MISSION: Get Hermione Laid

AN: Sorry all, I have to go away for a week or so (family emergency and all that irratating stuff that comes with real life) and really don\'t think I\'ll have an opportunity to post any chapters during that time due to the presence of my little brother and sister who really don\'t need me corrupting them! However, I will be sure to do some writing the old fashioned way (pen and paper for those who have forgotten what that means!) and will post as soon as I can.


\"Out of his lap, then,\" Snape drawls. \"I do believe we are waiting for your cards, Her...Miss Granger.\"

Oops, okay. I get up out of Sirius\' lap - damn it! - and slip back into my own seat. Hm, can think much more clearly now after that little jaunt! Good!

\"Hermione, you sure you want to keep playing?\" Shit, that came from Sirius! Either that or Lupin can throw his voice...

\"Course!\" I say with a grin.

I see a quick exchange of looks between him and Remus, ending with Sirius shrugging his shoulders. Haven\'t the vaguest what that was about and don\'t care...

\"Well?\" Snape snaps impatiently, as I recover my cards from the floor. Damn, not even a pair. Sulkily throw the lot to the table.

I glance around the rest of the hands splayed across the table while nicking yet another one of Snape\'s cigarettes.

Find the winning hand - Ahh, Professor Snape, what do you have in store for me? How about another round in the doggy\'s lap? Wouldn\'t mind, honest!

\"Right, Miss Granger, you wish to play a fair game, or so you would have us believe. I seem to recall spending a round sucking on your toes, correct?\"

\"Mmhm,\" I say, delighting in that little memory. Wait, he doesn\'t wait me to do that to his toes, does he? Fraid I\'m not that sporting, Professor...

\"And your disgusting display with that,\" he cocks his head at Sirius as he speaks, \"has left me feeling rather...shall we say ‘uncomfortable’...\"

\"Ah, so what you\'re saying is that you wish for me to replace your cigarette with your \'wand\'?\" I tease. \"...Professor.\" Oops, almost forgot that bit!

\"That would suffice.\"

Oh, the understated Slytherin pitch, eh Sir? Well, what the hell. Never tried that before, but of course tonight is all about new things, and one more surely won\'t hurt... besides, Ginny has told me that boys are much more willing to do the same for you after you\'ve done it for them...

Besides, wouldn\'t mind knowing precisely what Potions Master hides under his clothes...

As I get out of my seat once more the most shocking thing comes from Sirius\' mouth. \"I think that\'s enough, Hermione. Game over.\"

What? Wait, that was Sirius, not Mr Conscience-has-the-better-of-me Werewolf, wasn\'t it? Double check. Yep, indeed one very sexy Sirius still to my right. Now I am confused. Did I do something wrong?

\"I believe that we are only just beginning,\" Snape growls at Sirius. So did I!

\"Remus is right, you\'re far too drunk,\" Sirius continues. What? WHAT? WHAT?!

\"I wasn\'t too drunk ten seconds ago!\" I basically whine.

\"Well, that was before ...\" Sirius suddenly cuts himself short. He gives Remus another odd look.

\"Before what? You finger fucked her into oblivion? Don\'t be so bloody selfish!\" Snape bellows at him. I giggle at his choice of words. Doesn\'t seem to impress either Remus or Sirius though.

\"Sirius is right. Bed time, Hermione,\" Remus chips in his two sickles.

Damn the both of them!

\"Getting too much for your likes, is it?\" Snape\'s tone is really nasty now. Really shouldn\'t be turning me on as much as it does...

\"For Merlin\'s sake, Severus, the girl is a virgin!\" Sirius suddenly snaps.

Oh, so now the doggy has morals all of a sudden! Damn, damn, damn!

MISSION: So close, yet so far...

Snape shoots Sirius a look, which blatantly says he doesn\'t give a shit.

\"Don\'t I get a sn thn this?\" I protest. Now sex object status seems to have been shattered must start relying on brains again...Giggle at this though...and I placed my brains where?

Sirius gives me an interested look, while Lupin continues to look dubious.

\"I have a little confession.\" Right, time for a bit of the truth to come out... \"I had every intention of getting rid of that little problem tonight.\"

\"Hermione, no way did you plan this!\" Lupin scoffs, waving a hand over the cards on the table.

\"Not this, precisely. Actually, planned on pouncing on someone down at the party, but the contenders were pretty...dismal.\"

\"Really?\" Sirius asks hopefully. \"So if it weren\'t for this game you\'d be doing this anyway?\"

I nod my head.

MISSION: Rescue plan in action

\"Beautiful story,\" Lupin says sarcastically, \"unfortunately, Hermione, I don\'t believe you.\"

\"Who cares!\" Snape interjects. \"She\'s perfectly willing...\"

\"Would hardly expect your likes to understand!\" Lupin spits back.

\"Well,\" Snape drawls after a few moments, \"since the two of you are so keen on knowing the truth, there is one way...\"

Sirius raises an interested eyebrow at the Professor.

\"I happen to be quite proficient at Occlumency.\"

\"How do we know you\'ll tell us the truth?\" Lupin scoffs.

\"When I have not? I may be a nasty piece of work, Lupin, but I have never once lied to you.\"

Lupin appears to think very hard for a few minutes, glancing back and forth between Snape and I. Sorta funny really – never thought I would be agreeing with Snape on anything outside of facts and figures, let alone this! And the sight of Lupin looking all very serious with a bare chest and tie still on is almost laughable.

“Very well.”

YESSSSS! Oh, hang on, that means Snape is going to read my thoughts! Oh dear… Start thinking of things I mustn’t think about, then realise that is precisely what I shouldn’t be doing…

Somewhere during these moments I heard Snape’s spell “Legilimens!”

My panic deepens…

“Bloody hell, you stupid girl, just relax!” Snape snaps at me, his brow furrowed in concentration. “I don’t give two shits right now about the stupid pranks you and those two dunderheads have pulled!”

Okay, Herm, just think about earlier tonight… Images from this evening race through my mind, talking to Ginny and Harry, surveying the lounge, standing outside the doorway to this room listening to their conversation…oops! I can feel him inside my mind – really an odd feeling, I must admit. Not being able to control one’s own thoughts…course, come to think of it, the alcohol has basically done that anyway. Tee hee. Finally I feel him leave my mind…

“Miss Granger,” Snape finally speaks, with a smug grin, “is indeed telling us the truth.”

“Why the look of panic then?” Lupin is still sceptical as he turns to me. I blush furiously.

“Miss Granger has been a rather naughty girl,” Snape goes on with an evil grin, “Appears she was listening to our little conversation about her from outside the door.”

Lupin looks at me, quite embarrassed. Sirius, on the other hand, is giving me a broad grin. Good doggy.

“On with the game then.” The smirk on Sirius’ face says it all.

“I believe given my knew knowledge of Miss Granger’s … misbehaviour I have a more fitting wish for my winning hand.” Snape is giving me that evil one eyebrow raised gaze again. Oh, cripes! Now what?

“I believe we settled on your reward,” I squeak. Well, it’s worth a try. Give my lips a not so subtle lick while I’m at it. Swear Sirius whimpers, however Snape appears to have a little more control than I’d hoped…

“Bad girls deserve spanking Miss Granger. Oh, and to answer your question, it most certainly is bigger than that!”

I cover my eyes in shame, yet I can’t help peeking through my fingers at him, and a silly grin soon spreads over my face. Knew I shouldn’t have been wondering about Snape’s endowments while he was in my mind, but I couldn’t help it! So, bigger than Bill Weasley’s, huh? Oh, get your minds out of the gutter, people! I accidentally walked in on him in bed with that bimbo…I mean, Fleur Delacour a few years ago. Wow, bigger than that? Boy, am I in for some fun, I mean trouble, I mean… oh, what the hell, FUN!

However, the spanking…Hm, frankly am a little worried about that. Though I think this will change my mind about telling Harry about having Potions Master crawling at my feet earlier. Can just imagine it now…

‘So, Mione, what did he do then?!’ Harry will ask.

‘Oh, just put me across his knee and spanked me’. Yeah, right.

“All right, Professor, you win. Won’t tell Harry.”

“Excuse me?” Snape drawls, cocking his head at me. “I should bloody think not, Miss Granger. However, you are holding up the game!”

I give Remus a pitiful look.

“Come on, Severus, leave off her.”

“Oh, for pity’s sake, think I want to leave that much bloody evidence lying around? I’m not going to hurt you!”

Indeed. Can see it now. Dumbledore having a friendly chat with Snape – ‘So, Severus, I believe you spent last night shagging Hermione senseless? No? So, do explain to me then why your handprint is still very visible on her rear end?’

However, I then catch Snape’s “…Much.”

Give Sirius a questioning look.

“It’s just one round, Mione,” he replies with a shrug of his shoulders.

Fine, fine, fine. Get up from my chair and walk around to the Professor’s side of the table. Gods, this is embarrassing, despite my drunken state. Decide need another drink before I delve into this – after all, they used to use alcohol instead of anaesthetic, didn’t they?

Give Snape a devious look before grabbing up his almost full glass from the table and downing the lot in one go. Ahh, right, that’s better.

“That, my dear, was not a smart move.”

You don’t scare me, Snape. Well, not now I’m absolutely buzzing in a firewiskey induced state. I give him a devious grin.

In a rather unladylike manner I lie over Snape’s lap and brace myself.

His long fingers brush at the backs of my knees, then I feel him slowly slipping my skirt up, brushing the backs of my thighs as he goes. Gods, I am shivering in anticipation now. He’s so very close to where I would much rather have those fingers…

“Very cute, Miss Granger, but no need for these.” Merlin, help me! His voice is velvety evil. He proceeds to hook the waistband of my panties under his thumbs and pulls down until the elastic is sitting just under my rear end. Wonder precisely what sort of sight my lily white bum makes for the world… I glance over at Lupin and Sirius – both seem utterly enthralled. Can’t be too bad then…

Snape’s hands trace light circles over my skin, almost tickling. Oh, oh, oh! His fingers are drawing so close to my wet folds now, just a little further, just a little… Ahhhh!

“Well, if there was any doubt left as to whether she was willing or not, I believe I have just found your answer, gentlemen.”

“Shit.” Goodness, did that just come from Lupin?

Snape runs one long finger back up, dipping just ever so slightly inside me. I buck back as quickly as I can, trying to impale myself on him.

“Miss Granger!” he snaps. His hand leaves me for a moment, then slaps back down on my backside, stinging to all hell. I squeak in surprise. “No one said you could move!”

“But…” I begin to protest.

His open palm hits me yet again. “Or talk!”

I whimper just a little, but I am beginning to wish for the next one. Gods, my sadistic side appears to be rearing what I thought was it’s non-existent head.

Once again Snape begins to run his fingers over my skin, which is now even more sensitive than before. Finally he delves back into my depths again, if only for a moment, and I manage to contain my sigh of pleasure. Yet he leaves there all too quickly once more. His finger travels straight the crease between my cheeks and grazes over my rear entrance. Oh my goodness! Don’t manage at all to contain myself this time. I swear that moan must’ve been heard down stairs…

“I thought I told you not to make a sound!”

Imagine my skin is not so lily white anymore…still, this is most definitely worth it!

Slap! Ooh, there goes another one…

“What was that for?”

“Because, Black you twit, are not playing the game. Get dealing!”

Ah, Snape has moved the hand that was resting on my thigh up and it is now roaming around inside my panties much to my approval. The other hand is brushes over my bum, threatening to slap me again. Gods, don’t know what I want more now – that or for him to…

Oh, yeah. His finger, which is wet from my own juices, is now playing over the tight muscles that surround my anus. That combined with the languid strokes two of the fingers from his other hand are making inside of me is almost unbearable in the sweetest way…

“Like that, do you?” Snape growls from above me. Seems reasonably favourable to Snape also – rather large bulge from his pants in currently digging into my belly (and it does indeed feel larger than what Bill appeared to own…)

Yet his hand leaves me once again to redden my cheeks.

“Answer me when I talk to you!”

Get the sneaking suspicion that I was doomed either way I had dealt with that, but who cares!

“Yes!”

Yet another slap.

“Yes what?!”

“Yes, Sir!”

“Better.”

MISSION: What mission?

Mind is beyond thinking anything besides how delightful those fingers are.

Oh, oh, OH! The very tip of one of his fingers has worked its way between those aforementioned tight pucker of muscles and it feels fucking awesome! The fingers of his other hand continue to pump inside me and I am so close to a repeat of what occurred in Sirius’ lap it is unbelievable…

“Don’t you dare!” Snape growls at me.

Too late, Sir. The removal of that finger sends me over the edge just as he brings his hand up to spank me again. Am perfectly aware that I am screaming out Professor Snape’s name while writhing in his lap and don’t give two shits!

“Fuck me!” I cry out. “Fuck me, Sir!”

“Your turn, Hermione,” Sirius chuckles. “Get you an ice pack, dear?”

Damn, damn,na n! These rounds really should be longer…



AN:

Wow! I am so thrilled by all the reviews I’ve been getting! They mean so much to me, honest! Give me plenty of inspiration for the next chapter (read as: Fervesco shamelessly begs for you all to continue reviewing…)

XxphenixX – little antidote for your virus right here I hope!

Daeth – done! (I’ve told you all begging most certainly works!)_

Shem – trust me, do not read hot fanfiction and then try and study. Does not work! Cheers dear!

Jo – Can’t do much about the jealousy part – tho perhaps copying this into word and find and replacing Hermione’s name with your might work! Being in New Zealand, and imagining your not (I swear I am the only perverted HP fan in this bloody country) I can only tell you that Red Dwarf is only on here on UKTV…Sorry!

Rilla – Story go on forever? Gods – as much as I try to avoid real life, I’m afraid this will eventually have to come to an end, but not just yet!

Deb – Three’s the lucky number, ain’t it? As for the maths exam – well, hope the dribble about Sev, Siri and Remus that was running through my head didn’t end up on that page. Can see it now: if x=3+y what does y equal? Severus Snape fucking me senseless…yes, that’ll get me a pass, I’m sure…

Cw – thanks!

Malfoy’s bitch – will do! Cheers!

Luxy – drunk this goes very well – once again been into the wine, hope there’s not too many mistakes here!

Anon – Thank you!

Shags the Dustmop – Goodness me! Thank you!

Bansidh – Done, my dear! Thanks!

AlphaRyoko – I am not going to be held responsible for your laundry bill ;)

Hawk – Oh, she will have plenty more fun with the three of them yet!

Laerai – Plot? *looks under chair, under keyboard, then sideways around the room* oh, hang on, if I tilt my head sideways there might be just a little there… Thanks!

Titania – Let me know how your game goes! Could think of a couple of guys I wouldn’t mind calling over myself, yet don’t think my man would be too pleased (pity…)

MadisonFairie – Thanks!

Deedee – know what? I can’t look at a pack of cards at the moment without grinning like a maniac!

Sher – oh, Sirius will get some more, promise!

Miss Crystalix – Love me? Now, I don’t think you mean that! I think you might just be grovelling for some more…done my dear! Oh, and mind brewing me a little polyjuice while you’re at it?

Maku – Talented? Hm, if only writing smut paid better… *sigh* Thanks!

Alexial – Cheers!

Maddy Riddle – Trust me, drooling on keyboard a bad idea and really hard to explain to the computer shop… Thanks!

Animegrl – Great smut writer! Wow, thanks! Pity I want to write a kids book… doh… Cheers!

Jess – Bugger the maths exam! Bugger the MATHS EXAM! I wish! Fraid other people might kill me if I ditched it. However it is done now and a new chappie for you…

Lizzie – Me too! Thanks for the wishes for exam – went ok I think! Mm, don’t you just computers with minds of their own…

Jess – Anything? Oh, my, you have no idea what you are getting yourself into! This one is free of charge, but the next, well… we’ll have to see!

Raija – ah, and tonight on the news ‘unexplained cold water shortage in many regions of the world…’ Thanks!

Introspect – Starting to think my nasty side should come out more often! Thanks!

MsPixie – 90th reviewer! Wow! I honestly can’t believe how many reviews I am getting and really do appreciate each and every one!

LilyMalfoy – Will get to your fics ASAP! Thank you!

Kate – my, do keep breathing! Can’t give me another splendid review if you don’t! Hermione sandwich – but with Fervesco as mayo I believe…

Nesscafe – I have a feeling you might quite enjoy this chapter! Ah, Remus and his tie – and I thought I only had eyes for Sev! Apparently not!

Andrian – Thanks!

Redone – Cheers!

Maddy – Now, I’ve been called all those names before but not in such a wonderful manner! Detention with Snape? Now that would get me writing another chappie! Oh, Professor, I have been a rather bad girl…Wish I was a bloody know it all – well, a certain bloody know it all anyway! Snape first huh? You’ll have to see…

Jazzylady – Thank you!

Viviane vC – Will do!

MissM – Thanks!

Shel – waiting is over!

Miss Crystalix – thanks for the luck for the exam! Needed it, trust me! Okay, in this fic Remus is Herm’s professor again (though not really important, but hey!) so, as in the books, the ‘kids’ think of him as Lupin rather than Remus. Sirius, being Harry’s godfather, is referred to as Sirius. One request – once you’ve got that polyjuice send some my
way will ya? Need to do so …uh…research! Yes, that’s it!

Katie – Thanks!

Dee – I am honoured! Thanks!

Ashley – Will do! Thanks!

Buttercup – I wouldn’t mind some not so nice men myself ;) Well, just those three…

Deblovesdragon – Best fic ever? Ah, blatant flattery - works everytime!

Meagan – Thanks!

Virgy – Hi dear! You love me too? Brilliant! Piton in Italian, huh? Weird – just cos it doesn’t really mean anything in English, can’t see why they’d want to change it. Oh, well. Personally, I think Snape sounds so much sexier…Oh and ya-yas means thrills.

Genrou – done! Thanks!

Lane – Ooh, slapping me now! And if you kill me I can’t write any more ;)

Nony – Thanks!

AKK284 – Done! Talented? Hm, overly active imagination perhaps! Thanks!

So sorry if I missed anyone!