Taking

Title: Taking
Author: Dr. Jeckell & Mrs. Hyde (aka Taran & Magdelena)
Summary: HP/SS – Slash – Part 4/7. Harry loses control during an Occlumency lesson in seventh year, and takes out two years worth of bottled up rage, anger and frustration on Severus Snape. This is an extremely dark piece dealing with sensitive issues such as rape/non-consensual sex, sexual abuse, and physical violence.
Pairing: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Genres: Romance, Angst, Darkfic
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Non-consensual sex, Violence, Adult Language, Sexual Situations, BDSM
Beta: The incredibly wonderful Sev1970.
Feedback: Would be greatly appreciated… jeckell_and_hyde@yahoo.com
Archive: We’d be thrilled, but please ask us first.
Disclaimer: We do not own any of the characters herein (only the plot). All the characters in the Harry Potter universe belong exclusively to J.K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, and anyone else JKR chooses to allow to play with them. We are publishing our fanfiction writings only for our own selfish desire to be a part of their world.

~*~


IMPORTANT Authors\' Note:

Be FOREWARNED!!! This is NOT a typical fluffy, funny, sweet tale from either Taran or Magdelena. This is dark, very dark! See the appropriate warnings above before reading any further! Expect non-con/rape and violence! Proceed with caution.

~*~

From last chapter…

“It’s time we got some breakfast, and pretty soon we’re going to have to re-enter the real world, but before we do, I think we need to talk.”

~*~


Chapter Four – When Past and Present Collide


“It’s Saturday, so we shouldn’t have much of a problem with my dorm mates. I’ve spent a great many nights away from the Tower sleeping in the Room of Requirement, and I have the Marauder’s Map with me, so they have no way to look for me.” Harry wanted to assure Severus that he did not need or want to leave, at least not before the two talked. Unconsciously tightening his grip on Severus, Harry verbalized the question he had been asking himself earlier. “Why did you submit so readily to me last night, and today?”

Severus suddenly shivered with fear and pulled away. .He put on a fresh robe and then handed another to Harry before summoning a house-elf and ordering a light breakfast for them as he tried to organize his thoughts. He tried to ignore the emeralds that followed his every move. He knew he had to talk to Harry and tell him the truth, but he had never told anyone about his life before and didn\'t know where to start or how much to tell. He was terrified of Harry\'s reaction. Would the Gryffindor be shocked and disgusted with him and all he had done and would he turn away in shame, thinking Severus dirty and used up…

Severus sat at the little table when the food arrived and stared at his plate as he pushed the food around idly. He couldn\'t meet Harry\'s searching, worried gaze. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before starting to talk, his voice soft and low as though afraid to speak any louder.

\"My father… was strict. You followed his rules to the letter or faced punishment. My mother never tried to protect me. She always said it was my fault, that I should have done what I was told and that he only hit me because he loved me and wanted me to grow up strong.\"

He cleared his throat nervously and took another deep breath. \"My grandmother taught me that we always hurt the ones we love. Then I entered Hogwarts and again learned to follow orders and…\" Severus\' voice trailed off as a look of pain crossed his face.

\"I used to watch your father and his friends; they looked so happy and had so much fun. They never followed orders and they never faced pain for it. They loved each other without hitting and I thought… maybe that\'s how it\'s supposed to be and that maybe there shouldn\'t be pain from the ones who loved you… Things changed, though.

\"Lucius decided he needed the services of a potion maker. By my fourth year, I had proven to be more than apt in the subject. He chose me.\" Severus\' eyes lost focus as he looked inward.

Throughout Severus’ narrative, Harry had tried to keep himself still, forcing himself to listen and not interject unnecessary questions, and to try to convey his devotion and love to the Potions Master through his eyes and body language. It was difficult to sit back and watch Severus relive the painful experiences, but Harry was determined to be as supportive as he could. However, at the mere mention of Lucius Malfoy’s name, Harry found himself unable to resist speaking..

“What did he want you to do?” Harry replied, forcibly keeping his voice steady, trying to quell the rising fury inside of him. He didn’t want Severus to glimpse how angry he was getting at the mere thought of his suffering at the elder Malfoy’s hands, and stop his narrative, therefore Harry willed himself to calm, not wanting to face Voldemort finding a way into his mind again.. He held his breath, waiting for Severus to continue. The things Severus had admitted to thus far were things Harry had already seen glimpses of during their Occlumency lessons, but somehow the Gryffindor suspected that the information Severus was about to share would explain a lot about why he had been so submissive. Harry knew it would not be anything he wanted to hear, but he had to know...needed to know.

\"He…\" Severus closed his eyes, trembling almost imperceptibly. \"He wanted a toy, something he could control. He knew my father, their fathers had been close friends, and knew many of the things Father had taught me. He reinforced my father\'s teachings and even my Grandmother\'s words, \'We always hurt the ones we love.\'\"

Severus shuddered as he shared the memories of Lucius beating him, making him bleed, then standing over him, telling him that it was his fault, that he had made Lucius do it out of anger and love, that if Severus had only done what he had been told, Lucius wouldn\'t have been forced to hit him.

\"He never said he loved me, but I assumed that he must have or he wouldn\'t have hurt me the way he did. It took a very long time for me to… unlearn those lessons.\"

Severus pushed his plate away and stood up, wincing slightly. He pulled the robe tightly against his body, and shivered, feeling a coldness creeping into his very soul.

\"He used me and when he was through, he passed me to his friends. I didn\'t argue or fight back; it hurt so much more when I did. It made him angry…\" Again, his voice faded off as tears stung his eyes.

Harry grew more irate as Severus detailed his history with Lucius. His fists clenched and unclenched by his sides, the fury inside of him begging for an outlet. Despite willing himself to calm, the edges of his vision fogged with tinges of red; that is until he heard the catch in Severus’ voice as he spoke. Suddenly his heart swelled with love for the man before him, and his anger deflated.

“…and he acted exactly like I did last night.” Harry stood slowly from his chair and walked up behind Severus, not knowing how his touch would be received while the Potions Master was processing through such difficult memories, but wanting to make sure Severus knew he wasn’t leaving.. Harry reached out a hand and gently stroked Severus’ bicep, squeezing it softly, “That was about power, not love, Severus.”

Severus felt Harry\'s hand on his arm and released a breath he hadn\'t realized he was holding. He turned his tear-stained face towards Harry.

\"He never said he loved me, but you did. You did say you love me and… love hurts… right?\" he asked in a small voice, scared of what the answer would be.

Harry pushed lightly on Severus’ arm, encouraging him to pivot so that they faced one another. Harry’s eyes brimmed with tears, and he smiled gently. “No, angel, love does not hurt. Love is the purest, safest place you can ever be. It’s the exact opposite of anything negative. It’s about finding the missing pieces to your life and to your heart; about knowing that you’ll never be alone.”

Harry stepped in closer to Severus, and rested a hand lightly against Severus’ hip, as his other continued to brush lightly up and down Severus’ arm. “And when you love someone, you love everything about them, no matter what, unconditionally. I will regret until the day I die that I caused you such pain last night; that I allowed that madman inside of my mind and let him use me to hurt you.” Harry blinked back tears, and focused his gaze upon Severus’ beautiful obsidian eyes. “I know I told you that I’ve had fantasies about dominating you, but I envisioned pleasuring you, not intentionally hurting you. When I had pictured us being together like that, you always had total control over setting the limits on how far things went.”

\"Harry, you did pleasure me. I…\" Severus looked away for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts into words that would make sense to Harry. When he was ready, he looked back at him. \"I liked giving control to you, Harry. I liked how right it felt with you and I gave you control this time. It wasn\'t ripped out of my hands today. I saw the Dark Lord\'s presence this time and chose to stay with you.”

Severus sighed and looked down at his feet. \"I know you\'ll think me insane, especially after all I\'ve told you, but… I truly enjoyed being submissive with you today,\" he said softly as a blush coloured his cheeks lightly.

Harry raised Severus’ chin and forced his lover to meet his gaze. “Never be ashamed of anything you want from me, please. This is all so new to me…being in love, being intimate. I don’t want to deny you anything, but I also don’t want you to have any regrets.” Harry took a shuddering breath and continued. “You’ve spent your entire life being forced to bend to the will of one master or another; I don’t want you to ever think of me like that. I want you to feel safe enough to be anything and anyone you want to be with me, but I always want you to know that you’re the one who allows it.”

\"Anything I want to be?\" Severus asked with a hint of fear and a little amusement. At Harry\'s nod he asked, \"What if… What if I want to be your pet?\" He gave a light smile and his eyes glittered happily.

Harry’s eyes grew big as saucers and he unconsciously licked his lips. Unbelievably, his cock throbbed in response to the question. Harry had read a great deal of information on the subject of submissive relationships, and he had been intrigued by everything he had read, but right now, as excited as he was by the prospect of Severus wanting to be sexually submissive to him all the time, he had to clarify something important first. Insecurity crept into his voice, as he verbalized his fears. “Why? Why would you want to do that? Important people in your life have done nothing but cause you pain, and force you into that role. Why do you trust me? I need to know that this is something that you really want, and that you don’t just love me because you’re afraid of me.”

\"I\'m not afraid of you, Harry,\" Severus said with utter confidence. \"I love you because… you\'re MY Harry. It\'s different when it\'s my choice and… No one ever held me after... the way you did. I liked…\" Severus\' eyes misted over again as he stared at Harry with love and devotion. \"I liked being taken care of by you, Harry.\"

Severus suddenly turned away from Harry. \"I\'m sorry, that\'s not fair of me. You\'re the one who deserves to have someone strong to take care of you.\"

“You ARE strong, and don’t ever think you’re not. You’ve done nothing but take care of me since the day that I entered Hogwarts. It’s about time that someone takes care of you for a change. I’ve never had the motivation before now to fight against Voldemort, but you’ve given me a reason. I’ve been slowly dying inside for the last year; loving you gives me a reason to live, to survive this horrible conflict.” Harry wrapped his arms around Severus’ waist from behind, and pulled the Potions Master back against his chest. He placed a tender kiss against one of Severus’ shoulder blades. “You’re offering me a way to channel my anger and frustration, to find me a way out of this hell I’ve been living in; you’re offering me life. If that’s not being strong and taking care of me, then I don’t know what is.”

Severus sighed with relief and turned around in Harry\'s arms, planting a soft kiss on the warm lips in front of him.

\"You\'ve given me a reason to live, too, Harry,\" he said, brushing the hair off Harry\'s forehead and kissing the lightning bolt scar.

Harry smiled up at Severus, and searched the man’s eyes for any traces of hesitation or doubt. He could see that Severus still had lingering fears, but seemed empowered by the thought of freely giving control to him. Knowing that helped Harry to make his final decision.

“If we’re going to do this, there would have to be a few rules. First, I have to be sure that we can block Voldemort before you try to bait my anger verbally; that seems to be the trigger that set off his ability to possess me both times. Second, that your submissiveness is ONLY limited to our sexual encounters. Third, that until you are comfortable enough, you have both a safe word, AND your wand within your grasp at all times. That way if for any reason I am too out of control to stop, or if something just doesn’t feel right to you, you have the power to stop me.” Harry’s hand slid to the back of Severus’ neck, twisting in the silky locks and dragging the Potions Master’s lips down to within an inch of his own. “And lastly, if there is anything that is forbidden for me to do to you, you will feel free to tell me so.”

Severus grinned mischievously. \"I have the perfect safe word… Black! As in Sirius Black. That\'s a name you know damned well I\'d never scream out in the heat of passion.\"

Harry rolled his eyes, and smirked. “I should certainly hope not! And it’s actually an excellent choice. You uttering my Godfather’s name during sex would be enough to quell my arousal for quite a while.” Harry playfully nipped at Severus’ lower lip, but pulled back as Severus attempted to continue and deepen the kiss.

“What about my other demands…pet?” Harry questioned, his eyes lit with warmth and need.

\"Other demands?\" Severus kidded, his eyes sparkling though his face was blank.

Harry growled low in his throat, recognizing Severus’ teasing as his acquiescence. However, he refused to proceed before Severus verbalized that he did indeed agree to Harry’s demands.

“You know quite well what I’m speaking of, and your insolence will earn you a punishment, pet, that is, once you say that you agree to all four of my rules.” Harry nipped his way slowly down Severus’ jawline, and when he reached the Potions Master’s ear, he whispered against it. “Accio Severus’ wand.” Severus’ wand flew into Harry’s outstretched hand, and Harry stepped back enough so he could hold the wand out to his lover. “So what do you say?”

\"All right!\" Severus said, rolling his eyes. \"No baiting, the wand and safe word are within reach, and submissive only during… Oh, um… Can we change that a bit?\" He raised a questioning brow and received a skeptical look from Harry. \"Perhaps… submissive only when we\'re alone? Not only during sex…?\"

Harry looked at Severus intently for a few moments, and then nodded. “Agreed, love. As long as it’s all right for both of us to revisit this as often as we need, and to be honest with one another if it ever becomes uncomfortable, or too much. There might be times where I need your strength. Don’t lose that part of yourself…please,” Harry begged.

Severus began to reply, but Harry abruptly cut him off to add one last point. “And what about my rule about you informing me of things that I’m forbidden to do with you?”

\"I shall inform you immediately should I think of anything forbidden. Now… Shall I have this agreement written out and signed by witnesses?\" Severus said with mild irritation and amusement, crossing his arms defiantly over his chest.

Harry chuckled evilly, and arched an eyebrow, Severus’ attitude confirming that he would indeed remain the strong and powerful wizard that had captured Harry’s heart. “Oh no, my pet,” he emphasized, “This agreement is sealed in a much different manner. I believe that proper punishment for your earlier insolence must still be applied.”

Harry opened his robe, and exposed his once again erect length. He walked the few steps back to the table, and turned around his chair, gently dropping into his seat facing Severus. He took his throbbing cock into his hand, and slowly ran his hand up and down from the base to the leaking head. “Open your robe for me, pet, and then drop it to the floor.”

Severus stood blinking at Harry for a moment, his mouth watering in anticipation. He wasn\'t sure his body was up to the task of more sex already, but he couldn\'t bring himself to deny his younger lover, nor himself, of the much needed attention. He licked his lips subconsciously and forced his eyes up Harry\'s chest, away from his protruding erection, to the emeralds that stared right into his soul.

Slowly, his skilled hands opened each tiny button on his robe and let the black material hang open for a moment. He pulled the material off his shoulders, then let it slide slowly down his frame, his eyes never leaving Harry\'s. He shivered lightly under the hungry, intense gaze, allowing Harry to map out his slender form with his eyes.

Gracefully, Severus sank down to his knees and allowed his gaze to return to the cock Harry fisted languidly. He brought his hands to the floor and, keeping his eyes on the prize prowled toward Harry. He brushed his nose against Harry\'s hand, then sat back on his haunches, hands on his thighs, and waited for Harry\'s instructions.

Harry slightly sped up his strokes to his cock, as he watched Severus strip slowly and then crawl to him across the floor. Harry’s other hand reached out to caress Severus’ face. His hands slid back into the ebony locks, and tightening his grip he pulled back on the handful of hair in his fist and whispered harshly in Severus’ ear. “Quite a display, pet. But I believe I merely told you to drop your robe. I never gave you permission to come to me, now did I?”

Harry licked at the shell of Severus’ ear, before nipping sharply against the lobe. “But as having you on your knees at my feet is quite pleasing to me, I shall forgive your transgression this once. However, there is the matter of your earlier punishment.” Harry whispered a spell into Severus’ ear, and he heard the Potions Master’s sharp intake of breath as the spell took affect. Harry’s lips moved down the column of Severus’ throat, nibbling at the pale flesh and marking it with his teeth. “That, pet, is a cock ring. You will not come again until I allow it. Do you understand?”

Severus swallowed hard, his breathing already speeding up with Harry\'s touch and words. \"Yes, Mas… Lor…\" Severus stopped, his face scrunched up in thought. He had no idea how to address Harry. He didn\'t want to call him Master or Lord as that reminded him far too much of the Dark Lord. A smile slowly spread over his lips as he came up with the perfect nickname for the keeper of his heart.

\"Yes, Keeper,\" he said softly, meeting Harry\'s eyes.

Harry ceased his ministrations to Severus’ neck, and raised his head as he heard the Potions Master struggling to find an adequate term to describe his role. Harry watched Severus’ face light up as he uttered his chosen term.

“Excellent, pet. If you keep that up, I may just allow you to come tonight. Now keep your hands on your thighs until I tell you that you may move them.” Harry then sharply tugged back on Severus’ hair before lowering his lips to capture the older wizard’s mouth in a bruising kiss.

Harry’s tongue parted Severus’ slightly opened lips and swept inside of the older man’s mouth, demanding possession and surrender. He groaned appreciatively at the whimpers and moans Severus was making. Harry explored every crevice of Severus’ mouth, suckling on his tongue, finally breaking the kiss panting to catch his breath.

His mouth returned to marking the slender neck with his teeth, before pulling back to admire his handiwork. He smiled down at Severus. “You will only be allowed to use a glamour when you are in public to hide any mark I give to you. When we are alone, I always want to see them. In fact, perhaps, it might be appropriate to have a more fitting reminder of your place…pet.”

Harry murmured another spell, and a thick leather collar appeared around Severus’ neck.

Severus froze the moment he felt the collar around his neck, unable to breathe. His mind went completely blank except for the panic and need to breathe, he felt like he was choking, precious air being denied to him. His eyes opened wide and lost focus as he started to claw at the leather collar. His nails dung into the tender flesh and he screamed, his voice echoing off the walls.

Quick as lightening, Harry reversed the spell and grabbed Severus’ hands away from his throat. As Severus continued to struggle against him, Harry transferred Severus’ hands to one of his own, and gently stroked Severus’ cheek with his thumb whispering gentle sounds and nonsense words in an attempt to soothe the frightened man. He whispered a spell to remove the band of leather restraining Severus’ cock and a calming charm, hoping that the effects of the latter would at least suppress some of Severus’ panic, not wanting to leave the man’s side to retrieve a calming potion.

As the older man began to calm slightly, Harry leaned his forehead against Severus’. “It’s all right, Sev. The collar is gone, and you never have to wear one again. Come back to me; everything is all right.”

Tears streamed down Severus\' cheeks as he panted hard and fast, almost to the point of hyperventilating. He began to gently rock back and forth as Harry held him. As his mind slowed down, he realized what had happened and began babbling apologies as he clung to Harry, afraid his lover would be angry with him for not warning him.

Harry quickly released Severus’ hands when he realized that the man was once again in control of his faculties. He locked his gaze with his lover’s, and gently wiped his tears away. “Severus, love…stop. You have nothing to apologize for. I told you that you could forbid me to do anything; you are in control here. Now I need you to relax and tell me what happened, exactly, so I don’t do it again. Was it just the collar or your neck in general?”

\"I… I don\'t know,\" Severus said miserably. He felt foolish for having panicked. He trusted Harry implicitly and really had no idea why it had bothered him so much. \"I f-felt like I w-was chok-ing,\" he said between hiccups. He tried to bury his face against Harry\'s chest, hiding from his own childish behaviour.

He took several deep breaths to control his breathing and slow his heart. As he relaxed against Harry, painful memories came back to haunt him and he tried to burrow further into Harry\'s comforting embrace.

\"Lucius put a collar on me once,\" he muttered against Harry\'s warm chest. \"A choker collar. I couldn\'t breathe and passed out.\"

Harry’s arms tightened around Severus, his hands gently stroking Severus’ back. “He’ll never hurt you again, angel. I promise you that. I’ll kill him with my bare hands if he even touches you. And I promise, I’ll never put anything around your beautiful neck again.”

Severus took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He sat up and looked at Harry, his fingers running softly down the side of Harry\'s face. \"My own little hero,\" he whispered.

He closed his eyes for a moment, then uttered a spell Harry didn\'t recognize. Slowly Harry saw something appear around Severus\' neck. It was a tattoo of the exact collar Harry had tried to place on him.

\"I would proudly wear your collar, my Keeper,\" Severus said as his eyes again focused on Harry\'s.

Harry’s own eyes brimmed with tears, and he smiled gently into the obsidian eyes before him, his hands still gently stroking along Severus’ back. “Love doesn’t hurt, pet. I’ll never knowingly hurt you; remember that for me. You keep that on by choice, and if it makes you uncomfortable at any time, you have my permission to remove it. All right?”

Severus nodded and leaned in to kiss Harry. He broke the kiss with a wide yawn. He blushed and gave Harry a sheepish smile.

\"Do you think we can perhaps rest a bit before we get back to our previous, wonderful, position?\" he asked.

Harry snickered and kissed the tip of Severus’ nose. “Yes, of course we can.” Harry cast a disparaging eye towards the couch. “But this time I’m transfiguring that damned thing first.”

Their combined laughter echoed through the room as the lovers prepared for a well-deserved rest.


~TBC~


Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, and been so positive and supportive.
~ Taran and Maggie

EDITED: Beta\'d version now up!!