. \"So you were the one that is having the big problem?!\"
Coco sighed, \"Yes but can we get to the point ... there is no way I can teach WSE!!\"
Tado was hunched over laughing. \"Ok, well neither can I! I just know a little more then you do!\"
Coco was shaking with anger \"And why is this so amusing!? I can\'t teach the class and neither can you! So who\'s going to?\"
Some time later they both decided on what to tell Bob.....
Bob,
We are changing classes. Coco is going to teach DADA. Tado will CoMC! And Bob you will teach WSE. Tado is taking Hagrid’s class because he is doing such a horrible job teaching it. So you get to tell Dumbie for us!
Have Fun,
Coco and Tado!
Tado looked at her as if Coco lost it! \"How the tell are we supposed to give her this!? Don\'t you know trying to find her, will result in the others being there!\"
\"Well good luck!\" Coco than ran down the hall, as Tado prepared to enter back into her class....
When she entered the room....Bob was doodling some very interesting pictures on the board, which seemed to animate themselves. Most of the students were looking at these pictures in shock....Pixie was rolling around on the floor laughing her ass off. Tado walked back to the front of the class as if nothing was wrong. Tado clears her thought, \"Now as I was going to say is class my name is Professor Pussy but call me Prof. Tado or Tado! I will get to know you all soon enough so no roll call but all of you always need to be on time. And I will know when someone is not here and if you are late...so don’t try it!\" She moved over to her desk, and sat on it.
\"HEY THATS NOT FAIR!!!!! You wouldn\'t let me sit on it!\"
\"Well duh! I\'m the teacher and you\'re not!\" She stuck her tongue at Bob. \"Ok class your first assignment it to think of the worse creature in both this world and the muggle world. I will give you all five minutes to think about it.\" She turned her attention back to Bob, who was now drawing a picture of The Dark One pushing Tado into a cauldron of boiling cheese. After the five minutes were up, Tado was smiling quite evily at the class.
\"OK times up! What is the most terrorizing creature?\"
Malfoy spook up and voices what he thought it could be, \"What does this have to do with DADA?\"
Tado looks directly at him,\" Well I think it does because you might have to defend your self from it! And Malfoy don’t speak out again!\"
Pixie threw a condom at him with \"QUIET!!!\" written on it in big silver Sharpie letters. Draco turned bright red and discreetly shoved it into is pocket for later use. Pixie grinned at him.
Bob randomly found a guillotine in the class room and threw it at Tado. \"Be nice Tado! He can\'t help the fact that he was born blonde!\"

Tado ignore her, \"I bet most of you thought of Voldemort and Dementors!\" smiling watching most of the class shudder at the mere mention of his name!
Pixie joins in, \"But they are nothing compared to some other creatures out there in both worlds!\"
Tado nods her head, \"Have any of you ever heard of a group called The Nerds?\" Some of the students laugh at the name but no one answered the question.
Pixie shakes her head, \"Of course there not going to know of the group . . . but that was a good group Tado! They caused a lot of trouble until there leader was killed!\"
Tado starts walking around the room, \"Yes they where good until Warren was killed! But I love the way he died! A witch turned his whole body inside out and drove a pullet into his heart ever so slowly!\" smiling evily picturing the torture.
Pixie laughs, \"And all they did was accidentally kill the witch\'s girlfriend!\"
Tado nodded in head in agreement. \"And she would have killed the other two, but they escaped to Mexico.\"
Pixie walking around the classroom, \"To bad Andrew and Jonathan where idiots and went back there to try and resurrect The One\'s henchmen!\"
Tado stopped walking because she was laughing to hard. \"That was great! Andrew killed Jonathan to try to do it, but Jonathan didn\'t have enough blood so it didn\'t work! And it was too bad Andrew had to go on the side of good after that!\"
Hermione\'s hand shot up, and Tado was the only one to notice, because Pixie was picking on Malfoy again. \"Yes Granger?\"
\"How come I have never heard of any of these things you are talking about!\"
\"Well Granger, not everything is written in a book, and they are from the muggle world.\"
\"Yep and not everyone knows about them either!\" Pixie shouted from across the room. Hermione raised her hand again.
Tado sighed. \"Yes?\"
\"Then how do you two know about them?\"
Tado smiled. \"Oh we have our ways!\" She took a drink of her soda that just appeared on the desk. She set it back on the desk and it disappears. Tado walks next to Pixie and whispers, \"Now comes the fun part!\"
Pixie stopped her torture to Malfoy and was smiling. She turned around and with a flick of her wand about a dozen lit candles appeared all around the room. Tado took out her wand and closed out the light from the windows. This caused most of the students to jump and look around trying to figure out what was going on. Tado cleared her throat and all the students turn there attention to her. \"But of course those are nothing compared to what we are going to talk about next!\" Pixie falls back into the darkness as Tado is talking. Afterwards, she fell back into the darkness also. Both of them moved in to the shadows so no one could see them.
Seeming to glide in and out of the darkness filling the room Tado smirked at the uncertain faces of her students. \"Some say that the Dememtors are the vilest creatures to walk the earth. That only Voldemort comes close to surpassing them.\" Her smirk growing even more wicked at the shudders and whimpers they gave at the mention of He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named.
\"Well they\'re wrong.\" Pixie whispered slowly extinguishing candles as she circled the large class room.
Chuckling Tado nodded in agreement. \"The most feared creatures to walk the earth are not the Dementors.\"
Standing behind a dying candle Pixie was cast in shadows and seemed distorted in the eyes of her students. Her form wavering in the flames and her eyes glowing with a sinister light. \"Their a group so secret that no one even knows of their existence.\" She cooed. \"An ancient order sworn to uphold the old ways of true mischief. A group of six woman so evil and so demented and so insane their names alone could shake the lands, tear thunder from the sky, cast gods from their throne, and suck the very magic from your chilling blood.\" Thunder boomed outside the fogged windows as she blew out the candle.
\"They... are the BobLanders.\" Tado continued. \"Lead by their own god of mayhem. The great BobGod. The have roamed the world since before the dawn of time. Unchanging, unflinching in their ways, unremorseful of the horror they inflict on others.\" Slamming her hands down on Draco\'s desk she shocked him out of his sleeping state. He looked up fearfully into her swirling eyes. Swearing that he could see his own death in them. \"Detention Mr. Malfoy. Tonight. Seven o\' clock.\" She purred into his ear.
\"They sweep into your lives like a summer breeze.\" Flowed Pixie picking up the last candle. \"Sweet, caring, pleasant.\" She said tartly. \"They take you in with kindness and innocent charm. All the while deceiving and plotting against you.\"
\"Until finally. . . finally... They Strike!\" Again Tado surged up behind Draco grasping his shoulder as he screamed shrilly.
\"And you are no more.\" Blowing out the candle Pixie let the darkness consume the large room and the only sound was of the storm raging outside. The only light an inhuman glow ammoniating from the Professors eyes. For a few minutes the room is dead silent the only think you hear is the storming raging outside.
Then finally the student fall out of there shock. The first one to ask them a question is no one other then Granger, \"But Professors if they are so terrifying and not seen by any living soul they how do you two know about them?\"
Both Tado and Pixie head to the door with evil smiles on there faces. Both Pixie and Tado answer at the same time, \"That is because we are them!\" They both leave the room as a great big lightening bolt strikes right outside the window. The class sits there in silence. And the next 15 minutes the class gradually empties out.

xxxxxxgobblexxxxxx

Pixie walked aimlessly through the corridors, not sure of where she was going but certain that she\'d get there eventually. Her room was supposedly down in the dungeons with the other Slytherins, but she couldn\'t find the way and it was beginning to bother her. She turned a random corner and came face-to-face with the one person she would always love to see: Sanura. \"Lost?\" Sanura asked in a slight purr.
\"A little.\" Pixie said, extending her hand to Sanura. Sanura took the proffered hand with a delighted half-purr half-coo. \"Do you think you could help me?\" Pixie asked, using her grip on Sanura\'s hand to pull the other girl against her. Sanura giggled. \"Quit it. Of course I can. C\'mon!\" Sanura said, turning and leading Pixie up the corridor in the direction she\'d been heading.
After a couple seemingly-random turns and unbearably long corridors, Sanura stopped before a large painting. \"Here we are. Home sweet home.\" Sanura said, releasing Pixie\'s hand. Pixie pouted at the loss of contact, but a smile quickly spread across her face when Sanura leaned over and whispered in her ear. \"If you ever need a helping hand, I\'m always ready and willing!\"
Pixie looked up at the portrait adorning her door. It was a picture of Duo with his hair down, swept over one shoulder. The boy was in the nude, suspended in midair by chains and he had loose bandages looped over his eyes and mouth. There was an open, bloody wound on his chest in the shape of an Egyptian ankhwith an arrow through the loop. The effect of the picture was amplified by the fact that the bound pilot was moaning and struggling against his bindings. Pixie giggled and clapped in delight when she laid eyes on the perfect portrait. Then she remembered that she needed her assigned password to get in. She wasted a good five minutes digging around in her bag before she finally retrieved the minuscule slip of parchment with an over dramatic \"Aha, I\'ve found you, you elusive little pain in the hindquarters!\" Then she turned to the portrait again, her brain going numb for another moment before she managed to say her password: \"Elusive Vampiric Deity\".
The portrait swung forward, revealing a room Pixie never thought she\'d live to see. The room was fairly small with several doors leading off of it. It was black and blood red, just like she\'d always dreamed. The rosewood four-poster canopy bed was shrouded in layers upon layers of sheer black and crimson fabrics. The shag carpet was black and the huge flatscreen TV in the corner was the perfect size for watching anime Dvds and Buffy reruns. There was a PS2 and a Gamecube hooked up to the TV, things her parents had promised her but never bought her. Pixie slowly made her way across the room, drew back the curtains to her bed, and found piles upon pile of black and blood red silk pillows piled on two large, green satin pillows with silver S\'s embroidered on them. But the best part was the Kumagoro plushie sitting in the middle of the pillow pile. Pixie squealed and pounced on, carrying it off with her as she explored the first of three doors. The first door led to an enormous walk-in closet full of black, blood red, fishnet, leather, lace, and vinyl, the essentials of Pixie\'s wardrobe. There was even a huge, standing jewelry box with a whole drawer dedicated to her black nail polishes. She slid a few more rings on her fingers and left the closet.
The next door revealed a beautiful bathroom. The walls, sink, claw-footed tub, and toilet were black. The shag carpeting and the rather conspicuous his and his bath towels hanging on the bar were the color of fresh blood from a deep wound: dark blood red. The embroidery on the towels was black and there were black lights in the vanity mirror above the sink, not that they worked here at Hogwarts... The tiles in the shower were a checkerboard of crimson and black, the shower fixtures were black, and the glass shower door had been frosted red, making it look like it was covered in blood splatter. Pixie\'s grin took on a slightly evil glint as she turned and left the bathroom.
The final door leading out of the bedroom brought Pixie to her own view of heaven. The room was a miniature library, decorated with stained rosewood and black leather furniture. There was even a small fireplace on the far side of the room that even now had a warm fire burning in it. The rest of the walls were covered in bookshelves, all of which were packed with books. There were even some books on a small stained rosewood table near one of the chairs in the middle of the room. The shag carpeting was black, just like in the bedroom. Pixie squealed and did a little dance, then dashed out of the room to change for bed.
When Pixie re-emerged from the closet, she wore a nearly see-through black lace nightgown over black, low-rise, bikini-style underwear. She\'d already brushed and re-braided her hair for bed and was walking sleepily to the bed.
\"My, don\'t we look innocent?\" a voice sneered.
Pixie groaned. She couldn\'t believe this. She turned an icy glare on the intruder. \"Bugger off, Damion. I\'m tired.\" she growled, turning back toward her bed.
Damion only took another step into the room, grinning haughtily. \"Ooh, not very friendly!\" Damion pushed.
Pixie snapped. She tossed her Kumagoro through the curtains onto her bed. \"Look, I\'m tired. I\'m cranky. I\'m not in the mood for you right now. Normally, I\'d be more than happy to entertain you, but I\'m exhausted, maybe even a little jet-lagged from being transported across an ocean in a card-board box. Go bug Tiki.\" Pixie growled, her gaze growing unnaturally dark and stray sparks of electricity inciting her hair to frizz.
Damion sneered and, with a snap, disappeared.
Pixie smiled weakly, exhausted out of her mind. Then she climbed into bed. She was out before she hit the pillow, dreaming of yummy yaoi sex.


Author:........ Uh..... *thinks*.... Well you can review if you actually made it this far..... You don\'t have to, we only do when it is life and death of a FanFic to do so! If you would like to flame us for something, go ahead, we\'ll just laugh in your face, and we need no beta, we can actually do pretty well with as many people creating the story, to find any mistakes we might have made.... BYE BYE!!!! *waves*

PS!!!!!! This story is completely considered Slash! I tried to do the things to make it so, but the thingy didnt want to respond to my requests. So anything that could possibly be considered perverted, ab-normal, disgusting, disturbing, and frowned upon in our society will most likely be in here....