The Wrath of Bronny Poo

Wrath of Bronny Poo 04

1000 questions about brainless dunderheads

Severus and Bronwyn followed the reserved security officer through a labyrinth of corridors, twisting in and amongst themselves for the better part of a quarter of an hour. Bronwyn swore they criss-crossed the same passageways several times, before finally entering a large mess hall. One wall was an open view port of the black recesses of space, stars whizzing by. Bronwyn made a beeline for it, staring deeply into the endless reaches of the night.

\"Beautiful, is it not?\" Bronwyn looked up at the Potions Master, his arm draped gently around her shoulder. It was a comforting, protective gesture.

Wrong, but comforting.

He took her by the hand and led her to a table.

\"You may have anything you desire to eat and drink. Here are your visitor badges.\" Security Officer Bob laid three badges on the table. \"Engineering Officer Scott should be here with ... Haldir... shortly. I will be back in forty five minutes to show you to your quarters.\" He smiled sweetly at the two and backed up, leaving the Wizard and the Woman alone at the table.

\"I am not waiting for that Elf.\" Severus got up, managed to find a tray and utensils and went through the buffet line, leaving Bronwyn to stare at his back.

\"And how are you doing?\"

Bronwyn jumped, the voice of Captain Kirk startling her. He was sitting too close for comfort and she edged away a slight bit.

\"I\'m as well as can be expected.\"

Kirk gave her his most charming smile.

It gave her the shivers - you know, the unpleasant kind.

\"Are you enjoying the ship? Its amenities?\"

Bronwyn stared at him like he was nuts. \"Amenities? All I have seen is sick bay and this mess hall! Truth is, I want to eat, take a shower and sit down and have a long talk with Haldir and Severus.

***And figure out what the hell is going on! How in the name of Beevis did we get here?***

Kirk continued to slide around the table, closing the slight distance between them. He reached across, and stroked her hand with a finger.

\"I would be more than... happy... to give you a... personal tour.\"

If he bats his eyelashes at me, Bronwyn thought, I\'m going to be sick, right here, right now, at this table!

\"I\'ll think about it.\"

Severus sat down, a full tray loaded with some of the most disgusting;u greasy dishes known to mankind.

\"What is that?\" Bronwyn wrinkled her nose at all the smells.

\"Southern Fried Chicken, Fried green tomatoes... mashed potatoes with pepper gravy...\"

Bronwyn was waving her hands frantically in front of her. \"I know that! It\'s just... so much! And it isn\'t your style of food!\"

Severus picked up a chicken leg and studied it carefully. \"So, I wanted to try something new!\" He bit into the greasy meat. \"Hmm. Not bad.\" He licked grease from his lips...

Kirk felt his loins tighten...

He immediately squashed the thought. (Must be all that grease!)

\"We have been in suspended animation a long time, Bronwyn. You might want to get yourself something.\" Severus continued to dig into his food, paying no heed to the horrified, staring woman or the obviously over-heated ship\'s captain.

\"Yeah.\" Bronwyn said quietly. \"I think I\'ll do that.\" She got up and went to line.

By the time she returned (chicken and dumplings, honey glazed carrots and mashed potatoes with cheesecake for desert.) Kirk had left and Haldir was sitting next to Severus.

The two were chatting amiably like old friends.

\"You should see the engine room, Sev!\" Haldir was quite animated. \"It\'s huge and it has walls of computers and lights and noise making things.\"

\"Does it have a machine that goes ‘ping\'?\" Snape asked dryly.

Haldir\'s jaw dropped. \"Yeah! How did you know?\"

Severus never looked up from his food, methodically pushing the selections around his plate as he chose what piece to spear. \"Superior brains.\" He grabbed Haldir\'s wrist as the Elf picked up Bronwyn\'s fork to lance a tomato. \"Go get your own.\" He looked at Bronwyn, who was staring at the two like they were the oddest couple in space. \"Darling, would like another drink?\" He pointed to her glass.

\"Uhm... uh... yeah...\"

The Elf and the Wizard rose from their chairs, moving fluidly back through the line.

\"Good day.\"

Bronwyn jumped yet again, this time finding the Vulcan, Mr. Spock, sitting at her elbow. His eyes were heavily lidded and he spoke to her through pursed lips. \"Enjoying the ship\'s amenities?\" He was leaning very close and Bronwyn could feel the heat of his breath on her face. She leaned back to achieve some distance between the green blooded alien and herself.

\"As I just told you captain, I have seen very little of your ship.\" She turned all of her attention to the lonely cheesecake in front of her and attacked it with all of her might.

Spock picked up her free hand and began to kiss the tips of her fingers. \"I would be more than happy to show you around. The Observation Deck is lovely, there are several gathering places that do not include food and there is my quarters.\"

\"Your quarters?\" Bronwyn choked on a piece of cheesecake. She yanked her hand from this grasp and glared at him. \"Aren\'t you being a bit... presumptuous?\"

\"You are a bard, are you not?\" he stated matter of factly.

\"A bard?\" she hissed. \"I am THE Bard, you idiot! And married!\" She threw down her eating utensil and shoved her hands out to show off her Elven Wedding Rings. \"See?\"

The Vulcan looked totally nonplussed. \"I wanted to show you my instruments that I have obtained and brought from my home, not to mention other planets.\" Bronwyn started to relax a little bit until he continued. \"And yes, I know you are married, but you also have a lover and I don\'t think adding a third to your list would be difficult. Besides,\" he almost smiled, \"it is obvious you like pointed ears and I thought...\"

\"Well, you thought wrong!\" She looked up in relief as Haldir and Severus returned to their seats.

Spock dismissed himself rather quickly.

Haldir was gazing adoringly at his plate.

It was full of things Bronwyn had never seen. One dish was still moving.

She turned a pale face to the Dark Wizard. Seeing her obvious discomfort, he motioned to where Security Officer Bob was leaning in the corner.

\"Haldir, you have made your wife ill. I am going to take her to the quarters they have provided us and get her settled. You will be occupied for the next few hours?\"

\"Oh, go on.\" The Elf waved them away, not looking and then proceed to use his fork to chase the dish, which was now running away across the table.

Stab... stab... stab...

Splat. He caught it.


He raised his fork, eyeing the morsel much like an Orc eyed helpless prey. \"Got\'cha, ya little squark!\" He popped it in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. \"Needz shahlt.\" When he swallowed, Bronwyn\'s stomach flipped. \"Scotty said he had some other things to show me, so I\'ll be a while. Go have fun!\" He stood up quickly and kissed Bronwyn on the cheek. \"You need a shower, darling. You smell like sex.\" he sat back down and reattacked his plate with gusto.

Bronwyn stumbled behind Severus, as they were led out of the mess hall.

***

Forty five minutes later, Bronwyn stumbled out of the washroom, massaging her back. Sex in the shower was highly over-rated, she thought, but she had to admit, she felt cleaner than she had in a while. Severus was most... thorough with the soap and curves and crevices had been scrubbed most thoroughly. Well, maybe it was because the refresher was only built for one and it had been such a tight squeeze for Severus and herself...

Oh well. That was the least of her worries.

The bed in their quarters was high on the priority list.

They had been given ONE room for all three of them and the bed was twice the size of a king sized bed. Bronwyn didn\'t know what kinky things were going on in whomever\'s mind, but she as not going wherever it was they thought she was going. A beautiful gown was laid across the foot and she pulled the frothy confection on. The abundant material clung to her curves and fell gracefully to the floor. Strong arms encircled her and she felt herself being nuzzled by the prominent nose of the Potions Master.

\"Hmmm. Smell good.\"

Bronwyn reluctantly removed herself from Severus\' embrace. \"We need to talk...\"

Snape shrugged. \"What is to talk about? We discussed it and agreed; Haldir gets you in the day and I get you at night. Of course,\" he continued slyly, \"it is always night out here!\"

Fists flew in the air around her head. \"That\'s what we need to talk about! Doesn\'t this entire conversation seem... wrong to you?\"

Severus pulled himself up and crossed his arms. Even without the trailing robes and him only in a scant towel, he still looked rather impressive. \"Apparently, you are distressed...\"

\"Distressed? DISTRESSED? I\'m confused as SHIT!\" She turned, her skirts flaring in the closed air, arms akimbo. \"Where the hell are we? How did we get here? What are we doing here? How did we get on whatever planet we were on in suspended animation? How long were we there? Why is Haldir so amiable to you and not minding that I am with you and why isn\'t the fact that I am apparently with the both of you not bothersome to me?\" She thrust her face in her hands. \"Haldir should have killed you the minute we woke up. Doesn\'t that seem strange to you?\"

\"You are right.\" Severus was beginning to pull on his freshly cleaned clothes, working the many buttons with limber fingers. \"I should have been sliced and diced by your Elven Warrior, yet he seems oddly at peace with our relationship. He is most definitely NOT the Big Elf who haunted my dreams for many months. In truth, I much rather prefer the ham - fisted warrior to the blonde dunderhead parading around in his body. \" He reached out and pulled her to him. \"I know this is worrisome to you. We will find him. We will get to the bottom of this.\" He tucked her under his chin, holding her closely. \"What is the last thing you remember?\"

Comforted by his long form, his embrace, Bronwyn searched deeply in her memory. \"It\'s so fuzzy...\"

\"Try.\"

Swirling, misty thoughts, all garbled... a cave... an evil voice... a white wolf, with knowing eyes...

\"I had lost something and you were trying to help me find it. We were lured into a cave and then... nothing... there is nothing else.\"


Severus gave her a gentle squeeze. \"Same with me. Do not worry, we will figure it out.\" There was a buzzing at the door. Severus released her abruptly as Dr. McCoy and Nurse Chapel stepped through the door.

***
tbc
***