I\'ll Forget You

Chapter Three: Things Could Be Worse

Severus stood at the front of the classroom, glaring as the first years entered the room. Yet another year of complete dunderheads to mess up potions with the occasional melted pot, he thought to himself. It was only the second class that he had with them. Despite his initial speech on the first day, he noticed that a few had not gotten the message as they entered the room laughing and talking. Bloody Gryffindors!

“Mr. Flint, I suggest that you get to your seat and be quiet,” he hissed, rarely letting his Slytherins get away with things that he had once let slip by. He watched as the rest of the students settled down. “Copy the information from the board. You are to brew a simple potion that takes the sting out of cuts and helps them to heal,” he said. “Now get to work.”

He watched as they began working and then went to sit at his desk. He began to grade the summer homework essays from the sixth years as he kept an eye
on the class. He had just marked an A on one parchment when he caught the hint of smoke in the air. He looked up, realizing that someone had just set the hem of their robe on fire. He quickly pulled his wand, extinguishing the fire quickly.

“Watch what you are doing, Mr. Smith,” he hissed. The small boy nodded meekly and quietly went back to his work, keeping a good distance from the cauldron. Snape began reading another paper. The student obviously had written this the day before it was due. It was unorganized and pure shite. He gave the essay a D.

When he was on his tenth essay, he heard one of the students calling for him. “What is it?” he snapped.

“Flint melted his cauldron,” the female student said, gesturing towards the huge glop of melted pewter.

“Clean up this mess,” he hissed at Flint. “Those that are finished with the potion need to get out a vial, pour some of the potion into it, stopper it, and bring it to my desk.” He watched as the students bottled their potions, cleaned their cauldrons, and put away the ingredients. “For your homework, I want one foot about the properties of this potion. Class dismissed.”

The students turned in their potions and left – well, all except Flint who lost his potion when the cauldron melted. He was just as much of a dunderhead as his father was. Marcus had managed to fail seventh year and had to take it over again to get enough N.E.W.T.s.

He looked around, noticing some mess still left. “First years,” he muttered under his breath with a great amount of disdain. He set about straightening his classroom and getting ready for the fifth years that he had the next morning. He was busy clearing away the mess when he heard a knock on the door.

“Come in,” he hissed as he looked at the cauldron. He turned, relaxing a little as he spotted who it was. “Lupin.”

“Hello, Severus,” Remus said as he entered. “Bad day?” he asked, noticing the melted cauldron.

“First years actually. Another bunch of complete dunderheads. I haven’t seen one with any promise.” In truth, Severus hadn’t seen a first year with any true promise in potions in eighteen years since Hermione. He quickly pushed that thought aside. He waved his wand, and the cauldron disappeared.

“One of them has already melted a cauldron, and another student set himself on fire by getting too close.” He looked at Remus, noticing that his clothes seemed dirtier and more disheveled each time he saw him. He had to admit that he didn’t look like he was doing well. “Here for the Wolfsbane potion, I suppose. It’s in my private lab. Come.” He motioned for Remus to follow him.

Remus looked around the lab and sighed, watching as Severus prepared the potion to take that would allow him to keep his mind while he changed. Severus dipped out the potion, placing it in a vial for Remus to take later.

“I heard that Ginny is teaching here,” Remus commented. Severus nodded. Remus lightly touched the table. “How are things with you, Severus? I rarely see you except around the full moon.”

Severus glanced at him. Remus had been spending more time with him lately when he came for the potion. “Things are the same as always, Remus.” He paused. “And how are you?” he asked even though he didn’t really want to go into it. He had a feeling that there had been something that Remus wanted to discuss with him, but every time he came close to spilling it, he would back away and leave. Severus really didn’t mind talking to Remus. He was about the only friend he had besides Albus.

“Well, things could be better, I guess,” Remus stated, taking the vial of the Wolfsbane Potion from Severus, then looking at him intently. “You don’t realize how lucky you are, Severus.”

Severus turned and blinked at him in surprise. Lucky? He? “Why in the world would you think that?”

Remus looked at him. “You may not see it, but you are. You have a job and a purpose. You don’t have to be locked away from the world during a few days of the month.”

Severus shifted uncomfortably and purposely began to busy himself. “My purpose ended when Potter destroyed the Dark Lord. You have a lot of friends, Remus. They don’t care about what you are.”

Remus sighed. “I do have friends. You, Albus, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, even Draco.” He knew that there were even a few others. “It’s not quite the same as it was though. My two best friends died too many years ago. I have to rely on James’ son to allow me to have a place to even live because the bloody Ministry won’t allow me to work. I’m not even classified as a human anymore according to them. Perhaps I should have...” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Severus. I didn’t mean to bring this up.”

“What should you have done?” Severus asked, waving aside the apology. “I know you’ve been trying to talk to me about something for months. Spit it out, or do I have to get some Veritaserum to make you talk?” He was rather tired of all this dodging around.

Remus looked at him, knowing that he was serious about the Veritaserum Potion. “Perhaps I should have died in the war like they did,” he said quietly as he looked at the floor.

Severus stared at him, hardly believing what he just heard. “Is it really THAT bad, Remus?”

Remus sighed. “Sometimes. I’m sorry, Severus. I guess I get a little more depressed around the full moon. You have your own problems.” He looked up at him. “Thank you for the potion. I do appreciate it.” He turned and left, leaving a completely stunned Potions Master standing in his wake.

Severus left the Potions lab after a moment and went back to his rooms. He sank down on the sofa and sat there, staring unseeingly into the fire. He never really thought that things were so bad for Remus. He had always envied him, aside from the werewolf part. He had friends. He was part of the Marauders. He wasn’t constantly tormented, yet Severus was beginning to understand that perhaps he had been a little wrong to assume everything was so great with Remus. Over the years, Remus had become more of a recluse. He couldn’t work. He was barely considered human, and his two best friends had died during the war. He was still alive though most werewolves did not normally live very long. Being a werewolf made it impossible for him to marry or produce children.

Severus could technically do those things that Remus could not, not that he had ever had much luck in such things, especially when his heart was caught up with the woman who had left him and who had obviously never truly wanted him.

A sigh escaped his lips as he got up and poured himself a glass of Firewhiskey. He sipped the warm liquid. His life wasn’t the best in the world. He wouldn’t mind if it could be a little better as well, but he had to admit that things definitely could be worse.


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