Memoirs of a Serpent's Son

NOTE: This is a warning, or rather a reminder, that I'm taking the road less traveled with this fic and yet still using things that make sense to me... or at least that could make sense. If you disagree, I'm sorry but I hope you can at least understand where I'm coming from. Or just enjoy it anyway :) *love*

Memoirs of a Serpent’s Son

--Age 17—part 10

September 12

It’s been almost a week since… since everything shifted. I found out that my father was buried on the plots at Azkaban prison… though an empty tomb was created for him anyway on the land of Malfoy Manor…next to my mother’s tomb. I didn’t even know…

The Ministry set it up apparently…because of all the generous donations my father made to them… they followed out his last will and testament, I suppose. All Malfoys get buried on that land… there is a small cemetery on the grounds, though I’ve never been there… It’s really not the liveliest place I could go.

The rest of my time has been spent quietly in my room… I’ve been having trouble coming to terms with everything. Even the parts that I acted out myself. I know that handing everything over to Potter was the right thing to do… it NEEDED to be done… but it’s still so strange… to know that he owns everything of me now. Absolutely everything.

And everything was given willingly.

But is he even aware of that?

………

I think I need to just stop this. I mean… he’s even TRIED to give it a chance and it didn’t work. Too afraid of what the world would think of him… the GREAT Harry Potter in a relationship with, not only a man, but the blood-traitor Draco Malfoy.

Yes, I can just see it now on the front page of the Daily Prophet. That and I’d likely have a massive Dark Mark tattooed on my forehead to make the headline that much more attractive.

I don’t know where this spite is coming from. Oh wait…

Yes that’s right… it’s coming from the knowledge that Potter is ultimately not attracted to me.

Bloody hell.

Just SHUT UP DRACO.

Yes, I’m yelling at myself again.

……………………………………………

Ok. I’ve shaken it off.

Anyway, the strangest thing happened today, and it just goes to show how much things are changing… how much I seem to have lost over the past few months…

I was sitting at the table in the kitchen eating lunch with Potter, Weasel and Granger…. Yes I know, Weasel and Granger were actually eating WITH me. And I wasn’t even INVISIBLE or bound to the chair or anything. Just eating.

Though that really isn’t the point.

Then, in the middle of a mouthful of my sandwich, Weasel looks up at me and tells me the most unexpected thing.

“You know Malfoy,” he started, his voice cracking slightly. “I’m really sorry about what happened… you know with your parents and all.”

“Yes… no one should have to live through that,” Granger piped in quietly.

I almost choked before looking up at the two of them. They were staring at me as though rather frightened that I might just explode from one moment to the next.

I won’t lie. I thought I might too.

I couldn’t believe it. I mean… does that make sense? WEASEL actually offering his sympathies for the deaths of my parents? My FATHER, whom HIS FATHER physically fought with in second year??

……

The man who nearly got Dumbledore sacked on several occasions, who tried to get the great oaf sacked, who had the bloody Hippogriff sentenced to death and ultimately brought about the opening of the Chamber of Secrets???

He was SORRY?

Hell, after all that (and more), I’M almost not sorry…. Though I still am…

I gaped wordlessly at him for a moment before understanding something I never had before. Sometimes… in the darkest of moments, even your greatest enemies can be compassionate…

I think it’s because I’ve been locked away with so many Gryffindors for so long.

I just nodded to him. And Granger. I didn’t make any comments. Nothing…

And the strangest part of all was that I felt no need to. No need to say anything hurtful or insulting. No need to point out all the things I’d thought to myself before the nod… no need to jeer at him or poke fun and suggest something inappropriate and foolish.

It’s like in that moment we came to a silent understanding.

There were more important things to deal with.

“Maybe…now is a good time for you to explain these horcrux things,” I suggested. It was an awkward moment but we were all together and I didn’t know if I’d have the courage to go and find them later.

Potter looked up at me from his plate and smiled very briefly.

“Yeah,” he sighed, leaning back. “Well…where to we begin?”

“Well, the basics I guess,” Granger suggested.

“All we know are the basics,” Weasel pointed out. I was not understanding anything any better so I just nodded and waited for them to figure themselves out.

“Alright…” Potter turned around to magically close and lock the kitchen door. He placed a silencing charm on it as well, just for good measure I imagine. Then he turned back to me. “Well, the first time I defeated Voldemort, when I was a baby, I didn’t really defeat him. The spell backfired on him and so he kind of killed himself instead of me… but he wasn’t dead. He was just a shadow of a being… or whatever. He fled that way and went into hiding, but Dumbledore knew that it was only a matter of time before he came back… because he was never really gone.”

“Alright,” I said slowly, trying to sift through Potter’s strange wording. I nodded for him to continue.

“Well, the reason he didn’t die,” he went on. “was because he did some very old dark magic to ensure that he would be immortal. I think what Voldemort fears more than anything else is death… So he created Horcruxes. Seven –well, technically six, he’s the last one –but anyway.

“Horcruxes are items… I suppose, into which you bind a piece of your soul. When you kill someone, a part of your soul tears and most simply lose it. It’s painful and ultimately destructive. But, there is a way around losing the part of your soul. A Horcrux is made right after a kill. So Voldemort would catch the part of his soul that he tore in some kind of object and bind it there. So…if he were ever killed, he would be able to live on –at least in some sense of the term –because his soul still exists in these objects.”

“Yes, alright,” I answered. I knew most of what he said… except the details on what a horcrux is and how to specifically make one… Well whatever. “So that locket is a Horcrux?”

“Yes,” Potter told me. “And we’ve seen others before this. Riddle’s diary in second year, the one that Ginny used to open the Chamber of Secrets, was a Horcrux. I destroyed that one without knowing it…nearly died after that too but anyway. And Dumbledore found one last year. A ring… he destroyed that one.”

“The ring he wore on his dead arm?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow. I think I was picking up on something that Potter hadn’t but anyway.

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Then why do you need my help?” I looked from him to the other two.

“Well, we don’t know how to destroy them,” Potter admitted. “I mean I don’t have a basilisk fang to stab through it, though I doubt that would work anyway…and I have no idea how Dumbledore destroyed the piece of soul in the ring but I’d prefer to avoid having to let my limbs die like that… We don’t have Snape around to save us, after all.”

The last bit was spoken with venom and disdain. He rolled his eyes at the mention of Snape and I don’t blame him. But I still didn’t see it.

“I see your problem,” I conceded. “But I still don’t understand how I fit into this.”

“When you were telling me about the things your father did to you,” he elaborated quietly. “The things that made your arm keep bleeding and all… you mentioned soul magic. I’m quite sure that Horcruxes require the use of soul magic so…I need you to tell us everything you know about it.”

Ah. Of course. I’m simply an idiot.

“All I know is what I’ve read, Potter,” I told him. “My father only used soul magic on me once…”

“Why?” Weasel asked, looking rather green.

“To ensure that while he tortured me my soul wouldn’t simply leave my body.” There was little emotion in my voice, if any. “So that I wouldn’t die from the treatment, I suppose. But his spell didn’t work fantastically well because it was after that that I stopped being able to heal.”

“Wouldn’t that have made you immortal??” Granger inquired, rather shocked. I shook my head.

“No, he could have stabbed me or used a killing curse… it was simply to make sure I didn’t just LET myself die to be rid of his… discipline.” There was spite in my voice now.

“What books have you read?” Potter asked, trying to change the subject and looking much as though he was ready to erupt.

“There were books in Malfoy Manor,” I muttered, thinking back. “But I’ve also read one or two here.”

“Here???” Granger was beside herself. “But I’ve looked at all those books!”

“Clearly not closely enough,” I said offhandedly. “Because it didn’t take me long to find them. But that’s no matter.”

“Well, what did you read? Does it tell you how to destroy a horcrux?” Potter looked like an excited dog now. I shook my head.

“Obviously not, since I didn’t know what a horcrux was until now.” He CAN be daft sometimes. “They were never mentioned, but it did have some important information…And what with everything you’ve just told me I think I have an idea on how to do it…”

“Well, let’s hear everything you know,” Granger demanded, shifting her chair closer to make sure she didn’t miss a word. Even Weasel perked up. I gave them all questioning looks.

“Well…like blood magic,” I began, feeling very much like an unwilling teacher. “Soul magic is the fundamental driving property of witches and wizards. I mean… without soul magic, there is no magic. Blood magic isn’t enough to make a wizard. Many squibs have magic in their blood but lack the magic in their souls. You inherit blood, but your soul is entirely your own.”

“That explains quite a few things,” Granger nodded, eagerly taking what appeared to be mental notes. It was a little bit frightening.

“Yes…Anyway…” I readjusted myself. “Without a soul, a body will simply rot and die…it can continue to exist…that is to say, the heart will still beat…but the person will no longer be there. They are empty shells. And eventually, without the spark of life, the body decays. If a person is killed, meaning their body destroyed, the soul simply moves on. We don’t know exactly where… but somewhere in that equation is when ghosts can come into being…though most souls simply go into another world, I guess… Though if a soul is destroyed, there is never any return, no moving on, simply an end.”

“This was all in the books??” Potter inquired, quite lost. I nodded. “I would never have suspected people to document this kind of thing so specifically… I didn’t think it was possible…”

“Well it is,” Granger said sharply, giving him an angry look as she was clearly being denied further information. “Please, continue.”

Potter gave Weasel a strange look and then looked at me and shrugged and nodded.

“From what I gather,” I elaborated, hesitating slightly. “The price to destroy a soul is a terrible one. There was vague mention in the books I’ve read about the belief that Dementors were once wizards of some kind… and that they were transformed into those hideous creatures as a result of their actions. Dementors feed primarily off souls. The kiss is literally to eat a person’s soul… Which is basically destroying it. The price they pay for this is exactly what they are. They aren’t human… they don’t feel or live. They are cold and empty and subsist solely off of absorbing the life-force of others. When the Ministry put them as the guards of Azkaban it was with the specific rules that they were not to suck out souls unless advised to do so. Sucking the happiness out of people is a lesser way of doing the same thing, mind you… though you lose yourself much less quickly.”

“That’s terrible…” Potter whispered, his eyes shining. “Though it explains a lot about why Voldemort looks and acts the way he does.”

I nearly laughed. It wasn’t the right time… but it was a rather amusing comment on his part. I gave him a small smile.

“So, as far as seems logical,” I said finally. “The only way to destroy a horcrux, which is simply a soul piece, is to give up something in return. Something deemed equivalent, I suppose.”

“But hold on,” Potter stopped me. “I destroyed a horcrux and I didn’t give anything up. And what did Dumbledore really give up that was so important?”

“Oh…” Granger mumbled. “Yes I see it! Don’t you, Harry? Dumbledore’s arm was dead… he was a very powerful spellcaster and his arm was clearly important… that and didn’t he say he was in much worse condition before Snape helped him? He probably would have given up much more than that had he been entirely alone.”

“And Dumbledore was weak all year long,” I added, trying not to think too much about the whole year. Potter looked to the side, likely thinking along the same lines as I was.

“Then what about me?” he spat with distaste. “Have I simply been exempt from the rules again??”

“No…” I started. “You said that you nearly died trying to destroy that. No?”

“Well the basilisk fang got me as I was killing it,” he explained. “Then I used the fang to destroy the diary… but I was already dying.”

“Which was ultimately the point,” I shrugged. “What could Voldemort’s soul want more than the death of Harry Potter? You sacrificed what you thought were your last moments alive to destroy one of his horcruxes. I’d say that was a pretty good deal to him.”

“But I didn’t die,” he argued. “How is that right?”

“Well you can’t expect the damn thing to foresee everything! There is no cure for basilisk venom, there was likely no chance that you would survive!” I answered heatedly. “Speaking of which, how did you NOT die?”

“Fawkes… he cried on my wound and it healed…” he mumbled, backing away a bit at my frustration.

“Ah… phoenix tears,” I whispered. “Figures… How many times have you evaded certain death? Somewhere around twelve?”

He frowned at my sarcasm. I shrugged at him.

“Alright,” he finally agreed. “I suppose that you are right… well it’s the best thing we’ve got to go on, anyway.”

“So are we going to do it?” Weasel asked, still looking rather ill. Potter pulled the locket out of his pocket and laid it on the table. He had us all stand up and back away from it.

“I suppose it’s now or never,” he muttered. “But what do we give up? Or does it pick for you?”

“I imagine you can offer something and hope it takes it…” I suggested, completely in uncharted territories now.

“The most obvious offering is a life,” Granger added, looking as ill as Weasel now.

“We can’t do that,” Potter shook his head. “I refuse to let any one of you die for this… I suppose I could do it though.”

“NO.” The three of us spoke in unison and whipped around to him. But I was the first to scold him. “That’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard you suggest, and I’ve heard you in class. You dying now is exactly what he wants, isn’t it? What do you hope to accomplish by giving Voldemort exactly what he’s after? Are you really INTENT on dooming us all??”

He stared wide-eyed at me for a moment or two.

“Well I’m not going to go through the rest of this war and let other people die to protect me! I will suffer for them, I’ll die for them if I have to!” He was being stubborn again and I felt like hitting him.

Or hexing him.

Or something.

But I controlled myself.

“Potter,” I hissed. “I know you feel you have to be this noble Gryffindor character that swoops in to save the day, but you’ll get your chance to suffer for everyone. YOU have to KILL HIM, remember?? Did you not listen when I explained the soul magic? Or is it that you don’t understand the words that come out of your own mouth? It was NOT be a walk in the park, Potter! It could likely destroy you! TRUST ME, you’ll suffer plenty for all of us.”

Everyone stared quietly at me and Potter nodded finally. I sighed and looked away. I was in no position to be making any kinds of comments like that, but if I didn’t how could I be sure someone else would? How could I be sure that Granger or Weasel could convince him enough to sit back and wait and let others act for him?

“Then who is going to do it? And what do they offer?” Potter asked finally, his voice betraying his frustration.

“Well… I could do it,” Granger offered meekly.

“And what would you sacrifice? Your brains?” Weasel snapped. “And THEN where would we be? Right, great plan Hermione.”

“Oh I don’t see YOU offering any better suggestions!” she retorted angrily, though her cheeks were flushed.

Then they started arguing further and I rolled my eyes. In truth, I knew there was nothing any of those three could offer up as a sacrifice that might satisfy the soul piece… nothing short of their lives and Potter wasn’t ready to do that…

Neither was I, really, but I don’t want to think about that.

So I took a deep breath and did the only thing I could think to do.

I tore the bandage from my arm again and walked up to the locket. I squeezed my arm until enough drops of blood covered the locket so that it was mostly red and not silver. I took a deep breath again and prepared to do it.

After all… even if my attempt backfired… I’m the most expendable life here, aren’t I? I’m the blood-traitor, the one the Ministry is after… the one that the Death-Eaters are after… the one who was ultimately responsible for Albus Dumbledore’s death… I have nothing and no one… If anyone had to give up their life… it should be me.

So I did it. I cast a non-verbal spell… a destructive spell…the strongest one I know, though I can’t remember it now… no matter how hard I try to.

And I can’t even describe the feeling… it was like white, hot, liquid flames were suddenly pumping at top speed through my veins. I threw my head back and opened my mouth wide to scream but nothing came out. No sound anywhere… no voices, no crashing, not even the sound of my own heartbeat…. Pure silence as I writhed in agony and felt as though there were hundreds of people inside of me, each trying to burst through my skin and crush my bones to dust.

My eyes shifted through colours and I had a kaleidoscopic view of whatever was happening in front of me… but it was just lights. Light and dark and colours and the locket floating in mid-air, shaking and cracking and crumbling into dust….then disappearing away.

And the pain wouldn’t end. It wouldn’t end and I felt like I was being stripped of every layer of myself one by one, slowly…the agony was drawn out and increased with every passing moment until, suddenly, without any warning, it was gone.

My eyes were open. I know that much. But I was blind for a while… I don’t know how long. I couldn’t see or hear or feel…I thought I was dead. I thought that this must be what it feels like on the other side… I was sure that someone was going to walk up to me and ask me if I wanted to be a ghost or just cross over… or whatever the alternative is.

And then… a voice.

“DRACO!”

Sounded familiar… like I’d heard it once or twice before. And then the colours came back… and I saw things.

There was Potter kneeling over me. Weasel and Granger were on either side of him and staring at me as though I was the walking dead. Inferius, right?

It took me a moment to remember what it was that was going on…

“Draco! Are you alright? Talk to me!” Potter was urging me and his hands were firmly clasped on my shoulders. I blinked a few times.

“Y…yes…” I stammered as though I’d forgotten how to speak. I didn’t really feel fine. I felt as though I was in an alternate reality… it didn’t feel like my body… it didn’t feel like me. But I knew it must be… things started to filter back in.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!” Potter hollered very suddenly. I whimpered at the sound of his angry voice. I went deaf for a moment and then it came back.

“I did what I had to…” I think that’s what I said anyway. “I destroyed the horcrux, didn’t I?”

There was silence.

“You… you did…” Potter finally admitted. He held up the locket (which I was sure had disintegrated) and it no longer had the same feeling as it did. It was hanging open now and there was a burnt photo on the inside of it. I couldn’t make out who the person had been. “But you could have been KILLED!”

“Well I’m not,” I said simply, trying to sit up. “Am I?”

It was a real question. I felt slightly aware that it was possible…

“No, but that doesn’t mean that it was a smart move, you bloody prat,” he snapped.

He helped me to my feet and I felt very weak. My strength was slowly returning but I felt… empty. Like something was missing. No… not missing. Replaced.

I knew what it was but it felt strange…

I suppose I should have expected that.

“Malfoy,” Granger asked tentatively. “Seeing as you’re still standing and don’t seem to have any dead limbs… what did you sacrifice?”

“The only thing I could think of,” I answered as though it was explanation enough. Then, seeing their faces, I finished. “My blood.”

“What?” Potter furrowed his brows. “But you are still alive and here…”

“Very good, Potter,” I sneered softly. “But as far as the wizarding world is concerned, I am no longer a pure-blood.”

-------IIIIIII-------

A/N: WOW, now, tell me honestly, is there even ONE of you out there that DOESN’T now believe that I’m on some form of crack? I think I am but this is important and means something and please don’t kill me. Hopefully, after the explanation in yesterday’s post, you’ll understand that giving up pure-blood status is a big thing… that and this is DRACO we’re talking about… being a pure-blood was always one of the most important characteristics to his persona…but never fear, I have very intricate plot-lines to follow and things are not always as they seeeeeeeeem.

And I think it was an important sacrifice for him. As you might notice in the obvious pattern here, Draco is giving up a lot… He gave up everything he owned, half his rights to the documentation, his heart… and now his status for Potter… Gah, I hope this doesn’t seem totally off or anything, I AM going somewhere with this, PLEASE bear with me :) Draco needs to earn the respect and trust of those in the order and all of those in the wizarding world if he’s ever going to be accepted back. He’s not doing it for that, of course, but it all serves a purpose.

I feel so nervous posting this O_O seriously…. My stomach is in knots but oh well.

Ok my brain is dead. Hope you likeeeeeeeeee! Love and cookies for reviews and possibly to bribe you into not stoning mee ^^;