More Than You Think You Are

Unwell Part 2

But I\'m not crazy, I\'m just a little unwell
I know right now you can\'t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you\'ll see
A different side of me
I\'m not crazy, I\'m just a little impaired
I know right now you don\'t care
But soon enough you\'re gonna think of med hod how I used to be

I\'ve been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they\'ll come to get me
Yeah, they\'re taking me away
~ Lyrics by Matchbox Twenty


Part 2

Severus closed his eyes, wincing from the pain. He had sustained quite a nasty hex to the head and he could barely see out of his left eye. He held Harry close to him as he mumbled ancient healing charms as well as prayers. Albus gripped his shoulder tightly, “It is of no use Severus. Just make him comfortable.” The old wizard’s robes were singed in several spots, and he had two identical cuts on each side of his face.

The ambush worked exactly as they had hoped. Everyone played their part until it was Harry, Severus, Albus and Lord Voldemort left in the streets. Several businesses would need to be rebuilt. Quality Quidditch Supplies had sustained quite a bit of damage. The windows in the Owlery had exploded with the force of one of Albus’ spells and currently the occupants were escaping.

The aurors had arrived and detained the very few Death Eaters that were still alive. Remus and Tonks stood watch inside The Leaky Cauldron, prepared to attack anyone that wasn’t on their side. The Weasley boys managed to distract Lord Voldemort long enough to get him to follow them into The Leaky Cauldron. They wanted to keep the attack out of the streets of London. All it took was one failed Avada Kedavra! from Ron and he followed. However, that failed curse had cost Ron his life, and injured Charlie as well. Ron’s body now lay motionless across one of the tables, protected by his older brothers. Ginny had gone with her father into London, prepared to attack any Death Easters that may come their way.

In all, it took less than an hour from the time the attack began until it was over. Harry hadn’t even known Ron was gone before he dueled for the last time. It was spectacular. Much like it was when they had dueled in the graveyard. Only this time, Harry was much more prepared. Sadly though, he hadn’t fully realized what it meant when he killed Lord Voldemort.

Harry had cast the killing curse, and it was magnified tenfold by his strong powers. Lord Voldemort fell to the ground, clutching his throat. Harry had then run a dagger straight through his heart. Well, in the spot his heart would have been had he had one. Albus quickly placed a charm on Lord Voldemort, making him unable to get away.

As Lord Voldemort took his last breath, Harry felt his head go light and he fell to the ground clutching at his scar. Severus fell te gre ground as well. His Dark Mark was fading and was slowly being replaced by freshly scarred flesh. He cried out in pain, but none of his cries were as loud as Harry’s. Albus immediately went to his side, and tried to keep him from banging his head on the brick walk. He gently placed Harry on his back and then cast a charm to take away Harry’s pain. However, nothing worked. Blood flowed out of the scar and Harry’s eyes lolled in his head.

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

Hermione didn’t mind working late. It helped to pass the time away. She had planned on going to Grimmauld Place in two weeks and wanted to get as much work done as possible. She had been studying diligently for her tests and hoped to take the licensing exam before she left for her mini-holiday. Tonight, she was dusting the shelves and doing a bit of rearranging before she left. Glancing at the clock, she realized that it was nearly ten-thirty and she hadn’t even noticed.

The day had been horrible for her. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach and didn’t know why. She made her way over to the far eastern corner of the shop and started rearranging the herbs and potions there. She had almost finished when she knocked a can of pickled pig’s eyes to the floor. As she reached for it, she noticed a faded shiny badge glistening in the light. She picked it up, and immediately began to cry.

She cried out into the night, and screamed out his name. “Damn you Harry Potter! How could you do this to me!” She knew he had been there. And by him coming to see her, yet keeping it unknown until now, she knew what happened. It all made perfect sense. Tonks’ emotional state and her last words when she visited helped her come to her conclusion. She quickly closed the shop and replaced the wards. She had to get to Grimmauld Place as soon as possible. She didn’t care about apparating into the muggle street. It could have been full of muggles and she still wouldn’t have cared. She had to get there.

Her mind raced with reasons for him coming to her. Although she thought of a dozen, none seemed as plausible as the first one. He had come to say goodbye. She wondered how long he stood in that corner watching her work.

She apparated into the street and ran toward the spot where she knew the house was. She mumbled the phrase and the door appeared. Hermione ran her wand down the length of the door and rushed in. She just knew he’d be there waiting for her. They all would. Perhaps they were having a feast in celebration of the holiday. She closed the door behind her and took no notice to the shrieks of Mrs. Black. She ran into the drawing room and found Molly sitting in a chair, staring out the window into the moonless night.

“Molly, where is everyone?” She still asked although she knew the answer.

“Hermione dear, what are you doing here? You should be in France. Safe and sound.” Hermione had had enough of everyone worryiboutbout her protection. She knew more hexes and curses than most of the aurors in the Ministry of Magic. Yet, she had been sent away like a little child.

“I am here because I know that I am needed.” Molly looked at her wearily.

“Hermione love, you’re too late. I suppose they should be arriving right now. I had the wireless on and heard them announce that Harry has once again defeated the Dark Lord.”

If that was what happened, then Hermione couldn’t understand why Molly looked so glum. She should be celebrating the end of the war. “Why aren’t you celebrating then? We should be with everyone.”

Molly put her face down and the tears began to fall. “Hermione, they haven’t said what the destruction was, or who was killed. I am waiting for everyone to return. Until then, I can’t stop worrying.” Hermione felt sorry for Molly. She had taken such good care of everyone in the Order. They all must have seemed like her children. She hugged Molly tightly to her chest and tried to quiet her tears.

“Shh… It will be okay. You’ll see. Everyone will be back here in no time. We’ll have a big feast and celebrate the death of the Dark Lord.” Molly clung to Hermione as if she were her lifeline. She tried to quiet her tears, but she couldn’t. She kept on crying until they heard the clink of the door.

Hermione released her and ran to see who was entering. Most members of the Order were returning. Fred and George looked like hell. They broke into tears when they noticed Hermione staring at them.

“What happened? Where’s Harry, where’s Ron?” Her voice cracked as she questioned her best friends’ whereabouts. They wrapped their arms around Hermione in a hug and spoke words that seemed so foreign to them, yet they knew they would have to get used to saying them. “Ron’s dead.” George cried into her neck, Fred cried into her chest. She began sobbing loudly and clung to Fred. She couldn’t believe that Ron was dead.

The other members quietly moved around them into the drawing room and Arthur broke the news to his wife. Molly cried out and fainted. Ginny, Bill and Charlie went into the kitchen to heal Charlie’s wounds. Hermione and the twins cried into each other for a long time before Remus arrived with Tonks. She had a fresh cast on her arm and a gash across the top of her chest. Remus looked worse for wear as well. His face was bruised on the right cheek, and Hermione could see burn marks on his wrist and arm.

“What happened to you?” The twins released her and went to their mother’s side.

“I had a nasty duel with Peter, and Tonks got caught in the crossfire.” Remus fell into the chair and Tonks began healing his burns. They were made from Peter’s silver hand, she was sure of it.

“You’ll need a potion to counteract the damage done by the silver.” Remus just nodded. “I am sure Severus has one.” Then it hit her like a ton of bricks. She was so upset over Ron that she hadn’t even noticed that Harry, Albus, and Severus were missing. “Where are they Remus?”

He knew whom she was referring to. He wanted to know the answer to that question himself. “I don’t know Hermione. Albus sealed off the alley and no one was able to get in. We saw the Dark Mark disappear from Lucius’ dead body and knew that Harry had been successful.”

Hermione regained some composure. She had to think clearly if she was going to apparate to Diagon Alley. “I need to go there. I have to see them.” Tonks grabbed her arm and pulled her back from the door.

“You can’t Hermione. The place is crawling with aurors and MLE. They will be here. Just wait.” Hermione wasn’t taking no for an answer. She had to get to them.

“Let go of me Tonks. I have to go.” Her voice roared throughout the house, and most everyone came to see what she was shouting about.

“Hermione, you can’t. Albus has sealed it off. No one else can get in.” Remus sounded weaker than he had, and Hermione realized that it must be the effects of the silver.

“I don’t give a damn! I’ve already learned of one friends death. I can’t bear to wait around and see if they’ll come home to me or not.” She sobbed loudly and everyone kept staring at her. They knew she was in pain. How could she not be?

She stormed off to the kitchen, prepared to leave through the rear door. All the while yelling at everyone to move out of her way. “I’ve got to go. I can’t wait her any longer. Harry needs me. Severus needs me. She barged through the kitchen door, only to be blocked by a very determined redhead. Get out of my way, Ginny.”

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~~


Severus regained his composure and rushed to Harry’s side. He placed his head in his lap and began chanting the healing charms to try and save him. As he looked into Harry’s eyes, he knew his attempts were in vain. Harry began to speak and his voice was very weak.

“Severus, he’s inside of me. Trying to get rol rol of me. I don’t know how long I can fight him.” Severus kept repeating the charms and trying to revive Harry. He thought that Harry was just delusional from the pain in his scar.

“No he’s not. Come on Potter fight this! It is over. You have won.” He waved his wand over Harry’s body, immediately healing any broken bones that he had. Severus didn’t know if it was the blood from his eye clouding his vision or the tears he was fighting so hard to hold back.

“Albus”, Harry spoke quietly. “We talked about this, you know?” Albus went to his side. He placed a ward on the street where no one could enter. He didn’t want anyone to see what was about to take place.

“Yes we did my boy. Yes we did.” Severus turned to him, a questioning look on his face. “Tom has once possessed Harry’s body before. Harry fought him with love, but it doesn’t seem to be working this time.” Harry just shook his head in agreement.

“I, I can see my mum and dad. They’re waving for me to come to them.” Severus felt the prickle of goose bumps upon his flesh. If he was seeing his dead parents, then it wouldn’t be long. But he still kept hope e.
e.

“You’re not going anywhere Potter. Tell them to wait another hundred years. Then you can go.”

Albus straightened out Harry’s legs and touched his thumb to his forehead. He could feel the evil trying to gain control of Harry. “You must do it,” he whispered. Severus knew what Harry was begging for and he couldn’t allow it. “I can’t stand the pain. You have to finally let me go Albus. Sirius is there too. I have to go with them.”

Severus couldn’t believe his ears. Harry was begging for Albus to take his life. “You can’t do it, Albus! There must be another way.” Severus’ voice roared throughout the ruined street.

“Yes you can.” Harry’s voice was even quieter and Severus had to strain to hear him. “You promised me.” Albus nodded and stood. Then, what happened next surprised them both.

“Go on you old fool. Kill the Golden Boy. Or do you love him too much to waste his miserable life?” It seemed that Harry had lost his internal battle. Voldemort’s cold, shrill voice rang out from within his body. Severus cringed as he heard him.

“Go away Tom!” Albus roared. “You took away his parents, I now can give them back to him. Yes, I admit, once before I gave you opportunity to escape. But this time, I shall not.” Albus turned toward Severus, his eyes flashing with fire.

“Heaven forgive me.” He wiped a single tear from his eye and shouted, “Avada Kedavra.” The curse hit Harry squarely in the chest, and as the cries of Lord Voldemort vanished, Severus saw Harry’s green eyes full of life for the last time. He mouthed a thank-you to Severus, and the Boy Who Lived breathed no more, yet died with a smile upon his precious face.

Severus bowed his head in defeat. His mind was racing with mixed emotions. He was thankful that it was completely, and without a doubt finally over. However, his heart was broken in two because Harry was now gone. He had sacrificed himself for the lives of everyone else. Severus knew he could never be as selfless and as compassionate as Harry had been. He was very proud that he had known him and despite all the turmoil he had to endure in his life, he never let it get him down. It was a humbling thought.

“Come on my boy. It is time to finish here and get everyone home.” Severus was reluctant to leave Harry’s side. He had so much he wanted to tell him. He had so much left to say.

“Just give me a moment, won’t you?” Albus nodded and began repairing the streets. Severus gently placed Harry’s head upon the street and placed his arms across his chest, his wand covering his heart.
Squatting down, Severus bent his head near Harry’s ear and began to speak. “I should be thanking you Harry. You have given me a chance at a better life. Thank you. Please watch over Hermione. I shall take excellent care of her. I am determined to give her everything her heart desires. That is if she will only let me. And I hope that when I die, I’ll be able to properly thank you. Good-bye.” Severus wiped his face on his sleeve and then rose.

“Alright Albus. I shall return to headquarters to inform everyone of what has happened. Will you be coming back there tonight?”

Albus shook his head. “Not tonight Severus. I have something I have to take care of, and it is long overdue.” Severus left the street and apparated to Grimmauld Place.

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~~

“I said move it Ginny!” Hermione’s eyes flashed in anger. All she wanted was to get the hell out of there and go to Harry and Severus’ side. Why couldn’t anyone just let her go?

The youngest Weasley girl had heard her coming and stepped into her way. “Hermione, you can’t. It’s still not safe. Not everyone was caught. Draco is still oherehere. And Flint.” She didn’t care. She could take both of them in her sleep.

“Let me by Virginia Weasley!” She was in a rage and no one could stop her. She shoved by Ginny, and turned around just as Bill cast stupefy upon her. She deflected it with barely a wave of her wand.

“Bill Weasley, iu sou so much as try that ever again…”

“Hermione.” It was barely audible, though it rang through her ears like a bass drum. She turned toward the door and saw Severus standing there, robes torn, blood coming out of his eye, his bottom lip busted.

“Severus!” She flung herself into his arms, not caring who saw her. Not caring what he or anyone else thought. Ginny and Bill made everyone leave the kitchen so that they could have some privacy.

Severus held onto her, thanking Merlin that she was safe and unharmed. He inhaled her scent, and felt her breath against his neck. She smelled so clean, so innocent, so untouched. This was the closest they had ever been and he loved it. Her hair was soft and sleek, her skin like velvet. He tried to kiss the top of her head, but his swollen lip permitted him from doing so.

“I was so worried about you. Are you badly hurt?” She tried to release him and inspect his wounds more closely, but he wouldn’t let her go.

“I am fine. They are merely scratches.” He held her tighter, trying to figure out exactly how he was going to tell her that Harry had died. “Hermione, I…”

She interrupted him before he could say another word. “All I ask that if this has ended as badly as I think it has, please don’t leave me alone tonight.” He held her closer for one more moment then stole some of her Gryffindor courage.

“Hermione, Harry is gone.” The words were spoken so quietly that no one other than they could have heard them. She started with a little sniffling, then as the reality hit her, she fell he ghe ground, still clutching to Severus. He cradled her in his lap, his hand smoothing up and down her back.

Her cries turned into shrieks and Remus entered the kitchen to get confirmation from Severus that Harry was indeed gone. As Severus saw the door open, he merely nodded to R, wh, who bowed his head and began to shed his own tears. He closed the door, and made his way into the drawing room where the remaining members of the Order were waiting.

As he broke the news to them, Severus tried to get Hermione to calm down. He himself hadn’t known of Ron’s demise and was saddened as Hermione sobbed that he had died too. “You’re all I have left.” She didn’t realize that she had said that out loud, but when Severus stiffened, she knew she had.

She tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her. “Hermione, you just surprised me. That’s all.” He looked into her red, swollen eyes and tried to calm her down once more. “Look at me. We have to go out there and confront everyone. I am sure they all have questions. However, they’ll have to wait until Albus can answer them. I am merely being a messenger and then I am going home.”

He stood up and helped her stand beside him. “You’re going to Hogwarts? But I thought that you said I could stay with you?”

“Hermione, Hogwarts isn’t my only home. You can come with me. I promised you. Just give me a few moments to talk to Remus and Moody. Then we’ll be off.”

Hermione followed Severus into the drawing room, and she suspected that her face looked much like everyone’s in there. Molly was conscious now resting comfortably on the sofa. Most of the men were indulging in the liquor, and Ginny and Tonks didn’t mind helping themselves as well. Although they had won the war, it had come at a high price. They were drinking to remember the ones that died, not in celebration.

Severus spoke to Remus privately for a few moments, then Moody. He didn’t dare tell them exactly what happened, but they knew where Harry’s remains were and that they were being well taken care of. Hermione gripped Severus’ hand tightly as they entered the floo and traveled into his home. No one questioned her leaving with him. They all had to grieve, and to each his own.


***********Quick Author’s Note***********

This was the hardest chapter I’ve ever had to write. Thought the firart art was bad. I literally cried more than once, and as I reread it to make one final edit, I cried the entire chapter. Thanks to everyone that has been supporting me so far. It’s really great to read all your positive comments.

The next chapter, “Could I Just Be You” should be out by Tuesday evening. Providing that school and real life do not get in the way… It is finished, I just need to make a few minor adjustments. Thanks again for you support….