Mystery Hogwarts Theater
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
6
Views:
6,631
Reviews:
105
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
6
Views:
6,631
Reviews:
105
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Interlude
MHT: 1.4
Hope you don’t me putting the reviews in the chapter, I felt the boys needed a break of some sort. ^-^ …okay, really I needed a break form all that horrible smut. So…just a bad fic.
*Shudders* And remember I love you alerioeriously, and would have all of your children and what have you…but Snape and Draco are mean snarky bastards. Don’t take anything they say to heart. The stuff from Harry better reflects my opinion.
And, for the record, I’m a die hard slasher so don’t take the screaming about the evils of slash seriously.
******************
Chapter Four
Interlude One
******************
“He wants us to what?” Severus asked, eyes narrowed.
“Answer his mail. He’s putting this on the Wizard Wide Web and making a killing.” Wormtail informed them, smirking a bit. “And he gets mail. He wants you to answer it.”
“If we refuse?”
“He’ll make you read bad stories about yourselves with each other.” Everyone present glanced around and shuddered. “As I thought. Now read!” Wormtail cackled and Snape sneered before make a rude gesture and turning off the screen, mid-cackle.
Snape rolled his eyes and hit the button to bring up the letters on the screen.
~*~Very funny! I feel bad for all the boys, except Dean and Seamus who really seem to be enjoying themselves. ;) Ah, the torture for poor Severus, not only stuck with all those Gryffindors (excepting Draco, of course), but having his mature senses assaulted with the bad fics! :) Brilliant, brilliant, can\'t wait to see what you have in store for us next! :)
Dean started “It’s from Sorceress. Hum…yes, you should pit…wel…well…th gue guess. We aren’t enjoying ourselves exactly, just making the best of a really bad thing. And you know, tormenting everyone else.” Seamus grinned cheekily.
Harry frowned. “What does ‘those Gryffindors supposed to mean? He’s damn well very lucky to be stuck with us.” Snape just snorted and took a drink from the bottle of scotch he’d found somewhere.
“Next one’s from Randi.” Seamus said, moving to the next letter.
~*~Would he rather sleep with Ron? Hmmm... good question. I\'m going with yes, but that\'s mostly because I\'m a slasher and firmly believe that all men would rather sleep with other men, they just don\'t know it yet. So far, this is better than the last one, but I would like to stress the so far, because it can take a wrong turn really really fast. Not that\'s it good, or any semblance of the word, but I\'m not staring at my screen in abject horror. Yet.
Draco’s eyes went wide. “I was just…saying! I would never actually sleep with the Weasel, hell would freeze over first.”
Ron just blinked mildly. “When dou sou say you’d rather sleep with me?”
Draco glared. “Shove it.”
“I would like to say that last story was pretty bad. I mean…an orgy? Ginny and Hermione being men? And the dirty pervert teachers?” Seamus shuddered. “It was horrible. I was staring in abject horror.”
“And he doesn’t even know what abject means.” Dean added, smiling teasingly. Seamus made a face at him before moving on to the next letter.
“It’s from Mel.” Harry said.
~*~I really love this story! I think this is the best one running right now. Keep up the good work and write more chapters soon because they always make me laugh ! Thanks, If you still need a beta let me know I have never been one before but I am incredibly anal about grammar and spelling...lol
Snape rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I find nothing about these stories amusing.” He took another drink then wandered over to one of the couches.
Harry snorted. “And we don’t need a Beta, that was something the author of the horrible story was saying. Remember, these are actual fics people have written. It’s scary this is how people think of us. Really, really, scary.”
“Yes.” Draco muttered. “Next is from Kiara.”
~*~First off I\'m not sure if I should be flattered or aghast at being mentioned in the story/author thank yous (although Ron’s will be accepted wholeheartedly ;) ). Second, should I even ask where you are finding these stories? I will admit I have absolutely no objection what-so-ever to the Draco/Ron pairing, it would be very interesting to see how you weave something like that into this. It\'ll also be hilarious to have Draco have to swallow his own words(\'at least he\'s a Pureblood\'). Please do update soon. I am enjoying this immensely.
Ron smirked. “I think she likes me.”
Harry snorted. “Oh yeah, did you read the rest of it?”
Seamus smirked. “Somehow I doubt his words will be all he’s swallowing.” Dean groaned before his eyes went wide with fear and he scrambled away form his friend. Seamus looked confused for a moment before Draco tackled him. “Help! Ow! You git! Ouch! Dean!”
Harry just shook his head then continued. “Fanfiction.net. It’s a scary place sometimes.” With a grin he continued on, ignoring Seamus’ shouts. “This is from Scarlett Noir.”
~*~Hm, if read much better Mystery (Science) Theatre fictions before. And it seemed to me you have problems to work with character trades. It was a little funny, but a little bit to dry and un-Hogwarts-character-like. I´ll wait for another chapter. Keep working on. Just take your fiction as a practice, don´t let it stay incomplete.
Severus laughed. “Have you taken a look at the cast? And these stories?”
Harry frowned. “Don’t patronize the reviewers. They’re our only hope of eventual rescue. What he means is…well Professor Snape is notoriously sarcastic It’s what he’s good at. Seamus and Dean are just…silly, they have a…obvious dumb humor, mixed with perversion. Ron and Draco are also sarcastic, but not as much as Snape, and tend to be the target of Voldemort’s aggression, because no matter what they end up scarred. And I’m…”
“Tragically the only sane Gryffindor?” Snape drawled, glancing at Ron who was sharpening a stick to kill Seamus, Seamus was still being pummeled, and Dean who’d taken to reading a book instead of helping his best friend.
“Uh…well, yeah. It’s very dry, especially considering the stories. All we can do is be sarcastic if we want to maintain some sort of sanity.” He smiled. “Next one is from Charlotte.”
~*~*tears up* I was mentioned in a fan fic! *sniff* I\'m so touched! I\'m immortalized in the annuls of fanfiction!
Totally Shibby. I really am impressed with the story, mostly because I love Mystery Science Theater 3000... and I\'m a cynical bitch by nature who enjoys picking apart bad fanfiction. You have found some really, truly, impressively horrible writing which, but for the grace of the Big Man in the Sky, any of us might have had to read as itself, with no commentary to make living worthwhile. I applaud you for standing in the gap and reading this horrible fanfiction and then adding your special touch.
*applauds*
Snape took another drink. “And you should be glad you haven’t been immortalized like the rest of us, horribly out of character and…insanely sex obsessed. It’s horrible isn’t it.”
Draco stopped his Seamus-abuse and arched an eyebrow. “She’s an emotional bint isn’t she?”
“Again, patronizing the readers! Stop it.” Harry’s eyes flashed and Draco sneered, but didn’t argue further. “Thank you for all the nice things, it’s hard torturous work, but we feel someone must do it in order to shield everyone else…and give you all a good laugh in the progress.” HE looked around. “All that said, do you think you could…help us get out of here? Please?”
“Next is HPfreak19.” Draco said, leaving Seamus alone.
~*~This is a very funny story. I couldn\'t help but laugh hard. It was very funny and something that when I think about it I know I will laugh.
Snape rolled his eyes. “Oh yes, its bloody well hilarious isn’t it?”
Harry blinked. “Please, everyone, ignore him. He’s getting old and cranky.”
“I will kill you Potter, with my bare hands, and then present Voldemort your innards on a golden platter.” Snape deadpanned. Harry shuddered. “Next is Lucie_P.” Snape went back to his drinking.
~*~This is brilliant, absolutely hilarious!!!!!!!!
I so enjoyed your pointing out all that horrors one stumbles upon while searching for new good fanfic to read...
Please, continue this!
Draco sighed. “Is there good Fanfiction? I mean…I’m not holding out a lot of faith here. Anyway, we were glad we could amuse you with out plight.”
Harry nodded. “And, unfortunately, I’m sure there’s more to come.” He shook his head. “Next is Renee.”
~*~Just like to state for the record that these fics seem very familiar! They remind me of half the crap that\'s written and floating out there in cyberspace, just waiting to cruelly torment anyone who can actually speak the English language!
Very unique idea. I don\'t often find a fic that actually makes me laugh and yours had me in hysterics. I nearly choked when Seamus and Dean pulled out their tongs for battle!!!
Hope you keep writing more of this.
Harry cracked a smile. “That’s a good way of describing this trash. Torment…ahh. The therapist bills we’re going to need after this say it all. Why do people do this to us? Do they really see us this way?! I mean…really.”
Dean smirked and waved his tongs around. “Never fear, every time someone manages to misspell tongue we’ll be there. Right Shay?”
“I think he broke my ribs.” Seamus muttered.
“Doubtful.” Snape said, setting down his bottle. “Next is Stark Raving Mad, something I’m sure we’re all going.”
~*~I don\'t usually review things on here, but I just have to tell you that I thought that this was hilarious. Its been awhile since I read something that actually made me laugh out loud. this is great. Keep it up!
Draco sighed. “We’re soooo glad we could keep you amused to the point of laughing at our pitiful attempts at retaining our sanity.”
“…I’d yell but I’m not sure if that was a compliment or an insult.” Harry muttered, blinking. “Next is Tina.”
~*~You really need a warning on this fic. Something along the lines of \'Do not drink while reading this.\' Snorting tea out of my nose is really not a good look for me. I cannot wait to see what evil you have planned for future chapters. Please update this and soon.
Snape snorted. “I’m sure whatever it is will be mind numbing and appeal to the sadist in everyone. I, personally, will not be happy until we’re out of here. Or until I drink myself into a stupor. Which ever comes first.”
Harry sighed. “Here’s a warning: BEWARE, horrible out of character fiction lies within, read at your own risk, please do not drink, eat, or be in polite company while reading it.”
“Next one is form Anon.” Ron said, tossing his sharpened stick elsewhere.
~*~OH MY GOD!!!!! I was giggle snorting all the way through this fic! *brushes away tears with one hand while the other holds aching ribs* carry on, dear writer!
“Did I mention my ribs ache?” Seamus asked, still on the ground. Dean reached over and patted him on the head. “Don’t patronize me Thomas.”
“There is no god.” Snape deadpanned.
“…next up is Lucifera.” Harry said, apparently disturbed by that litoutboutburst.
~*~This is sooooo funny! *snickers*
Where do you get that bad fiction from? Is it from actually posted stories or have you \"created\" it yourself, after reading too many of those?
I cannot wait for the next chapter(s), when - hopefully - Snape will get his \"big scene\".
Harry shook his head. “Sadly these are real stories, not just things conjured up by our twisted captives mind.” He glares at the ceiling. (And somewhere the fourth wall crumbles. ^-^) “And yes, Snape hasn’t been in one story yet…that’s just not right.”
“Don’t force me to hurt you Potter.” Snape’s tone was just as emotionless as usual and that seemed to disturb Harry more than the words, because he muttered an apology. “Good. This one is from Rosa.” ~*~ ~*~:D
Oh my dear, this is soo funny! I laughed out loud many times, and I usually don\'t do that.
It\'s great! Absolutely great!
I really really am looking forward to your next chapter.
Please add some slash \"bad fics\" to the punishments. That\'ll be cool!
:)
I\'m begging here, please update soon! I love this fic!
Harry’s eyes widened. “NO, no slash! We couldn’t take it! I’ve seen those, I’m either converting to Slytherin or crying like a little girl.”
“And my father is a chronic child abuser.” Draco added, shuddering.
“And I’m evil and abusing Harry.” Ron added, wincing. “The last one is from Indir.”
~*~I don\'t think I\'ve ever laughed so much at the computer. Reminds me of the original MST... god, I miss that show.
Harry smiled. “Glad to be of service. And someone-” He looks up again and the wall once again cracks. “Really misses that show too.”
“That’s the last of it right?” Harry nodded. “So what mind numbing torture does the Dark Lord have for us now?” Bitterness dripped from every word that left Snape‘s mouth.
~Continued in part five…
Hope you don’t me putting the reviews in the chapter, I felt the boys needed a break of some sort. ^-^ …okay, really I needed a break form all that horrible smut. So…just a bad fic.
*Shudders* And remember I love you alerioeriously, and would have all of your children and what have you…but Snape and Draco are mean snarky bastards. Don’t take anything they say to heart. The stuff from Harry better reflects my opinion.
And, for the record, I’m a die hard slasher so don’t take the screaming about the evils of slash seriously.
******************
Chapter Four
Interlude One
******************
“He wants us to what?” Severus asked, eyes narrowed.
“Answer his mail. He’s putting this on the Wizard Wide Web and making a killing.” Wormtail informed them, smirking a bit. “And he gets mail. He wants you to answer it.”
“If we refuse?”
“He’ll make you read bad stories about yourselves with each other.” Everyone present glanced around and shuddered. “As I thought. Now read!” Wormtail cackled and Snape sneered before make a rude gesture and turning off the screen, mid-cackle.
Snape rolled his eyes and hit the button to bring up the letters on the screen.
~*~Very funny! I feel bad for all the boys, except Dean and Seamus who really seem to be enjoying themselves. ;) Ah, the torture for poor Severus, not only stuck with all those Gryffindors (excepting Draco, of course), but having his mature senses assaulted with the bad fics! :) Brilliant, brilliant, can\'t wait to see what you have in store for us next! :)
Dean started “It’s from Sorceress. Hum…yes, you should pit…wel…well…th gue guess. We aren’t enjoying ourselves exactly, just making the best of a really bad thing. And you know, tormenting everyone else.” Seamus grinned cheekily.
Harry frowned. “What does ‘those Gryffindors supposed to mean? He’s damn well very lucky to be stuck with us.” Snape just snorted and took a drink from the bottle of scotch he’d found somewhere.
“Next one’s from Randi.” Seamus said, moving to the next letter.
~*~Would he rather sleep with Ron? Hmmm... good question. I\'m going with yes, but that\'s mostly because I\'m a slasher and firmly believe that all men would rather sleep with other men, they just don\'t know it yet. So far, this is better than the last one, but I would like to stress the so far, because it can take a wrong turn really really fast. Not that\'s it good, or any semblance of the word, but I\'m not staring at my screen in abject horror. Yet.
Draco’s eyes went wide. “I was just…saying! I would never actually sleep with the Weasel, hell would freeze over first.”
Ron just blinked mildly. “When dou sou say you’d rather sleep with me?”
Draco glared. “Shove it.”
“I would like to say that last story was pretty bad. I mean…an orgy? Ginny and Hermione being men? And the dirty pervert teachers?” Seamus shuddered. “It was horrible. I was staring in abject horror.”
“And he doesn’t even know what abject means.” Dean added, smiling teasingly. Seamus made a face at him before moving on to the next letter.
“It’s from Mel.” Harry said.
~*~I really love this story! I think this is the best one running right now. Keep up the good work and write more chapters soon because they always make me laugh ! Thanks, If you still need a beta let me know I have never been one before but I am incredibly anal about grammar and spelling...lol
Snape rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I find nothing about these stories amusing.” He took another drink then wandered over to one of the couches.
Harry snorted. “And we don’t need a Beta, that was something the author of the horrible story was saying. Remember, these are actual fics people have written. It’s scary this is how people think of us. Really, really, scary.”
“Yes.” Draco muttered. “Next is from Kiara.”
~*~First off I\'m not sure if I should be flattered or aghast at being mentioned in the story/author thank yous (although Ron’s will be accepted wholeheartedly ;) ). Second, should I even ask where you are finding these stories? I will admit I have absolutely no objection what-so-ever to the Draco/Ron pairing, it would be very interesting to see how you weave something like that into this. It\'ll also be hilarious to have Draco have to swallow his own words(\'at least he\'s a Pureblood\'). Please do update soon. I am enjoying this immensely.
Ron smirked. “I think she likes me.”
Harry snorted. “Oh yeah, did you read the rest of it?”
Seamus smirked. “Somehow I doubt his words will be all he’s swallowing.” Dean groaned before his eyes went wide with fear and he scrambled away form his friend. Seamus looked confused for a moment before Draco tackled him. “Help! Ow! You git! Ouch! Dean!”
Harry just shook his head then continued. “Fanfiction.net. It’s a scary place sometimes.” With a grin he continued on, ignoring Seamus’ shouts. “This is from Scarlett Noir.”
~*~Hm, if read much better Mystery (Science) Theatre fictions before. And it seemed to me you have problems to work with character trades. It was a little funny, but a little bit to dry and un-Hogwarts-character-like. I´ll wait for another chapter. Keep working on. Just take your fiction as a practice, don´t let it stay incomplete.
Severus laughed. “Have you taken a look at the cast? And these stories?”
Harry frowned. “Don’t patronize the reviewers. They’re our only hope of eventual rescue. What he means is…well Professor Snape is notoriously sarcastic It’s what he’s good at. Seamus and Dean are just…silly, they have a…obvious dumb humor, mixed with perversion. Ron and Draco are also sarcastic, but not as much as Snape, and tend to be the target of Voldemort’s aggression, because no matter what they end up scarred. And I’m…”
“Tragically the only sane Gryffindor?” Snape drawled, glancing at Ron who was sharpening a stick to kill Seamus, Seamus was still being pummeled, and Dean who’d taken to reading a book instead of helping his best friend.
“Uh…well, yeah. It’s very dry, especially considering the stories. All we can do is be sarcastic if we want to maintain some sort of sanity.” He smiled. “Next one is from Charlotte.”
~*~*tears up* I was mentioned in a fan fic! *sniff* I\'m so touched! I\'m immortalized in the annuls of fanfiction!
Totally Shibby. I really am impressed with the story, mostly because I love Mystery Science Theater 3000... and I\'m a cynical bitch by nature who enjoys picking apart bad fanfiction. You have found some really, truly, impressively horrible writing which, but for the grace of the Big Man in the Sky, any of us might have had to read as itself, with no commentary to make living worthwhile. I applaud you for standing in the gap and reading this horrible fanfiction and then adding your special touch.
*applauds*
Snape took another drink. “And you should be glad you haven’t been immortalized like the rest of us, horribly out of character and…insanely sex obsessed. It’s horrible isn’t it.”
Draco stopped his Seamus-abuse and arched an eyebrow. “She’s an emotional bint isn’t she?”
“Again, patronizing the readers! Stop it.” Harry’s eyes flashed and Draco sneered, but didn’t argue further. “Thank you for all the nice things, it’s hard torturous work, but we feel someone must do it in order to shield everyone else…and give you all a good laugh in the progress.” HE looked around. “All that said, do you think you could…help us get out of here? Please?”
“Next is HPfreak19.” Draco said, leaving Seamus alone.
~*~This is a very funny story. I couldn\'t help but laugh hard. It was very funny and something that when I think about it I know I will laugh.
Snape rolled his eyes. “Oh yes, its bloody well hilarious isn’t it?”
Harry blinked. “Please, everyone, ignore him. He’s getting old and cranky.”
“I will kill you Potter, with my bare hands, and then present Voldemort your innards on a golden platter.” Snape deadpanned. Harry shuddered. “Next is Lucie_P.” Snape went back to his drinking.
~*~This is brilliant, absolutely hilarious!!!!!!!!
I so enjoyed your pointing out all that horrors one stumbles upon while searching for new good fanfic to read...
Please, continue this!
Draco sighed. “Is there good Fanfiction? I mean…I’m not holding out a lot of faith here. Anyway, we were glad we could amuse you with out plight.”
Harry nodded. “And, unfortunately, I’m sure there’s more to come.” He shook his head. “Next is Renee.”
~*~Just like to state for the record that these fics seem very familiar! They remind me of half the crap that\'s written and floating out there in cyberspace, just waiting to cruelly torment anyone who can actually speak the English language!
Very unique idea. I don\'t often find a fic that actually makes me laugh and yours had me in hysterics. I nearly choked when Seamus and Dean pulled out their tongs for battle!!!
Hope you keep writing more of this.
Harry cracked a smile. “That’s a good way of describing this trash. Torment…ahh. The therapist bills we’re going to need after this say it all. Why do people do this to us? Do they really see us this way?! I mean…really.”
Dean smirked and waved his tongs around. “Never fear, every time someone manages to misspell tongue we’ll be there. Right Shay?”
“I think he broke my ribs.” Seamus muttered.
“Doubtful.” Snape said, setting down his bottle. “Next is Stark Raving Mad, something I’m sure we’re all going.”
~*~I don\'t usually review things on here, but I just have to tell you that I thought that this was hilarious. Its been awhile since I read something that actually made me laugh out loud. this is great. Keep it up!
Draco sighed. “We’re soooo glad we could keep you amused to the point of laughing at our pitiful attempts at retaining our sanity.”
“…I’d yell but I’m not sure if that was a compliment or an insult.” Harry muttered, blinking. “Next is Tina.”
~*~You really need a warning on this fic. Something along the lines of \'Do not drink while reading this.\' Snorting tea out of my nose is really not a good look for me. I cannot wait to see what evil you have planned for future chapters. Please update this and soon.
Snape snorted. “I’m sure whatever it is will be mind numbing and appeal to the sadist in everyone. I, personally, will not be happy until we’re out of here. Or until I drink myself into a stupor. Which ever comes first.”
Harry sighed. “Here’s a warning: BEWARE, horrible out of character fiction lies within, read at your own risk, please do not drink, eat, or be in polite company while reading it.”
“Next one is form Anon.” Ron said, tossing his sharpened stick elsewhere.
~*~OH MY GOD!!!!! I was giggle snorting all the way through this fic! *brushes away tears with one hand while the other holds aching ribs* carry on, dear writer!
“Did I mention my ribs ache?” Seamus asked, still on the ground. Dean reached over and patted him on the head. “Don’t patronize me Thomas.”
“There is no god.” Snape deadpanned.
“…next up is Lucifera.” Harry said, apparently disturbed by that litoutboutburst.
~*~This is sooooo funny! *snickers*
Where do you get that bad fiction from? Is it from actually posted stories or have you \"created\" it yourself, after reading too many of those?
I cannot wait for the next chapter(s), when - hopefully - Snape will get his \"big scene\".
Harry shook his head. “Sadly these are real stories, not just things conjured up by our twisted captives mind.” He glares at the ceiling. (And somewhere the fourth wall crumbles. ^-^) “And yes, Snape hasn’t been in one story yet…that’s just not right.”
“Don’t force me to hurt you Potter.” Snape’s tone was just as emotionless as usual and that seemed to disturb Harry more than the words, because he muttered an apology. “Good. This one is from Rosa.” ~*~ ~*~:D
Oh my dear, this is soo funny! I laughed out loud many times, and I usually don\'t do that.
It\'s great! Absolutely great!
I really really am looking forward to your next chapter.
Please add some slash \"bad fics\" to the punishments. That\'ll be cool!
:)
I\'m begging here, please update soon! I love this fic!
Harry’s eyes widened. “NO, no slash! We couldn’t take it! I’ve seen those, I’m either converting to Slytherin or crying like a little girl.”
“And my father is a chronic child abuser.” Draco added, shuddering.
“And I’m evil and abusing Harry.” Ron added, wincing. “The last one is from Indir.”
~*~I don\'t think I\'ve ever laughed so much at the computer. Reminds me of the original MST... god, I miss that show.
Harry smiled. “Glad to be of service. And someone-” He looks up again and the wall once again cracks. “Really misses that show too.”
“That’s the last of it right?” Harry nodded. “So what mind numbing torture does the Dark Lord have for us now?” Bitterness dripped from every word that left Snape‘s mouth.
~Continued in part five…