A Hogwarts Christmas Carol

Zephyr, you are the wonderful one.
Thanks at the bottom
Not mine, theirs!!

This one is a bit more angsty.

STAVE FOUR - THE LAST OF THE SPIRITS

Severus shifted in the chair and opened his eyes. He had been stirring for a while but had tried to put of the inevitable, actually waking up. He knew now that he hadn’t been dreaming this night and that Lucius and the spirits that had visited and tortured him with past and present were as real as he himself.

He was so torn. He knew that he had just had a jolt of reality about what was going on around him, without him, and it had touched him, deep down inside, yet he just didn’t know how to fix it. He was too old and too set in his ways to change now, and would it really make a difference to these people’s lives if he made the effort?
(You know it would, you selfish bastard.) Said a small voice in his head.

Albus and Minerva missed him, they had been his friends and confidantes and he had cut them off without a seconds thought, in much the same way he had his own parents.

Draco wanted him in his life, as his family, as a father. All he really wanted was for Severus to look at Ginny and the kids and tell him that he’d done well and accept him, yet… he had never given the boy the time of day except to brush him off.

(These people have never given up on you, they’ve always defended you, whether you warranted it or not, and maybe, just maybe your life could be better if you let them into it.)
He didn’t like these thoughts. He had managed fine on his own all these years; he enjoyed the silence and solitude. He sighed and picked up the bottle of Firewhiskey. He was lying to himself and he knew it, even without the voice telling him so. He was desperately lonely, but just to proud to ask for the company of others.

\"Right then, one more spirit to go,\" he said to the empty room, lifting the bottle to his lips. \"May as well be drunk when they get here, especially if it‘s ‘The-boy-who-didn‘t-end-up-living’, \" he said without a trace of a sneer.
(It might even ease my guilty conscience a little.)

As he waited, his thoughts kept turning to what he had seen in Hermione Potter’s rooms. He had been overcome with rare emotion for the young woman and her son. He had heard people talking about the boy, around the castle and was secretly pleased that the general consensus seemed to be that he was quiet and shy, yet brilliant, a fast learner and an avid reader. Just like his mother. His mother… now that was a subject that he wasn’t ready to tackle yet. Why was she all of a sudden having a strange effect on him? Why was it that in his restless sleep, he dreamed of being there with her on Christmas day, as a friend, as a companion, as a lover? She was everything he would have looked for in a partner, if he had ever taken the time to look. She wasn’t stunning, nor was she plain. She was brilliant and intelligent, which made her beautiful to him.

Severus was just about to scold himself for having these weak emotional thoughts, a feat that was easier to do alone, in the comfort of his own rooms than it was to do when confronted with the visions he had seen that night, when the clock on the mantle began to chime. The fear that he had replaced with alcohol was back in full force. He closed his eyes and waited. He heard the now familiar whoosh of the flames and still he did not open his eyes. His rooms were silent and he wondered whether if he just sat there, eyes closed and his hands gripping the armrests of the chair, if the spirit would just leave.

\"Severus,\" said a voice quietly.

Severus’s eyes shot open, something wasn’t right.

Remus Lupin was sitting in the chair opposite him.

\"Remus?\" Severus asked more in shock than actual question.

Remus nodded and gave him a small smile. After Sirius’s death the two men had come to an uneasy truce. Eventually, as they worked together for the order they had become friends. Right up until the final battle.

\"You’re not the final spirit?\" said Severus in confusion \"You can’t be you’re not....\"

\"Dead?\" Remus supplied, with a chuckle. Then bitterly continued. \"No, I’m not dead, not yet anyway. I might as well be, I’m stuck in that horrible ward at St. Mungo’s with people that will never recover from their illnesses, my lover comes to visit me every day and I can’t tell her how much I love her or miss her or touch her hand or kiss her lips,\" he paused, obviously upset. He took a deep breath. \"But for some reason, tonight, Christmas Eve, I have been allowed, by some grace, to come and rescue a friend in need.\" He said, looking expectantly at Severus.

\"Remus,\" said Severus exasperatedly, \"I am not a friend in need. In fact I am barely even a friend.\"

\"Well, I beg to differ,\" Remus said.

\"Look, I haven’t been to see you once since...\" he trailed off.

\"Good. There‘s nothing to see,\" replied Remus evenly. \"Now, are you ready to leave?\" He asked.

\"If I have to,\" replied Severus sulkily, he stood up and Remus held out his hand like they were going to shake on it. As their hands touched, he asked, \"Are they bad, the things I have to see?\"

\"Yes,\" said Remus, softly, \"But you still have to see them.\" He looked up sadly. \"I am the ghost of Christmas yet to come.\"

And once again Severus was pulled from his home.


He recognized his parent’s bedroom as soon as he opened his eyes and turned to Remus, \"What am I doing here again, I already know how badly I let them down?\"

Remus just nodded in the direction of the bed.

(Anastasia Snape was lying in bed. Her husband was sitting by the side of her.

\"I thought I would have longer than this,\" she whispered, her voice weak. \"It wasn‘t long enough, my life,\" a tear escaped down her cheek and she brushed it away impatiently. \"Did he come back?\" She asked hopefully, the pain she was obviously in, momentarily forgotten.

\"No sweetheart, he didn‘t,\" said her husband, clutching her hand in his own. \"I‘m so sorry, I tried everything, but he just wouldn’t see me, wouldn’t answer my owls. This is all my fault. If I hadn’t driven him out, if I’d tried to find him earlier, to make amends, then maybe you wouldn’t have worried about him so much, maybe your heart wouldn’t have broken,\" He bit back a sob.

\"Don’t cry for me my love,” she said, lightly squeezing his hand. \"If he ever returns, tell him that he was my life, the both of you were, and that I loved you both more than anything.\" She closed her eyes her breathing slowed and was gone.

Alistair Snape leant down and kissed his wife’s cheek. He moved over to lie next to her and removed a small vial from his robes. He took his wife’s hand, drank the contents of the vial and ended his life.)

\"He didn’t try and contact me!\" Shouted Severus, his whole body was shaking. \"Not once, or I would have gone to them.\"

\"This is all yet to come Severus,\" said Remus gently.

Severus turned to Remus, wand in hand and tears streaming down his face. \"Undo it Remus.\" He warned. \"Put it right again.\"

\"I can’t do that Severus.\" He said regretfully. \"I can only show you what will happen if you carry on with your life the way it was before this night.\"

Severus’s temper snapped and he lunged at his friend, only to pass right through him and into Draco Malfoy’s home.

Although it was no longer the tidy homely place he saw in the previous vision.

(The cosy living room was completely trashed, with glass and wood littered the floor. Draco was slumped in an armchair mumbling to himself.

\"I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.\"

\"It’s too late for that now,\" said Ginny from the doorway. She had a black eye and a split lip and there was a large red handprint across her face. \"That was the last time I let you lay a hand on me Draco Malfoy.\"

She came into the room and dropped the holdall she had been carrying. \"We’re leaving, the kids and I. I can’t do this anymore. You are not the man I married.\"

Draco stood up and Ginny drew her wand in warning. \"Gin please,\" he begged, \"give me another chance, I love you.\"

\"I can’t Draco,\" she whispered. \"You have turned into your father. You hit me, you hit the kids, and you’re always drunk...\" She trailed off, trying not to cry.

\"Well what did you expect would happen Ginny?\" He sneered, anger taking over. \"We have no money. We are going to lose this house. I lost my job. Your family is always looking at me like I’m shit and can’t do anything right. All we ever do is fight when I try to defend myself to them, but I say nothing when you slag off my family.\"

\"What family Draco? I thought we were your family. I thought that would be enough for you. I didn’t think I always be in competition with your beloved Godfather.\" She spat back.

\"Leave him out of this Ginny,\" Draco said warningly.

\"Why should I? What did he ever do for us, for you? He wouldn’t lend you any money to help pay for this place, even though he has more money than he can spend in two lifetimes, he refused to help you find some work, even though he knew that the Malfoy name made it hard to do so. Face it, he never wanted anything to do with you!\" She shouted.

Before she had time to cast a spell he had rushed her and knocked her to the ground, causing her to lose her grip on her wand.

\"You want to see just how much like my father I am Ginevra?\" He snarled, his face close to hers. She pushed him away after a struggle and grabbed her bag.

\"I won’t let you take the kids,\" he said simply.

\"They’ve already gone. Don’t look for us Draco,\" she said sadly and apparated, leaving him kneeling on the floor, a sobbing wreck.)

\"What happens to him?\" Asked Severus quietly, pressing against the invisible barrier that kept him separated from the visions.

\"He will go out to bar on this night and pick a fight with the wrong wizard,\" said Remus quietly. \"He is killed in a brawl.\"

\"How many more?\" Asked Severus wearily. \"How many more terrible things must I be forced to watch?\"

\"Two more.\" Remus said and snapped his fingers.

They were in muggle London that much Severus could tell. The muggle world smelled different from the magical one, dirtier. They were in a room, which judging from what Severus could see out of the window, was at least twenty stories up.

(There were plates with days old food rotting on them, the wallpaper was yellowing and peeling off the walls, the floor was littered with foil and needles. There was an assortment of sleeping bags and blankets strewn about on the floor but no people.)

\"What are we doing here? I’m quite sure that I don’t know anybody who would live here,\" said Severus in confusion.

\"Yes, you do,\" said Remus quietly, indicating to a closed door. They walked over to it and Severus stood for a moment, almost fearfully, before following Remus through it.

The stench in the room was almost unbearable and Severus found himself raising his hand to his nose to try and block it out. There was no bed, just more dirty sleeping bags. Severus looked at Remus and he nodded to one of the bags. Severus walked over and crouched down to the figure huddled up in the corner of the room. The figure turned to face him and Severus jumped back, his face contorted in horror. It was Hermione Potter.

\"Is this some kind of sick joke,\" he hissed to Remus who shook his head sadly and looked at their former student. She was filthy dirty, her hair was matted and she smelt. She was very pale and her cheekbones stuck out unnaturally. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused. There was dried vomit on her face and down her shirt.

\"What has happened to her?\" He whispered, his heart clenching painfully.

Remus sighed sadly. \"This is how Hermione Granger will spend Christmas day a few years from now\"

\"Where the hell is her son?\" Severus demanded.

\"Severus, this is not going to be easy for you to hear but you have to O.K?\"

\"Just tell me Remus,\" he pleaded.

\"If things run their course the way they are now, you will dismiss Hermione on New Years Day, as your original assistant will come back. Dumbledore will give her some money out of his own pocket but he cannot do any more for her. She will go from part time job to part time job until she, in desperation comes back to the muggle world.\"

\"To this?\"

\"Severus, please,\" said Remus. \"Hermione’s parents were killed by Voldemort as you know and all the money she inherited went on funeral bills, solicitors fees, and kept them clothed and fed for the first couple of years after Harry died.\"

\"The Potters had money, why didn’t she get that?\" Fumed Severus, trying not to look at the shell of a woman who was laying at his feet.

\"All their money went on financing the war. War costs money you know.\" Remus said with an edge of impatience. \"She comes back here with the little money she has and rents this flat, but she cannot get a job as she has no qualifications or work experience. She cannot claim off of the government like out of work or parental Muggles can as she has basically been a missing person for the past seven years and has no paperwork to state who she is.\" Remus shook his head. \"Her neighbour mentions a way to make money fast by selling her body.\" Severus started at that but stayed silent. \"She does this for a few months, and the neighbour looks after James while Hermione is at ‘work’ then the social services visit the neighbour one day and find James there, as he has no identity in this world they take him away.\"

Severus could feel his throat tightening with grief but motioned for Remus to continue.

\"When Hermione finds out that her son, her only reason for living has been taken, she starts to lose her mind, and tries desperately to get him back. But by this time she is also addicted to drugs, supplied to her by her new ‘friends’, which as you know impairs magical ability. So she does not find him and lives her life like this.\"

\"What happens to James? Is she going to die?\" Severus’s voice sounded strange, even to his own ears, forced out.

\"James stays in care for as long as we can see, relatively unharmed for now as his magic has not shown itself yet. Hermione will stay like this, trapped in this life, in this hell, indefinitely.\" Finished Remus, himself barely able to speak. Severus crouched down again and tried to touch her face but the barrier would not allow it so he stroked the air as close to her as he could get.

\"Get me out of here.\" He whispered and they were gone.

Severus felt the wind on his face and knew they were outside. They were standing in Hogsmeade cemetery.

\"Well?\" he said, the sheer exhaustion of the visits visible on his face and in his voice.

Remus walked towards one of the gravestones, it was gleaming white and looked like it was cared for on a regular basis. It simply said:

Remus Lupin
Born 19th April 1963
Died 29th July 2004

Loved by Nymphadora

Hero of the Order

\"I am dead because no cure was found. No cure was found because nobody asked the right person. Nobody asked the right person because she was sacked on New Year’s Day 2004\"

Severus looked at him in shock \"Hermione?\"

Remus nodded. \"In years to come, some papers will be found tucked away in Hermione’s old quarters, She had found the cure, all but one part of it,\" he paused. \"The part that you had already found. If you had spoken to her, given her the time of day, you would have been able to cure the curse.\"

\"Remus, I am so sorry...\" Severus started.

\"Don’t be sorry Severus, do something about it, while you still can.\"

But Severus had stopped listening; he was walking to another headstone a little way away. It was the opposite of Remus’s, black as night. Severus read the words:

Severus Snape
Born 9th August 1963
Died 25th December 2010

That was all it said. \"I didn’t really expect that people would be queuing up to grieve for me,” said Severus, looking down at his own grave. \"But I thought that someone might visit.\"

\"Why?\" Remus said sharply. \"What have you done to deserve it? Albus and Minerva came on the day they buried you, but that was it.\"

\"That is all we have to show to you Severus, the rest is up to you. Carry on with your life as it is and all those who love you despite who you are and how you have treated them will perish through your own selfish behaviour. Change it now and the future could be a lot different for all of us. I hope you make the right choice old friend,\" said Remus quietly and he was gone.

For the last time that night Severus found himself back in his rooms, alone. He sat in his chair and covered his face with his hands. His sobs echoed around the chambers.


O.K. Thanks first:

Talene; Thank you so much. Sorry for the wait, I didn’t do it on purpose *smile* xx
Deb; How you doing mate? Thanks for the (as ever) great review. This has been a lot of fun to write. Strong Enough is a bit hard going sometimes because it’s mostly just the two of them, but this one is great as I get to use a lot of different characters. xx
Red; Thanks. Here you are!! xx
Waywren; Welcome and thanks! Did this chapter get you a little rilled up by any chance?!? I did think about using Harry but the marauders were just to good an opportunity to pass up, plus I had the idea of Remus being in a coma that couldn’t be cured and well... you can see what happened!! xx
Zephyr; You are indeed a wonderbeta. That was fast!! You know you rock, big time xxx
Len; Welcome and thanks!! No need to wait, here you are!! xx

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2004, wow, where does the time go? Sorry about the lack of updates but I worked more or less right through Christmas. I hope it was worth the wait!! Thanks for the lovely reviews, I don’t know why, but making you all cry makes me very happy!! I’m a bit sick like that!!

Please review!!

Updates at http://www.livejournal.com/users/grrarrg0908/