Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

A/N: Just to clarify - no, I don't approve of smoking. I am totally with Remus on this point. I promise that Sirius will quit eventually...when he has other ways to occupy his mouth. ;-)

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Too Blind to See
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A week of detention was less than Sirius was expecting after skipping all his classes for the day. He wouldn’t have been surprised to have his prefect status revoked, as well as at least a month of detentions. He also found himself with double homework for every subject he had skipped out on. The twelve inches of parchment for Professor Slughorn had become twenty four, and the twenty from McGonagall was extended to forty. He wondered how he was going to fit those in around the detentions, especially since he didn’t have any notes from the lessons.

When he returned to the dormitory however it was to see several rolls of parchment on his bedside table, all in Remus’s fairly messy scrawl. “What’s this?” he asked.

“Notes from the classes,” Remus replied, his head half buried his trunk and his voice slightly muffled. “McGonagall got me to make copies for you.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said as he picked up his wash things and made his way to the bathroom.

He half expected Remus to try to talk to him again, to try to apologise to him again, but the other boy kept him at a distance for the rest of the evening.

The next morning Sirius went down to breakfast alone. Peter was still in bed and James and Remus had already gone down to Quidditch practice.

He saw Benjy waving at him from the Slytherin table and went to sit next to him.

“Where do you think you’re sitting?” a sour-faced girl asked as Sirius slid onto the bench.

“I invited him,” Benjy said around a mouthful of toast. “Got a problem?”

“No,” the girl hurriedly assured him, edging down the table and away from the two of them. A moment later Rita Skeeter took her place.

“Rita, there’s a whole table here to sit at, why do you have to sit there?” Benjy asked with a sigh of annoyance.

“Why not?” Rita replied before turning to Sirius. “Hi, Sirius. It’s nice to see you embracing my idea of inter-house relations.”

“Huh?”

“My article in the last newsletter,” Rita explained. “All about the students from different houses getting along together. I don’t know about you, but I find a lot of animosity from the students from other houses when I try to persuade people to write for my newsletter.”

“Wonder why?” Benjy whispered to Sirius, who snickered in response.

“You can scoff,” Rita told him with a haughty sniff. “The Hufflepuffs like the idea of everyone getting along better.”

“Hufflepuff’s full of idiots,” Benjy replied with another laugh. Sirius laughed along with him, even as he felt a guilty twinge when he recalled that Romulus had been in Hufflepuff, and he didn’t think anyone could ever describe him as an idiot.

Across the room, he could see Remus, James and the rest of the Quidditch team approaching the Gryffindor table. He saw Remus scanning the table, probably looking for him, but he didn’t call out or try to get his attention. From his seat at the Slytherin table he could see Charlene sitting down next to Remus, and he watched them laughing and joking together.

Trying to look at the two of them objectively wasn’t easy for Sirius, but he could grudgingly admit to himself that Remus and Charlene were quite a nice looking couple when seen together. He didn’t know what they had in common besides Quidditch, but they certainly seemed to be doing a lot of laughing and joking right now.

“Friends of yours?” Benjy asked, pointing across the tables towards the Quidditch team.

“Oh, that’s Remus, the werewolf,” Rita whispered loudly.

“Yeah, I know who he is,” Benjy replied with a roll of his eyes at Sirius. “Thanks to your newsletter the whole bloody school knows who he is…whether they want to or not.”

Rita looked a little put out and turned back to her breakfast.

“So, are they friends of yours?” Benjy asked again.

Sirius nodded. “Some of them are. It’s the Quidditch team.”

The talk then turned to Quidditch generally; it wasn’t Sirius’s favourite subject, but there were enough other people joining in the discussion that he could listen while only half paying attention. Which, of course, enabled him to keep the rest of his attention on Remus and Charlene.

“You fancy Charlie then?” Benjy whispered as they stood up to go to their respective classes.

“What?” Sirius asked, nearly dropping his bag as he climbed over the bench.

“Couldn’t take your eyes off her,” Benjy replied. “Can’t say I blame you, she’s quite a looker. I dated her older sister for a few months last year.”

“I didn’t know she had a sister.”

“She was in the year above me, left last year,” Benjy explained. “Well, old Sluggie awaits. I think I might put in an appearance today; what do you say?”

Sirius grinned. “Well, I wouldn’t recommend cutting classes two days running,” he said. “I got a week of detention from McGonagall.”

“That’s not too bad. Sluggie noticed me and Phil were missing from his afternoon class, too.”

“You get a detention?”

“Nah. We’re both in the Slug Club. He thought it was amusing, especially when we gave him those crystallised pineapple chunks.”

Sirius smiled. “Next time I’ll have to get some shortbread for Professor McGonagall,” he suggested.

“Minnie?” Benjy laughed loudly. “No one can bribe her. You’re lucky you only got a week of detention.”

“Plus extra homework,” Sirius added.

“Even so, you got off lightly, mate. Last time she caught me sneaking back in I was in detention for a month.”

“Well, I’m heading this way,” Sirius said, pointing out the front doors of the castle. “Care of Magical Creatures.”

Benjy looked out at the pouring rain and grimaced. “Poor you,” he said as he turned towards the stairs down into the dungeons. “See you around.”

“Yeah,” Sirius called back. “See you.”

Sirius hovered in the doorway as he looked at the driving rain outside.

“Sirius?”

Sirius turned round to see Remus standing just behind him.

“Planning on going to class today?” he asked.

Sirius nodded and stepped outside.

“Sirius, how long are you going to keep this up?” Remus asked as he walked alongside him.

“I’m not doing anything,” Sirius replied, keeping his eyes on the ground as he tried to avoid the muddiest parts of the pathway.

“Why were you sitting at the Slytherin table this morning?”

“Didn’t think you’d noticed.”

“Red and gold in the middle of all that green and silver, you were pretty hard to miss.”

“I guess you didn’t want to let go of your girlfriend’s hand long enough to give me a wave hello,” Sirius commented.

“I wasn’t the one sitting at the Slytherin table this morning,” Remus pointed out. “That was you.”

“I’ll sit with who I want!”

“But Benjy Fenwick!” Remus exclaimed. “He’s bad news. Charlie told me he used to date her sister, he cheated on her with some girl from the Ravenclaw Quidditch team.”

“So?” Sirius asked. He was horribly tempted to point out that Remus was hardly one to talk about cheating on girlfriends, but he held his tongue.

“So?” Remus echoed. “So, he’s bad news. You don’t want to be hanging around with him.”

“It’s not like I’m dating him,” Sirius muttered. “He’s just a mate. He’s fun to be with.”

“More fun than your real friends?” Remus asked.

“Right now? Yeah, a lot more,” Sirius snapped as he turned on Remus. “You want to be careful, you’re sounding jealous. I might get the wrong idea and think maybe you do have feelings for me after all.”

Sirius turned away to continue down the path, with every intention of stalking away with his usual grace. Unfortunately, the slippery mud of the path had other ideas and Sirius found himself flat on his back in the middle of a spectacularly large and muddy puddle of water.

“Great,” he muttered as he sat up. He glanced to his side and saw Remus was trying his best not to laugh. “Think that’s amusing?” he asked.

Remus shook his head, his hand rising to try to conceal his laughter.

“Let’s see if you find this funny,” said Sirius, right before he reached out to grab Remus’s ankle and yanked him down into the mud, too.

Remus landed beside him in the muddy puddle with a squawk of shock as the cold water seeped through his cloak and trousers. He looked at Sirius for a few seconds before he splashed some of the water at him. Sirius smirked and retaliated immediately. In no time at all they were rolling around in the mud, laughing and squealing as they each tried to evade the muddy missiles that the other was throwing.

Finally, they lay exhausted on the path, heedless of the other students passing them by on the way to the class. They did take more notice when Professor Kettleburn hobbled towards them, tutting and muttering under his breath.

“We fell over,” Remus explained.

“So I see,” Professor Kettleburn replied. “You’d better go get cleaned up. I’ll have one of your classmates write the homework down for you.”

Sirius nodded as he struggled to his feet, slipping only once as he stood up. Remus didn’t do much better, stumbling to his knees before he’d even truly got to his feet.

“And use the showers at the Quidditch pitch!” Professor Kettleburn called after them. “Mr Filch won’t like you traipsing mud through the whole castle.”

Remus nodded and they turned in the direction of the showers.

“I really am sorry,” Remus said as they walked down the path. “I shouldn’t have misled you like that.”

Sirius nodded. “I guess I could have been more understanding about how bad the full moons are for you.”

“Friends again?” Remus asked, holding out his muddy hand hesitantly.

Sirius gave a small smile and took the hand in his own. “Friends.”

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius tried his best to be happy for Remus and his new girlfriend, as well as trying his best not to be jealous whenever he saw them together. It wasn’t easy, especially since Remus, as excited as any boy was over his first girlfriend, wanted to talk to his best friend about her.

Remus could tell that Sirius was making an effort, but he still tried not to bring Charlene into the conversation too much. It was the least he could do, as Romulus reminded him at least once a week.

Remus enjoyed spending time with Charlene, and soon realised that when they were together students who had previously avoided the resident werewolf were more willing to approach him. At times he could almost believe that he was normal…almost.

The O.W.L.s were approaching though, and none of the fifth years really had time to be goofing off every evening. They were hitting the books almost as diligently as the N.E.W.T. students were. At least everyone was except for Sirius.

“Have you done your Herbology report?” Remus asked.

“Not yet,” Sirius replied, from where he was sitting at the window, blowing smoke rings out into the balmy evening air.

“It’s due tomorrow,” Remus pointed out. “You were late handing in Flitwick’s essay yesterday, too.”

“I’ll do it later,” Sirius said. He flicked some ash out of the window and leaned back to look up at the sky.

“I thought you ran out of fags last week?” Remus queried.

“Went to get some more,” Sirius replied in a low tone that no one else in the common room could hear.

“I wish you wouldn’t smoke.”

Sirius shrugged as he took another drag.

“It’s a horrible habit,” Remus pressed on. “And right here in the common room… McGonagall will skin you alive if she sees you.”

“She won’t,” Sirius replied calmly. “She hardly ever comes in here; you know that. Anyway, she’s supervising Benjy’s detention at the moment.”

“What did he do this time?”

“Dunno.”

“I wish you weren’t friends with him,” Remus said.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius muttered. “He’s trouble. He’s bad news. He’s a bad influence. Change the record, Remus. Just because you’re not my only friend any more…”

“I’m not saying you can’t have other friends.”

“That’s what it sounds like. Besides, who else am I supposed to hang around with when you’re off with Charlie?”

“James and Peter.”

“They don’t want me hanging round all the time.”

“Then someone else.”

“Benjy is someone else.”

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

“I’m Sirius Black,” Sirius replied. “My mother tells me that all the time.”

“Have you heard from her yet?” Remus asked.

“Got another letter the day before yesterday,” Sirius replied. “The usual rubbish. Be nice to the pureblood Slytherins and try not to shame the family name any more than you already have. She likes Benjy though. She was practically gushing when I wrote and told her he had an older sister. She wasn’t as enthusiastic when I told her she was a shop assistant, but her blood is pure, which can make up for a whole lot of other sins.”

“You don’t fancy her though, do you?” Remus asked.

“’Course not.” Sirius looked across the room to check no one was in earshot. “She’s a girl.”

“You don’t fancy Benjy, do you?” Remus looked up at Sirius as he waited for the answer. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the idea of Sirius fancying someone like Benjy, or anyone else at all for that matter. He told himself he wasn’t jealous, he was with Charlie after all, he was just looking out for his friend. “Well, do you?”

Sirius turned from the window and looked down at Remus. He smiled slowly. “He’s straight.”

“That’s not what I asked. Besides, so am I, that didn’t stop you fancying me.”

“Remus, keep your voice down,” Sirius hissed.

Remus glanced nervously behind him, but no one was paying them any attention. “Sorry. But my point still stands.”

“I don’t fancy him, not really,” Sirius replied. “He’s fun to hang out with, that’s all.”

Remus nodded and turned back to his essay. Sirius turned back to the window and tossed the butt of his cigarette out the window. Then he climbed down from the ledge and leaned over to whisper into Remus’s ear. “If I kissed Benjy, he’d hex me into the middle of next week… that’s because he’s straight. Unlike someone else I could mention who kissed me right back, and quite enthusiastically if I recall correctly.”

Remus gripped his quill tighter, but didn’t look up at Sirius.

“Don’t ask questions that you don’t want to know the answer to,” Sirius whispered. “You know who I fancy, you don’t need me to tell you again.”

Remus flushed as he turned to face Sirius.

“Lucky for you we’re in a crowded common room,” Sirius continued. “Or else I might be tempted to test if my recollections are correct.”

Remus could barely breathe as Sirius stepped away and headed up to the dormitory. He knew Sirius was waiting for him to follow him upstairs. He knew that if he did, Sirius would kiss him again. If he was honest with himself, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from kissing him right back.

He looked behind him to where Charlene was sitting with a group of other girls as they tested each other with questions from previous O.W.L. exam papers. It wasn’t that Charlene was a bad kisser, or that he didn’t enjoy kissing her. They had locked lips on numerous occasions during the last couple of months, and each time he had liked it just as much as the first time.

He ran his quill over his lips as he thought back to the kisses he had shared with Sirius, most specifically, the one which had ended with them lying on top of the bed covers, half undressed and gasping for breath.

Charlene’s kisses never left him out of breath, nor did they involve anything like hands sliding under clothes or lying on a bed with their legs tangled together.

Remus wondered what it meant when he enjoyed kissing his best friend more than his girlfriend.

“Hey, Remus, can you come and test us, please?” Charlene called from across the room.

Remus nodded and pushed thoughts of heated kisses from his mind. He packed his things away and joined the girls in front of the fireplace.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius hadn’t really expected Remus to follow him up the stairs, but a small part of him had still hoped that he would.

When it became obvious that Remus wasn’t joining him, he reluctantly pulled out his textbooks and made a start on the homework. He wasn’t giving it his full attention though, and he knew he would be lucky to scrape even an Acceptable on it. Professor McGonagall had already spoken to him about his grades the week before; she had been far from happy at the way the standard of his work had gone downhill in recent weeks. She had wanted an explanation, but Sirius had been unable to give her one. Eventually, she had shooed him from her office, warning him that if he didn’t buck his ideas up, he might find himself re-sitting his O.W.L.s the following term.

He tried to care and thoughts of what his parents would say had persuaded him to knuckle down for a day or two, but he had too much on his mind to concentrate on school work for long.

The recent full moons hadn’t been as bad as he’d expected them to be, although the lingering tension between the two of them had made them less easy than they had been before Remus’s birthday.

He was sure that Remus was in denial over how he felt about him. He couldn’t believe that he could have kissed him back so passionately and enthusiastically if he didn’t have any feelings for him. Remus was just confused, as he himself had been the previous year. He just had to be patient and wait for Remus to come to the same realisation he had. He would just find it so much easier to be patient if he didn’t have to see Remus and Charlene feeding each other desserts at the dinner table, or snuggling in front of the fireplace, even when it was unlit.

He scribbled a hasty conclusion to his essay and tossed it into his bag, ready for the morning.

It was clear that Remus wasn’t coming upstairs, and eventually Sirius made his way slowly down to the common room to see if he was still there; he was about three steps from the bottom when he saw him. He was pointing his wand at the empty bowl that normally held a selection of fruit for the students to eat if they were peckish. Some joker was trying to juggle two of the oranges and an apple, but Sirius’s attention was focused on Remus. Charlene was standing behind him, her right arm running alongside his own and her hand wrapped around his.

“A little less swish,” Charlene was saying, guiding Remus’s hand to demonstrate the movement.

Sirius felt a familiar pang of jealousy at the sight, a reaction that was only compounded by hearing Remus laugh as he asked her to show him again. From the laughter of the other girls and Charlene’s blush, it was obviously he had already had at least one demonstration and was simply asking for another in order to be closer to his girlfriend.

Sirius couldn’t watch any more, and he turned to quietly make his way back up the stairs.

-o-xXx-o-

The exams passed in a bit of a blur for both Sirius and Remus. Sirius was too busy mulling over his feelings for Remus to concentrate fully. Remus, meanwhile, was buried in books for the last few weeks, cramming as much as he could as he prayed that he was keeping up with the rest of the class who had had such a large head start in their studies.

“You think you did okay?” Remus asked as they relaxed beside the lake on the final week of term.

“No idea.”

“I’m sure you passed them all.”

“Failed Potions,” Sirius muttered. “Blowing up a cauldron in the practical has got to be automatic failure. How about you?”

“I think I did okay, doubt I’ll get any O’s though. Maybe a couple of E’s in Astronomy and Defence.”

“You’ll do okay.”

“Sirius?”

“Hmm?”

“Did your mother ever say one way or another if I could visit during the summer?”

Sirius frowned as he realised he’d completely forgotten to tell Remus about the letter that had arrived on the morning of their argument. Remus, taking his frown as a definite no, assured him that he wasn’t too disappointed.

Sirius waved a hand to cut him off. “No, I forgot to tell you. It was ages ago. She wrote back and said yes.”

“She did?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. The letter arrived… er… that morning.”

Remus nodded; neither of them needed to say anything to clarify when ‘that morning’ was. “So, it’s okay with your mother?”

Sirius nodded.

“Is it okay with you though?” Remus asked quietly.

“Of course it is,” Sirius exclaimed. “We’ll just come back to Hogsmeade for the full moons. It’ll be great!”

“Will it?” Remus asked hesitantly. “Do you really want me there?”

Sirius sat up on his elbows and looked at Remus. “Remus, you know how I feel about you; why would you think I wouldn’t want to spend every minute I could with you?”

“It won’t change anything though.”

“It might help us get our friendship back on track,” Sirius said quietly, admitting aloud for the first time what they had both known for quite some time… that their friendship hadn’t entirely recovered from the hurtful things they had said to each other.

Remus nodded thoughtfully. “We’re going to be okay, aren’t we?”

Sirius shifted closer and hooked his arm around Remus’s shoulder. Remus made to shrug him off, but Sirius kept a tight grip on him. “We will be when you stop doing that,” he said. “You never used to shy away from my touch.”

“I didn’t know you were thinking of me… you know… like that, when you touched me before.”

“I wasn’t always thinking of you like that,” Sirius told him irritably. “That only happened later.”

Remus pulled up his knees so that he could rest his chin on them. “I’ll try not to let you touching me bother me,” he said. Privately he knew that it wouldn’t be too difficult to keep his word, he liked the feeling of Sirius’s arm around his shoulders and was already leaning in towards him.

Remus was sure that after they had spent some time together during the summer, just the two of them, things would go back to how they had been before.

Sirius meanwhile, cherished the feeling of sitting with his arm around Remus and wondered how he could use their summer together to convince Remus to come to terms with the attraction he was sure they were both feeling for each other.

He had no idea how he was going to go about it, but he was nothing, if not determined.