Snape walks into a bar (challenge answer)

DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter belongs entirely to J.K. Rowling.


“Hermione!” Harry and Ron ran to greet Hermione as she passed through the brick wall entrance onto Platform nine and three quarters.
“You’re alive!” Harry let it slip out before he could stop himself. He reached her first and opened his arms for a hug.
Ron approached her a little more cautiously, appearing shy and nervous. “Hey.” He said simply. Hermione smiled at him, trying to reassure him of her feelings for him, but he didn’t seem convinced. She couldn’t blame him though, considering that she hadn’t spoken to him all summer.
“Hi Ron,” Hermione briefly slipped her arms around his neck in a quick embrace and he returned it slightly.
“Where’ve you been all summer?” Harry demanded with an obviously worried frown.
“I’m sorry I disappeared on you guys…” Hermione hung her head. “I just needed some time alone…”
“Three months?” Ron was clearly angry about his girlfriend’s absence from his summer.
“I’m sorry!” She repeated, a little more firmly. “I just needed to take care of some things…on my own…”
“You could have at least sent us an owl Hermione, to let us know you were safe!” Ron insisted.
“I know, you’re right…but…” She shrugged. There was really no way for her to explain where she had been all summer. She was obviously not going to tell them the truth, but she didn’t know what to say that they would accept as an answer, so she just remained quiet.
“It’s alright, we understand.” Harry replied softly. Ron’s glare made Hermione believe otherwise but she smiled gratefully at Harry.
“So, how were your summers?” Hermione asked with a forced cheery tone.
“Boring as hell.” Ron muttered. “I missed my girlfriend.”
“Sorry again Ron…I don’t know how many times I can say it.” Hermione was starting to get frustrated with the whiny redhead. Sure he was her boyfriend, but he had never exactly acted like it. The most he ever did with her was hold her hand. After her summer, she was ready for more in a relationship.
“Come on, let’s go find a seat.” Harry urged, eager to keep peace between his two friends. Hermione hurried along with Harry, slightly uncaring about the fact that Ron fell behind them.
“Did you spend a lot of time at the Burrow this summer Harry?” Hermione asked. She was truly curious about how her friends had spent their time. She realized that she had missed a lot while focusing on herself, and she wanted to learn all she could about everything that had happened without her.
“Not as much as I’d have liked.” Harry shrugged. “I was stuck with the Dursleys until a couple of weeks ago actually. Ron’s family was busy with random things, and I think they kind of forgot about me…” He lowered his voice slightly so Ron wouldn’t hear his bitter tone.
“Really?” Hermione frowned. “It doesn’t seem like Molly to forget about you for the summer! She’s always so anxious to take you away from the Dursleys so she can fuss over you herself.”
“I know, that’s what I thought!” Harry sighed. “But whatever, it was fun. Ron and I spend most of the time in Diagon Alley bothering Fred and George at their shop.”
“Oh?” Hermione smiled. “Well that’s good I suppose.” She chose an empty compartment on the train and the boys followed her in. Harry and Ron shoved the three trunks onto the rack above their heads and then Harry waited for Ron to take the seat next to Hermione. He, however, didn’t seem to catch onto the suggestion and sat across from Hermione. Harry rolled his eyes and sat next to Ron.
“How’s everyone in your family Ron?” Hermione inquired courteously.
Ron grunted in reply.
“Ron come on! Don’t be cross with me!” Hermione begged. “I’m sorry I ignored you this summer! But you have to understand that the issue with my parents was just something that I needed to deal with on my own! You still care about me, don’t you?”
Ron grunted again.
“Fine. If you don’t want to be my boyfriend anymore I can take a hint.” Hermione stood huffily and left the compartment in search of other friends to sit with.
“Ron! What the bloody hell’s the matter with you?” Harry accused as soon as the door had slammed shut behind Hermione’s exit.
“Nothing.” Ron crossed his arms bitterly and slumped against the cushioned back of his seat. “I just don’t feel like talking to her right now.”
“She’s trying to make it up to you! Give her a break! She’s had a hard time! We can’t possibly understand what she’s feeling regarding her parents’ divorce! She could be miserable and in serious need of her boyfriend’s support right now! But instead you’re treating her like a plague!”
“Harry! She didn’t talk to me once this entire summer! We were barely together for a month before school ended last year and I had expected to spend the holidays with my girlfriend! Is that so wrong?” Ron retorted angrily.
“No, not at all, but you’re not being very considerate to her feelings!” Harry insisted. “Have you thought that perhaps after witnessing her parents’ splitting up, Hermione wasn’t much in the mood for trying a relationship for herself?”
“I—” Ron gasped. “Oh Harry! You’re probably right! I didn’t even think about that!” He dropped his head in his hands. “I’m such an idiot!”
Harry felt proud of himself for thinking of an explanation that would satisfy Ron’s bitterness towards Hermione, even if it was a completely made-up answer. “Yea you are an idiot. But when Hermione returns you’ll apologize to her and things will be all back to normal. Alright?”
Ron nodded lamely. “Yea, I will.”

Hermione strode quickly down the hallway. She was so angry at Ron that she barely noticed anyone she passed, even those that said ‘hi’ to her. She hadn’t even noticed Malfoy until she had crashed into him.
“Watch it mudblood!” Draco sneered at her as she just barely caught herself before losing her balance completely.
“Shut it Malfoy!” Hermione spat at him.
“Oh, very original Granger.” He glanced down the corridor behind her. “Where’re your bodyguards?”
“Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing!” Hermione retorted quickly.
“Heard you were missing over the summer. What happened? Did you accidentally put a vanishing charm on yourself and forget how to reverse it?” He scoffed.
Hermione glared. “Where I was, or what I was doing over the summer is hardly any of your business—” She stopped short as she and Draco were suddenly aware of muffled, but very erotic moaning and grunting and drifting through the door to the corridor just behind where Draco stood.
“What the hell?” Draco spun around and Hermione quickly caught up to him as he pushed open the door and stepped into the compartment; Hermione pushed her way past him to get a better view.
When she realized what they had walked in on she had to fight laughter. There on one of the benches in the compartment, two students were busily enjoying each others’ bodies. A boy’s clothed ass was sticking up in the air and his robes hung low, mostly covering the body beneath himself, but a pair of bare female legs was visible from beneath his straddling body. His hands looked busy and his mouth seemed the same considering the few escaping moans coming from both him and the girl hiding beneath him.
“Damn. I wouldn’t mind getting in on some of that action…” Draco grinned as he eyed the couple with interest.
Hermione glared at him and prepared to lecture the students who had been surprised by Draco’s voice and were now quickly surfacing. Hermione gasped loudly. “GINNY!?”
The petite redhead blushed and quickly pulled her open shirt over her exposed bra. “Umm…hey Hermione…you’re alive!”
The guy had been still staring at the window, not turning to face the prefects but he slowly turned and tried to avoid Draco’s eyes as he stood and very obviously zipped up his pants.
“Blaise?” Draco nearly shouted. “Are you fucking insane?!”
Hermione was just as shocked as Draco but she managed to keep her opinions to herself as Ginny stood ashamedly in the corner of the compartment, busily buttoning up her uniform shirt and trying hard not to look at Hermione.
“Get out here now!” Draco grabbed Blaise by the neck of his robes and yanked him from the compartment. Hermione could hear Draco rambling furiously as he pushed Blaise all the way down the corridor and back towards his own compartment.
Hermione slid the door shut and stood with her arms crossed, waiting for Ginny’s defense.
“Umm…” Ginny offered a weak smile.
“Ginny! He’s a Slytherin! Not only that, but he’s one of Malfoy’s best friends!” Hermione reminded the redhead girl.
“I know, but he’s kind of cute…” She shrugged.
“Have you even considered what your brothers would say if they knew what you were doing? Not just who you were doing it with but that you were doing it at all!” Hermione felt a little hypocritical considering where she had spent her summer, but at the same time Ginny was like her little sister, and she couldn’t help feeling the need to lecture her.
“I thought we were supposed to enjoy ourselves while we’re young!” Ginny argued innocently. “Blaise and I were just having a bit of fun! We weren’t hurting anyone!”
“But he’s a Slytherin Ginny!”
“It’s not like we’re dating or anything!” Ginny insisted.
“What?” Hermione frowned. She didn’t know what she wanted to know less. The fact that Ginny was screwing a Slytherin or that she was screwing someone she wasn’t even dating. “And that makes it better?”
“It’s just for fun!” Ginny rolled her eyes. “Do you even know what it means to have fun, Hermione?”
Hermione hesitated. Sure she’d probably fucked more men over the summer then Ginny could even think about, but it wasn’t for fun. Hermione had never even considered it that way. It was business. A paycheck. That was all. She sighed. “Look Gin, I’m not going to tell you who you’re allowed to be with or what you’re allowed to do with them, but I just think it might be a good idea for you to consider where you’re doing it from now on…” She raised an eyebrow. “On the Hogwarts’ Express? Honestly Gin!”
Ginny grinned mischievously. “It seemed exciting. Sort of reckless, you know?” She laughed. “No, you probably don’t know. Oh well, but umm…don’t tell Ron…or Harry. Okay?”
Hermione nodded. “I won’t.”
“Oh, or Seamus…”
“Huh?” Hermione paused.
“We’re kind of dating now.” Ginny shrugged. “Which reminds me…” Ginny finished fixing her clothing and pulled her robe tight around herself. “I’m supposed to be meeting him!” She smiled at Hermione and headed out of the compartment. “See you latter Hermione!”
Hermione didn’t know what to think. The sweet, innocent redhead who had always been just Ron’s little sister was starting to compete with Hermione’s professional standings as a whore. She shook her head, thinking about what the reaction would be if Ron and Harry ever found out. A small bit of Hermione’s mind started wandering back to what she had walked in on and she found herself feeling a tad jealous. Fun? That’s what Ginny had called it. Hermione realized that she really didn’t know how to just mess with guys for fun. She had always just considered it a job, but she now started to think about how much fun she could have with someone if they would just give her a chance…she’d have to work on Ron.


“Can’t we sit in the back today?” Hermione pleaded with the boys as they entered the dungeons for their afternoon Potions class the next day.
“What? Are you serious?” Harry frowned. “You never want to sit in the back Hermione!”
“I know, but today I’m just sort of in the back sort of a mood…you know?” She looked hopeful.
“Umm…okay…I guess…” Harry nodded and motioned to a table at the very back with three seats and they quickly sat down.
Hermione pulled out her book and quickly buried her face behind it. She was not looking forward to any part of the class with Professor Snape. She hadn’t even thought about how she was going to face him after what had happened the previous week. It was too strange for her to think about. He had been watching her perform at work…well, a part of her felt a little flattered that he had taken such an interest in her, but at the same time she was repulsed. He was her teacher, her least favorite teacher for that matter, and the head of Slytherin! She refused to let herself consider the possibility that watching her had turned him on. It was too disgusting for her to imagine! However she realized that the more she thought about Professor Snape being turned on by her body, the warmer and wetter she became. The entire predicament puzzled and disturbed her and she wished that it had never happened. She would never be able to focus enough on lessons to achieve a passing grade in the class.
“Take out your books and turn to page one hundred and three…” Professor Snape’s cold voice alerted the students to the beginning of class.
Hermione glanced up briefly and realized that he was staring at her. When she caught his eyes he instantly looked away. The situation was obviously as awkward and uncomfortable for him as it was for her. Then again, it should be more uncomfortable for him. He was the one that was spying on her! She comforted herself slightly with that fact and actually managed to stare him down a few times throughout the lesson, and she finished her assignment for the day successfully. However, when she approached the front of the classroom to hand in the bottled potion that she had created perfectly she found herself suddenly unable to think.
“Here…” She forced the word of her mouth in a sort of squeak. Snape glared hard at her as though daring her to say anything else concerning what had happened. Her eyes matched his in intensity although she felt that hers were slightly less intimidating. She handed the small vile to him nervously and he reached out to take it equally nervous. As she passed the bottle into his hand their fingers brushed very slightly against each other and both professor and student jerked back, letting the vile drop and shatter on the desk. “Oh!” Hermione gasped.
“Zero Miss Granger,” Snape almost seemed excited that he didn’t have to give her a passing grade for the day’s work, even though he knew that she would deserve it. His lips were tight and his eyes were firm. She was too uncomfortable to even try and argue with him. She nodded curtly and fled from the room, finding her entire body warm and trembling with a strange sense of arousal that she had never received from any of her clients.
She was starting to understand the craving that some people would get for sex because she had never craved anything so much in her life. She needed a good and hard fuck but she knew that she wouldn’t get it from any of the students at Hogwarts. The first day of school was incredibly disappointing. She was becoming very interested in finding a way to persuade Ron away from his innocence.


“Oh yes…” Hermione’s breath was raspy with delight as she threw her head back and clawed at the headboard of the large bed. Her slender hips squirmed around the thick cock that was buried deep inside her pussy. “This is what I’ve needed!” She breathed deeply and her eyelids fluttered. “Oh Fred…” She gasped and rocked harder against the redhead’s dick. He grinned and grabbed eagerly at her swinging boobs.
“Hermione! I never realized you were such an incredible slut!” Fred Weasley laughed as she leaned forward to kiss him deeply.
“You just never gave me a chance!” She bit his lip teasingly and rubbed her hard nipples against his chest.
“You are amazing!” An intriguing voice whispered in her ear. Hermione’s eyes squeezed shut briefly and she moaned as another equally thick, but even longer, cock rammed into her asshole. She loved being double banged…especially by twins.
“Oh Merlin! George!” She continued to kiss Fred passionately and ride his hard cock as George expertly matched his ass banging with the rhythm that she had already established with his twin brother.
Fred carefully raised himself to his knees, keeping his cock perfectly positioned up her pussy. He wrapped his arms around her waist while George’s arms circled her from behind and started teasing and squeezing her nipples. She moaned as she was sandwiched between the redhead twins and trembled with pleasure as they matched their motions to bang her hard in front and back at the same time. She’d never felt such pleasure.
“Ron!” She called out breathily. Her hands pushed hard on Fred’s chest forcing him back down on the bed. She rode him quickly as George pressed himself into her fully and glided with her back and forth on his brother’s cock. Ron jumped to attention.
“Where do you want me baby?” His cock was smaller then either of his brothers’ but still a good seven inches long and impressively thick. She reached out her hand and squeezed the tip of his hard cock teasingly. She motioned with her head and he moved around in front of her, kneeling up on the bed, just behind his brothers’ head. She leaned forward again squealing as George increased his pace from behind. She closed her mouth over the tip of Ron’s cock, letting one of her nipples rub against Fred’s lips. He opened his mouth eagerly and latched onto the hard nub, sucking and nibbling hard. She expertly licked up and down the length of Ron’s shaft making him moan in pleasure.
“Ron…you’re not a virgin are you?” Hermione asked suddenly.
Ron blushed but the brilliant redness in his cheeks gave her the answer she needed.
“I could change that for you if you wanted…” Hermione grinned and pushed herself off of Fred who looked extremely disappointed. She pushed Ron onto his back and separated herself from George as she slowly moved over Ron’s body. He waited tensely as she spread her legs and prepared to lower herself onto his ready cock…

“Ron! Wake up!”
Ron slapped at the air trying to make whatever was buzzing in his ear stop.
“Ron! We’re going to be late for breakfast!”
Ron opened his eyes and squinted in the haziness of his dream. “Harry?” It was not what he would have chosen to wake up to. “I just had the weirdest, and yet the best dream of my life! Why’d you have to wake me up?” Ron glared angrily.
“We’re going to be late for breakfast. And Hermione said she’d be waiting for us…”
“Oh yea! Hermione!” Ron leapt out of bed and was dressed in under a minute.


A/N: I am so sorry it has taken so long to update. Here\'s the pathetically tragic situation I am in. I have recently started attending a university which is actually very conservative and blocks websites with \'adult content\'. Lame, right? Anyway, I\'m writing quite a bit and will be updating on holidays when I can hook up to a real internet that doesn\'t filter things. Hope you\'re all still interested in reading! Please review and leave comments or suggestions! Thanks!