Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures
Zyta

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters or the world that they are playing within- that honor goes to the genius JK Rowling. I’m just playing with her toys, but I promise to give them back with all their hair and clothes in tact. Maybe. I don’t make money from this, and I doubt anyone would pay anyway.

A/N: Slash. If you don’t like Male/Male pairings with sex involved then you shouldn’t read this. There’s also quite a bit crude language in here, mostly the F dash dash dash word. If you’re uncomfortable with adult language, move on to the monkey bars kiddies. This is the adult’s sandbox.

This story was an idea born from one question. What if Snape decided to ‘save his own neck’?

*Chapter four is short but sweet. The next chapter will be a bit longer. Shout out to all the reviewers who have taken the time to tell me they’ve enjoyed the story. Thank you! Glad you’re enjoying it so far. Hope you’ll enjoy the rest as much.

‘Nough of this. Onward…


(¯`•._.•[Chapter IV]•._.•´¯)
Perchance To Dream

Dreams were not something Remus Lupin looked forward to. They were dark things, nightmares and night terrors that left him gasping in the bonds of his sheets coiled around him like snakes squeezing the life from him. They had gotten much worse in the recent months. He had not seen James and Lily’s deaths, but he had seen Sirius’. That day in the Department of Mysteries repeated over and over like a broken record in his mind, only the end would change. He would never catch Harry in time, and he would scream mutely as Harry followed Sirius behind the heavy veil.

Then there were the old nightmares. The ones he had since he was a boy. He was the wolf, running under the full moon that was impossibly bright and large in the black sky where the stars were always absent. He would run through the Forbidden Forest, his friends in their animal forms at every side. And then, something would change- perhaps it was he who changed. The pack became the prey, and he would chase the stag and the dog while the mouse rode on his back.

He would catch one or both in his jaws, the teeth closing into the soft flesh of their flanks, before he would pounce on the neck. Breaking it or closing off their windpipes, and there was blood mixed with fur before the glassy eyes of his friends stared up at him with accusation for the monster he was. Only he would be human as well, and the wolf would be beside him, gazing with hunger.

There were other dreams, but he never remembered them as vividly as he remembered those. They haunted him, reminders of what he became and what he had failed to stop. He didn’t fear the wolf as he used to any longer. There was only a sad acceptance. He would remind himself that he was more than that monster. That he had become a kind and caring man, perhaps in view of the vicious creature the moon always called to.

Now he stared down at the vial in his hands, it’s violet contents glinting in the light that flickered from the candles placed around his room. No one had asked him where he had gone when he returned, and he hadn’t felt compelled to tell anyone. Explaining it, explaining why- he felt that he owed it to no one. If Snape had whispered some secret to him, then he would not betray that trust. Just as he had never betrayed Sirius’ trust even when it was a possibility he was after Harry. The wolf in him, he, was too loyal for that.

The moon was up. He could feel it humming outside the window. The transformation was still tweks eks away, but his bones ached at the very thought of it. Still time enough to find Snape- none of the others had any better leads. Not that he expected them too.

The words the seer had said swam through his mind. The snake, he was sure that was Voldemort. No need to wonder whom the wolf and the raven were. If he didn’t find Snape in time, Voldemort would find him- and then somehow be led to Snape. How would Voldemort know to seek him out, he didn’t know. He didn’t want to find out.

He pulled the cork out of the vial, a fleeting smile flickering across his face as he thought of what Snape would have to say about him taking a potion he knew nothing about. He was a Marauder, he enjoyed the risks and the suspense. Without thought, he lifted the glass to his lips where they chilled the flesh before tilting his head back to allow the potion to flow down his throat.

His face screwed up at the bitter taste, and he smacked his tongue to the roof of his mouth to try and rid the taste. It was like sucking the sap from bleeding flower stems, or chewing on ivy leaves. He had never received a decent mark in Potions, and he couldn’t identify any of the ingredients other than the fact most were plants of some sort.

And then his eyelids became heavy, drifting down to a point where his bedroom blurred out of focus. His fingers went as numb as the rest of his body, and they relaxed and lost hold of the glass vial. It slipped out of his hand and smashed to pieces on the floor, but the sound of it breaking seemed as if it were muffled. He was drifting, far away, on a current that led him from land. His body drifted with it, hitting the bed with a heaviness he was sure was more then his slight weight.

And then all was quiet.

••.•´¯`•.•• ••.•´¯`•.••

He was in the Forbidden Forest again, the moon high in the starless sky. He felt fear, as he always did, knowing something bad was about to happen. But there was a subtle change in the way he saw the forest. The way he was thinking. It was not the quiet thoughts of an animal that only existed in the now on its senses. There were no grays, but colors- albeit tinted with a silver gleam from the moonlight. The sounds weren’t terribly loud, and the smells weren’t as discernable but blended together into a scent that could only be called the forest itself.

He gazed down, and saw very human hands leading into robed arms. Legs below that and leather clad feet. He looked back up at the full moon, and felt a brief surge of an indescribable joy that he was still a man. He laughed, a deep chortle that came from the very depths of his being as he twirled in a child like wonder.

And then he stilled as he spied the large black dog sitting and watching him with bright eyes. His head was cocked to the side, large pink tongue lolling out of the side as it smiled at him. Remus paused, walking in a way that felt more like he was floating above the blades of grass and fallen leaves to his friend. He knelt down beside the dog, reaching out to scratch Padfoot behind the ears just as he liked.

Padfoot panted appreciatively before standing up, butting the top of his head into Remus’ thigh before turning and trotting through a path between the tall dark trees. Remus stood and followed automatically, keeping up with Sirius easily.

“Where are we going?” He asked.

Padfoot turned and grinned again, “to the nest.”

Remus didn’t question Sirius’ ability to speak in his animangus form- without so much as twitching his lips. He accepted it as one would accept anything when it was all so beautiful and right. “The nest?”

“Mhm.” Padfoot answered, turning down the trail and leading him out of the forest.

Remus looked around. They didn’t come out near Hagrid’s hut as they should have. There was no tall fairy tale castle in the distance, no lit windows glowing like welcoming stars. Instead, they were looking up at a dark iron gate.

The structure was old, and it showed. The iron twisted like vines in an intricate pattern that seemed alive and still growing. There were spikes at the top, lifting as spears towards the night’s sky. Padfoot walked forward, his paws padding on the cobblestone they were now standing upon. He extended one paw, pulling the great gate open with little effort, and leaving Remus to wince as they groaned and creaked loud enough to echo all around him. When Padfoot had created enough of a gap, he slipped inside.

Remus followed, and as soon as he stepped sideways past the gate he stood look up at something out of a gothic novel. The mansion had seen better days. The grounds were overgrown, the grass rising high and uneven it’s wild abandon as it swayed in a breeze he couldn’t feel. There were shrubs, what might have once been a beautiful garden, that had also been neglected. There was a fountain near the circle that carried up to the door, but it was chipped and green with moss. No water flowed from the hands of the carved witch reaching up, and she seemed to mourn the fact.

The manor itself was dark and riddled with shadows. Its angles were sharp, its shape grand in scale but hollow looking- empty and haunted. The black windows were empty eyes that made Remus shudder for some reason he couldn’t remember. The shudders had either fallen off or left slanted and broken. The paint was chipped in great patches, leaving the damage that pests had caused visible to the eye. It groaned under another breeze that Remus couldn’t feel, and as he craned his neck back to look up to the very top, he spied gargoyles that stared at him with snarling faces. Their wings the only thing that seemed to be holding up the over hangs and the roof.

Remus looked back down to Padfoot, the pair somehow standing in front of the giant doors although Remus had no memory of walking to them. “Where are we?”

“The nest,” Padfoot answered, “Snape Manor. Piece of shit, eh? Worse than the House of Black.” Remus gazed at the twisted doors. He heard strange howls from within the house while Padfoot continued to speak. “No wonder he turned out the way he did. You can feel the darkness in this place.”

And Remus could. It poured from the house and it’s surroundings like a tide of grief. Hissing to be left alone. “I think it’s sad.”

“You were always too soft hearted, Moony.” Padfoot answered, and Remus’ eyes found his friend’s again. “You know where to go now?”

Remus nodded. Through the woods to Snape’s house he’d go. He chuckled a bit, and the house seemed to hiss and moan in offence at whatever humor he’d found from it. He cleared his throat and looked back down to Padfoot. “How did you know where it was?”

“Because I watch over you.” He answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Damn clever of the bastard. Tell you about a place you’d never been to while you were asleep. So that when you wake up you’d have no idea where he was, even though you’re the only one who could find him.” Sirius snorted, and it was loud and long through his canine nose. “Sneaky Snivellus.”

Remus smiled as he looked up, this time catching a lit window. His eyes were drawn to a shadow looking back with glittering black eyes. “Do you hate me, Padfoot?”

“No.” Sirius answered, turning on his haunches and walking back down the steps and away from the house. His voice rode the wind as he walked back to the gate. “I could never hate you.”

“Then don’t go!” Remus suddenly shouted, reaching out for the dog growing smaller in distance.

“Can’t stay.” Came the saddened answer, but the voice brightened again. “Don’t worry about being late for the party, Moony. Prongs and I will wait.” He was walking beyond the gate now, and Remus wanted to run after him, but his legs wouldn’t move. “You always were the responsible one. Just have to finish everything.” The gates were closing by the time Remus was finally able to move, but as he crossed the distance Padfoot was fading from behind the bars. “Just remember to have some fun while you’re still here.”

And he was gone.

Remus fell to his knees, staring out at the spot where Padfoot had been. He wanted to go to the party with his friends. He hadn’t seen them in so long. Why did he get left with everything? He sighed, deeply, before turning back to the house.

The shadow was still in the window, still watching him. Remus gazed up at it. It called to him, promising things. He couldn’t hear what, but he knew that he needed to listen. If he could just listen to what it was saying. The shadow then left the window, leaving only a low mournful light that seemed to be growing brighter. So bright it was blinding. Remus shut his eyes to keep it from burning. But it wouldn’t go away.

And then he opened them again, staring up at the ceiling of his room while a patch of sunlight fell across his face through a crack in the curtain. He sprang up, the dream vividly clear in his mind. He could still see Sirius, hear his words. He sucked in a breath, looking up as if he could see Sirius floating over him like Nearly Headless Nick. But he wasn’t there.

Was he just a figment, or was that really Sirius? It had felt like Sirius, his voice and eyes. Even in the shadow of the house it had felt like his friends bundle of energy.

The house.

Remus’ eyes widened as it popped into his head so clearly. As if it had been someplace he knew very well and had visited before. Although, he was certain, he never had.

He leapt out of bed, feeling more energized than he could remember being in a very long time. It seemed to take so long to pull his robe on, and even longer to run out of his room and down the stairs. He hopped on one foot as he pulled on his boot, while Moody’s eye circled in its socket like a tornado as he regarded Remus from the kitchen table. “Where’s the fire?”

“Snape’s house!” At the incredulous look from Moody- he clarified. “Where he grew up!” Remus stated with excitement, hopping to the other foot as he pulled that boot on. “You know it?”

“Yeah, been there when I had to nab his father for a couple of murders. It’s-“ Moody paused, and his ragged brow that was only half there- the rest of his face scared with burns- lowered in confusion. “That’s odd. Can’t recall where it was. Can’t even remember what it looked like.”

Remus just smiled like a loon back at Moody. He knew where it was, knew exactly where it was as if Snape was whispering its location in his ear right there. Only one explanation for that, and it was the Fidelus Charm. His suspicions had been right, only he hadn’t figured on Snape using him of all people as his secret keeper. “Don’t worry about it.” Remus stated as he finished lacing the boot, and ran a hand through his rumpled hair.

“About what?” Moody grumbled, turning back to his coffee as if he had never heard Remus speak.

Remus only grinned wider before grabbing his cloak and opening the door. “Don’t wait for me.” He advised before stepping through the front door. His heart felt fluttery as he apperated away, a clear view of the gates in his mind.

••.•´¯`•.•• ••.•´¯`•.••