A Cursed Wound

Closing his eyes, Remus tried to relax. The pull of the moon was unrelenting. Soon his bones and muscles would break and contort. Soon Moony would have free physical rein.

It had been a little over a month since he had made love to Nymph. She was safe now. That was all that mattered, not the ever-constant gnawing sensation that urged him to forget everything and give in to the madness. His dreams were full of her, tormenting him, yet reinforcing his motives to leave his home and friends forever.

Sighing, he opened his eyes and looked around his new cell. It was amazing what money could buy. He’d contracted with a wizarding firm from France to build the cell. Once they realized he was a werewolf, they worked tirelessly to get the job done on time. The cell was top priority. Everything else could wait.

Just as long as – His thought was cut short as the first sign of the curse emerged. His heart racing, Remus shuddered as he heard and felt the sickening snap of his legs as they reshaped themselves. No matter how hard he tried, he could not help but cry out. The bones and sinew of his face and jaw transformed, giving shape to the long snout and menacing teeth.

The tenuous grasp of consciousness gave way as Remus yielded to Moony.

--

Sniffing the air around him, Moony committed his new surroundings to memory. The wizard had removed him from his mate. Even if he managed to break through the wards, he would not be able to get to his witch.

--

Consigned to the background of the dual existence, Remus woke up. It seemed like an eternity, but the Wolfsbane Potion was quick and powerful, allowing the man to overcome the dementia and taming the wolf.

I really would appreciate it if you would not try to dig your way out this time Remus requested with a knowing smirk.

The beast clacked his jaw in submission.

You do realize I could do the same to you, don’t you? Remus chuckled mirthlessly. I could injure myself and you would have to spend the full moon licking your wound.”

Moony threw his head back and roared with laughter, unsettling the wizard.

You’re calm this evening, Remus stated, observing Moony’s mannerisms. Then panic set in. Had the beast done something between that brief span between the completed transformation and the effects of the Wolfsbane? How long had he drowned in the dementia? Had he harmed anyone?

Calm down, human, huffed Moony in annoyance.

Remus eyed the wolf warily. His alter ego was definitely up to something. The wards are set. You can’t escape.

I don’t need to escape, Moony sneered. You can’t resist the lure of her. We were driven to mate with her.

As much as he wanted to, Remus couldn’t deny Moony’s words. If he hadn’t been so busy preparing to cast the Fidelius Charm, Remus would have taken Tonks to bed and made love to her until he couldn’t lick his lips.

Besides, Moony sniggered smugly, you won’t deny your own progeny.

A suffocating fear crept into Remus. What do you mean? he whispered shakily.

Couldn’t you smell it, Remus? Moony could no longer resist the urge to pace as the sounds of wildlife outside enticed him. Even when you think you’re in control, you aren’t. The Nymph is pregnant. I could smell it…the first time you mated with her…she was fertile.

Remus shivered as the wolf’s words echoed in his head. Sh-she used a Contraceptive Charm.

Only abstinence is foolproof, chuckled Moony.

The doubt had been planted and Remus started to mentally pace alongside his lifelong nemesis.

--

“Remus?” a muffled voice called out.

Slipping into his robe, he grimaced. It had only been a few hours since he had transformed and he was stiff. But he had to get to London. He had to know. “In here,” Remus answered.

The door opened and Harry entered hesitantly.

Remus motioned for Harry to come closer. Leaning against the younger wizard, Remus limped alongside Harry. “I’m glad you’re here, Harry. I don’t think I can Apparate right now. I’m still too weak. I have to get to London. I have to see Tonks.”

Harry tensed. “Why?”

“I need to see if she’s all right,” explained Remus softly. What if Tonks was pregnant? The child could have lycanthropy. Surely she would opt to terminate the pregnancy.

Harry stopped. “I—I don’t think that’s such a good idea. She’s uh…been kind of sick lately and she’s in the middle of an investigation.”

“What the hell is she doing at work if she’s ill?” Remus asked angrily. “How sick is she? Has she been to the doctor?”

Harry started coughing. He coughed so hard his eyes watered. “She—she’s handling a complaint Professor Snape lodged against Hermione. In fact, I have to get going. I just came by to check on you. You know…to make sure you were okay. I managed to push the paperwork through rather quickly for Hermione’s warrant.”

“What?” Remus exclaimed. “Have you gone barmy? She’s one of your best mates! What the hell is going on?”

Harry started coughing again. “I really have to go.” Harry tried to pull away, but Remus held tight.

“Please, Harry,” Remus pleaded. “I need to see her.”

Harry looked puzzled. “Hermione?”

“No,” Remus snapped. “Tonks.”

Harry cleared his throat, looking as though he were holding his breath to keep from coughing. Looking into the eyes that were so much like Lily’s, Remus saw the truth. Harry wanted to tell him something, but he couldn\'t. Remus remembered James making him, Sirius, and Peter take a wizard\'s oath -- an oath not to tell Lily that he was madly in love with her. Harry\'s face looked exactly how he\'d felt under the oath.

“She’s pregnant, isn’t she?” whispered Remus, his face turning ashen.

Pulling away from the sickly wizard, Harry dropped to his knees and doubled over in a coughing fit.

“She made you promise not to tell me,” Remus continued. “You took a wizard’s oath. You can’t tell me, or you will start coughing uncontrollably.” Remus watched as Harry turned a light shade of purple. “All right, Harry?”

“No,” Harry gasped. “Not really. Would you…please…stop…asking questions?”

“One last question.” Remus smiled as Harry rolled his eyes. “Will you help me Apparate to London?”

--

Remus closed his eyes, willing the dizziness to abate as he swayed on his feet in front of the entrance to the Ministry of Magic. Harry’s arm steadied him.

“All right, Remus?” asked Harry solemnly.

“Yes, yes,” Remus replied, patting the young wizard’s arm as he got his bearings. “I’m fine, thank you.”

Harry seemed indecisive as he stepped away from his former professor.

“What is it?” Remus asked.

“Ginny’s pregnant,” Harry blurted as if afraid he would start coughing again.

Remus smiled. “That’s…wonderful, Harry.”

Running a hand through his already messy hair, Harry started to pace. “No, it’s not,” he groaned. “Every time I try to talk to her about it, she hexes me and runs away. The other night I Flooed Hermione’s apartment…because Ginny is taking care of Crookshanks… and Snape was there. She told me that he was the father.”

“What?” Remus exclaimed, momentarily distracted from his own problems.

“Well, I – I kind of asked her if the baby was mine,” Harry explained.

“I see,” the older wizard replied.

“I know the baby is mine. I want to ask Ginny to marry me, but she keeps hexing me.”

Remus didn’t know what to say. He felt sorry for Harry. He didn’t know how Tonks was going to react when he saw her. Perhaps he should wait to confront her about the pregnancy.

Staring at Remus, Harry shook his head. “I have to get going. I’m helping Tonks with the investigation. Will you be okay by yourself?”

“Of course,” Remus replied and gave Harry a nervous smile. He hoped Tonks didn’t hex him when she saw him.


--

Her scent assailed his senses before he neared her. Normally, Moony was completely dormant right after a transformation – but not now. The wolf was awakening, invigorating Remus. Praying his suspicions were wrong, Remus sighed and proceeded to track her down.

Rounding a corner, he could hear the deep timber of Kingsley Shaklebolt’s voice in serious contemplation. “You know why Mad-Eye took you off the case. You really shouldn’t take it personally.”

“Well, I do,” an alluring feminine voice replied between sniffles.

“You see, Tonks,” Kingsley continued, unperturbed by the emotional witch in front of him. “You’re hardly far enough along to get so emotional. At least I don’t remember my wife being so hormonal so early on in her pregnancy.”

The overheard words made Remus gasp, alerting the two Aurors that they were not alone. Moony had been right! Numbness encircled Remus like a frigid blanket. Gods! How could he have been so careless? Not only had he endangered Tonks’ life…

“Er.” Kingsley cleared his throat as he looked back and forth between the two lovers. “Are you going to be okay, Tonks?”

“Yes,” she said flatly. “Langley is waiting for you. You better get going. We need the guest list from the Annual Celebratory Ball for the hearing.”

“Uh…yeah…right,” the tall Auror stuttered as he backed away.

Remus and Tonks were left in the hall, staring at each other. Both were silent as if they were afraid to go past the moment of revelation and all it implied.

Tonks snapped out of it first and tried to walk past Remus. “Excuse me,” she mumbled softly. “I’ve got work to do.”

Remus snatched her by the elbow and held her gently in place. She wouldn’t look him in the eye and he could feel the slight tremor that ran through her body. “Were you ever going to tell me?” he hissed.

Angry eyes snapped to his and she pulled away from him. “Only if I could find you,” she accused, walking away.

Looking at his hand as if it had been burned, Remus felt the familiar stirrings within him. He wanted her…wanted her so badly he’d kill to have her. “It’s not a game, Tonks. I’m dangerous and –”

“Sod off, Remus,” she tossed over her shoulder.

Growling in frustration, he followed her. “No.”

Stopping in the middle of the hall, Tonks turned around and gaped at him. “You cast the Fidelius Charm. Not me! You are the one who made it perfectly clear you wanted nothing to do with me. I get it!” Tonks shouted angrily. “You don’t fucking want me! I don’t need to be told again!”

Her anger fed his frustration and Remus garnered the last bit of strength he could to show her that she was wrong. Grabbing her around the waist, he pulled her toward him. Her eyes were wide with unshed tears. “That’s just it, Nymph,” he murmured so low he wasn’t even certain she could hear him. “I do want you.”

Leaning against the wall in his weakened state, Remus pulled her against him. For one brief second, he dreamed…dreamed of the possibility of a future, children, and her. Her objections were promptly smothered as he fastened his lips over hers and asserted his dominance.

She yielded against him in invitation and it didn’t matter that they were in the middle of a Ministry hall. She was the one who broke the kiss and trailed her lips along the column of his throat.

“I don’t know whether to shag you or hex you,” Tonks panted and nipped his throat.

A gruff clearing of a throat brought a rude awareness of their surroundings to them and they broke apart.

Mad-Eye Moody was standing there, leaning heavily on his cane and grinning (or at least it was the closest thing he could get to a grin.) “Tonks, they are waiting for you downstairs,” he stated reprovingly, his eye spinning around as if he were looking at something down the hall.

Before Remus could object, Tonks muttered a quick response and walked away. Quirking an eyebrow at him, Mad-Eye started to limp away. “It’s good to see you again, Remus. Follow me.”

Feeling like he was a fifth-year caught in the stacks, Remus followed his fellow Order member dutifully. “You too, Alastor.”

Before he knew it, Remus was sitting across a desk from the old Auror. Moody opened a drawer, took out a box and flipped it open. “Want one?” he asked, offering a cigar to Remus.

“No thank you.” Remus held his hand up in refusal.

Settling back in his chair, Moody lit the treat and started puffing on it. It seemed like an eternity before he spoke.

“I’d like to know what your intentions are toward my junior Auror,” Alastor stated simply.

Remus blinked, not knowing whether to laugh or be angry. Truthfully, he hadn’t thought past finding out whether Tonks was pregnant or not. “Uh, I—”

“She fancies herself in love with you,” Moody explained impassively, his gaze unwavering. “It’s probably the potion…or the hormones. You never can tell with women.”

“I…care for her,” Remus replied softly, then stopped as Moody\'s full statement registered. \"Potion?\"

“You better care for her,” Mad-Eye growled. “You marked her. You’re mated to her for life.”

Feeling sufficiently chastised and overwhelmingly guilty, Remus closed his eyes. “I love her,” he admitted.

Moody’s magical eye focused on Remus, seemingly looking to see if the werewolf was telling the truth. “Good.”

Even though he had admitted his feelings for his lover, Remus still felt dejected. “Not that it makes much difference. It will never work out. I’m too old and too dangerous.”

Mad-Eye’s one eye narrowed and his magical eye started spinning in its socket. “I would have never figured you for a coward.”

“What?” Remus chuffed, his irritation growing.

Setting his cigar in the ashtray, Moody leaned forward. “I was mated for fifteen years, and that was before the Wolfsbane Potion was made. It was the best fifteen years of my life. Sadly, Luellen passed away about eleven years ago.

“Don’t look so surprised, Remus,” Alastor continued. “I didn’t receive all my injuries on the job.”

“I-I don’t know what to say,” Remus finally managed to say.

Moody stood. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s what you do that’s important. Don’t use the ‘I’m too old and dangerous excuse.’ Nymphadora will never accept that. And you shouldn’t sell yourself short.”

“But I—”

“We’re in the middle of a delicate investigation, and I can’t afford to have her mind wandering.” Moody moved toward the door. “Potter is bringing Granger and Snape in shortly. After that, it’s anybody’s guess where the investigation is going.”

Moody opened the door and held it open for Remus. But before Remus could walk through, Mad-Eye blocked his way. “I just thought I would give you fair warning, Lupin. If your intentions toward Nymphadora aren’t honorable, you best leave the country. Once I’m done with you, Shaklebolt wouldn’t have much to kick around.”

*****