Cherries

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Story: Cherries
Author: bubblybabs
Email: bubbalilly@gmail.com
Beta: Periculum
Story Consultants: WesleyY7, Sonia
Total Word Count: 15,239
Chapter 37 Edit Date: 10/13/2009
At the time of chapter upload
Hit count: 26,374
Review count: 185
Average/total vote: +++++ / 223
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Chapter 37: Centered Around The Cherry

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Christina H – We've got a little ways to go, hon... I have been, however, condensing chapters from my outline to make this story shorter... I just hope to keep everyone's attention til the end...
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Christopher – You're a man, right? Cool that a guy is reading this story... I don't know about anyone else, but I don't want to be a sex slave... If there isn't any love, cuddling, and mutual respect then I don't want the relationship... Would be like Elizabeth Short during her 9 months of captivity, only forever... shudder... But anyway, how close am I to portraying the male point of view? Perhaps you could help me with that...
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elphaba – I am relieved to hear the chapter wasn't too confusing... I really worried about that...
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mrsfloyd – Yes, keeping my hints subtle so it's all a big surprise was difficult – especially with my being a big mouth in the commentary area!
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WesleyY7 – I think that in canon the elves couldn't do that, could they? Take people in and out of Hogwarts? I'm not sure. Dobby didn't do that with anyone even though he popped them out of the dungeon in Malfoy Manor – he had to take them inside of Hogwarts via a tunnel through Aberforth's portrait of his sister. If they could do that, it would have been a huge plot hole because the DE's wouldn't have needed the vanishing cabinet. But, of course, this is fanfiction, so I can do anything with my story. *smile* As to the twins, I know that twins in real life find the twincest thing really, really, really irritating, but... I dunno, we'll see what happens... I didn't go into detail with them because it kind of creeps me out as well... *giggles* on the Bella/Regulus thing... In 'real canon life', who knows with her? He was young, cute, a new recruit... Ya never know...
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Lilalandra – Hello! Thank you for your review! I feared that chapter would be considered boring due to all the information given... Same with this one... But, the information must come out so all makes sense... Ha! On the 'men never grow up' comment! That was a good one! On the DD revelation part – yes, I thought it would put the story in touch with canon a little more, even if the canon part is hidden in a post-Harry Potter interview...
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FYI: I have the next 3 chapters nearly done. Therefore, updating the story won't take so long for the next few weeks...

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Story date: May 15, 1996 (6:15am)

“Albus.”

“Poppy, as always,” Albus started, rising from his seat as he rounded his desk and briskly walked towards the mediwitch, right hand extended, “it's nice to see you”. He touched her forearm, gesturing with his free hand for her to enter his dimly lit office, his magnificent gray-lavender robes swirling around his ankles as he turned.

“Yes, Albus, yes.” Obviously distressed, she walked towards his large, ornate desk while fidgeting with a piece of ribbon hanging from her uniform; the impeccable, starched, white apron in sharp contrast to the burgundy under-dress she wore. “I'm afraid I am not here on a social call, as it were.”

Nodding absently, Albus sighed as he sat gracefully in the sumptuous chair situated behind his desk while motioning for Poppy to sit in the large, wing-backed chair usually occupied by Severus. “No, I didn't think you were. It is unusual for me to see you in my office, unless there is a situation.” Smiling wearily, his face crinkling into numerous wrinkles, he gave her a slight nod as he crossed his legs and made himself comfortable. “Normally, you call me down to the infirmary.”

“Yes, Albus, there is a situation. Actually, it's more of a problem, really.” She became still for a moment as she looked at the headmaster expectantly, her voice barely above a whisper. “I have some bad news about Miss Granger.”

A loud snapping noise from the fireplace caused both to turn and look at the flames intently as bright orange and yellow sparks flew up the flue. A log collapsed in upon itself as more glowing embers swirled about before the fire settled and became quiet again, pale gray smoke curling around the hearth and filtering into the room.

Albus cocked one eyebrow as he turned his attention back to Poppy. “Oh? You have some bad news? In what regard, Poppy?”

“I examined her last evening, just as you asked me to.” Poppy began to fidget again. “Which I would have done anyway, since I also needed to examine her before administering the contraceptive potion you requested I give her.”

Albus leaned to his left slightly, absently stroking his beard and looking up at the ceiling as he listened. “And?”

“It is most distressing indeed, Albus.” Poppy shook her head slightly, looking down at her hands. “I've been poring over my books, trying to figure out what may have happened, since I last examined her.” She paused for barely a heartbeat before explaining what was bothering her so. “The poor girl has been made barren.” Poppy looked up. “Albus, Miss Granger can't have any more children.”

Obviously surprised, Albus sat forward abruptly, palms hitting the desk with a slap, his brow furrowed. “Barren? How?”

“When I wand-examined her, I found extensive scarring within her womb.” Poppy shook her head slowly as she spoke. “There may be a few patches of viable tissue on her uterine lining, but certainly not enough for her to carry a child to term. The scars are still in the maturing stage so I know they aren't very old.” Poppy paused a moment, thinking, then sighed deeply as she spoke. “I, at first, thought that perhaps someone had held her down and instilled something caustic into her uterus, but she vehemently denied this being done to her.”

Albus pursed his lips and sat back, fingers steepled, his eyes never leaving the distressed woman before him.

“I questioned her about any potions she had been given while held captive, and she reported a potion that caused an agonizing searing pain in her abdomen immediately after she ingested it.” Poppy, her hand unconsciously coming up to cover her lower abdomen, lightly bit her lower lip for a second before continuing. “She said she was given this potion not long ago, but wouldn't state who gave it to her.”

Albus nodded sadly. He turned to look at Fawkes as the Phoenix spread its magnificent red-feathered wings and sang a few lovely, though gloomy, notes. Albus nodded at the bird, as if understanding what it was trying to tell him.

Her eyes on the bird, heart lifted after hearing the musical notes it emitted, Poppy continued telling Albus the tale of woe she had discovered. “From the description of the potion she gave me, it sounds as if it was the Extrutero Incendia potion.” Reluctantly turning her eyes away from Fawkes, Poppy looked at Albus intently as she leaned forward, shaking her head in disbelief. “But surely not, Albus! The pain it causes is excruciating, almost unbearable, and that's the very reason it was abandoned by Healers. It works wonders as a permanent contraceptive, but the pain caused by the potion was far too much for some women to bear. Women have actually died after being given this potion, Albus. Their hearts just slowed to a stop. It is actually against wizarding law to brew it, never mind administer it.”

“Women have died after ingesting this potion?” Surprise in his voice, Albus tried to figure out why Miss Granger would be given such a dangerous potion if she was so important to the other side. Albus knew of other contraceptives that were permanent and there was no risk to the recipient when ingested. Other than the pain it caused, what could possibly justify her being given this particular illegal potion?

“Yes, from a Muggle term known as neurocardiogenic or vasovagal syncope – something rarely seen within the wizarding community but fairly common in the Muggle world,” Poppy explained. “However, the often benign form of this condition can become lethal with the use of this potion. The condition is referred to as RNS which stands for Refractory Neurocardiogenic Syncope.”

“Neurocardiogenic? I don't understand, please explain.”

“Usually, once a person has an episode of this type of syncope – or fainting – the person will recover as their blood pressure and heart rate increases back to normal. However, as an effect of the severe and ongoing pain caused by this potion, the patient's blood pressure continues to drop and the heart rate to slow, a medical term called bradycardia.” She paused, allowing Albus to take this information in, before she began again. “The bradycardia progresses to full asystole – or the heart stops - due to the constant triggering of the central nervous system by the oppressive pain. It's a highly unusual response because normally, once a person faints, the brain seems to stop responding to the pain stimulus. However, this potion allows the pain to continually trigger the neural pathways while the person is unconscious. Some women remained unconscious for extended periods of time, while others died.” Poppy sat forward in her seat. “Thankfully, Miss Granger did not succumb to it, but she very well could have.”

Albus sighed deeply, his eyes turning to the fire as a few clouds of burning tinder exploded out of the logs as they fell. “Is Miss Granger aware of your findings?”

“No, no, I thought I'd discuss it with you before I said anything to her. The girl will be absolutely devastated, I'm sure.” Poppy scrutinized the Headmaster a moment. “Albus, I find it most disturbing that you don't sound the least bit surprised when I state she may have been given the Extrutero Incendia potion. Were you aware of it already?”

“Initially, Poppy, I was surprised to hear of the young lady being made barren. But, upon further thought, and because I know who Miss Granger was with, I am not completely surprised at hearing she was given such a potion, though I know the person in question had no intention of killing her.”

Albus slowly sat back in his chair, his eyes intent upon Fawkes, as he contemplated his next question. “Poppy, is there any possibility she was given something else to keep her from succumbing to the potion?”

The mediwitch slowly shook her head. “I've never heard of anything that would counter the body's response to the pain caused by the potion. Healers and Potion Masters alike worked for many years to develop such a potion, but to no avail. That was when it was decided to make the potion illegal.”

“I see, I see.” Albus took a deep breath and exhaled slowly through pursed lips before taking in another. “Is Miss Granger healthy otherwise?”

Poppy's shoulder drooped slightly and she shook her head. “She's had several fractures and deep contusions, scarring that continues to mature, and her body is still recovering from childbirth.”

“Fractures?” Albus closed his eyes a moment as Fawkes sang a short song. 'I really must allow my dear Fawkes to sing to Miss Granger.'

Poppy's fatigue seemed to lift slightly and she sat up straighter. “Yes, several ribs, her collarbone, and a few fingers. Also, her coccyx bone.”

“Have they been healed or were they allowed to mend naturally?”

“Healed using Skele-gro. Luckily, they all healed well enough, and I didn't have to reset any. The bruising to her internal organs, especially her liver, must have been excruciatingly painful. I gave a few potions that will help her body more effectively absorb and break down the blood that remains clotted within her tissues.”

“She was bruised internally?” 'Why does that not surprise me? Deep bruising, fractures, terrorized, made barren. How has the child remained sane?'

“Yes, she was. Deeply.” Poppy hesitated a moment before stating quietly, “I know I don't normally ask for explanations from you when a student is injured, Albus, because I trust your judgment implicitly and know that if you keep something like this to yourself, there is good reason for it. However, please forgive my curiosity in this case.” Poppy, a great sadness unexpectedly washing over her, twisted her neck slightly and looked at the merrily dancing fire for a moment, watching the sparks and pale gray smoke dance about before being consumed by the flue. She didn't want to ask, didn't really want to know, yet she felt an unusual desire for the truth force her to ask her next question. She turned back and looked at Albus levelly as she steeled herself for the answer she knew she would receive. “Miss Granger was tortured, wasn't she?”

Albus nodded slowly. “Yes, Poppy, she was. Miss Granger has endured a great deal this past year.”

“That would explain the faint scars on her back then. They look like they were made by a whip.” She watched Albus' eyes open wide, his brows raising before he masked his surprise by lowering his head slightly and looking down at his hands. “I never would have noticed them had I not wand examined her.” She barely whispered the rest. “The marks criss-cross all around her torso and down her thighs. They are imperceptible to the naked eye...” She took in a deep breath as she collected herself, then forced herself to continue. “So she had to have been healed not long after each episode of, of, of...” Poppy's breath caught as she attempted to finish her sentence. She looked down at her apron, studying the weave, as she fought to keep her tears from overflowing.

They sat in quietly for a few minutes, the crackling and occasional hiss from the fire breaking the silence on occasion. Thoughtfully, Poppy raised her hand to her mouth and toyed with her lower lip. “Perhaps Minerva should be told about this development? Perhaps she'll be able to help Miss Granger when she is told she can't have more children. Minerva and her mother?”

“Yes, Minerva will be told. I have an appointment with her, and she will be arriving shortly.” Albus repositioned himself in his chair, the movement of his robes sounding like a soft sigh. “Tell me, Poppy, the bruising of Miss Granger's internal organs, it has been healing satisfactorily?”

“Yes, as well as could be expected. It's obvious she was given something to help her - she stated paste was applied, and she was given several unknown potions that she thought were being given to heal her. I truly hope that those potions were indeed what she needed, but there's no way of knowing so, as I said a moment ago, I also gave her several potions that I know will significantly speed the healing process.”

“Good, good, I'm most pleased to hear that. She'll feel much better now that you are caring for her, I'm sure. Did you find anything else amiss when you examined her?”

“Well,” Poppy sat forward again as she spoke slowly, thoughtfully, “there's something not quite right with her chemical make-up. Her body fluids seem... off. Initially, I was worried about her breast milk since she is feeding the baby, but it seems all right. I mean, it'll continue to nourish the baby just fine, but... I don't know, there's something different with her milk, but I can't put my finger on what's wrong with it.”

Albus remembered the smile Kreacher gave him when he was questioning him about Hermione's breast milk and shuddered. Was this important? “I don't understand.”

“I can't explain it. I wand-examined her and discovered the fractures, bruising, and scarring. But, there's just something different about her that I can't identify. I've never seen anything like it. I spent time looking through the books I keep in my library, but was unable to find anything to describe what I've detected.”

“I see. Could the difference be due to a curse or potion that has changed her in some way?”

“Well, I don't know about any curses since I'm not trained to identify them, but it's definitely a possibility. I'm more familiar with potions, which was my first thought, especially since she was most likely forced to ingest the Extrutero Incendia. The problem is that I can't seem to identify what it could be.”

“I have Severus working on it, Poppy. Even he is having difficulty identifying the potions used upon Miss Granger. Since she was given something as scarce as the Extrutero Incendia, I'm sure she has received other potions just as rare and equally difficult to identify. I'm confident, however, that he will be able to determine what they are and make the appropriate antidotes.”

“Oh, good. I'm relieved to hear Severus is helping with this. However, it's very possible some of the potions have no antidote. You are aware of that, aren't you?”

“Yes, Poppy, I am aware. However, there's nothing stopping us from hoping.”

“True, Albus. That's so very true.”

“This Extrutero Incendia potion, I take it that it was no longer part of the brewing curriculum where you learned to be a mediwitch?”

“Oh, my, no.” Poppy brought her hand up, laying it flat on her chest as she shook her head. “It hasn't been used by Healers for several hundred years. I only remembered it because I've been rereading my 'Healer History: Learn From the Past' book. Most fortunate that I did, I must say.”

“Yes, an interesting coincidence, to be sure. That seems to happen a great deal in the movies, does it not?”

“Movies? I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, Albus.”

“Oh, just something Muggles do for entertainment. Moving pictures shown in a theater? You have heard of them, have you not?”

Poppy scrunched her face up in concentration. “Perhaps.” She smiled at him and slapped her hands on her knees before rubbing them along her thighs. “You and your Muggle studies, Albus. I don't understand your fascination with them.”

“My dear Poppy, did you not just tell me about a Muggle term for a medical condition? The Muggles know of things we do not, and it is in our best interest that we do make an effort to glean knowledge from them when we can. Don't you think so?”

“Yes, yes, I suppose so. They do seem to make more of an effort to learn about what happens to their bodies during an illness than we do, I must say. That is why we have Muggleborn Healers working in Muggle hospitals as nurses and physicians, so we may learn of these things and make potions accordingly. Of course, the knowledge of potions the Muggles have is abysmal, though I suppose that is to be expected since it is against Wizarding law to introduce them to anything magical.” Poppy leaned forward and spoke softly, almost in a whisper. “Even the simple first year potion that Severus teaches his students, the boil cure potion, is beyond their capabilities.”

Albus smiled. “I would imagine that, due to their having no magic within them, the potion ingredients turn to mush instead of molecularly separating and recombining as they would for our students. I understand that Muggles are unable to separate the proteins within the white of an egg once it has solidified, something our first years are able to do within a month of coming here. I find that very interesting, do you not?”

“Oh, a passing interest, nothing more.” She huffed impatiently. “I mean, for goodness sake, Albus, they can't put mandrake leaves into a cauldron of boiling water with salt and vinegar without making a slimy mess! I suppose, in a way, I find it more amusing than anything.”

“Yes, I'm sure most of our people would.” Albus sighed. “Is there anything else I should know about Miss Granger, Poppy?”

The Matron in charge of the hospital wing shook her head thoughtfully. “No, no, I guess not. Other than what I've told you, there's nothing else. In a few days, she'll be as good as new.”

“Now that, my dear Poppy, I am truly pleased to hear.”

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Story time: 8am sharp

“Albus, you wished to see me?”

“Yes, Minerva, I did. On time as always, my dear.” Albus' step was merry as he ushered her into his office, he and his deputy walking side-by-side as they neared his desk. “I have some very good news for you.”

“Oh, really?” Suspicious of his unusually good mood, she watched as he moved around his desk, her lips pursed in a thin line. “And what would be so good as to cause such a twinkle in your eye, Albus?”

“Ah, you will be most surprised, I am sure.” Albus paused for effect, smiling as he watched Minerva bristle impatiently. “Your Miss Granger has been found.”

Minerva stepped back and put a shaky hand to her chest, a look of disbelief flitting across her face before she composed herself. “Bless me, Albus! You should give a person fair warning before imparting news such as that!” She conjured up a paper fan and set it to fanning her briskly. “Miss Granger has been found? When? Where? Is she all right?”

Albus gestured for her to sit in the chair Poppy had occupied not long before and eased himself into his own. Due to the sun now being mid-way up in the sky, the room was brighter than before, dust motes dancing about in the small shafts of light afforded by the parted, heavily embroidered drapes.

Initially, he grinned as he spoke, his smile slowly changing to a slight frown by the time he finished speaking. “She was found a few days ago. And yes, she is...” Albus cocked his head back and forth, “all right, for the most part, though we won't know the full extent of the damage done to her for some time, I'm afraid.”

“How so, Albus?” Minerva grabbed the arm rests of the chair and pulled herself up slightly as she spoke. “What do you mean?” She leaned forward a fraction, her voice becoming higher pitched with each word uttered. “What damage?”

“Minerva.” Albus looked at Fawkes as if trying to gather the strength to continue. Fawkes fluttered his wings and sang a note, pausing for a heart beat as if listening for an echo before emitting another heart-warming note into the slightly chilled air of the room. “She was in the presence of Death Eaters.”

Minerva brought a hand to her mouth, her smile replaced by a look of horror. “Oh no, Albus, no. How?”

“I trust you are aware this information is just between you and I?” Albus watched with amusement as Minerva nodded curtly, her face twisted in irritation that he even felt the gall to ask such a question.

“Of course, Albus.” She stood slightly in order to rearrange her dark green skirts before primly lowering herself down again. “Have I not kept all your secrets for years?”

“Yes, my dear, you have. I apologize, I just felt a sudden need to watch you have your feathers ruffled with indignation. Always an amusing sight, if I do say so myself.”

“Albus, this is serious, and you're playing games?”

Looking properly admonished, Albus shifted in his seat as he pulled his robes about him. “You are quite right. What was I thinking?” They looked at each other, their eyes meeting as the edges of their lips curled slightly in a way only old friends will do when a harmless joke has been played upon the other.

“Well, I suppose things did seem to become a little too serious.” Minerva gave her old friend a very slight nod, her hand coming up to tuck a non-existent errant strand of hair away. “But then again, I suppose they are.”

“Yes, indeed. They are.”

Both became lost in thought for a few moments, each reflecting upon how life was changing for the citizens of the wizarding world beyond the walls of Hogwarts. It only took a few seconds for each to remember the changes that were occurring within Hogwarts as well, Minerva's eyes narrowing as she thought of a certain lady in pink who was nothing more than a giant thorn in her side.

“I take it Delores is unaware of Miss Granger being found?”

His face hardening, Albus shook his head. “She is unaware of her presence within the confines of this castle, no.”

Minerva gave a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness for that. Tell me, Albus, if Miss Granger was found a few days ago, why am I only learning about it now? Who else knows of this besides yourself?”

“A few people are aware of some of the details, though only Severus is aware of all I am about to tell you.”

“I see.” She sat back, pulling on her dark green robes as she crossed one leg over the other. “Who else knows, Albus? Other than Severus?”

“Remus, Alastor, Kingsley, Poppy, and Miss Granger's parents.”

“A few people? That's more than a mere 'few', Albus.” Minerva sniffed. “Why does it seem I am the last to know when I feel I should have been one of the first? For goodness sakes, her parents knew before me?”

Albus smiled as Minerva's feathers became even more ruffled than before. “They had to be notified for their own protection. Come now, Minerva, no frowning. Let me explain from the beginning so you may understand. It will take a while, and I specifically made such an early appointment with you so we would not be disturbed.”

“I see. So, this isn't a simple case of a student somehow falling into the hands of Death Eaters, is it?”

Albus' face darkened. “When is something like that ever simple?”

“Never, I'm afraid. However, I thought perhaps Miss Granger was in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Minerva turned her head slightly so she was looking at Albus from the corners of her narrowed eyes. “I get the feeling this isn't so, is it, Albus?”

Remaining silent, Albus shook his head gravely as he dropped his eyes to his hands.

“Oh, my. The darkness and brutality is growing, isn't it? Ohhhh, I fear the day I find out one of our students has been murdered by that lot. Cedric was bad enough, but at least he wasn't tormented before he died. Not that that alleviated the grieving of his parents, but at least we can be thankful for that.” She sat forward in her chair again, the sadness in her eyes unmistakable. “Remember the things 'You-Know-Who's' supporters did to their victims in the last war, Albus?” Albus nodded while thinking 'As if I could ever forget'. “It was terrible, just terrible.”

“It was, yes.”

Minerva spoke quietly, almost as speaking from a dream. “All those poor people.” Shaking her head sharply, she looked at Albus intently. “It feels as if history is repeating itself. Their terrorizing is becoming more open and targeted. The cloud of fear is starting to envelope the community even though the Ministry continues to deny the claims made by Mr. Potter and yourself.”

“Again, Minerva, I'm afraid you are right about that.”

“Soon, Fudge and the Ministry won't be able to deny that you are correct. They will have to validate Mr. Potter's claims. I rue the day that happens.”

“I almost wish I could be proven wrong, Minerva. So much suffering could be avoided if I were.”

“Well, you aren't.” Her back straightened with indignation. “And those buffoons at the Ministry will rue the day they called you a liar.”

Remaining quietly thoughtful, Albus inclined his head slightly, silently agreeing with her. 'So many people will be sorry because, instead of preparing themselves for the war that is soon to come, they are desperately grasping at the false sense of security set by the Ministry.'

The logs in the fireplace crumbled violently as sparks and ash whirled about, a few landing on the gray stone beyond the gargoyle grate, flaring briefly before quickly dying away.

“So, Albus, tell me about our Miss Granger.” She shook a finger at him. “And don't you dare leave anything out to spare my feelings. I am a grown woman, Albus.” Minerva settled back in the chair, preparing herself for Albus to explain to her what happened to her student and why so many people were aware of it already. “So, tell me, what exactly happened to her?”

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Story date: May 18, 1996 11:06am

A quiet knock sounded. Twisting to look at the door over her shoulder, Hermione quickly climbed off of Remus' lap. He stood and paused, waiting a moment until he was sure she was presentable before walking over to answer the door, his thoughts in turmoil. Wasn't it just their luck that they'd be disturbed not long after Persimmonie finally quieted and took a nap? Carefully opening the door, he leaned forward and glanced out before bowing slightly and murmuring a greeting, then stood back as their guest entered.

“Hello, Miss Granger.” Albus nodded at Hermione, then glanced at Remus. “Remus.”

Having just finished sitting down, Hermione stood again as she smoothed down her hair, very conscious of the fact that Remus' fingers running through it just moments before must have made it look a fright. The headmaster, as usual, seemed imposing at first glance. His tall stature; heavy, ornate robes; long, white beard; and formal approach made her feel as if he were a regal king from centuries ago coming back to life. All of this contrasted sharply with his twinkling eyes, soft voice, and tendency to unexpectedly tell a joke – all making him seem friendly and approachable. 'Harry always said Professor Dumbledore was kind and easy to get along with, but he still seems so... formal. So... I don't know, too majestic for the likes of me.' Even though Remus was obviously very comfortable around the headmaster, she still felt the need to remain on guard and very respectful when around him.

“Good morning, Professor Dumbledore.” She bowed slightly to the headmaster, then smiled hesitantly as she glanced at Remus, not sure what this visit meant.

“Albus.” Remus nodded back at the headmaster as he closed the door before turning to follow him into the room. He stepped around Albus and walked up to Hermione, silently grabbing her hand and guiding her to the table. As she stood uncertainly, he pulled out a chair, indicating she should sit before taking a seat next to her.

Albus came around the table and gracefully lowered himself into a chair opposite them. He studied the pair for a few moments, noting how comfortable they were with each other. His eyes turned to Hermione as he addressed her.

“I take it your parents are out with Alastor and Kingsley again, Miss Granger?”

Hermione nodded slightly. “Yes, sir. They said they had to get some more paperwork in order for the house and the practice. They also had a few appointments with patients they couldn't break so they are taking care of them today.” She leaned forward, worry on her face. “Sir? Do you think they'll be safe? I thought they were at Hogwarts to protect them from the Death Eaters who, um, who had me.”

“They are with Alastor and Kingsley; I assure you they are very safe. If we could provide full-time protection, your parents wouldn't have to go into hiding, but that is beyond my ability to arrange.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you, sir. I was just worried.”

“Your worry is most understandable, my dear.” He watched as she chewed her lower lip, her eyes downcast. “You wish to ask another question, Miss Granger?”

Large brown eyes looked up at him and he suddenly felt as if a frightened deer were before him. He watched as she struggled to speak, her voice faltering as she fought to get the words out.

“I, uh, I was wondering about... Adara.” She rubbed her eyes before continuing in a rush. “My parents said that, they said that, um, that they would need a birth and death certificate for her to, uh, in order for them to be able to get her buried in our church cemetery. And, um, well, I don't know what to do. I mean, Madam Pomfrey lets me visit her every day, but she said she can't keep her, um... her body in, she called it stasis, she can't keep her body in stasis forever. She said, uh, Madam Pomfrey said she needs to be buried soon.”

“I see. Yes, I can see her not being born in a Muggle hospital as being a problem since there is no record of her birth, and, of course, none of her death. It would seem suspicious.”

Hermione nodded as Albus spoke, relieved he understood without her having to go into detail. Her parents had planned to speak to him tonight about the problem, but she couldn't make herself wait. She wanted to take care of her baby's needs, she wanted some control over her baby's body.

“Well, Miss Granger, we could have her buried here on Hogwarts grounds.” Albus remembered Sirius' request and decided to honor it. “We do have a small cemetery.”

Hermione perked up, a smile on her face. “That would be all right?” Albus nodded. “Oh, that would be wonderful!” She turned to look at Remus who smiled back. “Hogwarts would be a nice place to have her buried. I'd be able to visit her and everything while here.”

“Yes, that would be an advantage to having her buried here.”

“Can we do it tonight, Sir?”

Albus cocked a brow. “So soon?”

“I feel the need to have her buried soon, sir. I don't know why, I just feel like we need to get it taken care of straight away. Sir.”

“Of course, if that is what you want. I'll get preparations under way when I leave.” Albus' eyes flitted between Remus and Hermione. “I am sure that you realize we will be outside, Miss Granger? For the burial? I don't need to worry about you panicking while out of doors?”

Hermione's shoulders drooped. “Oh, I, I,” she cleared her throat, “I hadn't thought of that.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“No, I didn't think you had.” Albus looked around before giving Hermione a kindly smile. “I take it you are feeling better about being in this room, Miss Granger?”

Appearing confused at the sudden change of topic, Hermione's eyes flitted about the room before she replied. “Um, yes. Sir, it's fine.”

“I ask because Professor Snape mentioned that you complained of the room being so small.”

Hermione blushed and began tugging on her hair, twirling some strands between her fingers. “Oh, that. I, uh, the room size isn't a problem, Sir. Honestly. I just, at the time, I was just so upset and all. I...” her voice trailed off uncomfortably.

“That's all right, my dear. I just wondered. However, I have taken note how uncomfortable you are in the larger rooms we have here at Hogwarts. The infirmary isn't the largest room this school has, now is it? And we must work on making it so that you can traverse the halls of Hogwarts without difficulty, mustn't we?”

He watched as Hermione hesitantly nodded her head. “Miss Granger, much as you may wish to, you cannot stay in this room forever, now can you?” Again, he waited for her to acknowledge his words. “Therefore, I shall enlarge this room each day so you may accustom yourself to being in large rooms once again. I have also asked Remus to take you outside, using this Portkey, daily.” He pulled out an old rusted skeleton key and laid it on the table. “I believe the fresh air will do both you and Persimmonie some good, don't you?”

Concerned, Albus watched as Hermione's eyes opened wide when he spoke of Remus taking her outside.

Remus pulled her hand from her hair and lowered it down onto the table. He kept his hand over hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Hermione, you'll be with me on Hogwarts grounds, and you'll be perfectly safe. And, with Adara buried here, we'll be able to visit her grave each day.” He held up a hand when she went to object. “Albus and I discussed this and we agree that you must get used to being in larger spaces.” He grabbed her hand again and gave it a squeeze. “Next, we'll be working on your being in a room full of people.” Hermione sucked in a deep breath, the color draining from her face as her eyes darted back and forth between the two men.

Remus let go of her hand and reached up so he could pull a few strands of hair away from her face. Gently, he ran his hand through her hair, curling them briefly around her ear before going along the side of her head and tracing his thumb along her jawline, finally using a finger under her chin to tilt her head back so he could see her face. “Hermione, think about it, hon, these things never bothered you before and you've got to get used to them again. Slow down your breathing, hon, you're starting to hyperventilate again.”

Albus considered Hermione critically as she began to panic at the mere thought of being in a room full of people. 'She was gone for a year. Only one year. Why panic at these things? These were situations she faced on a daily basis before Sirius took her. But,' he reasoned, 'she did spend most of her time in a room, rarely getting visitors. When she did leave the prison made for her, she was forced to perform for a room full of people while under Bella's control - perhaps that is where her fear stems from.' He nodded to himself. Understandable, I suppose.'

He watched as Remus coddled her, wondering if the man was going to be, on the whole, a help or a hindrance. 'He's pampering her too much, just as I feared. But, at least I know he's got her best interests at heart and he'll make her do what needs to be done, even if he does baby her in the process.' He shook his head slightly, pursing his lips. 'I've allowed her to become too attached to him, knowing I should not. Well, no, that's not exactly true. When rescued, she already had a strong attachment to him, and it may have caused her harm to keep him away. I certainly feared it would distress him far too much, otherwise I would not have allowed him to go to her the night of her rescue.

I just wish I could be certain that what I am doing is the correct course of action. Time is running out and she must become acclimated to being in Hogwarts with hundreds of students, or she won't be able to return.' Albus took in a deep breath and shook his head. 'That would be such a waste of a brilliant mind. Such a waste.'

“Miss Granger, I implore you to make an effort to familiarize yourself with Hogwarts again so that you may return. I cannot allow you to come back if you continually have panic attacks when out in public. I am sure that, with Remus' help, you will make steady progress and will be able to deal with things as you did before. Do you understand?”

Her throat dry, Hermione's lower lip trembled as she squeezed Remus' hand and struggled to swallow at the implied threat. “Y-yes, sir. Yes. I'll try, I will.”

Albus smiled encouragingly. “Good, that is good. You are a strong person, Miss Granger, and I know you'll pull upon your emotional reserves to get yourself through this. Please remember, you had no difficulty with these things before, and you will be able to deal with them again. Will power, Miss Granger, will power.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

Smiling kindly, Albus sat up straight and rubbed his hands on his thighs. “I fear I must leave you for now as I am needed elsewhere at this time. Enjoy your time outside, Miss Granger. It is a lovely day out, if I do say so myself.” He looked at Remus. “She will need to go out this afternoon so she may prepare herself for the burial this evening.”

Nodding silently, Remus began to stand up so he could follow Albus to the door. Albus waved him down. “I can see myself out.”

Muttering under his breath and flicking his wand at the four corners of the room while waving it above his head as he stood, the room seemed to stretch in all directions - the furniture following the walls as if glued to them - giving a dizzying and eerie 3D effect to its occupants. Hermione felt woozy for a moment, causing her to grab at the table in an attempt to keep from falling over, as the room seemed to move while her body, knowing it was still, struggled to deal with what it was seeing. 'It's almost like being on a train that is taking on passengers and another train passes by – I know the train isn't moving but my mind tells me it is.'

Albus walked to the door, then stopped and turned around slightly. “Another thing Miss Granger. I will be back early in the morning with Bill Weasley.”

Hermione suddenly felt icy, briefly losing all of her color as she glanced at Remus before quickly looking down at her hands, her cheeks burning with a blush.

“We will have a talk about what occurred between the two of you. Bill had planned to come back the day after he removed the curses from your person, but he needed the assistance of another curse-breaker who was, most regrettably, unable to come at that time.” He waited a brief moment before continuing. “Let me remind you that you still have an unknown curse upon you and he, along with the person he is bringing with him, plan to try and remove it from you.”

“Oh, um, I'm fine, Professor Dumbledore.” She shook her head back and forth. “I don't need to see Bill. I'm fine. Sir. I am.”

Albus shook his head slowly. “Miss Granger, this curse must be removed. I cannot allow you near certain people until I either know what this curse is or it is removed from you.”

Wringing her hands, Hermione sounded desperate as she tried to convince the headmaster he was wrong. “But, Professor Dumbledore, I'm fine! Really I am! I don't need to see him, really, I don't!”

Secretly, Remus was pleased to see Hermione distressed at the thought of seeing Bill again even though, at the same time, he truly didn't want her to be so upset. “Hermione, calm down. I'll be here the whole time Bill is with you, okay?”

“But, I'm fine, Remus! I don't...”

“Hermione, stop.” Remus gave Hermione an unwavering stare, his stern voice telling her he was serious. “We'll talk about this after the headmaster leaves.”

Albus nodded approvingly at Remus. “I will return early in the morning, Miss Granger. And we shall proceed from there. Please, have yourself ready by six o'clock sharp.”

Hermione nodded miserably, her shoulders slumping as she let out a sigh.

“Remus, I believe it would be best if Miss Granger's parents and her child were in the room we discussed last night. It has been completed.”

Remus nodded. “Understood, Albus.”

Head down, Hermione stared at Remus a moment before glancing up and watching Albus leave the room through her fringe of hair. Once the door clicked shut behind the wizard, she turned her attention back to Remus.

“Remus! I don't want to see Bill!” Tears slid down her face. “I'm so embarrassed! Please, Remus! I was so, I mean, I acted like, I mean...”

“Shhh, shhh, shhh. Remember Persimmonie is asleep, hon.”

Bringing her hands up to her mouth, Hermione silenced immediately.

“Hermione, we know what happened, okay? And we know why it happened. Those curses were removed from you, so now you don't have to worry that you'll relentlessly go after others like you did with him. It's all in the past now.” Remus looked down at his hands, frowning. “Bill is just as upset as you, Hermione, about the incident. In a way, he's more devastated by what happened than you are.”

She sniffled noisily. “He is?”

“Yes, he is. Think about it, Hermione. He became sexually involved with a client, a very young client who isn't even of age for consensual sex in our world.” Hermione acted as though she was going to speak up but he held up a hand, silencing her before she could utter a word. “Yes, yes, I know you and I are sexually active, but our circumstances are a bit unusual now, aren't they?” He waited for her to nod before continuing. “And yes, I would end up in Azkaban for a short time if news of our relationship became common knowledge. Don't you think I worry about that?”

Remus smiled wearily, the wrinkles around his eyes becoming more prominent as he did so. “Back to Bill. His biggest worry is about his girlfriend who, I might add, would be more than a little upset if she found out what happened between the two of you. He's also worried over how his family would react, not to mention his employers. Bill has a lot to lose if word got out about what happened.”

“Oh, but still, Remus...”

“Saying he was taken over by a curse won't wash, no matter how true it is.” He smiled lamely. “Especially to Fleur. She would be crushed if she ever found out.”

Hiding her face, Hermione hung her head as she looked at him through her bangs again. She didn't know why, but she felt a sudden pang of jealousy shoot through her. “He's, um, he's going out with Fleur?”

“Yes. They've been seeing each other since they met last year at Hogwarts.”

“Oh.” 'There's so much I don't know anymore. I'm so out of the loop. Will my friends accept me back again? Or will I always feel alone?'

“Bill is an Order member, hon. He's also very good at what he does. And just remember, sweetie, Bill wants to finish removing the curses, yet he doesn't want to come back and face you because he's just as confused and upset over the incident as you are.”

“Can't Professor Dumbledore find someone else to remove this curse? Does it have to be Bill?”

“I'm afraid so. I've already mentioned several reasons why it has to be Bill. Remember, Albus is trying to keep your whereabouts a secret. At least for now. Bill is a very trusted member of the Order, and he'll do what he must to help you without revealing the secrets he's been entrusted with.”

“I know, but...”

“Hermione, I really must be firm with you on this and put my proverbial foot down. Believe me when I say I don't want Bill anywhere near you, but I have to be mature about this. You have no idea how much of a struggle it is for me to keep from turning Bill away. But I must allow what is best for you, and it is in your best interest that I permit Bill to come and remove the curse from you, if he can.” He took in a deep breath and sat back, one hand on his thigh while the other remained on the table. “Albus is coming to sit and talk with the both of you about what happened in an effort to make things easier. And I promise that I'll stay with you the whole time to make sure nothing else happens between the two of you. Okay?”

Hermione felt a great sadness wash over her. Would Remus always have to stay with her when Bill was around? How could he be so forgiving of her? Of them both after what he walked in on?

“But, I, I really, I mean... I'm sorry, Remus. I really am, for what happened. I still don't, I mean, well...”

Abruptly, Remus stood, then extended his hand. Hermione hesitated a moment, fearful he was angry, before standing and grabbing his hand. Her hand firmly encased within his, she followed him to the settee that sat in the far corner of the room. Once seated, Remus pulled her close to him and she turned so her legs were over his before snuggling against him. With a small sigh, she closed her eyes, placing her ear against his chest. She smiled as she listened to his heart beating, finding it helped her relax.

“Listen to me, Hermione. I really mean it when I say that I consider what happened between you and Bill to be done with, it's in the past. Please, don't dwell on it.”

“Yes, sir.” Hermione reached up and began playing with a button on his worn, gray-colored shirt.

A low growl vibrated her ear.

“Don't 'sir' me. I really am beginning to get annoyed when you call me that. I'm not your Professor anymore, nor am I an authority figure. I consider myself your significant other. I'd say boyfriend, but that sounds so damned juvenile that I can't bring myself to do it.”

Hermione smiled, nodding silently as she reached up and began to leisurely unbutton his shirt. Remus looked down and watched her fingers deftly work the buttons free, her hand slowly working down until she had them all undone. He held his breath when she began fingering his belt before she began to slowly pull on it, working it loose. Sighing regretfully, his heart thudding in his chest as his body began to respond to the thought of her touching him, he grabbed her hand and firmly pulled it away. He wondered, yet again, why after what she had dealt with for so long with Sirius and that elf, she turned to sex so often. He'd have thought she would do her best to avoid it. 'Is it due to the teaching by that blasted elf? Or that last remaining curse? Or is it just a psychological need she is exhibiting?'

“We'll have none of that, young lady, until we are finished talking.”

Giving a frustrated sigh of her own, Hermione pulled away slightly, her legs remaining over his.

“You've spoken with Professor Dumbledore about taking me outside?” Her hand slid from his and she slowly moved it along the edge of his shirt before slipping it inside as she spoke, her fingers playing with his chest hair.

Remus grabbed her wrist and gently tugged her hand out, batting it away as he nodded. “Yes, that's where I went last night after supper.”

Nibbling on her lip, she carefully unbuttoned his shirt sleeve and slowly rubbed up and down on his arm, her touch feathery, her fingers enjoying the feel of his hair. “Why didn't you tell me about it when you came back?”

Remus grabbed her forearm, sighing as he pulled her hand out of his sleeve. Smiling tiredly and leaning his head against the wall as he spoke. “I knew it would upset you.” He brought his head up and looked into her eyes as his fingers lightly played with her hand. “I guess I wanted to keep peace for a while.”

“Oh.” She looked down at his thumb as it rubbed along her knuckles. “Do I cause you that much worry, Remus?”

He nodded. “I don't deny that I worry a great deal about you, Hermione.” Thinking a moment before continuing on slowly, he brought her hand up to his lips and gave it a kiss. “You're my girl, after all. And I want you happy. Happy and whole. After all you've gone through, it's going to be a hard road to full recovery. I worry that you'll be forever...” He paused as he struggled for the right words. ”Forever tainted. No, that's not the word I want to use. The word scarred is a little more appropriate. I fear you'll be forever scarred and never completely heal. You'll have festering wounds, as the saying goes. I fear you'll never go back to being the Hermione you once were.”

“I don't feel any different. I'm still the same Hermione.”

Smiling as he nodded, Remus tapped a finger on the tip of her nose. “You are still our Hermione, but you are different. To be honest, I don't know how to explain it to you adequately.” 'How do I tell her that her spark is gone? Her temerity, her zest for knowledge, her drive? She hasn't asked once about the library, nor has she shown any true interest in the books that have been provided for her. She either sits or lies down quietly, only becoming joyful and animated when playing with Persimmonie.' A smile flitted across his face. 'Well, no, that's not the only time she becomes animated.'

Closing his eyes, Remus thought about the little 'make-out session' he had been animatedly involved in with her before Albus interrupted them. 'When her parents are around, I can practically see her struggling to keep herself under control as her excitement mounts. But, lordy, when her parents leave, she certainly does become a little tigress, now doesn't she? Ready to pounce on the bones of this old werewolf at a moment's notice.'

“Is it so terrible if I am different, Remus? I don't think I've become an awful person or anything, have I? I mean, I didn't think I changed all that much. Won't people like me anymore? I mean, I didn't have a lot of friends before, but I did have a few. I didn't realize, I mean...”

“Shhh. I didn't intend to upset you. And yes, I do know what you mean. We'll all love you as you are now, but you aren't the same as you were before Sirius took you. You're quieter, more cautious. I don't know, you're just different.”

“I feel fine, Remus. And I am getting better. I'm not having those nightmares anymore, the ones that were caused by that curse. And I feel okay. Well, for the most part I do.”

“Sweetie, I think you're still numb from all the trauma. You're acting 'fine', for lack of a better word, because you're using defense mechanisms right now. They are helping you deal with the aftermath of the trauma you've dealt with for the last year.”

“What does that mean? I'm 'numb'? I'm fine, Remus.”

“I suppose you'll find out soon enough, hon. I can't explain it, not exactly. I had the emotional numbness after the death of James and Lily, and after the supposed death of Peter. Not to mention one of my best friends being accused of murdering them and going to Azkaban. It didn't really sink in for awhile, and when it did, deep depression set in.”

“Oh, but Remus, I won't have a problem with depression! I'll be fine. I can deal with everything that happened, I know I can. I mean, it's pretty straight forward, isn't it? I know I was kidnapped and, uh, and raped... and stuff.” Hermione squirmed as she spoke, her head dropping forward so her hair fell in front of her face.

Remus studied her reaction silently for a moment before putting his fingers under her chin and pulling her head up so he could look at her. “Um-hmmm.”

She lifted her chin and jerked her head out of his hand, lowering her head again as she reached down and began playing with a button on her shirt.

“Listen to me. I know you struggle with the fear that others will find out the exact nature of what went on between you, Sirius, and Kreacher.” Hermione shoulders curved inward and her head dipped lower when the elf's name was mentioned. “You struggled to deal with fear, humiliation, embarrassment, anger, hopelessness, anxiety... Need I go on? You struggled for almost a year with all those feelings, all by yourself, without anyone to discuss them with, without an outlet for them. They're still bottled up within you, and they'll try to find their way out when you least expect it. If you don't learn to handle them, they'll destroy you.”

Hermione quickly jerked her head back and forth as she reached forward and began playing with his shirt buttons.

“I don't want to upset you, Hermione. Truly, I don't. But you need to start dealing with things head on so you can move on with your life. You have no idea how much I want to whisk you away, like in a fairytale, and take you someplace where no one knows us. But, to do that would be running away from the problem. No matter what I do or where I take you, you'll still have the memories to deal with. Trying to leave them behind you won't work.” He pulled her chin up a little as he tried to look at her face. “I think you are stronger than that and will be able to deal with all this if you let your friends help you. But, you'll have to let them in so they can help. Do you understand?”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“Hermione.” Exasperated, he tried to think of a way to make his point. “Sweetie, you still have a fear of large spaces.” He put his hand on top of hers and gave them a squeeze. He was pleased she didn't pull away from him but rather turned her hands so her palms faced upward, allowing his thumb to lightly stroke them. “You have a fear of people. And you are having nightmares, your mother told me you were whimpering and crying in your sleep last night.”

“Oh, I, uh, no, not really...” He squeezed her hand and shook it slightly. “Well, okay, yes, I was having a bad dream. But they weren't all that bad. And they aren't those ones from that curse. They've just been plain, old, ordinary nightmares.”

“They?”

Hermione pulled her hands away from him and began to wring them nervously. “Well, I had a few bad dreams. Ones I remember, anyway. Isn't that better, Remus? At least these dreams I remember. Not like those other ones you told me about - the ones I didn't remember, the ones that I would get up and try to hide when I had them? And, like I said, they weren't all that bad. Nothing more than what everyone else has, I'm sure.”

“Bad dreams that weren't all that bad. Hermione, listen to yourself. Don't play down your responses to what happened to you. You have to accept them for what they are and work to deal with the trauma you have suffered.”

Feeling annoyance flare up within her, she lifted her chin and exclaimed, “But I'm fine! Why do you insist upon acting as if I'm an emotional cripple! Everyone acts like they are treading on eggshells whenever they're around me.” For emphasis, she crossed her arms in a huff before stating defiantly, “I tell you, I'm fine!”

Remus smiled, pleased to see her acting as she had before her kidnapping. “Now that's more like it. The old Hermione is surfacing.”

His smile broadened when she gave him a look of surprise.

'I was like that, wasn't I? I'd pipe up about things and argue if I thought I was right. Back when I wasn't afraid to, when I didn't have to worry about being punished.' Her mood darkened as she remembered the numerous ways Sirius and Kreacher would punish her – from tying her to a chair while beating and sodomizing her, to forcing her to repeatedly perform sex acts until she 'got the message', to putting the horrid wet pillow case over her head. She found herself looking at her bare pillow, remembering how shocked everyone was when she cried frantically until the pillow cases were removed from all the pillows in the room. At the time, she had been too embarrassed to admit why the presence of the cases upset her, though she knew she shouldn't have been. Even now, she found she still couldn't talk about it, much as she wanted to. Indeed, some of her nightmares had been about a pillowcase slipping off her pillow and wrapping itself around her head while she felt hands touching her and doing things to her. She shuddered as she remembered that dream and struggled to put it in the back of her mind.

Her eyes came up slowly and she looked at Remus slyly, noting how he was watching her, how he seemed to be studying her. She thought about Sirius, thinking about how she'd never be able to talk about her fears with him, how he'd get angry and impatient with her and then make her do things just to prove he could. For the first time, she truly appreciated the fact that she didn't have to worry about being punished anymore. 'Remus wouldn't hurt me like that, I know he wouldn't. He's so understanding and kind. I'm so lucky Sirius made him come down even though it ruined his life. I'd still be down there if it weren't for him.'

Her lower lip trembling, she slouched down a bit and leaned against him, putting a hand on his chest and tightening her legs so her hips were pulled closer to him.

Initially, Remus was amused as he watched the emotions flitting across her face, then disheartened when he shuddered and her lip began to tremble before she snuggled against him. He slid his right arm around her shoulders and his left hand came up to hold hers against his chest as he contemplated the sudden sadness that seemed to envelope her.

He still hoped she would see that her friends missed her and liked her the way she was before her disappearance. They all missed their bossy Hermione, the 'know-it-all', as Severus snidely called her. He gave out a little huff as a smile drew the corners of his lips upward - he had a sneaking suspicion that, deep down, Severus didn't hate her as much as he pretended to. To be sure, the man didn't exactly like her, but he couldn't possibly hate her as much as he hated Harry. Remus' smile faltered a moment before disappearing, his expression growing somber. 'It's amazing how much Severus transferred his hate of James onto Harry. Amazing, yet frightening.' He looked at Hermione. 'And his hate of Harry caused him to shift his dislike onto Harry's friends as well. What a shame. Severus has become such a dour man at such a young age, all because of the childhood pranks of my friends.'

Remus thought about the things said and done to Severus by James and Sirius while he passively stood by and watched. He never joined in with them when they did things to others, but he never stopped them, either. 'Yes, I can understand Severus' dislike of me. And I can even understand his dislike of Harry since Harry is a near clone of James. But this childish insistence he has of hating anyone who befriends Harry is ridiculous. I really must talk to him about that. Especially if he is going to be teaching my girl this summer. I'll not have him tormenting her like he did Harry during those disastrous Occlumency lessons.'

He looked down at his girl, scrutinizing her body language. It was unfortunate, but not unexpected, that she was different from before. They just needed to help her see how much she had changed, and realize that she didn't need to be afraid of being her old self anymore. She no longer had threats of punishment hanging over if she rebelled or spoke up. As she never mentioned them, he didn't know the full extent of her punishments, but he knew they were severe. He scowled when he thought about Sirius commenting “I let her stew in her aches and pains for a while before healing her” as they argued at Grimmauld Place just before Molly came up the stairs.

She needed to realize that she could prattle on about things if she so desired, she could refuse things if she wanted, and she could decide what she wanted for herself. 'Well, for the most part. If she had her way, she'd live in this room forever. And isolate herself. She needs to recognize the impact her life with Sirius had on her and work through the emotional baggage that is sure to start affecting her soon.' He brought his hand up and slid his hand along her hair, petting her as he pushed his chin down onto the top of her head. The main thing, at least for right now, is that she needs to realize how her responses to situations have changed. She needs to understand that she IS different from how she was before so she can recognize the signs and work on curbing her responses.'

“Hermione, what happened when your mother started asking you questions about Sirius and Adara, the first night they were here after your rescue?”

“I, um...” She sat up abruptly and looked down at her hands while giving a small shrug. “Well, I wasn't expecting her to ask those questions and I didn't know how to act or what to say.”

“And what did you do? What was your response?”

Looking at her fingers, Hermione wished Remus would let the subject drop. “I, um, I felt the, uh, the sudden need for a bath.”

“Because?”

Hermione let out an annoyed huff. “Remus, please. I...”

“Hermione, we need to discuss this, and we will. Answer my question, please.” Remus put his hand over hers and gave it a squeeze.

“I needed a bath because I felt dirty, okay?” Hermione pushed his hand away and gave his chest a tiny shove. “I never feel clean, I feel like I've got this invisible layer of, of, of... I don't know, I mean, I know I'm not dirty, but yet, I feel unclean. I feel hands on me sometimes, and, and, and other... things... And I keep washing, hoping those feelings will go away, that I'll feel clean again.”

“I'm sure that you do realize that that is a psychological response, don't you? This sense of feeling unclean, of feeling dirty?”

Remus closed his eyes as he remembered the same feeling wash over him the first time he was forced to perform sexually for Sirius and Kreacher. The feeling of uncleanliness was nearly overwhelming and there were times, to this day, when he struggled to keep from scrubbing his skin raw, knowing he'd never feel completely clean again. It was a daily struggle to just take a single ordinary shower anymore. Opening his eyes, he looked at his girl as she wiped tears from her eyes. Without thinking, he reached up to wipe them away and frowned when she batted his hand away and pulled back with a gasp.

“Hermione?”

“I, um, my tears, they're dangerous. Bill said so.”

Remus smiled. “Sweetie, I have kissed and licked your tears from your face many times before, I hardly think touching them will cause me any harm.” He reached up and used his thumb to wipe her tears away. “I've partaken of most of your body fluids on many occasions, sweetie, and I'm fine, aren't I?”

“You, you seem to be, I guess.” He frowned at the look of confusion on her face and the way her voice faltered.

“Then don't worry about my touching your tears.” His hand slid down to her breast, cupping it lightly. “Or of my drinking from you.” He slid his hand down and nestled it between her legs, pausing as she took in a deep breath and arched her back slightly. “Or eating from you. Do you understand?”

Suddenly feeling breathless, she responded with a shaky whisper as she struggled to keep still. “Yes, sir.”

Feeling conflicted, Remus knew he should remove his hand while speaking to her. He knew that by keeping his hand where it was would increase her excitement and make her less able to concentrate. Despite acknowledging this to himself, he found himself unable to dredge up the will power to pull his hand away. 'Gods. Is this the pull of the potion? Is this due to what Kreacher gave her to protect her? Will I ever be able to walk away from her? Or will I wind up like Sirius? Half-crazed with desire?' His heart fluttering in his chest, he continued talking, very much wanting to get his point across before things got out of hand.

“Where did that 'sir' come from?” He teased while squeezing her thigh. “Hermione, you frightened your mother when you left abruptly, and you attempted to defy Professor Snape. All to get a bath. Does that sound rational to you? Does that sound like a 'normal' response to the questions your mother posed you?”

“Um, no, I guess not.” 'Oh my, his hand feels lovely.' She squirmed closer to him, her fingers delicately sliding along his open shirt and slipping inside.

“So, what does that tell you?”

His right arm pulled her closer as her fingers began to slide inside his pants, his belt slowing their descent. 'Shit. This conversation isn't going to last much longer, now is it? Not at this rate.'

“That I, that I need to, uh...” She squirmed again, her hips rolling so she could push herself against him. She felt as if her heart was going to pound out of her chest and she could feel her wetness beginning to dampen her knickers. “That I need to learn to... to deal with, um...”

Remus knew he should remove his hand from between her legs, he just knew it, but he found himself pushing his fingers against her instead, his thumb slowly moving in a lazy circle. 'I am cursed. For God's sake, I'm cursed with this girl.' He smiled as he rubbed her a little harder. 'But what a blessedly wonderful way to be cursed.'

She couldn't concentrate anymore, his touch seeming to erase her memory and make it so she couldn't form coherent thought. “Please, Remus, I...”

“Shhhh.” Slowly, he slid his fingers under her knickers, his digits sliding along her warm, wet folds as he sought her entrance. With his free arm, he pulled her towards him and was pleased when she repositioned herself and straddled his thighs. His fingers followed her, several sliding into her while his thumb continued slowly circling her clit as it became engorged with her growing passion.

He leaned forward and kissed her nipple through her shirt before attempting to suck on the moist ring that was growing on it. “I believe my little tigress is a tad bit over-dressed. Do you think you can remedy that little problem, my dear?”

“But, I, uh, I thought you wanted to...”

Remus growled and his thumb stilled. Emitting a gasp, Hermione quickly grabbed her shirt and yanked it off, unceremoniously dropping it onto the floor behind her before pulling her bra off and depositing it alongside her shirt.

Her heart pounding and her nub throbbing, Hermione looked down at him, deciding she would finally ask him to do something she had been wanting but had been too embarrassed to ask for. She saw this as the perfect opportunity to do so as she mustered up her . 'I know I shouldn't want this, I know it, but I do. I keep thinking about it and hoping he'll do it without my asking. I'm even dreaming about it now. I just hope he isn't disgusted with me or gets angry with me when I tell him what I want.'

Gently, Hermione put her hands on his shoulders and pushed back when he leaned forward to take in a dripping nipple. Nibbling her lip again, she watched his expression change to one of mild annoyance.

“Why are you stopping me from taking my morning meal, my dear?”

“Remus, I... I want you to, um...”

His hands left her hips and slid up her bare back. “A request?”

“I, uh,” Hermione blushed as she spoke quickly. 'Go on! Ask! Don't be afraid!' “Would you, um, bind my hands and, and make me do things?” Watching his facial expression carefully, she continued. “I, um, I like that. I miss that.”

“You miss it?” Remus couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice. “Where did this sudden desire come from? Hermione, that's, I thought that frightened you. I thought...”

Without a word, Hermione leaned forward so her nipple touched his lips. Remus' tongue came out and he waited in anticipation as her milk dripped onto it. Curling his tongue slightly, he licked her clean before puckering his lips, readying to suck on her greedily. He growled even louder than before when she pulled back slowly, his mouth following.

“Please, Remus. I don't know why, but I want you to do that. I keep dreaming about being tied up, and it excites me. But my dreams scare me because I'm with Sirius and Kreacher. When I'm with you, nothing frightens me because I know you won't hurt me.” Grinding her crotch against his every evident erection, she jiggled her breasts and smiled as he let out a groan. “Please, Remus. Please?”

Her smile broadened when her arms were suddenly pulled behind her, as if by invisible hands, and felt binding being wrapped securely around her wrists.

Remus smiled at her as he grabbed her by her upper arms and pulled her close to him, bringing her tits within easy reach for a wet lick. He slid his hands along her arms, following the contour of her clavicles, then slid them down over her breasts, tweaking her nipples and squirting her milk into his mouth. He looked up at her, uncertainty flitting across his face before he took in a deep breath and nodded his head, much as if he were agreeing with something someone was telling him. His smile sharpened as he reached behind her and smartly slapped her bottom.

“Now, my little tigress, you won't pull away from me ever again, or I shall be forced to punish you.”

Eyes closed, Hermione hunched her shoulders and leaned forward so she could breathe into his ear, “Yes, Master.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Story time: 5:23pm

“Hello, Molly.”

“Remus! I'm so glad to see you, dear! I wondered where you've been. I told Arthur early this morning how I've missed your company.”

Glancing about, Remus smiled as he stepped into the dark, narrow hallway of Grimmauld Place.

“I hope you'll stay for supper. We've plenty.”

“Yes, that would be nice. I do miss your cooking, Molly.”

Molly beamed up at him as she turned and bustled towards the kitchen. “Well, good. Supper will be served in about half an hour. That will give you boys plenty of time to visit with each other while I finish up.” She stopped and turned to look at Remus, then whispered, “You can get Sirius out of the kitchen for me. He's sweet, but I work best alone or with Ginny. I think he's very lonely because he keeps trying to help and he gets in the way more than anything.” She peeked behind her, looking at the kitchen door before turning back and speaking in a loud whisper. “Also, see if you can talk to him about spending so much of his free-time alone. I know I said he must be lonely, but he does spend an unusual amount of time by himself, coming down to check things out and then disappearing again. He's usually either in his room or sitting in the library. He, uh, he spends quite a bit of time whispering to himself, and he worries me.” She peeked at the kitchen again. “And, Remus, he really needs to bathe. I've told him several times about it, but he won't listen to me. Perhaps you could get him to do that.”

“I'll do my best, Molly.” He looked at the kitchen doorway. “Sirius is in the kitchen now?”

“Oh, yes, dear. Right now we're the only one's here. Arthur should be home soon and Bill said he would drop in after work as well. He went back this afternoon; he was on some sort of assignment for Albus for a few days.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Oh, you knew? I can't imagine how I missed that information during an Order meeting. Was I busy getting food for everyone?”

Remus smiled tiredly. He didn't want to lie by saying she missed this information during an Order meeting because Bill's assignment had to do with Hermione. Not everyone in the Order was privy to the fact that she had been rescued, and he understood Albus' reluctance to discuss her with Molly and Arthur. He didn't want to lie, but he didn't want to deal with the truth. He sighed.

“You must have been, Molly. I don't really recall.”

“Oh, well, I hope I didn't miss anything else that was important. Come along and get Sirius out of my hair for me.” She turned abruptly and walked into the kitchen. “Sirius, you have a visitor.”

Remus followed her into the kitchen, looking down upon Sirius for the first time since Hermione's rescue. He wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but he was unprepared for how scraggly Sirius looked. His hair was unkempt, his beard untrimmed, his clothing wrinkled. Sirius stood as Remus walked in, his eyes trailing behind as if looking to see if someone was following him. His shoulders slumped and he sat back down when he saw Remus was alone.

Remus greeted him with a nod. “Sirius.”

“Remus. What are you doing here?”

“Well, I thought I'd visit with you for a while. Molly invited me for supper so I'll be staying longer than I anticipated.”

“Yeah, well,” Sirius grumbled, scratching at his beard. “I suppose that's all right.”

“Perhaps,” Remus turned slightly and pointedly looked at the door, “we could go in the library and talk?”

“The library? No. No, not there. That's my ki... uh, no, not there. How about my room? I need to tend to Buckbeak anyway.”

“All right.”

Following Sirius up the stairs, Remus waited while he fed Buckbeak and tended to the creature's physical needs. Sirius spent a great deal of time, using his wand, preening the beast's feathers while Buckbeak stood tall and stretched, obviously enjoying the attention.

While Sirius was busy, Remus turned his attention to the numerous moving pictures hung on all the walls in the room, wishing he could go back to the times when they were made. He relived each image, remembering when this one was taken or that one. He remembered fondly what they were doing in the one image – one where Remus and Sirius were wrestling in the grass while fighting for James' snitch, only to have James lithely reach out and grasp the damned thing with such casual grace that Remus could have strangled him in irritation. Remus chuckled as those stupid teenage feelings washed over him again, making him feel both youthful and old at the same time.

Another image showed James and Sirius clowning around as an upside down Peter hung in front of them, his eyes popping at the indignation of the predicament he found himself in while a laughing Remus stood in the background. That image reminded him of the day James and Sirius did the same thing to Severus, the day Severus called Lily an unmentionable name, forever ruining their friendship. Suddenly saddened, he watched as the two boys jovially congratulated each other while Peter struggled. He felt sudden irritation as he watched his youthful self perpetually laughing in the background.

His reminiscing was abruptly interrupted by Sirius who, finally finished caring for the Hippogriff, plopped himself in the chair across from Remus, then turned to moodily stare out the window.

Without looking at his old friend, he asked gruffly, “How's Hermione?”

“She's fine.”

Sirius' head turned and his eyes bore into Remus. “Albus keeps saying that. He also keeps hinting that he'll bring her here for a visit, then comes alone.”

Remus crossed one leg over the other and scooted himself slightly to the side so he could lean down, his elbow on the chair's armrest, his chin cupped in his hand.

“He does? He keeps promising to bring her to you?”

“Well, he hints at it. 'We'll see, Sirius' and all that rot. He's really beginning to piss me off.” Sirius sat forward, his elbows on his thighs, his eyes intent upon Remus. “I want to see my Kitten. I won't hurt her, I won't take her, I just want to see her.”

Taking in a deep sigh, Remus studied Sirius. 'He's so damned desperate to see her. Will I become that way if she's removed from me? Is this due to Kreacher's teaching or due to the potion? Or both? I'm going to forever worry about this, aren't I?'

“I don't know if that's a good idea right now, Sirius. She's struggling to deal with all that happened to her.”

“Bullshit! What happened to her wasn't all that bad! I took care of her needs, I kept her safe, she never went hungry! I want my Kitten, Remus. Let me see her. I just want to hold her, to feel her close to me. Come on, Remus! I'm going crazy here thinking about her. I...”

“Yes, I can see that.”

Sirius gave him a sharp look. “See what?”

“You're going crazy. Absolutely nuts. I never thought it was a true phenomenon, to go crazy if someone is taken away from another,” Remus pointed at Sirius, “but you are certainly proving it to me.”

“What? What the fuck are you going on about?”

“Look at you, Sirius. Have you showered since she's been gone? Shaved?” He jabbed a finger at Sirius, then made a swiping motion with his hand. “Look at you, your clothes are a rumpled mess. How much sleep have you had? What's going on with you?”

Sirius looked down at himself and smoothed a hand down the front of his food-stained shirt.

“I, uh, I sort of forgot about personal hygiene, didn't I?” He smiled sadly, showing his dirty teeth – obviously, he hadn't been brushing them, either.

“It looks that way, yes.”

“I'll shower in a little while. I guess it has been somewhat unpleasant to be near me. Do I smell?” Sirius raised an arm and sniffed. “Oh, shit yeah. It would have been terrible if Hermione had been with you, now wouldn't it? For her to see me like this.”

“Sirius.” Remus grumbled his name, a touch of sadness in his voice. He slid down in his seat and recrossed his legs.

“What?”

“What if she's never brought to you?” Remus slowly lowered his arms, resting his hands lightly on the arm rests as he sat forward. “What will you do if you never see her again?”

“What?” Sirius shot out of his chair and put his hands on his head, his elbows jutting straight out. “Oh, fuck no, Remus! Don't tell me she won't see me!” He turned and jabbed a finger at Remus. “Don't you dare tell me that!” He pointed his thumb at himself. “I know better, I know she wouldn't refuse to see me. I know it.” His face crinkled as the last sentence was whispered out, tears welling up as he turned his back on Remus.

“Sirius, listen to you!” Remus stood and carefully walked towards the distraught man. “Look at yourself! You're falling apart, man! You've got to pull yourself together, you've...”

“Don't fucking give me that shit, Remus!” Sirius spun around as he shook a fist at his friend. “She's mine, damn it!” He shoved a finger into Remus' face. “And you stole her from me, didn't you?”

Grabbing a fistful of Remus' shirt, he brought his hand back as he prepared to swing.

Without hesitation, Remus pulled his wand and Sirius shot back from him, slamming into the wall and crumpling to the ground, a moving picture of the Marauders falling from its hook and sliding down with him. After a moment of shocked silence, Sirius began laughing, then crying as he stared at his hands.

Keeping his wand out, Remus cautiously walked over to Sirius and crouched in front of him.

“Sirius, please, you're falling apart.” He spoke in a ragged whisper, unshed tears in his eyes. “Don't fall apart over her. Life won't be over if you never see her again.”

“I've got to see her, Remus! I've just got to!” Sirius put his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his bent knees. “Of all people, I thought you'd understand. I don't know what's wrong with me, Remus, but I feel like I'll be okay if I could see her. Just once, that's all I need.” Sirius looked up, his eyes pleading. “Please, Remus, bring her to me. I won't hurt her, I promise. Come on, man, help an old friend out.”

Remus' eyes softened. His whole reason for coming tonight was because he had planned to tell Sirius about the impending burial of his daughter, but now he couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew Sirius would want to attend, but he also now knew the man would get out of control once he saw Hermione. Remus didn't think Hermione would be able to deal with the burial of her child and meeting Sirius at the same time. He had to face facts, he didn't know if he, himself, could deal with it, either. He loved Adara as much as they did, and he had his own emotional issues to contend with while trying to be strong for his girl.

His mind conjured up all kinds of scenario's if Sirius were to attend the burial: Sirius attempting to kidnap Hermione, becoming violent while attempting to do so, or breaking down into a gibbering fool when denied a chance to speak with her alone. He knew Severus would be present and could see the two men getting into a duel – their hate for each other causing each to over-react and lose control. No, it was best Sirius not attend, even if it meant denying him his rights as a grieving parent.

He hated to see his friend suffering so, but he feared what would happen if he granted him his wish.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Author's notes for this section of the chapter:

Scar maturation:
http://www.brownsteinmd.com/installment1.html
*
Neurocardiogenic (or vasovagal) syncope (I have had patients die from this, found them deader than a doornail on the loo/toilet/bedside commode. However, patients usually just faint – when they fall to the floor their blood pressure begins to rise, their heart rate increases, and they wake up. But, with a bad heart, taking a dump can be lethal.):
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17898398
http://www.lumrix.net/medical/cardiology/vasovagal_syncope.html
http://www.mdguidelines.com/vasovagal-syncope
http://www.slideshare.net/CaliforniaCathy/vasovagal-syncope-1504013
http://bja.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/86/6/859

The 'refractory' part of it is my imagination running away with a known condition... Also, FYI, in the word 'syncope', the ending 'E' is not silent – you actually say the letter. Why they didn't spell it 'syncopie' or 'syncopy' is beyond me.
*
Uterus extraho incendia' means 'Uterus Dragon Fire' in Latin... Combined, you get the Extrutero Incendia potion... Okay, okay. So what if I'm not as good as JKR when it comes to naming these potions?
*
Potions made per year at Hogwarts:
http://www.hp-lexicon.org/hogwarts/classes/potions.html
*
Denatured proteins (in reference to Albus' commentary on separating solidified egg whites):
http://www.sumanasinc.com/webcontent/animations/content/proteinstructure.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denaturation_%28biochemistry%29

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