My Worst Fear

I figure I should put a note on my new chapter, since Shade did so. She wrote a story...yesterday, to my knowledge, based off the same song and, up until recently, titled the same, as well. This was a coincidence and she has since been kind enough to change the title of hers (My Greatest Fear) to put an end to any confusion it could\'ve caused. Our stories are not connected in any way, though hers is very good and I suggest you read it if you like this story, lol. We\'ve worked things out and there are (at least to my knowledge) no hard feelings...not that there ever really were. Just wanted that cleared up

Anyway, on to other news. Thank you for all the reviews!! And here\'s your next chapter!

This chapter is based on a song again, so just as before:
[…] = lyrics
‘…’ = inner thoughts (important a little down the way)
“…” = outer monologue

~*~

They apparated to the grassy area just outside the great gates that blocked the path to the school. Once there, Severus went to pull Harry by the hand towards the gates, but was surprised to find that his young lover was not following his lead. He turned around to see what was the matter, and when he did, he saw a look of pure mischief in the green eyes

Before he knew what was happening, Harry was pulling him towards the outer edge of the forbidden forest. When they reached the haven of the secret enclosure where no one could see them, Harry pushed Severus up against a tree, smiled wickedly, and then began to snog his dear old professor as if it were the last thing he’d ever do

Once they pulled away from the heated kiss, due to lack of oxygen in their lungs, they stared deeply into each others eyes, trying desperately to tell the other how much they meant to them without the use of words. They wanted to assure the other that they would never let anything get in-between them ever again…they would fight for their love to be accepted if it were necessary

[Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you\'ll search no more
Don\'t tell me it\'s not worth tryin\' for
You can\'t tell me it\'s not worth dyin\' for
You know it\'s true
Everything I do - I do it for you]

“Harry, I…” Severus began, but was cut short by Harry’s right hand being placed over his mouth as he shook his head softly, to which he raised one perfect eyebrow, mastered through years of practice

“I know. Now it\'s my turn to make everything up to you: leaving, tricking and deceiving you. Severus, you are my world, my light…everything I live for is embodied in one person: you. If I had been wrong today…if you weren’t planning on taking me back…I don’t know what I would’ve done with myself, Sev, I honestly don’t,” Harry paused and searched deeper, more pleadingly into Severus’ eyes then he had ever done before. Somehow, he needed to make this man see that Harry himself was the fool. Somehow, he had to get the older man’s trust back

Harry moved his left hand down to capture Severus’ right, and then he slowly brought it up in what little space there was between the two bodies. He finally placed the older man’s hand over Harry\'s heart, his own hand keeping it in place there, then continued with his speech: “This,” he put pressure on their trapped hands for emphasis, “is truth. I may be able to hide everything else from you, and even from myself, but the feelings of the human heart are too big a part of someone to ignore. My current situation, however, has me in a new world completely. For once in my life, my heart is not my own. My heart now belongs to you.” ‘Don’t break it, don’t break it, don’t break it’ Harry pleaded silently inside his own head, repeating the words as though they were his new favorite mantra, “I love you, Severus”

[Look into my heart - you will find
There\'s nothin\' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all I would sacrifice
Don\'t tell me it\'s not worth fightin\' for
I can\'t help it there\'s nothin\' I want more
Ya know it\'s true
Everything I do - I do it for you]

Under his hand, Severus could feel the quickening pace of the heart, almost as if the organ itself was agreeing to the words. Harry didn’t have to tell him all this, for deep down the older man knew. However, there is a strange satisfaction that is acquired from hearing the thoughts you, up until the point of admission, hoped to be true being clarified and proven to you, finally making them real and substantial

Tears built unbidden in the Potions Master’s eyes, much to his displeasure, but he couldn’t really bring himself to give a damn about that right now; all he cared about was Harry, and holding onto the feelings he was being given

Harry saw the tears glistening in the black orbs and had to fight his own from forming, though the effort was futile. Instead, he leaned forward and whispered, “No, shh, don’t cry, Sev’rus; please don’t cry,” as he gently rubbed their cheeks together as his eyes closed, trying to sooth the man while attempting to keep his own tears from falling at the same time. He finally removed his right hand from the other man’s soft lips and moved it so it now held the back of his head

“Harry,” Severus roughly whispered into the other man’s ear, but he was at a loss of what else to say to the younger man…his words had left him speechless

Harry pulled back and examined everything about Severus’ face to silently assess whether the other man was ok with everything he had voiced. To his relief, he found only love and longing in the eyes of the man he loved, so he smiled a small, shy smile and asked, “Maybe we should continue this in your chambers?”

Snape cocked his head to one side and furrowed his brow in confusion, “You mean our chambers?” Then realizations hit him; an alternate meaning: “They are still our chambers, aren’t they?” fear gripping his heart and finding its way into his eyes, thus making them unable to focus on one thing. He wanted desperately to grab hold of the man in front of him and never let him go all of a sudden

“Severus, please,” Harry begged, placing his hand on Severus’ cheek to force him to focus on him once more, “they are. They will always be our chambers, love, always”

“Oh, Harry,” Severus said, so lost, so vulnerable. The man needed to be held in a tight embrace by his Harry, but he didn’t want to initiate it. However, Harry did it for him, as if the message was written on a billboard and placed atop the older man’s head for all to see

“I’m here, Severus; I’ll always be here. I won’t ever leave you again,” he held him tighter, and Severus reciprocated every force of it

[There\'s no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There\'s nowhere - unless you\'re there
All the time - all the way]

The pair remained that way for a good few minutes until Severus said, “I think you were right”

Harry looked up from his comfortable position with his head in the crook of the other man’s neck in confusion, “about what?”

“Maybe we should continue this in our chambers,” he smirked, and Harry smiled back, grabbed Severus’ hand in his, and led the way into Hogwarts. As they walked through the halls on their way to the dungeons, they barely passed any students, and the ones they did happen to pass merely smiled and waved at them, used to their antics by now

They reached the door to the potions classroom with ease, then swiftly made their way to the door off to the right which led to their private chambers and, speaking the password (white roses - Harry’s favorite, which then became ‘their’ flower), walked into the welcoming room

When Severus closed the door, Harry was on him again, kissing with such fire that, if Severus were wood, would surely have burned him from the intensity. After pillaging his lovers mouth, Harry quickly moved down to kiss and bite at Severus’ neck, unbuttoning the other man’s outer robe before moving on to the black button-up underneath

“Harry,” Severus gasped, both from lack of air and the intense feelings of pleasure his young lover was causing, “bed. Please.” he managed to get out between gasps of breath

“Right, probably be more comfortable,” Harry agreed, stopping his ministrations, “Sorry about that,” he smiled sheepishly

“There’s nothing to forgive, but now to the bed, before you kill me by not touching me again,” Severus growled and pushed Harry towards the bed which wasn’t too far away, and which Harry, not so elegantly, landed upon on his back

The picture the young man made: flushed, heavy breathing, eyes a dark green with lust; almost made Severus growl again, but he refrained. No, instead he actually took action and climbed onto the bed over his lover, leveling him with a predatory gaze. He stayed like that: positioned over the prone form of Harry, not touching any part of him and simply watching him squirm, for quite some time. That is, until Harry took matters into his own hands

Severus leaning over him on all fours, close enough to see and smell but not close enough to touch, was driving Harry into a heightened state of arousal. He had to get some friction, and it had to be soon. So he reached one hand up to grab the back of Severus’ neck and greedily pulled him down to kiss him once more, causing Severus to have to lower the rest of his body down to ease any discomfort that not doing so would’ve caused. Both the men moaned when their bodies touched fully

“Severus, please,” Harry begged as he started to remove the other man’s clothes once more as soon as their kiss ended, causing Severus to duplicate his actions and start working on Harry’s clothes

In no time at all, both men were naked and Severus was now occupied teasing Harry’s nipples and eliciting guttural moans from the man below him as he writhed in pleasure

“Sev’rus, oh Sev’rus,” Harry slurred, grabbing a hold of the mans head, keeping him in the same spot

“What do you want, Harry?” Severus looked up from his position and asked huskily as his hand drew intricate designs lightly on Harry’s sides, knowing it drove him crazy

“You,” he gasped, “I need to feel you inside me, Severus, please,” he writhed under Severus’ ministrations once more

“Then I’ll have to get up, love,” Severus said and proceeded to do so, but he didn’t get far before Harry grabbed him by the shoulders and begged:

“No! Don’t leave me, Sev, please don’t”

“I need to get the lubricant real quick, that’s all. I’ll be back before you know it,” Severus promised, moving a hair from in front of Harry’s eye lovingly and kissing his forehead lightly before untangling himself from the younger man. Not 10 seconds later and he was back with the tube of lubricant

Once back on the bed, Severus put some of the contents of the tube onto his fingers and rubbed it in slightly to make it warmer to the touch. He then moved in between Harry’s legs and began to insert his pointer finger within Harry’s tight hole, which wrung a cry of pleasure from the man below him, which in turn brought a smile to Severus’ face

After about a torturous minute of that, Severus added a second finger to the mix and curved his fingers, exactly the way he knew to, so as to cause maximum pleasure, which caused Harry to cry out in ecstasy. It wasn’t until Severus had stretched his young lover with three of his fingers that he removed them altogether

Harry whined at the loss of the fingers, but quickly forgot about his argument when he looked up and saw Severus coating his own incredibly hard cock with lube, a look of controlled pleasure on his face. Once he found it sufficiently covered, he rearranged himself so he was now positioned at Harry’s entrance, able to look him in the eye

As Severus slowly entered Harry, the two were involved in a soft, sweet kiss. This was their time to relieve any doubts. This was their time to prove their love. This was their time to show the other that they would do absolutely anything asked of them to save the others life. This was their time…point blank

Their love making this day was slow and purposeful, almost leisurely, as if to say, “we have forever”, which it was true, they did

[Don\'t tell me it\'s not worth tryin\' for
I can\'t help it there\'s nothin\' I want more
I would fight for you - I\'d lie for you
Walk the wire for you - Yeah I\'d die for you]

In the afterglow, Harry curled up with his head on Severus’ chest, and right before they fell asleep, Severus spoke up: “Harry…can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what is it?” Harry yawned, not bothering to even raise his head, too comfy to care

“You love me, right?”

“Of course, with all of my heart”

“Good. Because you have made me the happiest man in these last three years that we’ve spent together. You are my life, Harry, and you have my heart to take the place of that missing one of yours that I seem to have,” they both smirked a little at that statement, “and I want you to keep it…forever, if you’ll have it that long,” Severus sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair as Harry finally found the ability to look up, “What I mean to say, Harry, is will you do me the honor or continuing to make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

The look of shock didn’t last long on young Potter’s face, for it was quickly replaced by a look of pure happiness and love, “Yes, Severus, of course I’ll marry you,” Harry beamed widely as Severus released the breath he didn’t know he had been holding

“Why you would still want your old greasy potions master is beyond my logic, but that doesn’t make me any less happy, and I\'m not in the habit of questioning my good fortune,” Severus said before the two kissed passionately and deeply once more

[Ya know it\'s true
Everything I do - I do it for you]

~*~

So that’s chapter four…

The song that was “playing” this time was ‘(Everything I do) I do it for you’ by Bryan Adams

But, as always, I hope you liked it and that it wasn’t disappointing

There\'s only one more chapter left here, and it\'s really very long, if memory serves. I like the next chapter...hell, I like this whole work, lol. Usually the more I read a story of mine, the less I like it...but this one hasn\'t lost anything in my re-readings (ok...well maybe a little), and that\'s good for me

PLEASE CONTINUE TO REVIEW SO I CAN FINISH THIS THING UP