Never Said Goodbye

Disclaimer: Own nothing. Not making money, either.

Warning: I think things might start to reveal themselves more here. I wasn't going for anything like what I'm going for now. I just wanted to write a drabble to deal, but this story is developing into something much more. It looks like I might be doing some nasty things, but my review responses will reflect that.

On a side note: Before any rumors get started, I'd like to clear something up. I deleted a review from here and yes, it was negative. I would not, and will never, delete a negative review if it is constructive and falls within the guidelines I have set for reviews. BTW, this is the only story I've EVER set guidelines for besides 'don't flame'. This particular reviewer felt it necessary to basically tell me that people couldn't enjoy my story because I had put a personal note about my miscarriage in there. I specifically asked that the aspect of my life I was sharing be left alone. The notes of sympathy are much appreciated and that's fine. It's not necessary and please don't think that I'm fishing for pity. Trust me, it won't make things better anyway, but it is nice. I'm not upset or bummed if someone doesn't mention it. I'm not falling to pieces if someone does. Originally it started out more as a warning to not expect anything too good, literature wise, because the whole thing was based on emotion. That has changed.

For anyone who did read that particular review(and no, I won't reveal who wrote it. I consider that petty.) it's very important that you know they were wrong. Publishing houses everywhere love when something happens that can slam some personal moments from an author into a book. People care more and when they care more, they buy more. Journalism operates much the same way. Remember one of the top rules of journalism. "If it bleeds, it leads." Never be afraid to put your reasonings out there for your writing. They are yours alone and it goes to show how authentic things are in your story. Okay, on to the reviews and then the story. I promise!

Note to reviewers: If you left an email or if you're a registered member and your email is listed I will add you to a list so that you will receive email updates when I update the story you reviewed. Nobody will see your addy and you won't see theirs. You'll only see mine on the letter you get. If you don't want to be informed, that's fine. Just let me know. :-)

And BTW, a lot of the reviews that came in were while I was posting the last chapter so that's why you're being answered in this chapter.

Amessis: Thanks so much. I feel sorry for Draco, too. I think that I was more itching to write something HP because there is a guy in one of my classes that looks just like a rugged hot Draco Malfoy. I have trouble sitting still every time I go in there. :-)

andie: I hope you enjoy this update. :-)

Caro: Yes, Draco and Harry both overstepped some bounds, but they made the rules. I don't think that they realized how far they each would go, though. Eventually they'll talk about it, but I can't promise it will be pleasant. That's what makes it fun, though. It keeps me guessing, too.

Zelphie: I'm sorry that it won't be a Lucius/Draco consensual pairing. I'm still not sure if it will be a pairing at all. It might be abuse or it might not. I'm not being vague, but I just love figuring things out as I go so it's an adventure for me as well. I guess we'll find out together. :-)

Yes, I'm happily married. I have a daughter, too. I love to write and this site seemed to be so open and great. I really felt that I could do what I wanted and be as crazy or as serious as I wanted with no expectations one way or the other. It's also a great place to get some constructive criticism. Someone told me on a KP story that I'm doing that maybe I should have put more emotion into a chapter. I looked at it, realized he was completely right, and changed the whole thing. I love doing those things.

thrnbrooke: I'm so glad that you're enjoying this story. I'm not sure what's going on between Lucius and Draco and I don't know if you'll find out in this chapter, but you might. I'm definitely in a writing mood. I hope you continue to review. You're really making me feel good about myself. :-)

Anonymous: Thank you for your comments. Harry and Ron will be eating crow soon enough. I promise.



Dessert seemed to be devoured quickly and Harry invited everyone back to the sitting room for nightcaps. Draco knew he wasn't included in the invite and began to gather up dishes. Snape, Lucius, Blaise, and Ron quickly headed out with Harry. Pansy, Hermoine, Narcissa, and Dudley stayed with Draco and also began gathering dishes.

It took very little time for the dishes to be washed and put away and the leftovers to be divided among the guests. Draco leaned against the counter, grateful for the help. "I'm sorry that you got put to work. You should have all been out by the fire."

Hermoine snorted. "Nonsense. Listening to a bunch of men trying to outdo each other on every subject that gets brought up is more work for me than doing some dishes."

Pansy laughed. "More work because it's so hard to keep from laughing."

Narcissa shook her head. "I wish I had known that much at your age. It would have saved me many a boring evening."

The three women began to laugh and talk about various subjects. Draco couldn't believe how well Pansy, Hermoine, and his mother were getting along. Dudley was quietly observing the trio as well and Draco finally felt that he could relax. That changed when the subject of the conversation turned to something personal.

Narcissa placed her hand to Draco's abdomen. "I just hope that he has better luck than I did."

Dudley frowned. "He's in a bit of a different situation...."

Hermoine and Pansy laughed and Pansy walked over to put her arm through Dudley's. "Harry's cousin, eh? And you know nothing of wizards...pity. Look, things just work differently with us. Draco will be fine. Pregnancy is just pregnancy. There will be some minor differences, but nothing too glaring.

Hermoine nodded, but then studied Narcissa's sad face. "Was Draco a difficult baby?"

Narcissa shook her head. "No, he was wonderful, but..." She removed her hand from her son and shrugged. "It's nothing. I was older. It's been...four years now. Draco was sixteen and I have no clue why I thought I could raise a baby." She took a deep breath to stop the tears. "I was four months pregnant and something happened. There was so much blood and I had to be rushed to the hospital. I lost my youngest son that day." She leaned heavily against the counter. "I wanted to see him, but the doctor kept telling me that I shouldn't...that he was...deformed..." She choked out the words and started to sob.

Draco moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so sorry...."

"It wasn't anything you did, darling. It just happened."

Hermoine noticed the doubtful look in Draco's eyes and wondered if the blonde blamed himself for the miscarriage and began to question why. She couldn't talk to him in front of everyone so she figured she'd wait until another time. She watched Dudley and frowned. He was obviously uncomfortable with the emotional display. She turned to Pansy to guage her reaction and was surprised when she determined that Pansy was nearly green. The girl looked as if she was ready to throw up and it seemed to be directly related to Narcissa's revelation of her past pregnancy.

Draco looked at Pansy and was relieved when she met his eyes. The look of disgust that was there was quickly replaced by sadness.

Before things continued downhill, the kitchen door opened again. Harry frowned at the situation and walked toward Hermoine. "Draco...our guests are preparing to leave. I think we should tell them goodbye..."

Narcissa stood and wiped her tears. "Harry's right, dear. Your hysterical mother shouldn't be the cause of you being a bad host." She smiled and dabbed at her face so she looked presentable. "Come along, ladies." She took Pansy's hand and Hermoine's hand and led them out. Dudley followed, keeping as far away from Harry as possible.

Harry touched Draco's shoulder. "Hey...is she going to be alright?"

The blonde nodded. "Yeah, my pregnancy just brought up a painful memory for her of a miscarriage."

"Really? I didn't know...when?"

"About four years ago."

Harry thought back to that time. Draco had been very withdrawn that year at Hogwarts and he had never known it was because of his mother's emotional trauma. I really don't know much about his family...Shit...maybe I should have talked to him before inviting his parents. "Come on..." He led his husband out to the foyer where people were gathering the plates that Hermoine had grabbed to split among them.

Dudley smiled at Draco. "I'll be right back." He walked out the door and Harry turned to look at Draco, wondering what that meant. Before he could think too hard on it, Ron had clasped his hand tightly.

"A dad...I'm happy for you, Harry. You'll be great. I just wish..." He glared at Draco. "Make sure you keep your baby safe, mate." He addressed Draco then. "Malfoy...that baby is very important to Harry and that means it's very important to me. I want you to know that I will do anything to protect it...from anyone I consider a threat." He smiled coldly and waited for Hermoine.

Harry thought Ron was being very sweet and protective, but he had no idea that Draco had taken the comments as a veiled threat. It caused more confusion when Hermoine stepped in front of him and purposely placed her foot on his own. "Harry...open your eyes." She applied the pressure then, nearly causing tears to leap to his eyes. He grimaced and placed his weight on the other foot, having no clue what was going on.

Draco heard Ron growl as Hermoine wrapped her arms around the Slytherin. She whispered in his ear. "I know you don't trust me, but you can if you'd like. I'm here for you if you need me and when you're ready." She pulled away and smiled softly at him before grabbing Ron's arm and dragging him from the house. Draco certainly didn't envy Ron that night.

Snape looked Potter up and down and sneered. "Potter..." He didn't wait for a reply and moved toward Draco. "Contact me if you need to get away for awhile." He sneered at Potter again and left.

Harry smiled at Draco. "At least he hasn't changed."

"No, not at all. He'll soften up one day."

"What fun would that be?"

Draco grinned and then quickly turned back when Blaise and Pansy walked forward. They shook hands with Harry and muttered their congratulations and then hugged Draco. Pansy started talking about all the shopping she'd have to do for the baby and Blaise just rolled his eyes and dragged her out.

Harry closed the door just as Dudley came back. He caught the door and opened it again. Draco walked away from the door and went over to the fireplace, knowing that things were about to take a turn for the worse.

Harry curled his hands into fists. "What do you want and why do you have a suitcase?"

Dudley sighed. "Draco asked me to stay for awhile."

Harry shook his head. "Fine. Stay. Just keep away from me." He stomped upstairs and slammed the door to his room.

Draco smiled shakily and came over to take Dudley's suitcase. "Come on...I'll show you where you'll be sleeping." He walked upstairs and frowned at the weight of the bag. "Your bag is a bit heavy."

Dudley chuckled. "Yeah, I brought some gifts. Don't worry. It's not much." He looked at the room that Draco took him to. "Wow...did you decorate this place?"

Draco nodded, proud of the work he'd done on the house. Gryffindor colors decorated one of the guest rooms. The floors were a shiny maple and the four poster bed matched with just a slightly darker shade of varnish. Thick red velvet bedding was edged with golden cord and Dudley walked forward, touching the bed gently. "It's beautiful."

Draco placed the suitcase on the bench at the foot of the bed. "Thank you. I'll leave you to get unpacked. I'm sure you must be tired."

"Yes, I am." He sat on the bed. "I'm sorry if I'm causing trouble."

"You're not. I made this decision and I'll live with it. Harry will come around. I know he will. I didn't sense you were lying to me when you told me about what happened. I know that you were just misguided. Eventually he'll come to terms with that soon." He smiled gently. "Sleep well." He walked out and closed the door to give Dudley privacy. He was heading to his room to talk to Harry when he heard his parents' voices downstairs. I'd forgotten....

He came downstairs and began to dampen the fire. His mother was at his side in an instant. "You shouldn't be doing these things. Come sit..." She took his hand and led him to the couch, shooting a glare at Lucius.

The older man turned up the lights and extinguished the fire. He sat down next to his son and smiled cruelly. "Narcissa...go to bed."

"What? But I wanted to-"

"Go to bed!"

She jumped up. "Fine. Father and son talk, right?" She sighed and got directions to the second guest room from her son before taking her small bag upstairs.

Draco moved away from his father, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. "Don't touch me."

"Oh my...you're awfully bossy, aren't you? Remember that I'm the guest. You should treat me with more respect."

"You won't get it from me."

Lucius grabbed both of Draco's arms painfully and pulled him up as he stood. He pressed his face to his son's until they were nose to nose. "You owe me. I saved you the humiliation of the truth regarding your mother..."

"You forced me to do that! I had no control. Don't act as if you're some great man. You're a monster!"

Draco wasn't prepared for Lucius to let go so suddenly. He stumbled backward, but then grabbed onto the arm of the couch to steady himself. As soon as he did, his father slapped him hard in the face. The force of the hit sent Draco colliding with one of the armchairs. He flipped over the chair and stayed there, silent.

Lucius frowned when he realized what he had done. He righted the chair and grabbed the other bags before going upstairs. At the top he yelled back down. "Goodnight then, son. Don't stay up too late..." He went to bed, confident that Draco wouldn't tell anyone what really happened if he was found before he woke up on his own.

********************

Harry heard Lucius tell Draco goodnight and opened the door quietly. He didn't hear anything so he figured that his husband was too busy pouting to come to bed right then. He made his way to Dudley's room and knocked lightly.

The door opened a crack and then all the way. "Harry! I don't want to fight. I just-"

Harry placed his hand over his cousin's mouth and shoved him inside, closing the door behind him. "Be quiet! Draco is still awake."

Dudley jerked away from Harry and went back to unpacking. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk."

"Ha! I don't believe that. You've been nothing, but a prat since I've arrived." He continued to angrily place his clothes in the drawers.

"You're different."

"Aren't we all..."

"I mean that you look good."

Dudley stopped and stared at Harry. "Gee....thanks....."

"No, I didn't mean it like that. You looked fine before, but now...you've lost weight and you've...grown up."

Dudley sighed and sat on the bed. "What's going on? How do you expect me to work on this relationship if you can't figure out if you hate me or not? One second you want me as far away from you as possible and the next you're giving me compliments."

"I never forgave you."

"For treating you the way I did? Yes, you did. You can't pull that shit up after all these years. We ended that five years ago...the year you turned fifteen, remember?"

Harry wrapped his arms around himself for a moment. "Yeah, I do. That's not what I meant, though. Your homophobia drove us apart and now-"

"My WHAT? You're daft!"

"Dudley, don't lie."

"Harry, what we had was special...and innocent. I told you that I was heterosexual and you suddenly just thought that meant that I hated you for being homosexual. I never understood that."

"You betrayed me!"

"I loved you! We were never lovers. We were cousins and experimenting is normal, Harry."

"For two years?"

"Yeah, for two amazing years. You're the only person I would have trusted with my exploration of my sexuality." He stood up and wrapped his arms around his cousin. "Is that what this is about? Were you in love with me?"

Harry shrugged and allowed himself to lean against Dudley. "You were all I had."

"That's not true. You had your friends. I had nobody when you were gone except my parents and they were horrible."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Now you sound like Draco. 'My parents loved me a lot. It was such a hardship.' I don't buy it."

Dudley shook his head and stepped away from Harry. "You weren't there. You don't know! Vernon used to scream at me every time you left! He was cruel and hurtful and..." He sat on the bed again.

Harry sat next to him. "Shit...did he hit you?"

"No, he just pointed out over and over how worthless I was compared to you."

"He hated me."

"He envied you. You were powerful and strong and a hero in your own right. He was pissed because he wanted that for himself and for me."

"But if he had been kinder I could have taken care of all of you!"

"And wound his pride? I don't think so. Sometimes when a parent loves you too much...it becomes an obsession."

"I didn't know that. I just thought..."

"That I was like my father? You had a right to, but I apologized for the hell I put you through. I won't apologize again."

"I won't ask you to." The two men sat in silence and remembered when things had changed for them.

Harry was fourteen and sitting in his room. He was crying himself to sleep because it was his first night home and his uncle had already worked him so hard that he knew he couldn't stand to be there all summer. He hadn't been fed and he just wanted Ron to come and get him and take him somewhere safe. He heard the door open and quieted down.

Dudley walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. "Harry?"

Harry sat up. "Get out of here! I don't want to deal with you or-"

Dudley placed his finger to Harry's lips. "Shhhh. I don't want Vernon to hear us."

"Vernon? Since when do you call 'daddy' Vernon?"

"Since I realized what a pompous ass he was." He reached under his robe and brought out a plastic bag. He opened it and began to set out some food on the bed. "I couldn't get a lot, but I'll work on a system so that I can get more to you."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Why do you care?"

Dudley shrugged. "Nobody should be treated the way you are. I'm to blame for that, too. I don't expect your forgiveness, but you do have my apologies and my vow that I'll do whatever I can to make your time here less unpleasant than it usually is." He met Harry's eyes sadly. "I don't have anyone else. You're the only family I like."

Harry grinned, sensing the truth in Dudley's words. He was so happy to have a family member who didn't loathe him, that he didn't know what to say.

"Well?"

Harry nodded. "Alright. I can tell you mean what you're telling me. I don't know how to thank you."

"Easy. Let me take over your punishments."

"Um...what?"

"That way we can stay up here most times and they'll think that I'm working you hard and making you do studies that won't do you any good anyway."

Harry laughed. "Very well. You know...I haven't forgiven you yet."

"I know." Dudley frowned. "I don't want to just gloss over things. I want to discuss them and we'll work through things together, alright?"

Harry nodded. "Alright." He held out his hand.

Dudley smiled and shook his hand. "Vernon won't know what hit him."

The boys laughed and Dudley sat and told Harry about all the stupid thoughts that Vernon held about wizards while Harry ate. When Harry was finished, he told Dudley the truth about the wizarding world and the two sat up all night forming a friendship that lasted for two years.

Harry stood up. "I should let you get some rest."

Dudley caught his hand in his own. "I've missed you."

Harry pulled Dudley up and hugged him. "I've missed you, too. Damn Draco for forcing this, though."

"You haven't told him."

"About us? Hell no! He'd be disgusted."

"I don't think so. You need to talk to him. He's having a rough time with something. I don't know what, but I think you need to watch him. Especially with the baby on the way."

Harry frowned. "He doesn't know everything about you and I. It's feasible that I'm wrong about him and his parents. Maybe I shouldn't have invited them without his knowing. I just thought it was fair since he invited you."

"You aren't pregnant."

"You're right. I wasn't thinking." He smiled. "I'll talk to him now. Goodnight."

Dudley sighed happily. "Goodnight, Harry." He watched as Harry left, hoping that things would finally calm down in the household.


TBC....