There\'s No Place Like Hogwarts

AN- I hope you guys like this chapter. Not much really happens, but it’s one of those bridge chapters. Next chapter will be much better, I promise. Snape chooses his wife in the next one and brings her before Moldy Voldy. So, does anyone still want to do a book club? I just love to read, in fact, I’m reading this book that I once read about 15 years ago ,The Borrowers? Does anyone remember that? About the little people that live under a clock and borrow things? I was at my library, picking up a movie, North and South( it’s excellent so far) and I saw it there. I love going back and reading old books that I read when I was a kid. I just restarted my (this will make some of us feel really old) Sweet Valley High collection. Ah, the adventures of Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield. I’m so grateful for the reviews! I’ll have the next chapter up by the end of the day on Friday. I’m glad that nobody thought that it was rape. Lightgoddess, it’d be all right with me if Lucius dies, but something tells me, that judging by the cover of the HBP, it’s gonna be Dumbledore. It would make so much sense to have Harry facing Voldie all alone. Hey, Voldie’s not a pureblood, he’s a half, and he was in Slytherin. Jenn, I can’t wait to start a bookclub. I think that’s just how Snape would be, but not to worry. Some nice romantic love making will soon follow. Tic Tac, hope you like this chapter.Dreamweaver, I figured that Voldemort never gets any, I mean, does he even have parts? I agree about the lusty, animal sex. Wish Alan Rickman dressed as Snape was here! Lorett, I actually have those socks with the little SpongeBob’s on the back. I LOVE Nickelodeon, and most all of the shows, Fairly Oddparents, Rugrats, All Grown Up, SpongeBob SquarePants, and As Told By Ginger. I put Draco in this chapter, enjoy! He’ll be popping up in the next chapter to take his Mark. Tris, enjoy this chapter, more to follow soon.


“Miss? Miss, you is needing to wake up.”

Jessica awoke to someone shaking her arm and talking in a high squeaky voice. She almost screamed, forgetting where she was when she saw Dobby standing by her. She sat up, forgetting for the moment that she was naked. Dobby’s eyes turned huge as he stared at her chest. Jessica looked down, yelped and pulled the sheet around her.


“Miss..” Dobby began, but Jessica cut him off.


“Jessica, call me Jessica.”


“Miss Jessica, Professors Dumbledore and Snape is wanting to see you. They is in the drawing room. I have clothes for you.” He bowed low and handed her a black dress. Jessica noticed that it was trimmed in green and silver with silver snakes on the hem of the sleeves.


“If’s you is needing anything, just call. I’s helping Professor Snape find his clothes today too.” Dobby said, a sly grin on his face. He vanished with a crack, leaving Jessica embarrassed. She pulled the dress on and walked over to look in the mirror.


“Not too shabby” said her reflection. “Course, you might want to hide that love bite there”


Jessica looked and saw a reddish mark near her collarbone. She pulled her hair over her shoulder and walked out to the drawing room. Dumbledore stood up as she entered the room. He pulled a chair out for her and pushed it in as she sat.


“Thank you.”


Jessica glanced at Snape, who was staring down into his teacup. Not once did he look at her. Dumbledore poured her a cup and asked her how her night was. Oh, last night I met little Snape. Yep, and big Snape was quite pissed about it. Not to mention the fact that your Potions master here banged me so good that it’s hard for me to sit here, Jessica thought to herself. Albus smiled at her, and Jessica panicked wondering if he could read her mind. She hoped not because he looked from her to Snape with an odd smile.


“It was fine.’


“Good. Now, my dear, we seem to have a little problem. I still am rather confused as to how you got here. I think that there may have been a slip in your universe, and you ended up here.”


“So, I’m not dreaming?”

“No, you’re not.”

“How can I get back? I have to get back. My family, what about them?”

“I don’t know. When time and universe ripple like that, it’s hard to say. A person cannot exist on more than one plane.” Albus said slowly, hating to tell the young woman this.

‘So you’re telling me that because I’m in this world, I’m not in my own? What, did everyone I know just forget about me?”

Albus nodded.

‘I’m sorry. But it does seem to be that way.”

Jessica stood up, her heart pounding. What about her mom and dad? Her sister and her nephew? Her boyfriend. She was never going to see then again. Jessica sank to the floor, her feelings blank. She stared quietly at the stones, her eyes getting blurred.

“Jessica, I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, you will always have a family here.” Albus offered. She said nothing as the older wizard placed a hand on her shoulder.

‘Can I ever go back?”

“No.”

Jessica breathed in deeply as she stood back up. As Scarlett O’ Hara would say, she’d think about it tomorrow. If she thought about it right now, she’d end up going crazy. She sat in the chair and looked at the man dressed in purple robes. She flung her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. Albus chuckled.

“We are going to explain your presence by saying that you are the daughter of a friend of mine.You can wander about the castle, if you please to do so. I’d like you to get a wand and learn a few spells, if you are able to do so. Just as a precaution.”

Jessica nodded as she sipped her tea. ‘I’d like to take a few classes, Professor. If that’s okay.”

Albus told her that was just fine. He handed her a small box and watched as she opened it. Inside laid a wand, and she reached in a picked it up. A slight tingle ran up her arm and the tip of the wand glowed briefly.

‘Well, it seems that you have found your wand, Miss Lynch. It’s 13 inches, made of willow and has a unicorn hair for its center. Take care of it well, and try not to carry it around in your back pocket. Madame Pomfrey tells me that she’s looked at enough backsides for this year.” He kissed her check before leaving the room.

Silence filled the room as Jessica sat staring at her wand in awe. She knew the names of some spells from reading the books. She pointed her wand at Snape’s cup and whispered “Accio” Snape’s cup moved a little bit.

“Stop that” cut his voice coldly.

‘You weren’t saying that last night” she chided. His face turned crimson as he lowered his head. Jessica moved over to him, kissed the top of his head and went to walk out the door. Before she left, she turned in the doorway.

“I see you found the shampoo, Sevvie. Good job.”

Jessica ran laughing from the doorway as Snape’s teacup went flying past her head. Her shoes tapped a rhtymn on the stones.

Draco was leaving the common room when he saw a woman emerge from Snape’s room, followed by a teacup. What on Earth was a woman doing in Snape’s personal chambers? He followed her up the hallway, checking out her figure from behind. She was pretty, at least from the rear view. Draco figured that his godfather would at least share this yummy little treat with him; maybe even give her to him. Draco didn’t really care about sloppy seconds. He wasn’t even sure that Snape had sex. Draco shrugged, figuring that Snape was probably a eunuch.

Jessica heard footsteps behind her and stopped. Holding her wand out she spun around and came face to face with a tall, blond boy. She knew right away who he was by the arrogant look on his face and the way he held himself (like he had a huge stick shoved up his ass).

‘Hello, Mr. Malfoy”

Draco’s jaw dropped as he looked upon her. Her voice sounded a bit odd, though. He regained composure and bowed to her, kissing her hand, using his Malfoy charm.

“You have the pleasure of knowing my name, but I don’t believe that I know yours.”

Jessica had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from laughing.

“Well, I’ll tell you Mr. Malfoy, if you can lead me to the Great Hall. I’m afraid that I’ve wandered a bit, and got lost.”

Draco lead the way as Jessica prayed that she could keep her story straight.

“I’m Jessica, a friend of your Headmasters. Well, my mom is his friend. She sent me over here right before she died. I guess I’m stuck here.” She said with a sigh.

“Where are you from?”
“Oh, New York.”

“So you’re American?”

“Yes, but don’t hate me because of my country” Jessica said with a laugh. “We aren’t all money hungry, war like, greedy folks. Only the Republicans are.” She added. Draco looked puzzled for a moment. What was a Republican?

They entered the hall and Jessica saw that Albus was motioning for her to sit up with him. She said goodbye to Draco and walked in between tables. She walked up to the head table and took a seat by Albus, quickly whispering in his ear what she had told Draco about herself.

Albus stood up and called for attention.

“ I have an announcement to make. We have a new addition to our fine school”

“Maybe Snape’s getting sacked” Harry whispered to Ron. “He looks right pissed this morning. Maybe he got up on the wrong side of the coffin” Ron grinned wickedly until Hermione kicked him under the table. Rubbing his shin, he turned back to Professor Dumbledore.

“This is Miss Jessica Lynch, from New York. She’s going to be staying with us here, and I’m sure you will all make her feel welcome” Dumbledore geustured towards a young woman who stood up next to him.

“Wow” Ron and Harry said together. A few catcalls echoed through the hall and the woman sat down quickly.

“I’d love to make her feel at home.” Harry said dreamily, staring at the raven haired woman who was talking to Professor Flitwick. She then looked up at him, her eyes scanning his face. Heat crept up Harry’s face as she looked on. Eventully, she looked away, but her stare was not unnoticed.

‘She was looking right at you, mate” Ron said. “She might be sweet on you”

A cold voice cut across their table. “You wish Potter. You’d have a better chance of the mudblood putting down her books than you would of getting Jessica to talk to you. She’s got better taste than that.” Draco said coolly.

Harry wanted to lunge for Draco, but saw Professor Lupin looking at him from the staff table. He turned back to his toast and eggs, ignoring the laughter from the Slytherin table. Hermione was staring at the new girl, chewing slowly on an orange slice.

“She’s not sitting with the students, so she must not be here to learn. I wonder if she’s going to help out with the teachers?” she asked.
“I wonder if she’s related to Professor Snape? Or Malfoy. She did come into the hall with him, and did you see the design on her dress” Ginny cut in. Hermione nodded, but Ron and Harry looked lost.

“You boys. Only interested if it’s Quidditch. She had silver snakes embroided on her dress.And it was trimmed in green. Slytherin colors.” Hermione said. They finshed up breakfast and walked out of the hall heading for their classes.

“Oh, who cares how she was dressed. She could have been waering Death Eater robes for all I care” Ron said a grin on his face.

“I assure you, Mr. Weasley, there is nothing flattering about Death Eaters.” Snape’s voice cut thorugh the air. Get to class.You too, Potter. I need to speak with Miss Granger .” Ron walked slowly away, glancing over his shoulder. He saw that Jessica stood behind Snape.

“What classes do you have today, Miss Granger?”

“Transfiguration, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures and Potions, sir.”

“Very well. I would like you to take Miss Lynch with you.” Hermione nodded, watching as Snape pulled Jessica close to him and whispered something in her ear. She looked at him oddly, smiled and whispered something back, which made Snape pale. Snape left, his robes billowing out as he walked away.

“Hi, I’m Jessica, but you can call me Jess. All my friends do.And I’ve been waiting to meet you, Ron and Harry. Albus has told me so much about you all.”

Hermione went to say something but Ron and Harry bounded around the corner where they were waiting. Harry, who wasn’t paying attention ran smack into Jessica. Since Harry was a good deal taller, he ended up bashing his chin on her head, which resulted in a bloddy lip.

‘Oh, I’m sorry, Harry. I am, really” Jessica said, taking the sleeve of her dress and holding it to Harry’s bleeding lip. Harry turned beet red as the pretty girl fussed over him.

‘It’s my fault, really.” Harry said quickly, shoving her hand away. She smelled sweet, like vanilla and flowers.

“You should really get some ice for that” Jessica said as they walked to the Transfiguration classroom. Harry’s lip had stopped bleeding, but was swollen.

‘Ah, I get hurt worse during Quidditch. You should come see it sometime.”

“I’d love to Harry” Jessica said as they settled into desks. She looked forward to all the wonderful things that she was going to learn that day in her first ever magic class.

In the Headmaster’s office Snape was sitting down with Albus, urgent to tell him what Voldemort had ordered.

“He wishes me to find a wife, Albus. In two weeks time. And she must conceive that night. What shall I do?”


Next chapter

Draco gets ‘marked’
Jessica tries Potion making and flying
Time’s up for Snape as he meets Voldemort with his wife