All I Ever Wanted

DISCLAIMER: Warning! I make no claim to any property of J.K. Rowling's, and am in no way profiting by this. I do offer her my sincerest thanks for allowing us this garden of the mind in which we play. Further Warning! This story...and likely any I ever write...are dominated by gay themes and characters. That's how it is, if this in any way makes you uncomfortable...do not read further.

Author's Notes: This chapter brought to you by Tori Amos, jammin' me through my headphones. The magic of beta-power (now with new grammar-scrubbing bubbles): brought to you by Scully! Thank you, Scully!


"All I Ever Wanted" Chap. 39 'Breakthrough'


Hermione and Ron came to Harry and Draco's suite fairly early that Sunday afternoon, eager to start the use of the new Translation Spell. This was the break they'd been waiting far too long for, and Hermione had been up since dawn, champing at the bit for the chance to learn a rare and very useful spell. Now came her chance to show it off.

They sat around the table with avid expressions, scrolls and quills at the ready. Within minutes, Hermione had broken the encryption, and the spell further rendered her capable of reading the ancient language in which the grimoire had been written. She began to read aloud, slowly, while the boys took notes furiously. The material revealed was beyond complicated; some of it was so technical that even the reference terms were above their level of mastery. There was still much that made sense, though, and all of it fascinated Harry (not to mention Hermione and Draco).

The gist of the first few chapters was thus: magical energy existed in every particle of air, soil, water and rock in the world. Magic was a by-product of life itself, generated by everything in nature, and harnessed (with considerable difficulty) by wizards and witches to cast spells. Every human being possessed some small reservior of magical energy, even Muggles, but wizards knew how to use theirs to good effect. The strength of a wizard or witch was relative to the amount of magical energy he or she could safely conduit and release in a controlled form. The first chapter even outlined a simple Diagnostic Spell that would gauge a person's effective capacity for the use of magic. This was quickly copied and saved for McGonagall's later approval.

By the time the second chapter was through, it was clear that the simplest exercises in the grimoire would build a wizard's familiarity with handling small amounts of raw magical energy. Once a wizard had acheived a modest level of experience, he could then pull raw magic at will from the surrounding environment. This 'drawn' energy allowed spellcasters to strengthen existing spells, or use magic for longer periods of time without exhausting themselves.

The grimoire went on to explain that, without magic drawn from the environment, a wizard could easily exhaust his magical reserves if he attempted to perform strong magic over too long a period of time. Harry's case of 'Healer's Drain' was a perfect example of this phenomena. Harry had drained his entire body of the magic reserved to power his spells. This had resulted in a temporary collapse, while the body slowly built its reserves back up. They were shocked to learn that, if Harry had been able to pull magic from the world around him, he could have easily healed a hundred people without risking his life!

The Translation Spell lasted only a few hours, and when Hermione could make no sense of the next passage, they marked the page and took a break for lunch. A house-elf brought them sandwiches and juice as well as two plates of biscuits with icing. They tucked into the food with gusto, then sat back to review their notes.

"This stuff is amazing...I read a few similar things in 'Origins of Magic' and 'Basic Magical Theory', but never anything as detailed as this!" Hermione was almost glowing! "Harry...the possibilities are endless! You could yank the magical rug right out from under Voldemort's feet! You could strengthen your own counterspells or shields, or amplify a hex until it could pierce even his best shield! The sky's the limit!"

As cute as a giddy Hermione might be, Ron knew there was something he needed to remind Hermione of, so he interrupted her gently by saying, "'Member, love, the Dork Lord has a copy of this stuff, too! I don't think it'll be easy, but at least Harry can fight fire with fire."

Draco suddenly chimed in, "That's true, but just in case anyone forgot, this is the complete copy...the one Voldie's been carting about is missing a lot. If Harry can master this, he really will have the upper hand." He leaned over and kissed Harry on the head. "That's an idea I really like. The look on that bastard's face when you magically outclass him will be priceless."

"Well, only people with a very large and clear mental conduit for channeling magic can master this, so the first step is learning the Diagnostic Spell from chapter one!" Hermione was already back checking and making tiny test flicks of her wand before Ron interruped her.

"C'mon, 'Mione! We're not supposed to cast anything from the grimoire yet. What if something goes wrong? McGonagall'd have our hides! You know I don't like tinkering with spells I don't even know. We wouldn't even know how to fix something if it went wrong."

After a brief discussion, Draco and Harry fell on the side of curiousity, and the matter was settled by a vote of three to one. Hermione took several minutes to carefully review the spell, then cast it on herself. Within a second or two of uttering the spell and waving her wand, a tiny green light shaped like a bar appeared above her head. It was perhaps an inch or two long at most, but was clear and easy to see, despite its glow. After a few seconds, it faded away. Hermione consulted the text, then spluttered with outrage and cast the spell on herself again without explanation. The results were the same. She wailed, "It's not fair!! This stupid spell says I have a smaller than average channel...it's not possible...I...l must have done it wrong."

"Try me next!" Ron had finally lost his inhibitions. Now his curiosity was piqued and he just had to know. "I gotta see this." He stood up with his arms out like he was waiting to be 'shown the light'. He was ridiculous enough that Hermione considered a Bat-Bogey Hex for a moment, but finally cast the Diagnostic Spell. It appeared a second later, a small green bar perhaps an inch or so larger than Hermione's. Ron signaled Harry for a high five. "Finally, something I've got more native talent at than my girlfriend...other than Quidditch! I wonder if I could do that magic pulling thing, too!"

Draco burst his bubble of enthusiasm by re-reading a portion of their notes, which clearly explained that only a very few wizards possessed a strong enough channel to use that kind of magic. "...and that's not all," he continued. "Don't take it hard, Hermione, but old wizarding families tend to have larger channels for magic because of centuries of practice within the same families. Besides, a wizard with a lot of natural power can be a complete idiot, just as a witch with less magical power can be incredibly skillful at using what she has." He smiled kindly at her, hoping to make her feel a little better, before quickly adding, "Either way, I want to try this next. The Malfoys go back almost a thousand years, so I can't imagine I'll come off too badly at this."

Hermione cast it again, slightly mollified by Draco's explanation. This time the green bar of light was only a little larger than Ron's. Draco looked a little disappointed. He'd rather hoped to seriously outscore Weasley at this, but it seemed he didn't have that much more natural power than Ron. At least he could take comfort in knowing he used his magic with astonishing effectiveness.

Harry finally stood up against the wall, slightly sheepish about being the subject of intense scrutiny. "Okay, 'Mione, hit me with your best shot." He closed his eyes and waited while she incanted the spell one last time.

The bar above Harry's head flickered to life brighter than any of the other's had, this time extending almost a foot and a half in length and crackling with tiny sparks of green bale-fire. The entire room was illuminated in a soft green radiance. Ron gawped in awe. "Blimey! Will you look at that! Harry! You've got magic enough for any half dozen of us at Hogwarts!" he exclaimed.

Draco clapped his hands and laughed, "GO HARRY! That's two ways in which my boyfriend is incredibly well endowed! HAH!" Then he stuck his tongue out at the others and gave them a full strength raspberry, excited beyond the point of preserving his dignity. Harry blushed a little at Draco's comment as he stared in surprise at the bar until it faded away.

Hermione shrugged, "That's it then, Harry. I think we can be fairly certain about your ability to use this kind of magic. The last chapter we were on was hinting at trance techniques and how to channel and release energy safely. Do you want to keep at it today or maybe try some more tomorrow night?"

"We can try one more round, but then Draco and I have some Legilimency to practice. I don't want to be too late starting that. I do want to get enough done tonight to make sure I have something to give to McGonagall. I want to start practicing this stuff right away! The sooner I have it down, the sooner I can hand Lord Prat his own arse and have my life back." Harry sat back down and they went back to work for a couple more hours.

All told, it was a productive afternoon. The book only had eight large chapters and they had finished transcribing five of them in one day. By tomorrow McGonagall would be able to authorize a few experiments for Harry to start on, and they could work up further plans as soon as they got a feel for what Harry could do with his new found talent. Ron and Hermione left for dinner and Draco and Harry curled up for a little while to just rest. They'd been studying since an hour after breakfast and a lengthy break was called for. Draco laid his head in Harry's lap and sighed as Harry's Quidditch-calloused fingers slowly twined their way through his hair. Within minutes, the pale blond was dozing lightly in a haze of contentment.

Harry wasn't sleepy; quite the contrary actually, as he felt more energized by the knowledge he'd gained than he'd felt in days. This new magic offered him a desperately needed weapon in the war against Voldemort, and Harry welcomed any shred of hope that came his way. Someday, if they were very lucky, he could spend every day just like this one. Close to Draco, touching him, hearing the little sleepy sounds he made while he dozed, smelling the fine exotic substances that Draco used in the shower. Heaven.

Now wasn't the time to think with his groin, but Harry couldn't help daydreaming of their last few weeks together. Images flickered across his mind's eye. Draco in the shower...sleek and wet and smiling. Draco walking down the hall with a strut that spoke of power, grace, and raw sensuality. Draco in his arms, wonderfully soft and so hungry for every touch.

All of a sudden, he felt his eyes burning and misting . It struck Harry at that moment how very much his life had changed. Once upon a time and not that long ago, he had been starving for love while watching others eat their fill; now his every day was a banquet. Draco nourished him in a way that no one else ever could.

Never minding the tough times and the problems and the war, this was a change so profound that it carried through every part of Harry's being. He wouldn't change any of it, not even his own past. He knew with perfect clarity that every little step in his entire life had been part of leading him to this. This state of grace that made him feel so deliciously alive. Nothing could compare to this.

Eventually Draco woke and they faced the work they had to do tonight. Draco had a new jewel, and with Harry's help, it would become a matrix that held memories from Draco's childhood. This would be Lucius' last gift from his son, in accordance with his last request. It was the least they could do, given the remarkable last letter he'd left.

Harry entered Draco's mind as gently as a drifting leaf, his increased skill at Legilimency evident by the ease and swiftness of his entry. Draco culled his memories for just the right images, finally settling on a few he brought to the front of his mind. Harry 'marked' each image magically and then slowly withdrew from his lover's mind. One at a time, Draco drew the memories forth with his wand and placed them in the waiting jewel. Harry fixed the memories in place with spells that held them eternally: shifting images locked in stasis forever.

There were three images in all: one of Narcissa and Lucius walking in the garden at sunset, hand in hand; another of Lucius carrying his young son on his shoulders and smiling broadly; and the final was of a slightly older Draco chasing butterflies, while his father laughed cheerfully at his playing child.

When they were finished Draco was smiling even as his eyes teared. "Thanks so much, Harry. In a way, this is even more beautiful than the one you made for me. We made it together, and this one's for my father, even after all he's done. You're a good man, Harry Potter."

Draco brushed aside his remaining tears and smirked as he raised his chin and affected the once familiar air of arrogance he'd been famous for only weeks ago. "Not only that, but you're remarkably lucky as well! After all, without me you'd still be wandering the halls in cast-off rags and looking like you needed handouts! Someone just HAD to take you in hand and get you sorted out...can't very well have the wizarding world saved by a ragpicker, can we?"

"No..." Harry answered quietly, ignoring Draco's attempt at being jovial. "We can't have that. Besides, you know I'd be lost without you, don't you? Without you, none of this really matters. I never looked forward to facing Voldemort...until I had something worth fighting for, that is. Now all I want is to see him destroyed as soon as possible." Harry's voice was soft but determined, and his eyes were burning as he looked at Draco.

They put aside deeper emotions for the evening and made ready for bed, pausing only to clean the clutter from the table. So many notes, so much more to study. The answer to their prayers might be lying in front of them and it ached that they weren't ready to use any of it yet.

When sleep finally came to them it was peaceful enough, but what set this night apart from the last few was the absence of tears. Draco was curled in the crook of his lover's arm, breathing softly and evenly the entire night. If his dreams troubled him, it didn't show, and Harry slept just as easily, not wakened by quiet sobs for the first time in days. It was good that they had such peace between them, because the week to come would be exhausting.