It's always easier to run

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Chapter 4

\'Our envy of others devours us most of all.\' -
Alexander Solzhenitsyn

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When Severus Snape had embarked on this expedition of finding and fetching the elusive Miss Granger, he\'d known from the start it would not be an easy task. She had been bossy, stubborn and annoying in her youth, and judging by his encounter with her, things had not changed.

He had been past the point of exhaustion when he\'d finally come across her flat. It had taken two painstaking weeks of rushing everywhere to find her, using moderate detecting skills and finding that the aid of magic was quite futile on an ex witch who\'d burnt her wand. So was the cause of him falling on her doorstep in relief and pure worn out fatigue the night before.

He had embarrassedly woken this morning under warm crème sheets -suffocatingly warm- and a tacky lion light staring at him as he groggy struggled to sit up. He\'d forgotten where he was, and in first panic he felt his hand immediately reach for his wand. Slowly though his dark eyes grew accustomed to the morning\'s first light, and glancing wildly to his left he was greeted with a rather blurry picture of what could only be Miss Granger and her parents.

He\'d frowned deeply then, feeling the pain of loss as if it were his own. There was much Snape kept hidden, and would continue to do so, especially from the likes of meddlesome ex friends of Potter.

He\'d used a cleansing spell on himself, feeling the groggy state of mind slowly leaving him whilst he threw off the bedcovers, not bothering to straighten them before he haphazardly made his way down the hall, intent on rousing Miss Granger and having them leave immediately.

He\'d poked his head in on every door he encountered, and irritated cleared his throat in preparation to bellow out her name when he\'d viewed a tuft of dark brown hair over the side of a sofa, in what he deemed to be a sitting room.

It had been an uneasy feeling that had invaded him then. One that he knew too well. He felt as if he were back in his Deatheater days, getting ready to spring on some unsuspecting victim. Creeping in the shadows, intent on stunning his victims into shock before....

He shook his head, willing himself to forget as he rounded on the pale face of his former student. She lay silently, her mouth gaping open quite boorishly as if she were in a severe coma. He\'d internally grimaced, unsure of how to act when encountering her in such a lack of composure. He\'d never actually watched a woman sleep, and having seen Miss Granger in what he could only deem an awkward state; he found that he quite easily could live without.

It was then that she\'d squirmed in her sleep, her lips pressing against one another before pursing open once more. He\'d almost jumped out of his skin at the sudden movement, internally mocking himself at being shaken at such a movement. He\'d encountered much worse. It was then he saw the plastic appliance coating the young girl\'s teeth, and having never come across any such thing in the past, felt the need to investigate.

Of course, the moment he\'d leaned over for a proper look the bothersome brat had darted awake, causing him to nearly jump back in surprise. The look of horror that had crossed her face was almost laughable, but considering the reason for his appearance, humor seemed the last thing on his mind.

Of course she\'d started nattering away in shock, just when he\'d intended on being civil to her for her prior kindness. She was always so loud. Her voice so chattery, it positively stung every nerve within him. His temple nearly busted out of his head with every icy shriek. So bad was the sound, Snape saw red when he closed his eyes, which began to sting as well. Then she in her usual bossy way, had mouthed off to him -that had been a surprise- and slammed the door to the bathroom as if that would send him on his way.

Foolish twit.

And now as he stood in the living room of the said girl, Snape was torn with the knowledge of what he should do, and what he wanted to do. What he wanted was to leave this horrendously suffocating flat this instant. He wanted to go back to Hogwarts and tell the Headmaster that retrieving the girl had proven impossible; why he could even claim she was deceased.

But the inner duty that seemed to sway with his every problem encountered won over. Besides, if somehow Miss Granger made it back to Hogwarts and he was shown not only as a liar but a bad one at that, it would prove to be irreparable, although he knew Albus had other things to worry about.

And so began Snape\'s minor exploration of Hermione\'s humble home, his long robe swishing all around his ankles dramatically. Small, he decided was the final verdict on the flat. Definitely too small for two people.

He felt the material of the sofa, surprised to find it far coarser than previously imagined. He noticed the various magazines on the coffee table, reading their titles with a snort. Her flat was small, but it was warm, cozy even although he found it suffocatingly hot. This, he soon realized was because the fireplace was on.

No wonder I can barely breathe...

He bent over to take a closer look at the fire, knitting his dark brows together in a matter of seconds. Why, this fireplace had glass in front of it...seemingly permanent. The flames taunted him behind the warmed glass, and after several minutes of trying to understand the mechanics of muggle fireplaces Snape finally stood up exasperated, swearing under his breath at the insanity of having a fire behind glass.

Standing then, his attention was drawn to the mantle above the blasted fireplace and on it he viewed the various pieces of Miss Granger\'s life, his dark eyes shooting from one to another rapidly, trying to soak up any excess information that he could. Anything that would bring her back to Hogwarts would suffice, but so far there hadn\'t been much besides pictures of her parents which he barely glanced at for good reason.

What kept his gaze was the various cluster of small photo frames, and narrowing his dark eyes in closer inspection, Snape was surprised to see that they were mainly of Miss Granger and another young man about her age with light hair and glasses. They seemed friendly, no, more than that, they seemed close. By the way he was holding her in the latter picture, they were obviously more than friends. Stranger yet was that none of these photographs seemed to move. He waved his hand in front of them a few times, waiting curiously for a response before he gave up and sighed in disgust. Muggles.

He looked closer to the pictures, seeing that they must have been recent given the length of the girl\'s hair and the maturity in her face. She made various ludicrous faces into the camera along with the young man that made Snape furrow his brow in confusion. He barely recalled the girl smiling so brightly, even during times he\'d caught her in the throws of joy with those insipid friends of hers. She was happy.

That was probably one of the only things he could stand about the girl. She wasn\'t always guffawing along with her cohorts, not always ignoring rules and so forth. She was usually reading, being responsible at such a younger age. And for that, in some small way, she had earned his minimal respect.

Of course, leaving the wizarding world in the throes of self-pity had immediately quashed any of this prior respect he had held for her and was now replaced with that of a simmering disdainful emotion towards the girl. Glancing at these still photographs with some strange young man, she looked positively elated. This was doing little to help him on his quest.

Was it jealousy? Jealousy that a girl so like himself had found happiness among Muggles? He\'d always detested Muggles as a child, and even as a young adult. Now in his maturing years he still didn\'t care much for them, but hardly paid the heritage of the children he taught, for it was of no consequence. One only need look at Miss Granger to see that heritage and background had little to do with accomplishing that of anyone else, of any rank or family.

It was beyond him as to why the little brat would want to stay here in this horribly dirty and foul world all on her lonesome. Evidently it had to do with her parents, but that didn\'t seem to be enough for him. He\'d lost his parents, and the thought of leaving the wizarding world had never occurred to him.

He viewed the handsome face of the young man accompanying Miss Granger -and in the latest picture, kissing her softly- and was deterred to see his own dark reflexion gazing back at him in the glass\' reflection. Dark, emotionless eyes, sinister lip curling and lank hair that hung around his face. Strange that he\'d never noticed his face like this before, and he blamed it on the vanity of Muggles.

He hadn\'t even time to see the rest of her home, for at that moment a wet Hermione Granger had just come out of the shower, clad in a cherry colored robe, her dark eyes downcast on the carpeted floor below her.

She was mumbling to herself about something, and from what he could hear, it was bad. She hadn\'t noticed him, and her dark hair were turning into wet waves, and dripping onto the floor. Snape watched this uneasily, finding it strange to see his former pupil in nothing but a robe and a part of him that remembered her as a brilliant, bright eyed, big-toothed student felt shame.

Before he had time to ponder such a feeling, he viewed as Hermione made her way down the hall, preparing to get dressed and ready for school. In the shower she had idly conceived of staying home from school today, but realized stewing about in regret was no way for her to move on. Snape\'s visit had been a bothersome, annoying commodity, but it was over. She wouldn\'t have to-

\"Miss Granger?\"

Hermione whirled around with fear in her eyes, as Snape had decided that before the girl could leave his sight -and perhaps the home- he\'d need to make his presence known.

Hermione in a state of obvious torn confusion, felt her heart leap into her throat at the sight and sound of her Professor, whom she had believed to be gone. What was this? Clutching a hand to her chest she let out a small shriek and jumped backwards as Snape surveyed her coldly.

\"What are you still doing here?\"

\"I suggest you get dressed, Miss Granger.\" Snape said icily, dragging his eyes to the coffee table, trying to give her the privacy of not being stared at. \"Then perhaps we can conclude our prior conversation.\"

Hermione -realizing just who it was standing there in her sitting room- clutched her robe to her, suddenly petrified it had been undone. Thankfully not. She sputtered a moment, preparing to mouth off to Snape when she realized how uncomfortable it would be to do so wearing a tattered robe. And so in a defiant swirl of cherry colored cloth, she had moved to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her loudly.

Snape let out a deep sigh, settling himself in a comfortable standing position in the sitting room, his stomach rumbling. Refusing to attend to it, he waited for Hermione\'s arrival, which came quite shortly. He\'d not been waiting five minutes before she\'d returned, a perpetual storm cloud resting over her head.

Her hair was still damp, but she looked ready to face the day -minus the glare she was giving him the moment she set eyes on him- and he was ready to have her come back to Hogwarts. Hermione on the other hand, had quite different plans. Snape hadn\'t been paying attention though, for his gaze had drifted back to the pictures of Hermione and the mysterious bespeckled young man.

\"Who, may I ask is this?\" Snape scoffed with a snort as she entered the room, lifting the various pictures of Hermione and the young man up to view at a closer proximity. Hermione blushed fiercely, her dark eyelashes clumped together from the droplets of water still fresh on her body from the shower.

\"You most certainly may not ask.\" Hermione insisted rudely, rushing over to snatch the picture from his grasp before placing it face down on the coffee table, her anger beginning to come back full force at his audacity.

\"I thought you were leaving.\" she ground out, her dark eyes positively brimming with furious and frustrated tears. Snape gave her an idle look before narrowing his own eyes, matching her temper with ease. She was just about sick to death with all this Hogwarts talk, and Snape rummaging through her life was the last straw.

\"When Ileave, you leave, Miss Granger.\" he finally said slowly as if she were a child, his voice never rising above a forceful whisper. He stared down at her, and Hermione internally wished she were taller, just a few inches so that she could perhaps intimidate him a bit. But, in the back of her mind Hermione knew it would take more than a few added inches to scare the enigmatic Professor.

\"I don\'t know what\'s so hard to comprehend, Professor.\" Hermione said slowly herself, trying to be as condescending as he. \"I am not returning to Hogwarts. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. You can tell the Headmaster I said that myself.\"

Snape\'s gaze was on hers a moment, before she flounced off to the kitchen, deeming their conversation over. He gritted his teeth, inhaling deeply to slow his raging temper. This girl was begging to be more of a nuisance than previously conceived. She made her way into the kitchen, humming to herself as if he weren\'t even there. Fine. If that\'s the way she wanted to play it, so be it.

\"I see you\'ve given yourself a new identity.\" Snape scoffed, absently throwing a furtive glance to the nametag on the kitchen table as Hermione poured herself a bowl of cereal. She refused to answer, ignoring him completely as she sat herself at the table, eating her cereal and reading some Muggle newspaper.

Glancing at the cereal box on the counter, Snape noticed there was picture of a vampire on the front of the box. Count Chocula? He\'d never heard of him. They put vampires on the cover of cereal boxes? How bizarre these Muggles were.

Truth be told, actually being in a real Muggle home was intriguing. Almost like research to him. He scanned the room, finding it all too interesting to loath as his parents had. He almost asked Miss Granger who this Count Chocula was before he stopped, putting on his best scowl. He tried not to smirk as he spoke next, knowing that a girl as inquisitive as Hermione Granger could never be satiated in the ways of curiosity.

\"How inappropriate that you would choose the name Sandra.\" he continued, his eyes flicking to the nametag. That was all it took. Telling Hermione Granger she was inappropriate was like saying that water wasn\'t wet. She knew it couldn\'t be true, but she needed to know why someone would claim such a thing.

Slowly the paper was lowered, even more slowly two dark eyes drew from their place in the paragraph stretching to meet the face of her current nemesis whose voice had sounded so smug and confident.

\"Inappropriate?\" Hermione inquired aloofly, stopping mid bite as she glanced up at her Professor, standing casually in the doorframe of the kitchen. \"How so?\"

Snape took this opportunity to glide into the kitchen more fully, his back so straight Hermione could almost see up his nose. This wasn\'t a very pleasant sight, especially during breakfast, and so was the cause for her to look at his eyes. Mistake number one. She was trapped before she even knew what hit her.

\"In Greek origin, the name Sandra means \'helper of humanity\'.\" Snape took a dramatic pause at this, seeing the imploring gaze of Miss Granger. It was fairly reminiscent of having her in class, dutifully taking in every word as she scribbled into that notebook of hers.

It was in that moment that Hermione believed that were voice depicted on paper, she imagined it would be a thick black line staying low to the bottom of the page, dipping higher in parts, but ultimately being that low, dark, depth that few could attain

\"I find it strange then, Miss Granger.\" Snape drawled slowly, his voice rumbling. \"That you of all people would pick a name that means such, when you are so obviously opposite.\"

It took a full moment for the insult to hit her, and when it did Hermione was unprepared. Many years of having Professors being kind had coddled her into a false sense of security, and so when Snape did speak it was always harshly.

Hermione had never really loathed Professor Snape like Harry or Ron. She\'d never felt the need to. She\'d admired his ability to teach, and his ability to defend what he thought was right. She\'d merely been indifferent, even perhaps finding him a bit admirable at times. But now, sitting there under his supercilious smirk she couldn\'t help but hate him a little.

\"Me, not a helper of humanity?\" Hermione reasoned, her voice going up a grating octave. \"I helped Harry get out of all those fixes-\"

\"To help yourself.\"

Hermione frowned, knowing that when it came to Harry, Snape could never budge. Instead she opted for something else, something of which Snape surely couldn\'t despise or dismiss so easily.

\"My S.P.E.W. connections?\" she said proudly, her head high. \"That was of no help to myself. It didn\'t better me in any way.\"

\"Oh no?\" Snape said lightly, a small tug of a smirk starting at the corner of his mouth and ultimately distracting Hermione. It was in this moment of distraction that Snape decided to pounce. \"Did you not feel a sense of happiness at the end? After seeing all your hard work paying off?\"

\"I suppose.\" Hermione said curiously, putting down her spoon in the bowl with a loud clank. Her gaze was on Snape, her interest immediately peaked. It had been far too long since she\'d had a real, true adrenaline pumping argument or discussion.

\"So then, its fair to say that you benefited.\" Snape said as a comment, not a question, his lean frame drawing nearer to the table where Hermione sat, raptly looking up at him in confused and wary interest.

\"Wait...\" Hermione said flustered, feeling her weight on the conversation slipping from her grasp as they continued. \"That\'s not fair.\"

\"It\'s the misconception of altruism, Miss Granger.\" Snape said lightly, \"Commonly known in the Muggle world.\"

Hermione hated being beat, and lacking in vocabulary was only something she encountered with him. It took a few pregnant pauses before she looked defiantly to Snape and uttered a hesitant;

\"Meaning?\"

\"There is no ultimate good.\" Snape said flatly, enjoying the strain on the girl\'s face. \"You may do good in the world, Miss Granger, and you may do it in an unselfish manner. But it will ultimately make yourself feel good, and in turn you benefit.\"

\"So, what you\'re trying to tell me is that there is no real, unselfish care in the world?\" Hermione said aghast. \"That no one really does anything to help anyone because somehow they\'re better of? That the only reason anyone does anything is to benefit themselves?\"

\"Precisely.\"

\"That,\" Hermione said dimly, her mouth gaping a bit. \"Is the most depressing thing I have ever heard.\"

Snape said nothing to this, finding that words not spoken made a much bigger impact than those that were. They stood there a moment -well she sat- and the words sunk in, obviously disconcerting the tightly woven girl.

\"Either way.\" Hermione finally said with a determined frown crossing her features. \"I\'d appreciate if you left.\"

\"That\'s quite impossible.\" Snape insisted forcefully, finding her curt dismissal irritating and blatantly rude. \"I\'ve been given specific instructions, and I insist on going through with them.\"

\"Well you\'ll have quite a hard time.\" Hermione said dimly, looking back to her newspaper. \"Because I refuse to leave and besides, you still haven\'t told me why you need me in the first place.\"

It was Snape\'s turn to look a bit uncomfortable at this. And fortunately for Hermione -who had viewed this- she\'d caught on automatically, seeing the sudden shiftily look his eyes had acquired.

\"Well then?\" Hermione said mockingly, \"Tell me what the plan is and I\'ll see if I can reconsider.\"

Snape glowered at her, his dark eyes practically burning into her own before he let out a rough, \"That is most impossible.\"

\"Impossible?\" Hermione said with a laugh, \"And why\'s that? Evidently you need me for something important. I demand to know what.\"

Snape fell silent, looking as if he were blushing -if that were possible for such a man- and in that awkward silence, Hermione had her answer. Her dark eyes turned into merry half moon crescents as a small sliver of bemused laughter filtered through her lips.

\"You don\'t even know, do you?\"

\"This is a most immature conversation Miss Granger.\"

\"That\'s it, isn\'t it?\" Hermione almost bellowed at Snape, who looked decidedly uncomfortable at her drawn conclusion. \"You don\'t even know why you\'re fetching me! You just came because the Headmaster told you to.\"

Snape gave her a steely gaze, his lips tightening into a dark scowl that practically took over all his features. She realized that perhaps she\'d gone too far, but considering Snape wasn\'t even her Professor anymore -just a rude prick that had invaded her privacy- she felt justified in degrading him.

\"With insipid reasoning like that, your renounced intelligence seems quite ill fitting.\" Snape said waspishly, his tone biting. Hermione felt the smug beam of superiority crossing her features. Snape didn\'t even know why he was here! But before she had proper time to gloat at this newfound information, Snape had already started in again.

\"Do you honestly conceive that I should have gone out in search of some annoying student without the rational thought that I may be caught?\" he made an annoyed face, and Hermione felt her cheeks burning at the realization of what was to come next.

\"If I was caught by any of The Dark Lord\'s spies I would have been tortured for information. Not bodily, but in my mind. They would have easily taken out any memories or plans that resided within. And so I informed the Headmaster that I didn\'t wish to be privy to such information.\" Snape concluded, his own smug smirk starting at the corners of his mouth.

\"It\'s called thinking ahead, Miss Granger. I suggest you read up on it.\"

Hermione scowled deeply, her face dropping at the realization that Snape was right, once again. She was sick to death of him being right at everything. It was if she\'d never left Hogwarts.\"

\"I have to go to school.\"

She spat out, her irritation was growing, and now as she stood, making her way from the table and heading into the foyer of the flat, she felt herself already giving up.

\"So why don\'t you just spell me back?\" Hermione insisted flatly then, the malice and ultimate care in her voice gone as she pulled on her shoes, not meeting Snape\'s eyes.

\"Just flick your wand and I\'ll be in the Headmaster\'s office in a matter of moments. You\'re job will be done.\"

\"I\'m afraid that avenue of transportation has been disapproved.\" Snape said lazily, giving her a bored look, watching as she retrieved her purse along with her car keys from their sloppy seat on the floor.

\"Believe me Miss Granger, I do not relish the idea of trying to persuade you back to the school but the Headmaster insists you come back willingly.\"

\"Why?\"

\"I assume because if you\'re forced back, you\'ll be less likely to co-operate when you arrive.\"

\"I\'ll never co-operate.\" Hermione said stonily, letting him knew precisely how serious she was. \"I\'ve made up my mind.\"

\"That is a shame.\" Snape said sarcastically, still not saying anything as she pulled open the front door, letting him know she was leaving. \"But I was given a period of time, in which to persuade you...\"

There was a heavy, sickening pause in that final intonation. Hermione felt her head swiveling to meet the gaze of Snape who had a darkly sinister smirk on his lips.

\"And just what do you mean by that?\" she said with narrowed eyes, giving Snape\'s glare a run for its money. It was Snape\'s turn to look delightfully smug then, his dark eyes almost shining with malicious glee. Her stomach bottomed out at this, and her heart pounded with sickening realization.

\"What I mean to say Miss Granger is,\" Snape said with a sinister smirk.


\"I\'m not going anywhere.\"