Interhouse Relations

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe and all the characters are property of J.K. Rowling and whomever else has a finger in the huge franchise. I do not. I make no money nor do I claim any ownership of the people, places, and things (unless I make them up as we go). It is only to have some fun do I write this story, in hopes of some entertainment.

Warning: This chapter contains scenes with course language and mature subject matter. Reader discretion is advised.


Harry opened his eyes slowly. His head was in a fog and thumped angrily, making it difficult to think. Not that he wanted to think. Thinking, in his opinion, was evil. Not as evil as Voldemort on the evil scale of things, but definitely higher than Professor Snape. It was somewhere between the Dursleys and NEWTs. Harry just knew thinking was not good because images of last night swam groggily through his head. Being locked in a closet with Draco Malfoy was not usually fun. Not that Harry had fun with Draco! Don’t even think that. Last night something had been different. The raven haired boy didn’t want to dwell on the events that transpired in that small, hot closet, how two teens who loathed each other had decided to do… Stop that!

Groaning, Harry rolled onto his side and whimpered in confusion. He may not want to remember what had happened, but while IT was happening, it had been like he couldn’t think. It was like something had invaded his system and made him so very horny… er, made him do things, unspeakable things, things best left unmentioned, things that had felt so good. Harry turned his face into his pillow and screamed.

“Alright there, Harry,” Ron asked happily. Harry slowly turned to stare blankly at his chipper friend. Silence crept over them for a few seconds before Ron jumped on Harry’s bed. “I had the most amazing night!”

“Me too,” Harry said in dejection.

Not hearing his friend, Ron bounced on his knees. “Just wait until I tell you what happened. You’ll go spare.”

“I think I’m already there.”

“I was in the library…”

“You were in the library?” Harry asked skeptically, the idea of Ron sitting in that setting totally disrupting his self pity. Suddenly, the red head’s story held more interest. It was so unusual.

“Very funny, Harry. As I was saying, I was in the library because that’s where Hannah insisted we go to do our Herbology assignment. Like I would go there voluntarily. I’m not Hermione!” Ron snorted in amusement. Harry gave him an agreeable nod. Ron was many things, but studious was not one of them. “We had to research this flower and we were sniping at each other, just like I do with Hermione. It was brilliant.”

“How is that brilliant?” Harry wondered. Ron certainly had a way with the girls. It wasn’t necessarily the right way, though. Harry frowned. What did he know about the right way with girls? He had buggered Draco flaming Malfoy.

Ron shook his hands in the air in annoyance. “I’m getting to that. Okay, the sniping wasn’t brilliant, but when Susan came along, then it got brilliant. Harry, they started coming on to me! You should have seen them. They would have come to blows over me. Over me! But I was so smart. I said they could both have me.”

Harry blinked. Ron smiled smugly. Harry blinked again and shook his head. He felt like he was going to be sick. How did Ron get two girls while he got Malfoy? Life wasn’t fair. So he asked Ron one of the most important questions. “Did you do it with both of them?” Ron nodded vigorously. Putting his fingers to the bridge of his nose, Harry closed his eyes. “Life isn’t fair. Was it a full moon last night?”

Finally Ron noticed his friend wasn’t showing the level of excitement this news should carry. “What crawled up your butt?”

Harry winced at Ron’s choice of words. Trying to deflect the shameful attention, Harry told Ron about seeing Hermione slurping Neville’s fat cock. Screwing his face up in disgust, Ron made a gagging noise. “That’s bloody disgusting Harry. And we have to eat soon!” The gangly Weasley then dissolved into laughter and almost rolled off the bed. Harry could only scowl. He didn’t think it was that funny. It wasn’t funny at all actually. Just as he was about to tell Ron to shove off, Ron spoke up between gasps. “I always knew Hermione was mental, but I thought she had better taste. I mean, I figured she fancied… someone else.” The trademark Weasley blush flushed Ron’s ears.

“I couldn’t believe it myself,” Harry replied sadly, shaking his head. “Coming back and seeing that really made last night the weirdest night ever.”

“I’ll tell you what’s weird,” Ron declared with a shudder. “Trying to get away from tap dancing spiders. You have to be really firm with them and put your foot down. Wait a sec. Where were you last night?”

Harry’s face turned crimson, his scar fading to a pulsing white and he looked down at his hands. He really didn’t want to tell anyone this sordid piece of gossip, but Draco would probably use it against him. Harry took a deep breath and mumbled into his chest.

“What was that?” Ron leaned closer, a frown crinkling his forehead.

“I was with Malfoy,” Harry said through clenched teeth. The sound of his molars grinding against each other reverberated around in his head. The green eyed wizard would not be surprised if his teeth were ground to dust. He was glad that it was relatively late in the morning and the other three dorm mates were not there. Harry had a feeling Ron was going to explode.

With a look of dawning horror, Ron asked the question he didn’t want answered. “What do you mean, you were with Malfoy? You fought, right? Argued? C’mon Harry, you duelled the ferret, right?”

“We shagged,” Harry squeaked.

Ron laughed at the joke until he realized Harry wasn’t laughing with him. His laughter dissolved instantly and turned to fury. “Shagged? You shagged Malfoy? Malfoy shagged you? You buggered that bugger?” Ron continued to rant, his language dissolving into fouler and fouler words. Harry flushed under his best friend’s tirade. When Ron finally ran out of colourful words and innuendos, he glared at Harry in a hurt and resentful expression. Harry didn’t notice as he was too busy staring at his bedspread. There was a curious burn mark right in the center. It must have come from one of the times he cast the Lumos spell under the covers. The wand tip got very hot while lit up. “You bloody faggot!” Ron seethed. “How long has this been going on?”

Harry looked up quickly. He couldn’t believe the note of jealousy he heard in his friend’s voice. “It isn’t like that Ron,” he explained hurriedly, his voice defensive and meek. “It happened so quickly, and it’s only been the one time. I swear.”

“Oh right Harry,” Ron said, rolling his eyes. The gangly red head began pacing around the room. “This explains so much. You sneaking off at night. You coming to classes late. How you and Malfoy always have those heated arguments and trying to one up each other. It’s been foreplay! And I’ve been so blind.”

Harry stared open mouthed at his loony best friend. Where did he come up with this stuff? “You sound like a jealous boyfriend Ron,” the raven haired wizard declared.

“I do not!”

Harry stood up and faced Ron with a mischievous smile. “Are you jealous that I shagged Malfoy? Would you rather that I come to you?” Harry advanced on Ron, who backed away in confusion. A panic stricken look masked his face as he bumped into the wall. He was trapped. Trying hard not to laugh, The Boy Who Lived puckered his lips. “C’mon Ronniekins. I’ve seen the error of my ways. You’re the bloke for me. Pucker up, Buttercup.”

“Shove off, Harry,” Ron cried, pushing his friend away. He ran to the other side of the room and made sure a bed was between himself and Harry.

“Aw, you wound me,” Harry laughed. “Are you still in the closet then?”

Ron opened his mouth to reply but stopped. He cocked his head to the side and scratched his temple in confusion. “Huh?”

“Oh right. That’s a muggle term.”

“Sounds kind of queer. Why would anyone stay in a closet?”

With a light chuckle, Harry waved his friend off. “Never mind. You do realize I’m going to take the mickey out of you for a long time over this.”

“You do and I’ll remind you of shagging Malfoy.” Ron held his nose high and, in an arrogant falsetto, snorted, “Not like that, Pothead. Harder. Deeper. I’m going to tell Daddy on you if you don’t get it right.”

Ron’s impersonation was funny, but Harry didn’t feel like laughing all of a sudden. Instead, he wanted to crawl back into bed and disappear. “I don’t know how it happened, Ron. One minute I hated Malfoy, and the next I couldn’t keep my hands off him.”

“Sounds like a lust potion.”

Both teens stared at each other. It was like someone had turned on the lights in their heads. The only reason Harry had shagged Malfoy was because he had been drugged.

“Do you really think it’s possible?”

“Of course. Malfoy’s in bed with the Dark Arts after all.”

Harry closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose again. “Will you please lay off the sexual puns.”

Ron shrugged, looking for all the world, innocent. “What?” A smile broke his lips.

“My head hurts,” Harry complained dryly.

“C’mon. let’s go eat… breakfast,” Ron suggested with a wink.

“You are a sick individual.”

When the two boys entered the Great Hall, Harry felt torn between looking for Draco or Hermione. The sound of snickering floated to his ears from the direction of the Slytherin table. Fearing the worst, Harry couldn’t bring himself to glance that way. Already, he felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. Instead, reluctantly, green eyes scanned the Gryffindor table, filled to bursting with chattering students and over laden with sweet smelling, delicious looking food. Harry felt his stomach revolt at the idea of putting anything into it.

Beside him, Ron chuckled. “Look at Hermione and Neville,” he whispered, leaning close. “Don’t they make such a lovely couple? Ow! What did you hit me for?”

As Ron rubbed his bruised arm, Harry looked to his other best friend. Neville was beside her, smiling broadly as he shyly poured her a glass of pumpkin juice. It would have been a suave move if only Neville wasn’t so clumsy. The juice ended up more on Hermione’s lap then in the glass. With a shriek, the bushy haired witch was on her feet patting at her sodden robes and skirt. Neville tried to help, grabbing at her skirt and almost pulling it off. “Neville, please, just stop!” she insisted forcibly. It was amazing that her voice could be heard over the laughter from almost every person in the Hall. Even Ron was guffawing, bent double at the scene before him.

“Morning,” Harry murmured as he sat down beside Hermione. He gave her a small sickly smile but couldn’t bring his eyes to meet hers. The image of this sweet, caring, INNOCENT girl on her knees with her mouth wrapped around somebody’s, Neville’s, anybody’s penis made him light headed and his stomach lurch uncomfortably.

“Good morning Harry, Ron,” Hermione chirped clearly. She frowned at Harry’s lack of eye contact. Having his brilliant green eyes looking fondly into her brown orbs was one of the best reasons for waking up each day. The girl felt like her day hadn’t really started until she saw the emerald colour flicker in the morning light. The young witch looked curiously at Ron who only shrugged before tucking into breakfast. “Are you alright, Harry?”

The concern in his friend’s voice caused the knot in his stomach to flip painfully. He could even feel bile rise in his throat. Turning a pale green face to Hermione, Harry managed a grim smile. “Yep,” he croaked.

“Oh Harry,” the bushy haired witch cried. He hand went to his forehead, checking his temperature. There was no fever coming off the boy. Instead, his skin was clammy, cold. She studied his face, looking at every detail. Her fingers brushed lightly over the lightning bolt scar. She hated the cause for the mark, but it seemed beautiful. It was so… Harry. “You look terrible. Almost as bad as I feel.”

“Why do you feel bad?” asked Ron with a mouthful of food. He continued to munch away as Hermione’s face reddened.

She shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t talk with your mouth full. I don’t know why I feel bad. I woke up this morning with a terrible headache. My mouth was so dry and I felt like I was going to vomit.” she looked at her untouched plate and pushed it away in disgust. A shudder swept through her.

Neville leaned over, putting his chubby arm across Hermione’s shoulders. “You’ve hardly touched your breakfast, ‘Mione,” he said with concern. His eyes flicked to Harry and Ron nervously before coming back to rest on the girl. He smiled shyly.

“How was your night, last night, Nev?” Ron asked with a chuckle.

Neville’s face flushed crimson. Hermione gasped and looked in shock at Ron. Harry groaned. Ron smiled broadly. “How did you know?” Hermione hissed. She squirmed away from Neville, who looked like a Dementor was floating his way.

“I… I have to get to class,” Neville muttered hurriedly as he jumped to his feet and fled. He turned back nervously as he walked, making sure a pair of angry wizards weren’t following him. He knew how protective Harry and Ron were of Hermione. Before he could disappear from the Great Hall, the hapless teen collided with the large doors and fell on his bottom. A roar of mirth swept the chamber and followed the embarrassed Neville out.

Ron sprayed food from his mouth as he laughed along with everyone else. “What a brave wizard, that one,” he choked out as he clutched at his sides. “How did you end up with him, Hermione?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed in exasperation. “Last night was just so strange. I felt rather odd since supper.”

“Like your mind was muddled and heavy?” Harry asked curiously.

“Exactly.”

“Like you had warm itching powder in your veins?”

“Like you could only see a red haze?” Hermione suggested excitedly.

“A warm glow?”

“Tingling all over?”

“The need to shag anything that moved?” Harry gasped, staring instantly into his friend’s eyes.

Hermione giggled. “Well, I was going to say ‘a desire so strong it couldn’t be denied’, but close enough. Oh Harry, what happened last night?”

“Malfoy drugged you, that’s what happened,” declared Ron, slamming his cup of pumpkin juice onto the table. The liquid sloshed onto his hand, causing him to curse. The gangly red head flicked his sticky hand and sent a spray of juice across the table, splattering a couple of unsuspecting second years. Beside him, Harry and Hermione gave him speculative glances. “Think about it. You both shared the same symptoms and had an uncontrollable urge to *snicker* shag. Ipso facto, it was a lust potion.”

Harry nodded in agreement, but then shook his head in denial. “But Ron, why was Hermione drugged?”

“Maybe the ferret thought he could humiliate the both of you.”

“Wouldn’t he have targeted all three of us?”

Hermione held up her hands to silence her friends. She needed to think and their ramblings always seemed to distract her. Looking up, the female third of the trio smiled at the approaching girl absently.

Ginny smiled and climbed onto the bench across from her brother and his friends. Sitting on her knees, the younger girl leaned forward conspiratorially. “What’s going on with you and Neville? He was acting quite odd this morning. It looks like he fancies you Hermione.”

“Sod off, Ginny,” Ron barked. “This is a private conversation.”

“Stuff it, you ponce,” Ginny retaliated, her face flashed with hurt and anger. “Since when can’t I talk to you? I helped in the Department of Mysteries, after all. Right Harry?”

“Yeah, you helped,” Harry admitted diplomatically. “But this is different. You might be too young for this.”

“Too young? You’re hardly a year older than me. Hermione is only a few months older.” Ginny looked to the other girl for help. “Hermione, tell them.” No help came from Hermione though as she held up her hand for silence. Idly, she twirled her fingers through her hair as she stared off into space, her mind working furiously.

Smiling smugly, Ron simpered. “See, no one wants you here right now. Run along and play with your dollies.” Ginny gasped in anguish and turned away to hide the tears bubbling in her eyes. Harry shot his friend a disgusted look. He leaned back and cuffed Ron on the backside of his head.

“As I recall Ron, it was you who played with dolls,” the youngest Weasley retaliated. She watched in dejected satisfaction as Ron’s face turned red from embarrassment before she turned and ran from the Great Hall.

“You played with dolls?” Seamus asked with a wide, laughing smile. The table roared with laughter again. Colin snapped a picture of a flustered Ron.

“It’s not what you think,” he urged desperately. “I used them for target practice. I blew them up with dung bombs. It was like training.”

“Ron. Ron. Ron. Ron. You don’t have to explain,” gushed Dean with an exaggerated wave of his hand. The dark skinned wizard’s wicked smile made Ron groan. “It explains so much.”

“It doesn’t explain anything!”

“What did you have to eat for supper last night, Ron?” Hermione asked suddenly. Everyone turned confused eyes to the oblivious witch who stared at her friend. “Well?” she urged in annoyance at Ron’s hesitation.

“Uh,” Ron thought. The seconds dragged. Hermione tapped her foot on the cold stone floor. Ticking off the items on his hand, he listed the dishes he had eaten. “There was pea soup, steamed vegetables, chicken wings, roast beef with gravy.”

Hermione looked mildly disgusted at the amount of food Ron described and gave him a disapproving glare. “How do you eat so much? Harry, how about you?”

Closing his eyes, Harry thought hard about the previous evening’s meal. “A couple bread rolls, shepherd pie, some fruit, oh and that treacle tart. Ugh, that was awful. Not like it usually is.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Hermione stated with a shrug. Suddenly, the Gryffindor prefect let out a loud gasp. “That’s it! Harry, you didn’t like that tart so I helped you finish it. The potion must have been in that!”

“So it was directed at just me,” Harry exclaimed. He thumped his hand on the table, rattling his glass which Hermione hurriedly steadied. He couldn’t believe Draco was able to pull off such a thing. How could the sneaky Slytherin get a lust potion into his dessert? “Do you think he bribed the house elves?”

“How could he?” Ron asked, perplexed. “Dobby’s there and he wouldn’t let anything happen to your food.”

“Ron’s right, Harry. Dobby would make sure your food was perfect.” The girl put her hand on Harry’s shoulder and squeezed. They shared a smile, the light twinkling in their eyes. “It is quite the mystery, although I am quite relieved.” Ron and Harry shot her shocked glances. A red hue tinted her cheeks. “Well, it certainly explains why I… and Neville.. You know!”

“You can’t imagine how surprised I was to see that,” Harry chuckled sickly. He shuddered again at the mental image that crept back, unerringly, into his mind. “I’m just glad I didn’t see anything more.”

“There wasn’t any more Harry,” Hermione said sincerely, her eyes searching his intently. “Nothing else happened.”

“Really?” Harry asked. Hope seemed to float in his voice. Suddenly, it mattered to him that his Hermione was still relatively innocent. It deadened his stomach to think of anyone touching her. Voldemort would have to wait until he castrated any bloke who defiled his friend.

“You didn’t do it with Neville?” Ron asked in wonder. “What was all this at breakfast, then?”

Hermione turned angry eyes to the third member of their trio. “While we may not have engaged in intercourse Ronald, we still managed to exchange oral favors.” The frown disappeared and was replaced by a smug smirk. “Evidently, I was quite… ahem… effective.”

“Effective, Granger?” came a lazy drawl from behind them. Turning around, the faces of Draco and his ever present thugs, Gregory Goyle and Vincent Crabbe, stared down on them. “The only thing you are effective at is boring anyone stupid enough to listen to your drivel.”

“Sod off, Malfoy,” Ron spat. He looked to Harry, hoping for his friend to fire a zinger at their rival, but was stunned to see Harry staring rather fixedly at Draco’s trousers. “Harry!” he cried and slapped the Boy Who Lived on the back of the head.

“Is Potty a little tense this morning?” Draco chuckled with a wink. His long eye lashes fluttering as he gave Harry a seductive look. He leaned down so his pale eyes were level with Harry’s. “Perhaps a hot toddy will help to relieve you.” The platinum blonde teen straightened and giggled at his joke. His two peers chuckled lightly, confused as to what they were laughing at. It was a joke from Draco, so it must be funny. Draco snapped his fingers and sauntered away, Crabbe and Goyle hurrying after him.

“That rat!” Ron seethed.

“I don’t know how he did it,” Harry said with a sigh. “But I’m going to find out.”

“How?” Hermione asked.

“I’ll meet him again tonight,” Harry answered, hoping the excitement in his voice didn’t show too much. “I’ll make him talk, even if I have to ring his skinny little neck.” As Draco slipped out of the Great Hall, the three friends watched with distrustful glares and crossed arms. Unbeknownst by Ron and Hermione, a pair of green eyes glittered with desire.

Author\'s Note: this story has now been bumped up with an actual plot. there may be some interesting pairings going on, but as for now, what you see is the main pairings. yes, there is some slash. there will even be some femslash. you already saw a tiny bit of beast in chapter two. i\'ll try to work in as much fun stuff as i can. sorry about the delays. i\'m really slow lately. well now on to the reviews.

Melagic - and look, i\'ve finally updated again. no sex this time around but there will be more. we\'ll see how it goes.

Chance - glad you liked chapter three. there will be more. i\'m really glad you like the storyline.

magictrousers - i\'m so sorry that i made you wait so long for another chapter. i hope you behaved yourself and your master finally ate you out without another chapter of this story. if not, all i can say is, it\'s finally here!

Dr. Huff-Puff - thanks for your comments. i really appreciate them. as you can see, chapter three wasn\'t the end. i just had to focus more on my other stories for a bit. now this one will get a little attention. hope this chapter will keep the ball rolling.