Sorriso

Title: Sorriso (Part 4)
Author: Anarah
Pairing: Draco/Harry
Rating: NC-17
Category: Angst
Feedback: Would love it- iibriarroseiii@aol.com
Disclaimers: Not mine, damn. I have no money, please don’t sue.
Summary: After the war, Harry tries to pick up the pieces of his shattered soul.
A/N: I know it’s been awhile since I’ve updated, but I hope people are still interested. I will be updating quicker now! This is a dark fic, contemplation and attempt of suicide, major angst. Drop me a line if you liked it. This part has a suicide attempt at the end, please be warned.

PART 4

The snow had begun to melt, little by little, unnoticed at first. The ice under their feet turned to water, standing in small puddles. Harry glanced at the man standing next to him, shielding his eyes from the blinding light. They had not spoken, yet the other seemed content in silence. Turning his gaze back over the snow, Harry felt a warm hand slip into his. He looked at the hand in surprise, and opened his mouth to speak. Suddenly his mouth was covered by soft, hot lips as the other moved closer and took him in his arms. All thought was driven away as a satiny tongue parted his lips, plunging deep into his mouth. The kiss grew deeper and more forceful, and Harry moaned, pulling him closer. The scorching lips traveled down to his exposed throat, placing sucking kisses and soft bites. Harry thrust against the hard body, trying to get even closer, moaning and murmuring incomprehensively. The mouth returned to his, kissing him passionately, as Harry was led to the spread cloak on the frozen ground.

Laying back, Harry gasped as his chest was exposed to the cold air. The burning mouth and hands traveled down to pebbled nipples. He hissed as first the right, then the left were taken and rolled in that sinful mouth, teeth nipping as he retreated. Hands drifted lower, finding the button of his pants as he was lost in another intoxicating kiss. Harry’s hands tangled in the other mans hair. Running his fingers through the silky locks, he groaned and thrust into the hand that had grasped his erection. The deft hand stroked him lightly, teasing as he lowered his pants, tossing them aside. Harry growled in frustration when the hands left him, but they were quickly replaced by warm, teasing breath ghosting over his straining cock. He thrust up, trying to get more – more of anything – and felt a strip of fire with the swipe of a tong on his length. His hips were held immobile and his cock was engulfed in warm, moist heat. Mindlessly, he tried to thrust up into the inviting mouth, as the rough tongue slid up his length. His hands found the head between his legs, gripping him tightly as the suction increased around him. Suddenly, he came, pumping his hot seed deep in the welcoming mouth around him.

He was floating in a warm haze, wrapped in strong arms, mind completely blank. As he came back to himself, Harry smiled softly, snuggling closer to the body next to him. He looked up into the face of the other man, and the words he was going to say died on his lips. He was looking at Draco Malfoy.


*** *** ***

Harry woke drenched in sweat, the bedcovers nearly strangling. U. Untangling himself, he sat up, peering into the darkness around him. As the details of his dream returned to him, Harry choked back a sob, ran to the bathroom and threw up the little he had eaten at dinner the night before. Still crying, he lay on the cold tile floor, trying to compose himself. As he lay, the memory of Dracos hands ghosting across his flesh haunted him.

He couldn’t face it all today. The well meaning Gryffindors who pretended to understand him -- the silent looks of reproach that were cast at his back when they thought he wasn’t looking. The mask he would have to don as soon as he stepped out his door. The tantalizing warmth he had felt when Draco – ‘No!’ he thought savagely, pushing the memory away. Everything was just too much now, it weighed heavily on him, making him ill. He opened his trunk, threw on his invisibility cloak, and left the tower – heading for the forbidden forest.

*** *** ***

Harry had not shown up to breakfast. Nor to his first class, and Draco was beginning to worry. Something was wrong, he could feel it. No one seemed to know anything of Harry’s absence, so Draco caught Hermione between classes to find out what she knew.

“Hermione, wait,” he called, running to catch up to the young woman. She stopped, turning to face him. Breathlessly he asked, “Have you seen Harry today?”

She shook her head, looking concerned. “He wasn’t at breakfast earlier, was he not in class?”

“No. I haven’t seen him all morning. I think something’s wrong. Can you check the tower, see if he’s there? I’ll look out at the lake, maybe he’s out there,” Draco said, trying to push away his rapidly rising panic. Eyes wide, Hermione nodded, and took off quickly for the tower as Draco made his way toward the entrance hall.

*** *** ***

Harry tripped over another tree root, as he blinked hot tears from his eyes. He had been walking aimlessly for the last half hour, hardly noticing every time he would fall, the pain a far away annoyance in his mind. Tripping once again, Harry just stayed where he’d fallen, beneath a gnarled old tree, sobbing. Pulling himself into a ball, he shivered, tears falling down his cheeks. ‘I’m so alone,’ he thought desolately. ‘I don’t know how to live anymore. Everything I’ve ever loved has been destroyed, everything I touch dies.’

The dream he’d had about Draco had just shown him how much he was missing – how much he could never have. Sobs slowing to hiccuping gasps, Harry sat up, pulling the small, silver dagger from his cloak. ‘It’s now or never,’ he thought, strangely calm. Quickly he drew the blade across one wrist, then the other. The dagger clattered to the ground, as he stared at the welling crimson flowing from his wrists. His eyes closed in bliss, and he sunk gratefully to the cold ground. The last sound he heard was a voice calling his name, before the darkness took him.