Black Heart

Disclaimer thing again: Not her, you know it and I know it. Ain't no changing it. On with the
show.

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Happy holidays to you all. :D


Chapter 4: Sunday

Early the next morning Hermione had finished reading the sections of the fat book
dealing with curses. Particularly the Cruciatus curse. She was still having trouble figuring out
all the information and how it fit with Severus. Severus? When did he become Severus? She
wondered to herself and shook her head. I really need to speak to the Headmaster, that's all
there is for it. She felt sure he could shed some light on the situation. As she had been sitting by
the fire most of the night in her night clothes, Hermione grabbed her jeans and shirt and tip toed
into the bathroom to change.

Arriving back in front of the fire, book under her arm, she took a pinch of floo powder
and tossed it in. "Headmaster's, office" she called.

"Please come in Miss Granger, I've been expecting you."

"Headmaster, I don't want to leave Professor Snape alone in case he should need
something." Hermione called into the fire. Instantly Nala appeared.

"Nala will call Miss if the Master wakes." Nala replied proudly.

"Alright then," Hermione replied the concern evident in her eyes. "I should only be gone
a few minutes."

"Ready Miss Granger?" Professor Dumbledore called as he raised his hand to disable the
wards Severus had placed the night before.

Hermione nodded. "Coming." Hermione stepped into the fire and out into Professor
Dumbledore's office.

"Well, my dear, what have you discovered?" Albus asked raising an eyebrow.
Hermione brought over the book and placed it on the desk in front of the older man. Albus
skimmed the page. "Yes, Miss Granger, I have read this article a few times but what does it
suggest to you?"

"Well, all it says is that this curse is a particularly damaging one on the mind, and should
not be used on children." Hermione summarized.

Dumbledore went still, he raised his eyes to meet those of his brightest student. "That is
true Miss Granger, it does infer that such a curse is particularly damaging to children."

Hermione lowered her eyes and asked very quietly, "Professor Dumbledore is that what
happened to Sev- I mean Professor Snape?"

"Well, Miss Granger, I think this really is a conversation you should be having with him.
Don't you?"

"Please, Professor? I can't help him if I don't have all the facts. From what I've read in
this book and from observing Professor Snape's behavior," Hermione started pacing, and Albus
sat back in his chair and let her continue in her train of thought. "I've observed that every time
he shows strong emotion, anger or rage mostly, the effects last longer. That if he could let go of
the rage even for a short while the effects wouldn't be so bad. That they are lessened actually."
Hermione chewed on her thumb. "Professor? How old was he when the curse was preformed
the first time?"

Dumbledore looked sadly down at his hands picking at a hang nail that was bothering
him. "I really shouldn't be telling you this my dear. . ." For a moment she thought he wouldn't
answer. "He was 9." Hermione gasped but the Headmaster continued. "His father used it as
punishment whenever Severus showed the least bit of anger."

"So his convulsions are not just physical. It's his mind I have to work on as well. I read
somewhere that after some traumatic episodes in a persons life, the mind will sometimes keep the
physical reaction and repeat it over and over again. I have to get him to realize how and why this
is happening to him."

"Alas Miss Granger the body is easier to repair. We magical folk can heal wounds and
nearly anything that breaks, but the mind, without that. . ." Albus shrugged.

Hermione slumped down in the chair opposite the older man. "I'm not a doctor Professor
I don't know how to help him." Hermione averted her eyes into her lap, as her hands toyed with
a stray thread that had come loose on her shirt.

"You have already started my dear, and you don't even know it." The Headmaster
smiled. "He needs you to be who you are. No more, no less."

"Wouldn't this be easier to take form someone he respects? Someone like you for
example?" She wondered.

"Believe me my dear girl, I've tried, but he refuses to hear me. Perhaps, perhaps he will
be more receptive to you. By not telling him and merely helping him working through it you
may get farther with him." Dumbledore was rising. "Now, I'm sure you want to be there when
he wakes, Miss Granger. Let me know if I can assist you in any way." Dumbledore ushered
Hermione to the fireplace. She put in a pinch and went back to the dungeons. The Headmaster
replaced the strong wards Snape had put into place.

Hermione saw Nala standing in the door way between the bedroom and sitting room. As
she approached the elf she whispered, "everything alright?"

"Yes Miss, bad dream is all."

"I'm not surprised." Considering the life he's had, she added mentally.

"Please Miss, Nala was wondering. . ." The little house elf chewed on her lip and wrung
her hands in a nervous gesture.

"Just say it Nala. You can speak freely with me." Hermione smiled encouragingly.

"Nala was just wondering Miss, if the Master has mentioned the garden yet?" The elf said
quickly then cringing as though the Professor might jump out of bed and attack her.

"No, no he hasn't, why do you ask?" Hermione asked quietly, still smiling. He has a
garden? Hermione's mind was spinning.

"Well, it's one of the Professor's favorite places to be, it is. Other than in his lab with his
potions. Nala was thinking maybe a walk? A walk in the garden usually helped the Master get
well. He goes there after he has seen Him" Lowering her voice even more Nala added.
"Especially after he's been to see Him. Always bad after being there."

"Thank you Nala," Hermione stood tall again. "I'll keep that in mind for later. Now
could you please bring up something for breakfast when it's ready."

"Yes Miss." She replied, then with a pop she was gone.

Hermione heard talking in the bedroom. Walking back to the doorway she peeked in.
Snape was thrashing about as though he were tied to the bed. His arms and legs were splayed out
and pressed into the bed. "Don't!" was the only word she could understand.

"Professor?" Hermione called to him. "Shh, you're here with me, not them." She kept
her voice soft and continuous, reassuring him. Putting her hand in his and one knee on the bed
she started running his fingers through his hair. Suddenly surprising Hermione, Severus opened
his eyes and lay staring at her with a tortured look.

He lay there for several minutes remembering where he was, still holding onto her hand,
as though she were his life line to the present. "What happened?" He asked, his voice sounding
gravely and still thick with sleep.

Hermione reached over to the night stand for the glass of water that Nala must have
placed there earlier. She put the glass in his slightly shaking hand, then placed her hand on the
back of his neck to help him sit up so that he could drink the water. He sipped at it gratefully.
"You had another nightmare." Hermione replied to the question. As her eyes traveled over his
face she noticed that he looked uncomfortable, and decided to change topics. "Are you hungry or
would you like a shower now?"

Severus looked at the girl questioningly. "Yes you can have one now. You're pretty well
healed. But the scars maybe tender so I would just let the water run over them in lieu of rubbing
them. The scars should only be there for another 24 hours."

The Potions Master rose from the bed and started to go into the bathroom as Hermione
scooted out of his way, but he stopped in the door way. "So you'll be leaving then." It was a
statement not a question.

"Oh No, I'll still be here," she said to his back. "Nice try to get rid of me though."

He simply nodded his head once and closed the door. Smiling Hermione started
straightening the room. Then she went and put her book back. As she walked back to the
bedroom she heard the shower running. Going to the dresser she stood there contemplating
wether or not she should open them. Finally, quickly Hermione opened the first drawer, some
shirts thank goodness the gods were taking pity on her. Next drawer held pair upon pairs of
socks all black of course, it was a narrow drawer but it was stuffed to the hilt. Hermione walked
to the wardrobe to retrieve a pair of pants. As for undergarments he was on his own. Laying the
clothes on the bed she turned and waited at the table for him, looking through another book as
she did so.

As she heard him enter the room, she noticed the Professor looked rather angry with her.
Good heavens now what have I done, she thought.

"Why did you go through my drawers?" Snape inquired his voice low and menacing.

"I . . . I didn't," she protested, "not really, the first two drawers had what I was looking
for and I never looked any farther. Honest. I wanted to take you somewhere, and I knew you
wouldn't leave here in your night attire." She answered her voice rising, out of shock as much as
fear. "Come and eat while it's still warm." Turning to her plate and closing her book
Hermione's hand was shaking slightly as she took a breath to steady her nerves. Getting angry
with him wasn't going to help matters any. She thought to herself. Nor will it get him to do what
I want.

Severus stared at the girl for a few minutes, trying to decide if she were telling the truth.
Deciding she was he approached the table, without saying another word.

When they had finished eating Severus tried to run his fingers through his hair, in a
nervous fashion. But his hand got caught by the knots forming. Hermione noticed this and
quietly said, "accio brush."

"I'll help you if you'd like," she said hesitantly. "I know how difficult knots can be trying
to get them out in the back if you can't see what your doing."

Snape glared at her for a time then closing his eyes he nodded only once and turned his
body to the side to allow her easier access to his black tresses. Hermione took the still damp hair
in her hands and started brushing it from the bottom, working her way up.

"Mmmmmm," he growled in his throat, but made no other comment.

"Am I hurting you?" She asked, with a slight smile, knowing full well she wasn't.

"No," was his clipped reply.

After using the short brisk gentle strokes, and working some of the knots through with her
fingers, she was finally able to use long massaging strokes. Pulling the hair away from his face.
He always wore it covering his face. When she finished Hermione asked, "do you want to leave
it loose, or should I tie it back?"

"Leave it loose." he growled.

Well now what did she do? This walking on eggshells where he was concerned was
starting to wear on her a bit. "What have I done now?" She asked getting a little more annoyed
with the man. "I thought you may have a preference."

"Oh," came the reply. Then he looked uncomfortable. "No, no preference." His tone
was flat yet guarded.

"Well," Hermione smiled, "lets try something new, okay?" Severus didn't move his head
thought his eyes watched her wearily. He hadn't protested, Hermione thought to herself. So she
went into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out a covered elastic she always carried. Hermione
pulled back only the top section, and secured the elastic. Then she gently turned his face to look
him in the eyes. There was such uncertainty there. As if she were about to make some hurt full
comment. She knew that look well from her own experience.

"So?" He said in his clipped and growling tone.

Hermione smiled. "I think it looks very nice on you." Then Hermione reached behind
the Potions Master and removed the elastic.

Now Severus looked confused. "I thought you said it looked fine." His tone was
beginning to show the strain he was feeling.

"No," Hermione said "I said it looked nice, and it did look very nice. I could see your
eyes." Then after arranging his hair the way he usually wore it. Hermione noticed his eyes were
closed. Speaking softly Hermione finished arranging his hair. "But I like you, just the way you
are." A blush starting to creep up into her cheeks.

Severus' eyes snapped open. and he looked up into her deep brown eyes. Brown was
such a warm color he thought. Then stood up. He couldn't let her know how her words affected
him. No one for as long as he could remember accepted him for the way he was. Not even
Dumbledore. Everyone wanted him for what he could do for them or give them, and yet here
was this slip of a girl accepting him. All of him. Even after everything he had said to her. Even
though sometimes it was for her own good. The snide, rude comments. Berating her in front of
her friends. And still she would stand here in front of the man who had made her school journey
a; lets face it; living hell, and yet, say those kind words to him. He started to move away from
her. If he didn't, something bad would happen. His hands were shaking with the effort not to
touch her.

Hermione could see him tremble, thinking he was having another round of the curse.
"Sir? Are you alright?"

"Yes," he said sounding very uncomfortable, and left the room. Hermione didn't really
believe him so quietly, slowly she followed him. She stood in the door way to the bedroom and
from there could see into the bathroom. The tall figure was standing in the bathroom with a firm
grip on the sink. She was confused. Was he angry with her? Hadn't anyone given him a
compliment before?

Leaning against the frame with her shoulder she thought back to a few months ago. She
had to leave the potions class to run some errands for the Professor. As she entered the hall way
she over heard some of the Slythrins talking about the him. About his appearance. Hermione
couldn't believe how cruel they were being. Both the Professor and herself had just finished
brewing a particularly nasty potion with the 6th years and her appearance wasn't looking as fresh
as she did that morning either. And yet here they were cutting down the head of their house, and
laughing about it. It prickled at her not only for their lack of couth, but their lack of loyalty to
their house. She was just about to say something when out of the corner of her eye she saw the
Professor standing in the door way listening. She turned her head to look at him directly she
knew he had heard. There was a look in his eyes, then just as fast it was gone, only to be
replaced by his usual cold hard stare.

Glaring at Hermione he barked, "get going Miss Granger. I'll not wait all day for you and
your idleness." Then he turned back to the class and firmly shut the door. She had guessed that
he had been embarrassed about what she had witnessed, and it had put all the hard work she had
done with getting him to be civil to her back a step. They didn't speak easily for weeks after. He
didn't offer to let her make potions with him for the longest time. Well, she sighed, lets not
dwell, she told herself. Then she turned to walk back into the sitting room.

"Professor are you ready to go?" She called loudly from the winged chair. Soon he
emerged form the bedroom looking paler than usual. "I don't believe the Headmaster gave you
leave to go out of the castle." He said, with his usual sneer, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Who said anything about leaving the castle? I've heard," she said in a low tone. "That
you have a garden here on the grounds." By the look on his face she was not going to tell him
where she had heard this information.

Snape's eyes narrowed. "So what if I do? Going to run around and tell all your little girl
pals?"

Boy but he was surly today. Hermione held up her hand to stop him in mid rant. "I
just thought you could show it to me. You know, stretch your legs, get some fresh air maybe?
I thought you might enjoy checking on it. That it may feel relaxing to you." Hermione sighed,
"that's all." She lowered her eyes and turned slightly away from him so that he couldn't read the
disappointment there. "If you don't want to go it's fine, Sir." She faltered. and started to walk to
the book shelf. But before she was able to take another step there was a hand on her shoulder.

"Miss Granger, would you care to take a tour of my garden?" The Professor asked his
voice sounding a little strained.

"Yes," came her uncertain reply.

"Then come this way." Severus strode to a corner book shelf and then turned to
Hermione who was stand next to him. "Tell no one of this. Understood?"

Duh! Like who'd believe her anyway? This is like some mad scientist movie she
thought. However outwardly she replied, "of course not Professor."

He pulled one of the books and two shelves slid open to make an arch way.


A/N: Sorry this chapter is shorter. Real life has been beating me into the carpet and holding me
down. I can only hope it was worth the wait. Big hugs to you all, and thank you for all of your
kind words.