Unforseen Complications

Snape watched from the shadows at breakfast, while Dumbledore announced the return of Remus Lupin as the Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher. Of course the werewolf would be under strict control thanks to the wolfbane potion \'generously offered by Professor Snape. \'

The \'generous\' professor was trying not to be ill.

He noticed young Malfoy watching him carefully and offered a weak smirk. It felt good to know someone was actually worried about him. Their night time conversations over bourbon and hot chocolate had gotten so frequent that they were nearly every night now. If Snape had been an emotional man he would have said the boy was becoming so dear to him that it was almost like his son was alive. But he\'d given up hopeful emotions a long time before. Buried them with his precious child, and his soul deep love for a man who had walked away from both of them.

//If Lupin is arriving I cannot show weakness.// He made a mental note to warn Draco that their meetings must be kept a secret from the lycanthrop. Ignoring the displeased face of the headmaster he swept out of the great hall the moment announcements were finished. He might have been cornered into helping Lupin, but he would not show a happy face over it. He was not happy at all and everyone would be aware of it.


Minerva McGonagal watched Severus storm out and turned to whisper to the Headmaster. \"Albus do you think this is wise? You know what Lupin did to him. Bringing him back once was bad enough, the animosity between them almost ended in bloodshed. But to bring him back again. . .\"

\"Fifteen years ago, I made a decision that saved the wizarding world.\" Dumbledore admitted, \"But destroyed a bond of very true love.\" He sighed, \"And that almost destroyed a man who had trusted me.\" He took a sip from his goblet and sighed, \"Voldemort is still powerful, and Harry is still very young, but I fear if things aren\'t put to right, we will lose that man. It is time to put things to right, Minerva.\" The headmaster looked very old just then. \"And it is time that I unmade my sin.\"

She studied the bearded wizard carefully. \"Are you talking about Remus? Or are you talking about Severus?\"

He just smiled, the twinkle had gone from his eyes though, and turned it wan.


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Harry slipped the invisibility cloak around his shoulders and slipped quietly into the moonlit halls of Hogwarts. He was too excited to sleep. Remus was returning! Maybe he would bring Sirius again! The green eyed boy smiled widely as he slipped toward the main doors to indulge in some night flying.

A soft noise changed his plans. He peered down the stairs to the basement below and saw a platinum haired boy walking by quickly on his way toward the potions room. //Malfoy. What is he up to now?// Harry instantly dropped the idea of flying and followed the blond silently. If Malfoy was going to steal something for a potion of some kind Harry would most likely need to know the antidote soon after he made it.

It came a a surprise when Draco didn\'t go into the potions room at all, but approached the picture of Tybalt only a few feet away. He leaned in and whispered, \"Loss,\" and waited until the portrait swung fully open, then slipped into the passage. Harry followed quickly before the way closed up again. He slipped into a dark corner and swore when he realized that he was in Snape\'s private quarters.

Draco set his bag by the table in the small kitchen area and placed some milk and chocolate into a mug, tapping it with a quick heating charm and then took a spoon from one of the drawers and began to mix it. Harry\'s mind was working over time. //Why is he so familiar with Snape\'s rooms? Why does he know a professor\'s password?// His eyes widened. //The rumors can\'t be true can they?! Is Malfoy . . . doing things with Snape to get a top score in . . . no. Malfoy has too much pride to. . . doesn\'t he?//

\"Mister Malfoy.\" Snapes entrance made Harry jump a bit but the boy stayed quiet. If he was caught in Snapes rooms, he\'d get detention for life!

\"You breaking?\" Draco asked.

Snape recognized the real worry in that cold question and shook his head.

\"Lupin will be here tomorrow.\"

\"I know.\" He poured himself a drink and sat at the table, placing a large book in the center.

\"That your pensive?\"

\"Yes.\"

\"From that time.\"

\"Yes.\" He caressed the slightly worn hide and took a drink before continuing.

\"Do you really hate him?\"

\"No.\" Snape shook his head, \"But if I don\'t hate him. . .\"

\"You hate him so you don\'t love him.\" Draco observed.

\"From our talks I would say that you can understand that very well.\"

\"Yes.\" He sipped his cocoa and the room was silent for a long while.

Harry began to fidget uncomfortably. The cold words spoken between the two of them were classically Slytherin, but they were cushioned by a strong feeling of caring between the two sitting there. Not just a teacher/student caring. . . more like the way Harry imagined a family might feel. The way Ron and his dad related to each other. And the way Harry wished he could have related to his own father if Voldemort hadn\'t. . .

\"Is there a reason you brought that book out?\" Draco finally asked.

Snape nodded. \"I would like to show you what happened. So that you understand when Lupin arrives.\"

\"You don\'t have to.\" He commented. \"I understand already.\"

\"Please.\"

Harry was shocked at the dreary potion master\'s plea.

\"I need to share this with someone.\"

Draco understood that he was being offered a chance to be closer to the man he\'d come to respect and care for. He nodded quietly.

Harry couldn\'t leave without being seen. He knew he shouldn\'t be watching the memory but didn\'t know what to do. Then it was to late, and he stood in place reluctantly as Snape opened the book.

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Hogwarts
1986

Severus was working in the kitchen of a much brighter room. The place was full of little trinkets, plants and photographs that made it home. One in particular was posted upon the ice box, a smiling Remus Lupin entangled on the grass of the quidditch field was an equally happy Severus Snape.

The soft sound of the portrait opening made Severus look up with a smile, \"Remus! Go ahead and shower, dinner is almost done.\"

Purposeful footsteps brought the werewolf into the bright room and Severus turned with a smile. A smile that quickly fell when he noticed his lover\'s face. \"What happened?\"

\"Did you think I wouldn\'t find out?\" The voice was low and angry.

Snape\'s expression was questioning. \"Find out what?\"

\"Your little \'secret\'.\" Remus spat, \"Dumbledore told me. How dare you?!\"

\"I. . . I thought you\'d be happy. I did it for you, well. . . for us.\" He smiled.

\"Don\'t you dare say it\'s for me! This was never about me was it?! This is all about you and I\'m sick and tired of trying! Weren\'t you satisfied with what we had? I know it wasn\'t much but we had each other! Just the two of us. Wasn\'t that good enough?\"

The smile was gone now. \"But you said. . .\"

\"Don\'t you dare try to pin this on me!\"

Severus\' eyes were swimming and his tears were coursing down his cheeks. \"I did it for you.\"

\"I didn\'t want you to!\"

\"Remi I. . .\" Snape tried to touch his arm but Remus jerked away and swiped jagged nails over the potion master\'s face, knocking him to the ground and making him bleed.

\"Don\'t call me that.\" He snarled.

Severus cradled his arms over his stomach gently, his eyes still crying but now hardening behind the tears. \"Don\'t ever hit me again.\"

\"I don\'t take orders from Deatheaters.\"

Snape sucked in a painful breath and sobbed, \"Get Out.\"

\"Can\'t you handle the truth? Did you ever really leave them Sev?\"

Snape\'s sobs were more pronounced now, he was practically on choking them. \"You know I didn\'t want. . .\"

\"Everything is about you. Keep you precious potions. And leave me out of it.\" Remus slammed out of the door and Snape sat there on the floor, clutching his belly while the celebration dinner he\'d been preparing burned.

\"But I made it for you. It\'s not about me. Everything is for you.\" He gasped and began to cry.
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\"Severus?\"

\"Yes Albus?\"

\"Mr Lupin has left Hogwarts to work as an Agent against Voldemort. Do you have any idea why he might do something so rash?\"

\"He didn\'t want the baby.\"

Dumbledore just watched the slim man before him.

\"You told him about the pregnancy potion.\" It wasn\'t accusing, just a statement.

\"Yes, he was going to leave this morning. When he came to me I told him that he should wait until your child was born. I believed you had told him. I didn\'t mean to spoil your surprise.\"

Severus began to laugh painfully, \"Oh it was most assuredly a surprise. He\'s left me Albus. He didn\'t want the baby. He hit me and accused me of never leaving the dark lord, as if the baby was something to blackmail him with. . . he left me.\"

Albus patted Severus on the back softly, \"Give him some time young Severus. Maybe it was simply overwhelming.\" The headmaster smiled, \"It was certainly an unexpected surprise.\"

\"This wasn\'t a light argument headmaster. Lupin and I are finished.\" Snape rubbed his still flat belly softly, \"Now all I have of him is this child. This child is all I have.\"


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Draco starred at Snape for a moment before jumping from the chair to hug the older man. He didn\'t care that it could be taken as a display of weakness. The professor looked like he would crumble any moment from the memory. \"He\'s a bastard.\" The blond boy snarled. \"He isn\'t worth it.\"

\"But he was.\" Snape breathed softly, accepting the hug and returning it. \"Remus Lupin was my life, and he left me dying inside. And now. . .\"

\"Now he\'s coming back.\"

Snape nodded, \"Is it any wonder I am . . . distraught?\"

\"I wont let him near you.\"

\"That is not why I showed you the pensive Draco. I need you to understand. . . and I will need you to keep me strong while he is here. I lost everything fifteen years ago. I cannot bare to lose it again.\"

\"But you would go back to him.\"

\"In an instant.\" Snape buried his head in Draco\'s shoulder, \"That is what love is about.\"

\"I will not fail you.\" Draco swore.

The hug tightened a bit and then released and Snape quickly composed himself. \"That was very unSlytherin.\" He coughed.

\"I won\'t tell if you don\'t.\" The blond grinned, \"This can be a house free area.\"

\"In the rooms of the head of Slytherin house? That hardly seems correct.\"

\"Well since both of the people who frequent this room have. . . romantic interests in certain Gryffindors, past and present, it may be our only option.\"

\"As usual you have taken a complex situation and twisted it into a much more simple scale.\"

Draco smirked then became serious again. \"We both have our masks to wear Professor. Will we ever be able to take them off?\"

\"Perhaps you will get the chance.\"

\"I don\'t think so.\"

\"Draco. . . this isn\'t easy for me to say, and it will not be easily achieved. . . but love is a very precious magic. And no matter how it hurt me in the end I would never trade the time I had it for anything, even to get rid of the pain. Don\'t let yours go without fighting for it.\"

\"Bravery is a Gryffendor trait.\"

\"But Malfoys always get what they want.\"

Draco scowled and Severus laughed, not an evil chuckle but real laughter.

\"Go to sleep Draco. We will both need to be strong tomorrow.\"

\"Good night professor.\"

Harry snuck out behind Draco and leaned against the wall as the other boy walked back to his dorm room. //Remus. . . Snape was with Remus. . . and Remus. . .// Harry ran outside and practically slammed into the graveyard, stumbling to the grave with the roses over it. \"Love is dangerous.\" He whispered. //Harrison Remi Lupin-Snape. Remus\' son. The son he didn\'t want.// Harry\'s eyes filled with tears, \"How could anyone not want their child?!\"

\"So you were listening in.\"

The dark haired boy spun around to face the potions master. Tears streamed out of his deep green eyes and he tried hard not to cry out loud. \"I didn\'t mean to.\"

Snape studied him a moment. \"Save your tears Potter I don\'t need your pity.\"

Harry shook his head, \"They aren\'t for you.\" He .choked \"I . . . I wish I had known my parents. I wanted so bad to know them. . . how could someone not want their child? How could Remus. . .?\" Harry began to sob and found himself wrapped in thick black robes and thin but strong arms. \"p. . . professor?\"

\"If you ever tell anyone about this I will make your life a living Hell.\" Snape threatened. \"Some people can\'t love their own children. They aren\'t meant to have any. It\'s easy for them to love other people\'s children because then they only get the good and the bad goes home with the child to the parents. Remus might not have wanted this child but I did. He was loved more than any child was ever loved. And your parents loved you too. You weren\'t one of the unwanted children. Neither of you were.\"

Harry nodded wetly and burrowed into Snape\'s robes. \"I\'m sorry. I didn\'t know. . .\"

\"You weren\'t meant to Potter.\" He let go and stepped back to hide his own tears in the shadows. \"Now go back and get some sleep before I deduct 100 points for being out of your dormitory at night.\"

Harry nodded and messily wiped his tears and running nose on his sleeve before pulling the cloak on and running back to the main building of Hogwarts.

Snape knelt at the grave and touched the faceless child softly, \"I miss you, you know. Both of you. But for someone without a child. . .\" He smiled slightly, \"I have been receiving a lot of hugs lately.\" He stood and looked at the damp patch on his robes where Potter\'s tears and snot had rubbed off. \"A small taste of what we missed together, and it only makes me miss you more.\"