Harry Potter and the Occidental Ranger

Chapter Three The Mothf Alf All Explosions

History of Magic Final Exam

Harry picked his way through the History of Magic final exam as best he could. Now and then, he’d look towards Hermione, seated one chair forward and to the right of his seat, who appeared to be busily writing a book. Ron was seated directly behind him. He didn’t need to turn around to keep up with his progress, though. There were plenty of “Damns!”, “Shits!” and “What the fucks!” coming from his best buddy to know how well he was doing.

Harry found it hard keeping his mind on the exam. Every time he’d think to write something down, his mind would immediately begin wandering through the logistical problems the three of them would soon be facing. After what seemed like an eternity, the parchmewerewere collected and their school year’s examinations were finally over.

Not wasting a moment, the three hurriedly ran down to the corridor leading to Umbridge’s office. Ron agreed to position himself in such a way as to be in sight of Hermione, who would be at the office door. It was the only logical place to be, considering where her class was located and the direction from whence the old toad would most probably return to her office.

Harry and Hermione ran down the corridor and hid their packs of books exactly where they had successfully done so on previous occasions. Harry removed the invisibility cloak and the knife Sirius had given him. After throwing the cloak over themselves, he and Hermione slowly made their way to her office door.

“Wait, Harry! Not yet!” Hermione exclaimed loudly.

“It doesn’t matter. No one’s around. And we don’t have time to waste,” he said, using the knife to unlock the door.

Just as the door cracked opened, the most ungodly explosion reverberated from a distant corridor. Screams and shouts seemed to be coming from everywhere. Harry grabbed Hermione and pulled her into the office behind him, where they instantly got out from under the cloak.

Without hesitation, Harry ran to the fireplace and reached for the container of floo powder. He backed up a small bit and threw a large handful straight into the fire. The fire instantly turned green and fizzled with a most peculiar sound. Harry dropped to his knees and immediately went about trying to connect with the fireplace at 12 Grimmauld Place.

“Sirius!” he screamed, as soon as he noticed he was looking into the living area of the first floor of the ancient house. “Sirius! I need to speak to ya! Where are you, Sirius?”

“Nobody here but Kreacher!” an old house-elf exclaimed, as he walked past Harry’s vision.

“Where’s Siriureacreacher!”

“Master never tells poor Kreacher where he goes,” said the elf, shaking his head.

“I must talk to him this minute, Kreacher. Is he in the house?”

“Nobody here but Kreacher,” the old elf repeated and walked away.

At that same moment, Harry felt himself being dragged forcefully out of the fire. As he fell back out of the fireplace, he smelled Umbridge before he saw her.

“I’ve caught you red-handed this time, you little freak!” Umbridge screamed. “I’ll see you and your little arrogant friends permanently expelled from school and banned from magical privileges for life, I will! We’ll soon find your little Weasley friend, too. We saw him at the end of the corridor, we did.”

Harry looked over and saw Malfoy and Crabbe struggling to keep a hold on Hermione, as she kicked and scratched at them.

“Let me go! You’ve no right to treat us like this!” screamed Hermione.

“The only one without rights is you, you prissy little mudblood bitch!” Malfoy yelled, reaching up to grab a handful of her hair.

“Now, off we go to the headmaster’s office. The Minister of Magic can take care of the two of you at the same time he deals with Dumbledore. Crabbe,” Umbridge said, looking around, “you go help Goyle and Mr. Fitch find those three Weasley boys. It’s well past time they get what’s coming to them.”

In the back of Umbridge’s office, two of the three brooms she’d secured to the wall with lock and chains began shaking and making a hell of a racket. All of the sudden two of them broke their restraints and flew through the room and out the door at break-neck speed.

Harry smiled to himself, knowing the twins had called them. “Filch won’t be catching them,” he thought to himself. Harry looked back over to Hermione whose head was being twisted about by Malfoy. “Let her be, Malfoy!” Harry cried out, as he saw Malfoy roughly removing Hermione’s wand.

Umbridge noticed that, too, and quickly fished into Harry’s robe for his wand. After removing it, she hid it under hers and collected Hermione’s. “Now, off we go!” she said, pointing to the door. “There’ll be hell to pay this time, Mr. Potter.”

Such was the procession, as the High Inquisitor lead the way. She had a wad of Harry’s robe twisted in her meaty hands, while Malfoy followed behind with a generous amount of Hermione’s hair twisted in his.

As they passed the first open corridor, Argus Filch came running breathlessly up to Umbridge. “The two bastards took to the air, ma’am,” he fought to get out, leaning forward with his hands on his knees, completely out of breath. “We’ve yet to find the youngertherther.”

“Keep looking, Argus! Why are you wasting my time for here! Go! Find him! He must not escape!”

“What’d you want me to be a doin’ with ‘em, ma’am?” Filch asked.

“Take him straight down to your rack. Stretch the little bastard out right nice and tight. Later, I’ll bring the Granger girl down to you. Save her a place,” Umbridge replied, cackling in a most malicious way.

“Yes, ‘em. Right away, ma’am,” Filch replied and hurried off to continue his search.

Not another word was said until Umbridge burst through the dof Duf Dumbledore’s office to delightfully find Minister Fudge had just arrived. Around him stood Dumbledore, McGonagall and Percy Weasley, who gave Harry and Hermione a most disgusted look when he saw them dragged through the door. Also present were the Ministry Aurors’ Kingsley, Dawlish and Tonks.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Uninvited Guest

“What’s the meaning of this, Dolores?” Fudge asked, as he saw Harry and Hermione no doubt in custody for some transgression.

“I’ve just caught them yet again up to no good, Minister. They’d broken into my office and were illegally using the floo network. I expect he was trying to contact that criminal Sirius Black or some other felon. The girl was his lookout and has struggled like the savage she is. With your permission, of course, they’ll soon be receiving the punishment they so richly deserve,” Umbridge informed the man.

Both Kingsley and Tonks eased their hands beneath t rob robes and, to Professor Dumbledore, appeared ready to put a quick end to Harry and Hermione’s abuse. The two aurors looked to Dumbledore and noticed him barely shaking his head, letting them know he wanted them to both stand down.

Malfoy yanked again at Hermione’s hair and pulled her up next to Harry. If looks could kill, Draco Malfoy would have already been in his grave.

“Yes, of course,” Fudge replied. “You’ll need to deal with them firmly, Dolores.e cae can’t have the likes of them upsetting this fine institution any longer. And it’s most fortunate you’ve dropped by. I was just about to inform Headmaster Dumbledore of his current status or, should I say, lack thereof.”

McGonagall almost melted and would have collapsed into a chair if one had been anywhere close to her. Her legs were so rubbery she knew she couldn’t presently trust them to carry her to the nearest one, however. She stood statue still, dreadinat sat she knew was soon to come.

“Long overdue, Cornelius. Long overdue,” Umbridge said with a smirk.

“Yes,” Fudge said, turning back to face Dumbledore. “Albus, you must have some idea why I’m here today. You see, a number of the schools’ overseers, parents and ministers feel you’ve lost control of this fine, old institution. In fact, the message I bring today is very dire, I must say. A few of them, including, of course, the parents of the fine example now before us, Draco Malfoy, have steadily been voicing their displeasure over your faltering administration for some years now. I believe, Albus, in my heart, you’ve succumbed to the hysterical ranting of the Potter boy here.”

“You’d believe a known Death Eater!” Harry screamed.

Percy Weasley quicklved ved over and grabbed Harry’s other arm, giving it a firm wrench behind his back.

Fudge quickly turned around and faced Harry. “Quiet, Potter. You’ve no idea how close I am this very moment of taking you back before the Wizengamot. Needless to say, you are now the principal reason I’ve found it necessary to reinstate the corporal punishment edicts of 1624.”

“What!” exclaimed Dumbledore.

Fudge turned his head back toward the headmaster, “Yes, Albus. At the urging of a number of concerned parents and ministers, I’ve found it necessary to reinstate them. I dare say we wouldn’t have to be dealing with this mess, if they had still been in place.”

“They are barbaric, Cornelius!” McGonagall screamed out, unable to contain herself any longer.

“Yes, quite. But extreme measures must sometimes be taken, I’m afraid. We’ll be having no more talk of The-One-Who-Is-To-Remain-Unnamed any more from this one. He’s to remain chained in the dungeons here at Hogwarts through the summer. As I said before, this boy’s delusions about the No-Longer-Living-And-Unnamed-One will be quashed. I trust you’ve made proper arrangements, Dolores?”

Umbridge, who still had Harry in a firm grasp, nodded her head. “Yes, straightaway. The Granger girl and the young Weasley boy will be receiving the necessary punishments, too, of course.”

“Yes, yes, fine,” Fudge said. “We’ll soon have you back all fit and proper, Harry. I trust the new headmistress entirely in these matters.”

Fudge slowly turned around, straightened his back and was about to give Dumbledore his most dreadful news. He had decided, at the urgings of others, to have the old professor held at Azkaban until a hearing could be arranged at the Wizengamot. They rightfully believed the old headmaster had become not only a danger to others but was most probably a danger even unto himself.

At that moment, the room blinked in a dazzling bluish-white light, which appeared to come from thousands of solid vertical rods. Within the rods blinked random bits of pure white light, like millions of smallish stars. It was accompanied by the barest perceptible sizzling sound, almost as if one were listening to the high frequency static of arcing electricity. All in all, though, it was over as quickly as it happened.

Fudge jumped back in horror and Fawkes, Dumbledore’s ever present phoenix, was so startled he lept off his perch into the air. Nymphadora Tonks hair turned instantly white and stood straight up in the air. Kingsley and Dawkes found themselves slammed against the wall and unable to move. Umbridge took another dump and because Harry had twisted around violently in an attempt to break the hold she had on him, her nasty puddle ended up splattering all down Percy’s leg, making one hell of a foul smelling mess.

“What the bloody hell!” Fudge screamed, jumping back in fright.

Before them stood a rather tall, youthful wizard dressed in an indigo robe. Where the robe met at the chest, two upright swords about six inches in length had been embroidered into the fabric with what appeared to be silver metallic thread. His eyes sparkled in a naughty, mischievous way. The brown-haired wizard smiled with a facial expression well matching the gleam in his eyes.

“Greetings!” he exclaimed, nodding his head ever so slightly. “Minister Fudge, I presume?” The young wizard walked over and extended a hand to the totally flustered minister.

“Who hellhell are you?” Fudge yelled out, not extending his hand but backing up behind Percy.

The young wizard turned to his right and walked toward Albus Dumbledore. “Professor Dumbledore, truly a pleasure,” he said, extending his hand.

Dumbledore smiled largely, extending his hand. “Yes, indeed. And you are?”

McGonagall immediately noticed a wonderful twinkle had returned to her old friends eyes that had been missing for so long. From his smile, she knew her old headmaster was somehow relishing what taking place. “He’s always been so childish,” she thought to herself, feeling strength returning to her legs.

“The names Austin, sir. Austin Preston.”

“Very nice to meet you, Austin. May I introduce you to my deputy here at Hogwarts, this is Professor Minerva McGonagall,” Dumbledore said, motioning youtyouthful wizard toward her.

“What’s the meaning of this!” Fudge angrily shouted, moving out from behind Percy.

“Professor McGonagall,” the young man said, nodding his head, shaking her hand and completely ignoring Fudge. “I’ve had the great privilege of reading a number of your writings and instructions on advanced transfiguration. It’s an honor to finally meet you in person.”

McGonagall blushed and smiled bashfully like a small girl, bringing one hand to her mouth to contain what she rightfully figured would be a scream of delight. “Thank you, Austin. I hope they were not overly confusing,” she shyly replied after a few moments.

“No, certainly not. There are a few things, I must say, I’d like to one day work out with you, though. It seems I’ve had a problem . . .”

“What…..is…..the…..meaning…..of…..this?” Fudge shouted out at the top of his lungs, stamping over to stare the interloper down.
“Who do you think you are? It is not possible to Apparate onto Hogwarts grounds! You are in violation, young man!” Fudge had brought a finger up and was shaking it violently in the youthful wizard’s face.

“Forgive me, Minister Fudge. I wasn’t aware of the prohibitions. Perhaps I should leave and reenter through the door?”

“How did you Apparate into this room, young man? Albus, have you removed the protections?” Fudge turned around, steaming at Dumbledore. “Well?”

“As far as I know, Cornelius, the charms and spells are all in place and in top form,” Dumbledore replied.

“Yes, they’re present but quite archaic. I’d say it’s about time to give them a bit of tweaking,” said Austin.

“Twee….what?” Fudge confusedly remarked, all the while fuming.

Harry twisted around enough to see Hermione. She had a look of utter disbelief of her face and was doing her best to look up at the young man but Malfoy had her bent over with her head nearly touching her knees.

Austin turned partly around and saw the agony the young girl was in. “Unhand that witch, young man!” Austin shouted.

Malfoy smirked. “I’ll do no such thing!”

The air cracked with electricity and Malfoy was instantly thrown back, crashing into the wall.

“And you there, release that boy!” Austin commanded, looking into Umbridge’s face. She swiftly complied, as did Percy. “That’s much better. Harry Potter!” Austin exclaimed. “I hadn’t noticed that was you there! Such an honor!” The young man walked straight to Harry and heartily shook his hand. “I’ve wanted to meet you for the longest time. We’ve studied you most carefully. Your exploits against the criminal Tom Riddle are legendary, I must truthfully say.”

“Enough!” Fudge shouted. “Who do you think you are barging into our meeting like this? You will leave this minute or you’ll be taken before the Wizengamot immediately.”

The room instantly flashed around them again. Just as quickly, they found themselves all standing on the floor level of the Wizengamot, deep within the Ministry of Magic. Even Fawkes had instantly appeared, flapping his wings from fright, as much as to keep from falling to the floor. The large red bird made his way to Austin’s outstretched hand and lit.

“Sorry, ol’ fellow,” Austin said, bringing his free hand up to stroke at the large birds neck. “I seemed to have forgotten you were up there. Are you okay?”

Fawkes craned his head around andbledbled playfully at Austin’s ear. “Yes, you may, old fellow,” Austin said and the bird disappeared.

“What is this tomfoolery!” shouted Fudge.

“Minister Fudge, go up and take your seat,” Austin said in a commanding voice, pointing up at the raised seating area of the ancient courtroom.

It was not until then that Fudge noticed the Wizengamot’s members were all present. He shook his head as he climbed the steps up to his seat.

Austin looked around and chairs instantly appeared. Dumbledore was even impressed by that, conjuring up chairs without so much as moving his hand. The young wizard’s powerful magic had not escaped the notice of others in the room, either. All had seen the display of power, except for Draco Malfoy who lay straddled out across the floor behind them, struggling to come back to his senses. ustiustin motioned respectfully for those standing to be seated. Soon all were seated except Austin and Malfoy.

“Minister Fudge, members of the Wizengamot, Professors’ Dumbledore and McGonagall, ministers, witches and wizards,” he began. “I am here today under orders of the North American Ministry of Magic. My charging document,” Austin said, reaching inside his robe and withdrawing a rolled parchment, “I have here with me. Regretfully, I have been ordered here to deal with a very dire problem you good witches and wizards have turned a blind eye to. Your lack of action has necessitated the issuance of these orders.”

Fudge jumped to his feet. “What in the hell are you talking about? You have no authority here! You are ordered to leave at once and don’t come back! Kingsley, Dawkes, Tonks! Take him into custody, no
A
Actually, Kingsley and Tonks weren’t going to move anyway, but it soon became apparent they could not have even if they wanted to, as they were glued to their seats and their arms refused to move. When Fudge noticed that, he became even more furious. While he screamed and ranted, Austin sat down in the large chair next to Dumbledore.

“I wouldn’t do that, Austin,” Harry said, but it was too late. All around Austin chains began wrapping around him, crushing him back into the chair.

“A bloody smart shit you are now, boy!” Fudge exclaimed, laughing loudly. Only a small number of ministers, including Umbridge, gleefully joined in. “Who do you think you are, coming in here and disrupting the Ministry like this!”

Hermione and Harry were horrified. So was McGonagall. All three looked at the old professor seated next to the chained Austin Preston and couldn’t believe their eyes. Dumbledore was actually laughing so hard he had to bring a hand up to cover his mouth.

“You must forgive their ignorance, Austin,” Dumbledore said loud enough for all to hear.

The chains wrapped around Austin turned instantly into so much dust and fell to the floor. Austin came to his feet and lightly brushed away the small amount still clinging to the fabric of his robe. Turning ever so slightly toward the old headmaster, he asked, “Must I really forgive them?” Austin then smiled largely at Dumbledore and winked.

Harry, Hermione and McGonagall let loose their breath. They had been sitting the whole time breathlessly waiting for Fudge to shout out a coup de grace. The three of them looked back up toward Fudge and noticed he’d fell back into his chair. All the ministers began murmuring amongst themselves.

“Now, if I may continue, without interruption, please?” Austin asked, with a smirk on his face. “As I was saying, Minister Fudge, your administration has failed to deal with the imminent and deadly threat the criminal calling himself Lord Voldemort presents to the good witches and wizards of this world. Therefore, the responsibility of confronting and dealing with this threat has now been taken out of your hands.”

“I repeat! You have no authority here! The-One-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named no longer exists! He is a fabrication! Nothing more than a figment of this hysterical boys twisted imagination!” Fudge declared loudly.

“Surely you don’t really believe that, do you?” Austin asked out, looking up into the shadowy faces of those ministers seated within the Wizengamot.

“Before I begin the task, it appears I’ll need to clear up that bit of folly in which you’ve all been clinging. At the same time, I admit it will only be done as a diplomatic and professional courtesy. You have forfeited any right you might have had in ordinary circumstances to be part and party to my mission,” Austin said. “Minister Mcnair, come forward!”

From behind Fudge, Mcnair came to his feet, instantly struggling against Austin’s will. It just as quickly became obvious to all present that it was totally useless to even try. The evil man crashed through chairs as he fought against the spell, which was crushing him to do the will of the young wizard standing on the floor of the Wizengamot. No matter his great effort to resist, he came forward. Each step the man took was accompanied by a faint popping and creaking of muscles, joints and tendons.

As he approached Austin, he fell to his knees. His hands were folded painfully into his sides. Sweat was flowing heavily down the man’s face. His mouth had warped into an ugly grimace.

“Mcnair, would you please tell the Wizengamot how long you have been a servant of the one you know as Lord Voldemort?”

Mcnair struggled, spitting and hissing. He began throwing his head from side to side. “Sixteen years,” he shouted out.

“What orders has he given you? What are you to do for him?”

Mcnair again went through painful contortions. The wizards and witches around Fudge were gasping at the man’s anguish. “Turmoil. Turmoil, within the ministry. Deceive. Prepare for the master’s return. Kill Fudge. Make him suffer. Bleed him. Crush his skull. Kill his family. Kill all who resist.” evi evil man spitted out the vile self-incriminations. The veins in his neck and face protruded in dark, forked lines. His eyes bulged against the pressure building up within the evil man’s skull.

Finally, Austin released him. Mcnair fell unconsciously forward onto the floor of the Wizengamot.

“You’ve killed him!” Fudge screamed.

“No, not yet. But soon, yes,” Austin calmly and coolly replied, looking back up to where Fudge and the ministers sat. He stood still for some moments, waiting for the whispering to subside.

“Draco Malfoy, stand up and come here!” Austin next ordered.

Draco Malfoy slowly walked up next to where Mcnair lay, sneering and cursing under his breath. “Tell the Ministers gathered here what you know of Voldemort,” Austin calmly ordered.

“Are you fuckin’ crazy? You think he’d let me live for one minute if I told you anything? He’ll soon take the reins of power and all these bastards will be dead. That’s I k I know of the Supreme Lord. That’s what he will soon be doing. Fudge has made it easy for him. If it weren’t for you, Dumbledore would be in Azkaban by now, where he belongs. And these two mudbloods would be screaming for their lives,” Draco raised a hand, pointing at Harry and Hermione.

“Potter will soon to be reduced to nothing more than an insignificant memory. Granger is going to suffer at the hands of my father. There’s nothing you’ll be able to do to stop it, either. Don’t even try. Purebloods will rule the world. It is inevitable, inescapable. And you have no power compared to the Supreme Lord and Master!” Draco Malfoy finished his scolding speech. He then shook his head and looked horrified at what he had just said.

“He tricked me!” Malfoy screamed. “Lies, lies! All lies!”

“Sit down on the floor, you miserable little rat,” Austin directed and Malfoy fell backward, landing on his duff with a thud.

“Now, as I was saying,” Austin continued. “I’ve been ordered here to deal with the criminal Tom Riddle and his supporters. Those who have taken innocent lives will forfeit their own.”

Austin looked down at Macnair and the man’s body instantly turned into orange flame, which just as quickly dissipated. The only thing left of the man was the outline of his cremated remains upon the Wizengamot’s floor.

Chairs and tables were knocked over all around the shadowy levels of the room where the ministers had been watching in stunned silence.

Austin walked over to the cringing Draco Malfoy. “Those who, by their actions, have supported the evil being, known as Lord Voldemort, are to be sent directly to Azkaban.” Dracsappsappeared in an instant, as the room erupted in light that was seemingly coming from everywhere. The only thing noticed by those focusing on Draco Malfoy was the flash of a wide shaft of bright blue-white light, sprinkled through and through with brightly twinkling stars of light.

“Are there anestiestions?” Austin asked, looking up at the shadowy forms of the ministers above him.

The room was quiet as an empty church on Saturday night.

“Minister Fudge has passed out,” declared a minister.

Minister Bones spoke up next from somewhere near the unconscious man. “Should we send him along to Azkaban, too?” she asked.

A number of ministers laughed out raucously. This soon changed, however, when one minister spoke up and mentioned there were a number of ministers missing.

“Yes, indeed,” replied Dumbledore. “For some years, we’ve been aware of Voldemort’s reach into the very heart of the ministry. I assume, Austin, you’ve moved them for us?”

“Yes, sir,” Austin replied. “I appreciate the fact they were able to accommodate me by so kindly showing up, as they did.”

“There is much yet to do, of course,” Dumbledore said, standing and walking to Austin’s side.

Minister Bones came to her feet. “Albus, again I ask, what is to be done with Cornelius?”

Professor Dumbledore turned to confer with Austin Preston. They spoke a few moments. All the while the old wizard had his left hand up obviously stalling Minister Bones.

“It appears, from what Austin has just explained to me, that Cornelius has been acting, however misguided, in his usual egotistical way. And it also appears there is absolutely no trace of him ever being under the Imperius Curse. Therefore, it is up to you ministers to decide his fate. That is, whether to keep him on as the Minister of Magic or send him packing,” Dumbledore replied with a large smile.

It was only then that Harry and Hermione noticed Dolores Umbridge had disappeared, too. They both came to their feet and hugged one another.

“Thank God he showed up, Harry,” Hermione breathlessly whispered.

“Yeah, we almost drew thort ort straw this time. Are you okay? Malfoy looked to be roughing you up pretty bad.”

“If I’d’ have had my wand, I’d have poked his eyes out,” Hermione said, with a flash of downright meanness in her eyes.

Kingsley, Dawkes and Tonks found they’d been released from the restraining spell Austin had put them under earlier. They got to their feet and Tonks went to Harry’s side.

“Well?” Tonks began, “looks like a bit of the right kind of action to me. Long overdue.”

Harry smiled and gave her a pat on the back. He leaned closely to her and said, “Yep. Damn close call that was.” She returned his smile.

“Minister Bones!” Dumbledore called out. “We will leave you now. Please let me know when you’ve decided our Minister’s fate, will you?.”

“By all means, Albus. We’re calling for a full assembly of the Ministry this very minute. After we hear Cornelius out, we’ll either give him a vote of confidence or we will not. If he doesn’t receive the votes he needs to retain his post, he’ll be removed and the call will go out for a new election.”

Dumbledore looked around once more before again addressing Minister Bones. “And do take it easy on Percy here. However misguided and obnoxious he has been of late, I wish him to be in splendid form when he presents himself before his mother and father this very evening to beg their forgiveness for being such a twit,” the old headmaster said, looking Percy Weasley square in the eyes.

Percy was white as a sheet and looked quite ill. The old headmaster did take notice oe tee tears flowing from the young man’s eyes. “Off you go,” Dumbledore said to him. “You’ll find they are quite forgiving.”

“Very good,” Dumbledore replied and nodded his head. Austin walked up next to Harry and Hermione and they all disappeared in a flash.