A Heart So Ravenous (Sequel to A Love So Belated)
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
44
Views:
36,881
Reviews:
326
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
44
Views:
36,881
Reviews:
326
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 38: To Love Thine Enemy
Chapter Number/Total: 38/44
Chapter Title: To Love Thine Enemy
Words: 2122 Words
Harry wondered if he was completely mad for agreeing to come with Narcissa, especially when they actually arrived at the freezing island that held Azkaban prison. He had almost backed out of it. Not only was he somewhat nervous about seeing Draco's father, he hadn't wanted to leave Corvus and Caelum. He trusted Ron and Hermione to watch them, but he hadn't been away from the twins since they'd been given to him in St Mungo's.
It was daylight out, but so grey. Harry wondered if it was always grey there. It didn't feel like it was possible for it to get any brighter. Narcissa actually took his arm, and Harry thought it was probably to challenge the few guards that were looking at them strangely.
The one good thought in Harry's head was, at least there aren't any Dementors. That would have just been the icing on the cake.
He watched curiously – but without surprise – as Narcissa gave a bag stuffed with Galleons to the guard leading them along. So that was how Lucius got such frequent letters and visits. Of course.
He began to feel the nerves kick in as they walked, getting closer and closer to their destination, and his heart was beating rather fast when they finally reached it. The guard quickly unlocked the door. "Inside," he said, glancing about.
Harry took a deep breath before following Narcissa and the guard. He stepped to the side and stood against the wall immediately as Narcissa crossed quickly to her husband, who was sitting chained to a chair. She waited impatiently for the guard to unlock him, which Harry felt a little apprehensive about, and then embraced him tightly.
Lucius brought his arms around her as well, and when they kissed, Harry felt rather uncomfortable watching, so he looked away.
When Lucius spoke, his voice sounded croaky to Harry, but the low and dangerous undertones were still there. "What is going on with my son, Narcissa?" he demanded, apparently having not noticed Harry at all.
But he did when Narcissa glanced over her shoulder at Harry.
Lucius' eyes bulged as they met Harry's own. His lips curled to show his teeth, and he let loose a strange sound almost like a snarl. "What is he doing here?" he hissed.
"Lucius," said Narcissa sharply, stepping in front of Harry as though Lucius might try to pounce on him. "I asked him to come."
Lucius' expression did not change.
"Mr Malfoy," Harry chanced, taking a single step forward and setting his jaw. He was glad when his voice sounded like his own. "I honestly had figured my being here would upset you. But that's not the intention."
"I don't know how you have the nerve to speak to me!" Lucius shouted.
Harry's eyes narrowed and his anger flared, a number of cutting remarks coming to mind, but he held them back.
"Lucius, it would be nice to actually be able to talk," said Narcissa. "I am not asking you for the world. Only to put your anger aside for a half hour at least. Your son is lying in a coma in St Mungo's. If not for me, do this for him."
Lucius turned eyes on her now. "What do you want me to say, Narcissa?" he asked, still in hissing tones.
"I want you to listen," she said, eyes hard. "I know, above all people, how hard this is for you, but please, Lucius. I am honestly asking."
Lucius didn't look like he wanted to listen to anything, but he sat quietly, still glaring.
Narcissa looked at Harry, and nodded.
Harry took another deep breath, stepping forward again as he reached into his robes. He pulled out a photo of the twins that he had taken a few days ago. "Mine and Draco's sons," he said quietly, showing the picture, "and your grandsons."
"Our grandchildren," said Narcissa. "Draco's children. They are here, they are real, as I told you in that letter."
Lucius' nostrils flared with some strange emotion that was not quite anger, but definitely not happiness, either. "You are telling me this is true then," he said, looking up at his wife.
"I already have," she answered. "And yes."
Lucius shook his head. "My son? My son gave birth?" The same strange emotion on his face was in his voice.
"Yes, he did," said Narcissa. "And nearly gave his life for it."
"Why?" Lucius spat. "Why would he use his body for that? For him?" He glared up at Harry, and Harry glared back, taking the picture away.
Narcissa drew herself up, looking down her nose at her husband. "Would you like me to tell you why he did it?" she asked quietly, but angry now. "He did it because he wanted a family. Harry wanted one too, and he did it for him as well, but Draco wanted a family. He wanted children with the person he loves. As much as you detest that, Draco is in love with Harry. I have seen it, I accept it, and it is good for him. In all his life I have never seen him so happy, so true to himself."
Lucius looked scandalised.
"And do you know why else he invented that potion? Do you know why else he wanted to make those two beautiful little boys?" Narcissa continued, her voice dropping lower and lower as her anger rose. "He did it to please us. To make us happy, because we couldn't bear to have the name die. He could not leave Harry, so he found a way to please all those he loves. So before you go making assumptions as to why Draco gave birth, think."
Lucius sat stone still, glaring at her.
"I would take the blame," Harry said quietly, looking down at the picture of the twins himself now. "Draco did it for all those reasons, but he did do it for me. He wanted to make me happy. I – I didn't know he was going to do it. I would've never let him if I'd known, but ... I wouldn't trade our children for anything. It's a very conflicted way to feel." He felt his eyes sting and paused for a moment. He would not cry in front of Lucius Malfoy. "I suppose what I'm trying to say is ... please don't blame Draco for any of it. If you're going to blame, do blame me."
"I blame my son for his idiocy!" Lucius shouted, his voice strangely hoarse. He dropped his face into his hand. "'Ill' you said," Lucius went on to Narcissa, nearly whispering. "You told me he was ill. Why did you not tell me the truth? Why did you not tell me how serious it was? Now I am learning I might never speak to my son again. That I might never see him as I've known him, ever again."
Narcissa's eyes teared up. "You know why, Lucius," she whispered.
Harry stood by silently, watching them.
Lucius was silent as well, his face still in his hand, and the room was quiet for several moments. "It is only one more secret that has been kept from me," he said finally. "I am his father. Why has all of this been hidden? Even this new article. The one from a few days ago. Draco, a spy?"
"Once again ..." said Narcissa, "you know why. And as to that, he hardly told anyone. What would you have said to him? I know the exact words that would have come flying out of your mouth."
Lucius looked up at her.
"You would have been angry at him. You would have yelled at him for risking all our lives, for being thoughtless. You would have yelled at him for defying you, even when you no longer held true loyalty to the Dark Lord yourself. You would have been angry because he went against your side, even if we all should have stopped fighting for Him a long time ago! You would have yelled at him regardless, because you can hardly handle the fact that you cannot control your son and what he does!"
"I do not wish to control him!" Lucius protested, face reddening.
"Oh, you cannot lie to me, Lucius," said Narcissa. "That's all you ever wanted to do. To mould him to your likeness. He is Draco. He is not you!"
Lucius clenched his teeth.
"Do you forget that I was there when you complained about your own father doing the exact same thing?" Narcissa asked, eyes narrowing. "You have become him."
Lucius scowled. "I am not nearly as bad as my father was," he hissed.
"I know," Narcissa agreed. "You are worse."
Lucius' eyes narrowed as well. "If you have come here to tell me I have not done my best to raise my son-"
"I am not saying that," Narcissa cut in. "I know you have. I know you love him, and he knows it. But, Lucius, he wasn't sure of it. Your son was not sure if you loved him. And after that first letter you sent, can you blame him?"
Lucius didn't say anything, but he frowned instead of scowling.
"Listen to yourself," Narcissa continued. "I know you are worried about him, but if he had made it through the birth completely healthy, you would be nothing but angry. You are angry. You're angry because he has chosen a man, but with children to carry on the line now, what is there to be angry for? You are angry because it embarrasses you? Makes you uncomfortable? Then I am ashamed of your selfishness."
Lucius shook his head. "You accept it?" he said, eyes boring into Narcissa's. "You accept he is with," he glanced at Harry, "Potter?"
"I have already told you that I do," Narcissa answered coolly. "And I am utterly in love with their children." She reached and took the photo from Harry again. "Look," she said. "Look at them." She pointed. "This is Corvus. He is absolutely as feisty as Draco was when he was that small, and he is the spitting image of him with dark hair. And Caelum. He is so sweet, but can be just as loud and impatient as his brother. And look at his hair. That's Draco's hair. Your hair. They are your blood, Lucius. Your grandchildren."
Lucius looked at Harry again. "They are his children," he said.
"And there you go again," said Narcissa. "You can't even look past it for a single moment."
Lucius clenched his teeth again. "He is a half-blood," he said through them.
Narcissa took quite a deep breath, drawing herself up again. "So what," she said. "He is human, isn't he?"
Lucius' eyes widened.
Even Harry's eyes widened a little.
"What?" Lucius said, obviously very shocked.
"You heard me," said Narcissa firmly. "He is perhaps a bit ... crass, but I find him to be quite enjoyable. In fact," she took yet another deep breath, "I find that his blood doesn't matter very much at all. I suppose it would have been nice to say that the Malfoys have been pure wizards throughout the entire line, but I can do without that. I have even ... been living with that mud – Muggle-born girl for several days now. She's quite clever, even if she is a little strange about house-elves."
Lucius' eyes were beyond wide now.
Narcissa sighed. "I just want you to accept your son," she said. "Because he is not leaving Harry. I know him, and I know what they have is serious. They have children, those children are a part of you whether you like it or not. I wish you would accept them as well. They are Draco's heirs."
Lucius seemed speechless, but finally did speak after he stared for a few moments. "What?" he said. "I should accept all of this into my life just like that? Forget about everything, just like that?"
"Yes," said Narcissa, "but I know you won't. But you will think about it. I know that much."
Lucius shook his head at her as if he thought her slightly mad. Perhaps he did.
"Harry was willing to come here to try and talk, but I can see you're not quite ready for that yet," she said.
Lucius' eyes flashed.
"The only thing I really want is for you to be there for Draco, even if – right now – you don't agree with the things he has done. When he wakes up, he is still going to need his father."
Lucius looked at her seriously and she stared back at him. He glanced down at the picture of the twins but then quickly back up, haughtily. "He does have a top Healer in the field of lasting damage?"
Narcissa smiled, just barely, and nodded.
Chapter Title: To Love Thine Enemy
Words: 2122 Words
Harry wondered if he was completely mad for agreeing to come with Narcissa, especially when they actually arrived at the freezing island that held Azkaban prison. He had almost backed out of it. Not only was he somewhat nervous about seeing Draco's father, he hadn't wanted to leave Corvus and Caelum. He trusted Ron and Hermione to watch them, but he hadn't been away from the twins since they'd been given to him in St Mungo's.
It was daylight out, but so grey. Harry wondered if it was always grey there. It didn't feel like it was possible for it to get any brighter. Narcissa actually took his arm, and Harry thought it was probably to challenge the few guards that were looking at them strangely.
The one good thought in Harry's head was, at least there aren't any Dementors. That would have just been the icing on the cake.
He watched curiously – but without surprise – as Narcissa gave a bag stuffed with Galleons to the guard leading them along. So that was how Lucius got such frequent letters and visits. Of course.
He began to feel the nerves kick in as they walked, getting closer and closer to their destination, and his heart was beating rather fast when they finally reached it. The guard quickly unlocked the door. "Inside," he said, glancing about.
Harry took a deep breath before following Narcissa and the guard. He stepped to the side and stood against the wall immediately as Narcissa crossed quickly to her husband, who was sitting chained to a chair. She waited impatiently for the guard to unlock him, which Harry felt a little apprehensive about, and then embraced him tightly.
Lucius brought his arms around her as well, and when they kissed, Harry felt rather uncomfortable watching, so he looked away.
When Lucius spoke, his voice sounded croaky to Harry, but the low and dangerous undertones were still there. "What is going on with my son, Narcissa?" he demanded, apparently having not noticed Harry at all.
But he did when Narcissa glanced over her shoulder at Harry.
Lucius' eyes bulged as they met Harry's own. His lips curled to show his teeth, and he let loose a strange sound almost like a snarl. "What is he doing here?" he hissed.
"Lucius," said Narcissa sharply, stepping in front of Harry as though Lucius might try to pounce on him. "I asked him to come."
Lucius' expression did not change.
"Mr Malfoy," Harry chanced, taking a single step forward and setting his jaw. He was glad when his voice sounded like his own. "I honestly had figured my being here would upset you. But that's not the intention."
"I don't know how you have the nerve to speak to me!" Lucius shouted.
Harry's eyes narrowed and his anger flared, a number of cutting remarks coming to mind, but he held them back.
"Lucius, it would be nice to actually be able to talk," said Narcissa. "I am not asking you for the world. Only to put your anger aside for a half hour at least. Your son is lying in a coma in St Mungo's. If not for me, do this for him."
Lucius turned eyes on her now. "What do you want me to say, Narcissa?" he asked, still in hissing tones.
"I want you to listen," she said, eyes hard. "I know, above all people, how hard this is for you, but please, Lucius. I am honestly asking."
Lucius didn't look like he wanted to listen to anything, but he sat quietly, still glaring.
Narcissa looked at Harry, and nodded.
Harry took another deep breath, stepping forward again as he reached into his robes. He pulled out a photo of the twins that he had taken a few days ago. "Mine and Draco's sons," he said quietly, showing the picture, "and your grandsons."
"Our grandchildren," said Narcissa. "Draco's children. They are here, they are real, as I told you in that letter."
Lucius' nostrils flared with some strange emotion that was not quite anger, but definitely not happiness, either. "You are telling me this is true then," he said, looking up at his wife.
"I already have," she answered. "And yes."
Lucius shook his head. "My son? My son gave birth?" The same strange emotion on his face was in his voice.
"Yes, he did," said Narcissa. "And nearly gave his life for it."
"Why?" Lucius spat. "Why would he use his body for that? For him?" He glared up at Harry, and Harry glared back, taking the picture away.
Narcissa drew herself up, looking down her nose at her husband. "Would you like me to tell you why he did it?" she asked quietly, but angry now. "He did it because he wanted a family. Harry wanted one too, and he did it for him as well, but Draco wanted a family. He wanted children with the person he loves. As much as you detest that, Draco is in love with Harry. I have seen it, I accept it, and it is good for him. In all his life I have never seen him so happy, so true to himself."
Lucius looked scandalised.
"And do you know why else he invented that potion? Do you know why else he wanted to make those two beautiful little boys?" Narcissa continued, her voice dropping lower and lower as her anger rose. "He did it to please us. To make us happy, because we couldn't bear to have the name die. He could not leave Harry, so he found a way to please all those he loves. So before you go making assumptions as to why Draco gave birth, think."
Lucius sat stone still, glaring at her.
"I would take the blame," Harry said quietly, looking down at the picture of the twins himself now. "Draco did it for all those reasons, but he did do it for me. He wanted to make me happy. I – I didn't know he was going to do it. I would've never let him if I'd known, but ... I wouldn't trade our children for anything. It's a very conflicted way to feel." He felt his eyes sting and paused for a moment. He would not cry in front of Lucius Malfoy. "I suppose what I'm trying to say is ... please don't blame Draco for any of it. If you're going to blame, do blame me."
"I blame my son for his idiocy!" Lucius shouted, his voice strangely hoarse. He dropped his face into his hand. "'Ill' you said," Lucius went on to Narcissa, nearly whispering. "You told me he was ill. Why did you not tell me the truth? Why did you not tell me how serious it was? Now I am learning I might never speak to my son again. That I might never see him as I've known him, ever again."
Narcissa's eyes teared up. "You know why, Lucius," she whispered.
Harry stood by silently, watching them.
Lucius was silent as well, his face still in his hand, and the room was quiet for several moments. "It is only one more secret that has been kept from me," he said finally. "I am his father. Why has all of this been hidden? Even this new article. The one from a few days ago. Draco, a spy?"
"Once again ..." said Narcissa, "you know why. And as to that, he hardly told anyone. What would you have said to him? I know the exact words that would have come flying out of your mouth."
Lucius looked up at her.
"You would have been angry at him. You would have yelled at him for risking all our lives, for being thoughtless. You would have yelled at him for defying you, even when you no longer held true loyalty to the Dark Lord yourself. You would have been angry because he went against your side, even if we all should have stopped fighting for Him a long time ago! You would have yelled at him regardless, because you can hardly handle the fact that you cannot control your son and what he does!"
"I do not wish to control him!" Lucius protested, face reddening.
"Oh, you cannot lie to me, Lucius," said Narcissa. "That's all you ever wanted to do. To mould him to your likeness. He is Draco. He is not you!"
Lucius clenched his teeth.
"Do you forget that I was there when you complained about your own father doing the exact same thing?" Narcissa asked, eyes narrowing. "You have become him."
Lucius scowled. "I am not nearly as bad as my father was," he hissed.
"I know," Narcissa agreed. "You are worse."
Lucius' eyes narrowed as well. "If you have come here to tell me I have not done my best to raise my son-"
"I am not saying that," Narcissa cut in. "I know you have. I know you love him, and he knows it. But, Lucius, he wasn't sure of it. Your son was not sure if you loved him. And after that first letter you sent, can you blame him?"
Lucius didn't say anything, but he frowned instead of scowling.
"Listen to yourself," Narcissa continued. "I know you are worried about him, but if he had made it through the birth completely healthy, you would be nothing but angry. You are angry. You're angry because he has chosen a man, but with children to carry on the line now, what is there to be angry for? You are angry because it embarrasses you? Makes you uncomfortable? Then I am ashamed of your selfishness."
Lucius shook his head. "You accept it?" he said, eyes boring into Narcissa's. "You accept he is with," he glanced at Harry, "Potter?"
"I have already told you that I do," Narcissa answered coolly. "And I am utterly in love with their children." She reached and took the photo from Harry again. "Look," she said. "Look at them." She pointed. "This is Corvus. He is absolutely as feisty as Draco was when he was that small, and he is the spitting image of him with dark hair. And Caelum. He is so sweet, but can be just as loud and impatient as his brother. And look at his hair. That's Draco's hair. Your hair. They are your blood, Lucius. Your grandchildren."
Lucius looked at Harry again. "They are his children," he said.
"And there you go again," said Narcissa. "You can't even look past it for a single moment."
Lucius clenched his teeth again. "He is a half-blood," he said through them.
Narcissa took quite a deep breath, drawing herself up again. "So what," she said. "He is human, isn't he?"
Lucius' eyes widened.
Even Harry's eyes widened a little.
"What?" Lucius said, obviously very shocked.
"You heard me," said Narcissa firmly. "He is perhaps a bit ... crass, but I find him to be quite enjoyable. In fact," she took yet another deep breath, "I find that his blood doesn't matter very much at all. I suppose it would have been nice to say that the Malfoys have been pure wizards throughout the entire line, but I can do without that. I have even ... been living with that mud – Muggle-born girl for several days now. She's quite clever, even if she is a little strange about house-elves."
Lucius' eyes were beyond wide now.
Narcissa sighed. "I just want you to accept your son," she said. "Because he is not leaving Harry. I know him, and I know what they have is serious. They have children, those children are a part of you whether you like it or not. I wish you would accept them as well. They are Draco's heirs."
Lucius seemed speechless, but finally did speak after he stared for a few moments. "What?" he said. "I should accept all of this into my life just like that? Forget about everything, just like that?"
"Yes," said Narcissa, "but I know you won't. But you will think about it. I know that much."
Lucius shook his head at her as if he thought her slightly mad. Perhaps he did.
"Harry was willing to come here to try and talk, but I can see you're not quite ready for that yet," she said.
Lucius' eyes flashed.
"The only thing I really want is for you to be there for Draco, even if – right now – you don't agree with the things he has done. When he wakes up, he is still going to need his father."
Lucius looked at her seriously and she stared back at him. He glanced down at the picture of the twins but then quickly back up, haughtily. "He does have a top Healer in the field of lasting damage?"
Narcissa smiled, just barely, and nodded.