Lupinus Sublimis

Title: Lupinus Sublimis
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not mine. *sinff sniff* JK Rowling\'s.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Remus Lupin falls in-love with his comrade Sirius Black. He
can\'t bring himself to tell Sirius so he turns to art. He writes
beautiful sexually explicit poetry anonymously and drives Sririus
crazy with lust.
Category: Romance, Angst, Unresolved Sexual Tensions, a little Humor.
Feedback: Owls! Owls! Owls! Owls! Owls!
Author\'s Note: I have been reading too much Medieval Epics. This one
is begining to sound like a Cahuser and a Dante put together by now.
But hey! I like Chauser and Dante so I love this. Thanks so much to
all the wonderful people that have given me feedback. This chapter, I
dedicate to thy honor.

Lupinus Sublimis
Chapter 4

He knew not how long he had been running, or for how much
longer his lungs could take the heavy pressure of physical exertion.
His mind was in such chaos to amount to cataclysmic proportions;
nothing made sense. Remus wished to no longer be. He felt the
wretched loneliness of unrequited love pushing him to desire an end
in further manners than any previous moment in his life. Such was his
pain.

Remus felt the excruciating pain of a sharp fall when his
knees hit the stone. No longer did tears travel from the corners of
his swollen eyes to his jaw line. The wind hath sundered him from the
salty liquid. He kneeled there, with his knees aching, his hands
pressed to his face as the boy rocked slowly back and forth.
(Buffoon! Idiotic moron to have ever believed for one second that
Sirius would ever look your way. Clown. Ha-ha-ha. Just end it now,
just end it!)

The Green Eyed Monster has no mercy over his prey. He
consumes the victim in his burning maw filling every pore with
jealousy so strong that reason cannot cure. Remus felt once again
like a forgotten little infant in the wilderness and sadly concluded
that his mother had named his being correctly; Remus. Tearless sobs
burned his throat as he looked around to find out where his legs had
taken him. The sounds coming out of his lips came to a halt when he
realized that he had never been in this area of the castle not even
with the help of the marvelous Marauders Map. It looked to be an
ancient armory. His body rose from the ground and the boy stumbled a
little due to the pain, his fingers grasping metal where the flesh
parted. He placed his fingers in between his lips to suck on the
blood and noticed that he had used a double ax for support.

The exhaustion along with the pain throughout his body made
Remus realize that he did not want to end his life after all; and
there certainly were enough ways to end it in the armory where he
was. Perhaps, just perhaps the future might have a role for him to
play. This insane and very unbelievable conviction changed his mind,
which was beginning to function in the logical ways that were so
characteristic of Remus. In spite of all this, his anger and jealousy
were still taking vicious bites out of him.

He gazed at the cuirass (breastplate of antiquity) that was
at level with his eyes. The man that had worn such a piece of
protection must have been an extraordinary fighter; the thing looked
as if it weighed ninety pounds in the very least. His obsession with
history began to kick in and with the mind of an explorer he began to
limp his way around the magnificent object; The Green Eyed Monster
was loosing the battle against reason. Remus was not weak. His bloody
fingers rested on the dusty shield and traced intricate meander
patters on its edge; reminiscent of Roman style and yet with a touch
of Celtic lacings. With great surprise he realized that such full
body protection was not fashionable in the times of the Caesars. The
battle ax was distinctly of Saxon craftsmanship. \"Romanesque. Oh
Merlin! Carolingian; nine hundred and six- eighty Anno Domini.\"

Excitement ran through his veins like the pure white smoke of
a Patronus Charm. Either he was hallucinating or this was a forgotten
piece of humanity\'s patrimony. His eyes grew wide in shock as he
began to whisper the runic engraved on the metallic knuckles of the
armor. \"Godric Gryff- Oh shit! Gryffindor!\"

His soul grappled The Green Eyed Monster with which he had
been battling and consumed it, leaving only room for awe. His fingers
had stopped bleeding. He realized that in order not to live in shame
for the rest of his life he would have to muster the said bravery
that had landed him in the house named after the man upon whose form
this armor had been graced.

Remus fisted the flowing sleeve of his dark uniform robes and
rubbed it against his wet eyes sniffing at the same time. He had made
his decision; the armor was his only witness. Remus Lupin would take
it like a man, and a brave man at that. He would face the world and
pretend nothing had ever happened.

*******

Sirius watched Remus\' departure as if time had chosen to
present the occurrence in slow motion in order to prolong the
suffering of it. When he no longer saw Remus everything snapped back
to regular speed and he found himself not knowing what to do. Should
he follow Remus? Should he turn around with all due haste and use his
fingernails to blind the youth standing behind him?

The dark haired boy chose neither of them. He turned on his
heel and made his way up to the dormitory but not without shooting
daggers at the brown haired maggot with his gaze. Up he ran feeling
as if he would never reach his destination. The invisible hand was
still gripping his heart urging him to vomit it. He slammed the door
open to find James and Peter chatting while they were getting ready
for class.

Peter looked at Sirius and yelped. He had never seen such a
look of utter despair in those luxurious silvery-gray eyes. It was a
very frightening sight. He turned to look at James to find that the
other boy had stopped in mid-motion while pulling on his socks. James
noticed with fear every aspect of Sirius before speaking. His hair
was a mess, his skin was so pale it looked lifeless, and his lips now
displayed a generous amount of fresh blood on them.

Peter swallowed when James inquired. \"What happened? You look
horrible.\"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, James regretted
he had ever said them. Sirius began to scream to the top of his lungs
what had take place downstairs. He didn\'t know what to do. Peter
jumped on top of his bed when Sirius landed his fist against the
wooden door.

\"IT\'S NOT FUCKING FAIR! HE—I DIDN\'T WANT THAT FUCKING HALFWIT
TO KISS ME!!! AHHH!\"

James leaped forward and wrestled his ranting friend onto the
nearest bed to keep him from doing further damage to himself. Peter
proceeded to apply a simple healing charm to the gushing wound on
Sirius\' knuckles; he didn\'t like blood. Peter was somewhat a
hemophiliac.

James let go of Sirius only when the other young man relaxed
and began to take deep breaths instead of shallow short ones. He rose
from the bed and watched in despair as his comrade sat up and placed
his face in his hands.

Peter kneeled before Sirius and looked up at what looked to
him like the personification of rage. \"You\'ve got to find him, mate.
And, and… well explain stuff to him. Tell him he didn\'t see right.
That--\"

\"Would you believe me if you were him? After what he saw?\"
James thought that it was time to intervene. \"You\'re giving up,
Black?\" He bit his lip and felt his eye twitch at the look of hate he
received. He had touched a chord; Sirius was if anything the most
persistent of all the Black. So persistent in fact that it bordered
on recklessness. \"Geez, don\'t look as though you\'re gonna stab me!\"

A low growl. \"I\'m NOT giving up.\"

\"You better not, or I\'ll never hear the end of it. Here\'s
the plan. You\'re gonna find him. Corner him. Pull him. Drag him. Yank
him. Haul him. Tie him. Spank him. Nibble him. Bite him. I don\'t care
how you do it, Padfoot. Just do it. And it\'ll help if you don\'t GLARE
at him either!\" James stomped his booted foot heavily on the stone
floor to emphasize things further. \"And tell him the truth.\"

Sirius made an effort not to glare at James. That didn\'t work
out so well; he needed to glare at something and James was the one in
front of him, so there.

James rolled his eyes and placed his strong Quidditch toned
arms on Sirius\' shoulders and started to shake him violently. Peter
deemed it safer to get up and stand at a safer distance before Sirius
went berserk again. To his great relief, he did not.

\"I solemnly swear that I up to some good.\"

\"Sirius you just killed it man.\"

The atmosphere in the room suddenly felt a lot lighter.

*******

Remus stood at the door of the Transfiguration classroom
feeling quite torn apart. He had avoided going to the previous class,
Care of Magical Creatures, for fear of facing Sirius. He wanted to
enter the class and act as if nothing had happened and at the same
time he wanted to go in there, throw the tantrum of the century and
curse Sirius around the chamber and back.

He took a deep breath and opened the door wide enough to slip
in. He wanted to not be noticed. The professor ceased talking to his
despair, glared and followed him with her eyes as he made his way to
sit at the front of the class.

Sirius noticed that the parchment on which he had been
writing was hopelessly lost for he had clutched it with his fist. He
looked to his side at James and Peter who were looking as surprised
as himself to see Remus back so quickly. And so tidy looking for that
matter. It seemed as if the three boys had expected Remus to turn out
in complete disarray. Sirius felt his chest tighten as he realized
the Remus was limping slightly. The boy didn\'t turn to look at James,
Peter or Sirius. In fact, it was as if he were pretending to be alone.

Remus knew that all the eyes in the class were glued to his
back, yet the only ones he felt were Sirius\'. He dropped on his chair
without further ado and retrieved his books from his bag while
looking up expectantly for the professor to resume the lesson. He
felt that if it had taken a little longer for her to do so, he would
have crumbled right there and then. It was harder said than done to
pretend nothing was amiss.

The class was over and the boy walked towards the door,
keeping his eyes firmly glued to the exit. He felt a warm hand grip
his bicep and all the air left his lungs at the contact. Suddenly, he
had forgotten everything that had happened. All the anger and
shredded pride washed away and he leaned to increase the pressure on
his arm. Sirius was looking down at him with eyes so troubled, so
turbulent that at first he did not recognize their silvery-gray
magnificence. They stood there gazing at one another for what seemed
a nanosecond and an eternity at the same time.

\"Look, Moony. I\'m sorry. Let me explain--\"

That was all the Green Eyed Monster needed to tear Remus
apart once again. Anger soared through him like a tidal wave, abandon
drained him of warmth and jealousy, oh blasted jealousy froze his
blood, first at his neck and then spreading to the tips of his toes.

\"Oh yes. I\'m sure you\'ve got it all figured out by now;
figured out how to convince me to let you use my body for your carnal
pleasures and then dispatch me just like all your other lovers,
haven\'t you Padfoot?\" The usual calm voice was now filled with venom.
That is the result of hurting the sensitive mind of an artist; he
invents the most hurtful things to say.

Sirius would not have felt as hurt had he been slapped. He
looked down at his beloved in awe. Remus had never spoken in such a
way. But he was not giving up. Sirius Black would fight to the death
against the Green Eyed Monster to reclaim his Remus. He placed his
free hand on Remus\' cheek and gently rubbed the pad of his thumb
against the flushed flesh there. His eyes dug fiercely into the
nebulous hazel of the shorter boy\'s, desperate to regain Remus\' trust.

But the Green Eyed Monster would not relinquish its beautiful
prey and Remus began to fight to be free. \"UNHAND ME!\" He screamed
and then took flight through the wooden door.

*******

It was twilight before Peter rushed back from their
dormitories bearing the Marauders Map under his stubby arm. He
hastily handed it to Sirius and joined him and James into hiding by
the sculpture of Boris the Bewildered. The three of them scanned the
map, worry engraved on all three pairs of irises. None of them had
seen Remus since the fiasco in Transfiguration and had just recently
gotten the chance to snatch the map from their bedchamber.

\"There!\" James hissed while pointing his finger towards a
little dot labeled `Lupin\'.

\"Let\'s go.\" Sirius had grabbed peter by the neck of his robes
and was half way out of their hiding place when he realized Peter was
resisting his attempts to move him. \"What now?\"

\"We really think you should go alone. You know… we don\'t
really want to see the two of you humping each other.\" James had a
point there.

********

After many winding corridors Sirius saw Remus\' profile at
last. The boy was sitting on the bottom of a very thin and high
pointed arched window, one leg swung over the edge of the precipice
and could not be seen, the other was firmly planted on the stone
floor. He was gazing at the sunset with little interest, melancholy
written all over that pretty face. The dirty blonde eyelashes seemed
dusted with gold due to the orange sun setting on the western
horizon. It bothered Sirius however that a shadow was displayed
diagonally across that angelic face due to the powerful flying
buttress that protruded from the side of the window supporting the
ancient walls and was blocking some of the sun light. He wanted to
hold that boy in his arms and keep him safe from anything that might
hurt him ever again.

Remus heard footsteps and disregarded them. It was probably
another Hufflepuff trying to get to his or her dormitory before dark.
He looked up and gasped at the sight of Sirius. He hurriedly got
himself up and was about to run away again when he was pulled by the
wrist and pinned against the wall opposite the window.

Sirius gently pressed his leg in between Remus\' and held both
his arms pinned above the shorter boy\'s head while the other one
proceeded to take a tender hold of Remus\' chin in order to force the
boy to look up.

The dark haired youth grunted in frustration when the hazel
eyes refused to look up at him. \"Remus Lupin look at me.\" He said
firmly. With equal firmness Remus glued his eyes to Sirius\' tie knot,
his forehead furrowed. Sirius sighed and softened his tone. \"Moony,
please. Please look at me. If you really care for me, look up.\"

Almost against his will, Remus looked up to meet the
luxurious silvery-gray eyes looking intently back into his own.

Sirius sighed again. \"Oh Remus, your anger tears me apart.\"
He had never been more sincere in his life.

Remus felt overwhelmed by this statement. He came to realize
that it had never been his intention to hurt the beautiful young man
holding him against the wall. Over his shoulder he could see the sun
bidding him ado. His forehead smoothened and he parted his lips to
say something; anything. He was prevented from doing so by a pair of
elegant fingers pressing against them. \"Shhhh… dearest. I speak now.
Let me soothe your wounds.\"

The shorter boy relaxed further when the strong hand pinning
his relinquished its hold to caress the side of his face. A warm
forehead was pressed against his. The silky voice spoke; Sirius had
been right, it was soothing.

\"I would not deny to you Remus that I have quite a reputation
for you have been my primary witness throughout its development. No,
don\'t look down. Look and see that I am telling you the truth. There,
there… lovely Remus.\" The fingers on his face were now massaging his
jaw line. \"I would also not deny that the boy you saw me with this
morning I had sex with.\" Sirius could clearly see jealousy so strong
that reason can barely cure dilating the irises of his beloved so
that almost no hazel remained; his breathing had also become rather
shallow. He pressed his body further, not leaving a single space
between their bodies where air could pass. \"But you should also know
then that I did not want to be kissed by him. I\'m not very fond of
ripping my lips voluntarily you know.\" Remus gasped as he took notice
of the still fresh wound below Sirius\' lower lip. He innocently
wanted in the back of his mind to kiss it and make it better. \"And
then I saw you there and I swear that every tear that you\'ve cried
today has ripped from me a year of my life.\" Sirius had never bared
his feelings like this. He was feeling somewhat overwhelmed.

He took hold of Remus\' hands which were hanging limply at his
sides and brought them to his lips. The shorter boy\' heart was
pounding harder than a battle drum when his fingers were kissed one
by one. Sirius took his time to savor every digit with his lips,
lingering there at times against one, closing his eyes and then flick
a little bit of his tongue against the tip. It was such an amorous
gesture that it left no doubt that Sirius was indeed telling the
truth. The taller boy opened his eyes to marvel upon the beauty of
the hazel that had gone back to Remus\' pupils. He felt the need to
bring the hands he held against his chest while massaging the palms
tenderly with his thumbs.

There he pressed them, over the place where his heart
was. \"This is yours…\"

Remus blushed and Sirius smiled while delivering a swift peck
on the boy\'s cheek. \"Thief.\" He repeated the action on Remus\' cute
button nose, making him giggle. \"Plunderer.\" His forehead was
attacked with a series of quick kisses, which produced more
giggles. \"Return my heart!\" The warmth engulfed them both when their
lips connected at last.

Remus immediately opened his mouth and slithered his tongue
to meet Sirius\' who moaned piteously. Remus chose to tease the needy
mouth and pulled away. \"No, return it I tell you!\" The tongue was
back in his mouth and he could no longer muster the strength to deny
himself any longer what he so much desired. He opened wider wrapped
his arms around the taller boy\'s neck, needing to increase the
contact. Sirius trembled as he rubbed his tongue under Remus\' who
found this action much to his linking to end it, so he continued the
delicious ministrations in return.

\"Sirius…\" the youth managed to say when the kiss was
broken. \"More…\" He was now panting with delicious need. Suddenly
Remus froze; the hazy look of ecstasy that had reigned supreme in his
hazel eyes was replaced by terror.

Panic swept through Remus as he shivered. Sirius could not
understand what was happening and was terribly afraid he had hurt his
Remus when he was pushed away, landing flat on his back. \"Uh--\"

He looked up to see Remus trembling; the pretty flushed up
color of sexual stimulation was gone and was replaced by a white so
pale to shame the dead. The hazel eyes were not looking at him, they
were terrified, turbulent and horror struck while looking at
something beyond the pointed arch window. He got up and took Remus by
the shoulders trying to make sense of all the confusion. Remus
screamed in trepidation and fought frantically to push Sirius away
again; his eyes were still glued to the sky outside. He began to sob
as he fell to the ground, his eyes never leaving the heavens.

\"RUN SIRIUS! RUN!\"

He tore at his uniform whimpering in agony; his fingernails
tore at the heavy wool as if it were as thin as silk threads. Sirius
turned his head to look at the most horrible sight in Remus\'
existence; his dark hair wiping against his face.

\"RUN!\"

The moon was full. The moon was shining, and its beauty only
brought terror.


----------To Be Continued---------