In Dreams

Apologies for any grammatical errors and otherwise. Don’t employ a beta, so all blame falls on me. lol Enjoy!

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Before drifting off to a dreamless sleep (for once) the night before, Hermione had come to the conclusion that she would simply ask, no, demand to speak to her Professor the next day. She would have to find a way to convince him to continue her lessons. In all honesty, she was scared out of her wits at the prospect that he would blame her for the whole fiasco that had ensued the evening prior. However, ever the brain, instead of letting her more primitive emotions overcome her, she instead employed her analytical mind to observe the situation from every direction. Her conclusion was she would need to confront him immediately... she only hoped he wouldn't make things too difficult. Either way, it would most certainly prove to be very interesting, and hopefully not too painful.

Hermione stiffened her resolve and entered the Potions room. Advanced Potions was enticingly challenging for the intelligent Gryffindor, not counting the fact that Snape was constantly breathing down everyone's neck, hers included. There were few people who had dared to pursue the subject after their fifth year, but thankfully for Hermione, Harry, as part of his training to become an auror, was there to keep her sane. The need for some type of friendly face was made evident as a tall blonde Slytherin shoved by the pair with a simpering sneer. It was a constant, though not unexpected, relief to them that his cronies Crabbe and Goyle had been unable to join them due to their abysmal OWL performances. To be entirely candid, Hermione was still amazed that they were in any classes at all, though she supposed the Divination OWL wasn't exactly difficult, even they could fake their way through that one. All-in-all, the benefit was that Draco's powers of physical intimidation diminished drastically without his ape-like friends to protect him.

As Draco seated himself in front, he turned and gave Hermione a mocking wink, whispering across the room to her so that none of the other students would overhear.

"Hey there Mudblood. You're good with wands, right? Care to have a go with mine?" His evil laughter softly filled the room as Hermione turned various shades of crimson. She kept her self-control, but unfortunately, Harry had heard everything.

"You bloody git. Apologize right now or you will regret the day you were born," he hissed menacingly, his emerald eyes flashing dangerously. Hermione gently pushed Harry back onto his stool, silently pleading with him to let it be. Draco's words had hurt, but it wasn't worth a fight breaking out. This was dangerous territory.

"What is it Potter? You want to keep her talents with a wand all too yourself?" Things never change. She thought as she gazed at the boy in pity and anger. Well, that's not entirely true... Hermione admitted internally. Draco had gone beyond the bounds of simple childhood dislike, and in following his father's footsteps, had begun on his unfortunate path to becoming a Death Eater. He had made his choice. Admittedly, there had been little hope for him, but they had tried, Dumbledore had tried. Professor Snape had tried. It was then that she realized she would be in the presence of Malfoy junior and senior at the meetings with Snape. She shuddered. If he didn't protect her... she knew what went on. She would be a toy, something to be used and thrown about. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that Draco would simply jump at the chance to have a go at her, Mudblood though she was. Yes, she would most certainly be one of the featured festivities if she wasn't careful.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Harry leapt off his stool and crossed the room in three easy strides. "I swear it, Malfoy. If you don't give Hermione an apology right now, I'm going to show you what it's like to be a ferret again." Malfoy didn't flinch, though at the mention of the word ferret he did turn paler. The entire room had become deadly silent, everyone waiting for the first curse to be spoken. Unfortunately for Harry, Professor Snape stepped into the room just as Harry's wand was pointing menacingly at his enemy's throat.

"Potter, put that ridiculous wand away and sit back down. Twenty points from Gryffindor and a detention," he said in a rather bored tone. Harry moved reluctantly back to his seat as Hermione shot him a sympathetic look. He simply shrugged at her. Her focus, however, was on the Potions teacher. He had caught her eye for a moment, and instead of the dislike that usually brewed there she thought she saw something akin to empathy. She realized then that he had heard everything from outside. She was swept into a flurry of emotions, but anger was the one that made its way to the surface. He had just stood out there and let Draco say those things to her!

Before she could get too worked up, her mind halted her mid-thought. Of course. He would have to play into Draco's ploy, and interrupting his fun would not be the best of plans if he wanted to keep Hermione safe. He would have to keep Voldemort and his Death Eaters from finding that he had any sort of concern for her. He really did have a hard life, having to wear such different masks all the time. Different masks of the same deity. She mused. When it came to it, he was the same man on the inside, forced to be a key player in this horribly written play. She only hoped that this performance would not be one that resembled a Shakespearean tragedy. When she caught his eye again, she gave him a brief encouraging smile before she set about with the day's assignment.

Severus had watched as Malfoy swept past the pair, knowing that some sort of confrontation was about to befall. Although nobody would guess, it tore him apart inside to see this boy treading the same deadly path as Severus himself had when he was at that age. He had tried to steer him in the other direction in rather subtle ways to avoid any danger, but the boy was fading. Unfortunately, for Draco there would be no chance to revoke his choice. His father would never let his son live if he changed his mind. No, it was too late for him. Draco's fate was sealed.

Fortunately, the day's lesson went by without further incident, though their was a brooding tension that sat constantly throughout the room. As the students packed their bags at the end of class, Severus swept across the room to the duo.

"Potter, I expect you to report to my lab at eight this evening. Do wear something comfortable as you will be scrubbing cauldrons for most of the night." He leered at the boy, who in turn glared furiously at the tall man. With that, Harry swept his backpack over his shoulder and motioned for Hermione to follow. She was just about to get up her courage and ask to speak to her Professor, but she was beat to the punch as he turned to her. "Miss Granger, I would like a word." Over her shoulder, Severus saw a rather knowing grin flank Malfoy's face as he paused at the classroom door. Noticing the boy's hesitation, Snape nodded almost imperceptibly to him and watched as he exited the room with a small bounce to his step. What a git.

Once everyone had left, Severus closed the door quietly and placed a Silencing charm on the door to prevent any eavesdroppers from listening in. He turned to face his student, but before he could even gather his thoughts, she had already begun talking. "Professor. I want to apologize for my actions last night. I should have known better not to perform a counter-spell in that manner, and I had no business viewing any of your personal memories." She paused as a flashback to the night before engulfed her. He had looked so broken in that moment... it was as if her reaction had confirmed his worst fears that he was, indeed, a monster, despite his attempts to make amends. Clearing these thoughts from her mind, she plunged on valiantly. "I know you didn't mean to do those things. You had to. You didn't have a choice." But before she could continue what she wanted to say, he held up a hand to silence her.

"No, Miss Granger, I did have a choice. I chose to be what I am. I didn't have to do those things, but I did. I hurt that woman, those people. I have tortured, raped, and killed. I am no more a man than the Dark Lord himself." In this moment, Hermione was able to see past the hardened man in front of her. What she saw frightened her more than the menacing presence he had been to her for so long. What she saw... was defeat. A man who had given up any hope of happiness and joy, who felt that he was worth nothing more than to live and die trying to set things right. His entire being was founded upon the actions of his past. His spirit, what little of it remained, was left cold and forgotten.

"What makes someone a man? It's the choices he makes, not how he starts things, but how he ends them. Even if you don't believe it, you are a hero Professor Snape. Maybe not to yourself, maybe not to anyone else, but you are to me." She took a step towards him, watching as his uncomfortable look increased not only from the conversation, but also their close proximity. "Perhaps, one day you will let the true Professor Snape shine through, and you will realize you are worth something to someone, no matter how hard that is to believe." She held his gaze with such intensity that he was stunned into silence. He could only stare at the young woman before him who seemed to have transformed into an adult before his very eyes. It was somewhat terrifying. "I will meet you at your office at eight tomorrow evening. Have a nice day, Professor." She gave him a small smile and was gone.

As Hermione left the room, her words were still resounding in her Professor's head. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought that this girl, this seventh year Gryffindor know-it-all, might actually care about what might happen to him. That maybe she cared whether he lived or died.

And had Severus Snape dared to hope, for one moment in his life, he would have known it was true.

***

That night, Severus couldn't sleep. He lay in his bed, thinking about what the girl had said to him earlier. It had been a long time since he had confronted his own inner demons, and for some reason he simply couldn't avoid it after this afternoon's incident. He could still hear her words in his head... she thought he was a hero. He had longed for recognition of his acts for a long time, but now that they had finally been acknowledged, he didn't know how he felt. The triumph he had been sure he would experience was nowhere to be found. What was in its place was humility. He felt for the first time that he didn't deserve that prestigious title. No, it belonged to someone who had done much less evil than he had. Gods, it had been so much easier just be emotionally dead.

Groaning loudly, he threw his sheets aside in a frustrated manner. Getting up, he put his head in his hands, trying to rid himself of the thoughts that refused to go away. Why do things have to be so damned complicated. It had been so easy to pretend that he wasn't wanted, that he didn't care. But he quickly realized that was a lie. Dumbledore cared about his fate as well as a majority of the faculty (in this he excluded Sibyll as she would most likely enjoy his painful death if she could claim she had seen it all coming). Even some of the students cared about him, something that was quite a shock to the snarky man. But what most bothered him was that it was impossible for him to believe that the girl could have any sort of concern for him when he had only ever been nasty to her and her friends. And yet she had said so, plain as day.

"Severus?" A demanding voice had come from the main living area of his quarters. He cringed at the familiar voice of Malfoy senior, and suddenly recalled the exchange earlier between himself and Draco when he had asked Hermione to remain behind. News travels fast in the wizarding world.

He made his way into the other room and found the blonde man's head floating lazily in the fireplace. "Ah, there you are. Can't sleep?"

"When have I ever," replied Snape with a bored smirk. "What do you want Lucius?" He was uncomfortable at the glint in his old friend's eyes, something that told him he indeed knew of what had transpired. Lucius was known to revel in the plight of his fellow Death Eaters whenever the Dark Lord turned his anger on one in particular. His 'encouraging talks' were usually just his way of proving his supposed superiority.

"Draco informed me that you spoke to Miss Granger this afternoon... in private." He smiled sadistically to his cohort, and looked up expectantly. Severus sighed and seated himself on a couch across from the fireplace. He took a moment to collect his thoughts before proceeding carefully.

"Well, yes. Unfortunately I was unable to put her under the spell due to the old fool's meddling, he came to my classroom just as I was about to perform the curse. I don't know how he does it but whenever I am trying to do something useful for our Lord he manages to get in my way." He hoped this would throw Lucius off as well as buy him and Hermione some time. He wasn't quite ready to bring her yet, there were still some serious holes in the plan that they had failed to work out. He would have to make sure to do that soon as it was apparent that Hermione's arrival was happening later than the Death Eaters had hoped.

"Ah, yes. He seems to have a rather annoying knack for that. Well, you'll just have to try again won't you? I do believe the Dark Lord is getting rather... impatient." Knowing that Malfoy could care less as to anyone's fate but his own, he simply nodded.

"Soon, Lucius. But I really must get some rest, I have some rather hopeless students to teach in the morning." The man nodded curtly in reply and wished him a pleasant evening. Right, like you wouldn't rather see me dead.

With this thought, he made his way back to his room and collapsed on his bed. He would have to talk to the Headmaster in the morning. There was no avoiding the girl's situation, and personally he would rather avoid having the Cruciatus curse aimed his was any more than was necessary. His mind then drifted again to the girl turned woman. She was strong, and he had no doubt would be able to take care of herself during the impending trials. However, his gnawing fear for her innocence tore at him. He saw that smile she had given him. She does have a nice smile, he thought rather incoherently as he began to nod off. Finally exhausted, he was led of to a pleasant sleep filled with comforting dreams of a certain bushy-haired Gryffindor.

***

The next few weeks passed without much incident. Hermione's Occlumency lessons with Snape were greatly improved, though he was still the rude man he had always been. Despite this, Hermione was becoming quite advanced in the skill; in fact he had only managed to enter her mind once since the first incident.

"Miss Granger, I believe you have greatly improved..." he said as she smiled, having successfully blocked the spell once again. This was the first time he had complimented her, and it caused her to blush at his sincerity. It was becoming increasingly easy for her to block the attacks, and she couldn't help feeling proud of this. "I believe you might be ready." At this, Hermione paled and her smile quickly turned into a look of fear.

"I... I don't know Professor. Maybe I should have a few more lessons, or maybe brush up on my defense spells." Her look was pleading. Now that it came to it, she was terrified of what was to come. However, she realized that it would have to happen sooner or later. And if it didn't happen sooner, she could possibly be the cause of her Professor's untimely demise.

"Miss Granger, I realize this must be terrifying. The Headmaster and I have spoken about this, and we have decided that in two weeks time you will accompany me to your first meeting." His hardened facade blocked the fear and horror that welled inside of him as he thought about what might happen to this girl if he failed to protect her. "I give you my word that as long as I am capable, as long as I am living, no harm will come to you when you are there with me." His words were full of reassurance and they did comfort her slightly. "Would you like to give it one more try before we call it a night?" he asked, knowing that she wouldn't be able to go on much further tonight.

"Yeah, I think I can do that." She tried to ready herself, to clear her mind, but his voice rang out the spell before she could fully collect herself.

Everything was quiet. They were in a familiar white room. Hmm... the hospital again? There she was, sitting by the bed again. The same scene replayed, and he watched as the boy passed on once more. This time, the memory carried on as he watched the events unfold.

"Jimmy? Are you asleep?" The little girl reached out to her brother and gently prodded him to get him to wake up. "Don't go to sleep Jimmy, it's not bedtime yet, we can still play before Mommy says we have to sleep." She looked at him, and wondered why he was playing this joke. "Jimmy," she said in a stern tone that was characteristic of her even in her later years, "this isn't funny. I don't like this game." She wanted him to stop being silly, to play with her. "Jimmy, why won't you play with me?" As she said this, her Mother entered the hospital room, and when she saw the flatline of the machine and her young daughter's attempts to get her brother to awaken, a sob broke out. The girl twisted around in her seat, her eyes full of hurt. "Mommy? Why won't Jimmy answer me?"

The young woman stared at her little girl, her heart torn into pieces. How could she possibly make her child understand? "Jimmy isn't going to wake up anymore, honey," she said, silent tears trailing down her cheeks.

"But why not? He hates taking naps," she said knowledgeably. The little girl looked so confused.

"Jimmy is in heaven now sweetie, he's not coming back." The little girl stared at her mother as she finally understood that her brother would never play with her again.

Severus ripped himself from the spell and stared at the girl in front of him. He heard her silently whisper her brother's name. She hadn't even tried to withdraw from the spell, she had just let it all happen. He watched her as she stared at her hands.

In truth, Severus had had no idea what this girl had gone through. He had always assumed she had gone through life in a bubbly sort of contentment, not a care in the world. He knew better now. No child that young should have to experience the grief of losing a loved one. There was no doubt that she and her brother were immensely close, even at such a young age. It was evident in her face now that this loss still haunted her.

This new knowledge gave him an immensely uncomfortable feeling, something entirely foreign to him. What was it? Sympathy? Perhaps. Sympathy for someone who had suffered just as he had when he was young, losing someone whom had actually cared. It was then that he realized how alike they were. He found this incredibly disturbing.

"I think we will end there for tonight," he said quietly. The girl nodded, fresh tears waiting to be shed as she attempted to calmly collect her things and after a few seconds exited the room silently. Long after she left Severus stood staring at the door wondering how he could have been so heartless.

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A/Ns- Sorry for the delay, I had a huge Bio test as well as a paper for my Fiction class to conjure this past week. I am officially free for spring break now, so that’s why this chapter has appeared today (I was unceremoniously attacked and held captive by some rather ruthless bunnies). I almost cried when I wrote Hermione’s memory… I hope it wasn’t too much. Please let me know what you think.

To My Dearest Reviewers:

Anon: For your first review. As far as Harry telling Hermione to go, in my opinion, Harry would have to be a ‘dolt’ not to realize that he should tell Dumbledore about anything odd (especially when it has to do with strange dreams) by the time seventh year rolls around. He also worries about her I'm sure. For the second review, Voldemort was in one of his more humorous moods, and I’m sure if any had dared to agree with his proclamation, they would have quickly met the receiving end of the Avada curse. Trust me, he’ll get right angry and in character later on when things aren’t to his liking. And for the third? I see what you mean about Hermione’s ‘outburst’. I suppose I didn’t quite explain it well, I meant for her to try to offer a bunch of possibilities while being in a rather fragile state. I personally think she needs to have some sort of brief mental shutdown with all the stress of the war and lack of sleep (you should see me without a good night’s rest. lmao). Thanks so much for your constructive criticism (I’m scared of any flames that might come my way by future reviewers), and I hope this chapter suits. Let me know if you spot anything peculiar.

Bree: Why thank you! I hope you enjoy this latest installment as my muse finally decided to pay me another visit.

EmZ: Not quite sure if this is what you were looking for, but I’ve always pictured Hermione as an extremely perceptive person, and I wanted her to see through to the real Severus Snape that we all know is hiding in there somewhere.

Eddie: I hope you liked it! Don’t worry, many more Draco ‘run-ins’, and I believe you will enjoy seeing the softer side of Snape when he appears. *has SUCH a good plot bunny in mind* Most of all, thank you for your compliments! I’m shocked that anyone actually reads this, and furthermore seems to enjoy it. I only hope that the nine continue to aid my keyboard, otherwise I will be in a tight spot.