Saving your life

“Yes, Master?” he asked, bowing, as he Apparated at Headquarters, where he had been summoned only moments before.

“We have good news, Severus,” his Master said, clearly pleased. “We have found them.”

“You have, Master?” he asked, knowing full well just who he was referring to; Potter, Weasley and Hermione. “But how?” he asked.

“That is not important,” he said dismissively, and looked around the room, at the rest of the Death Eaters present. He pointed at four of them, and motioned for them to get closer, before saying, “the rest of you, out,” and then turning to Severus again. “You will leave now,” he said. “I want Potter alive; I will take care of him personally. And the girl too, I know a few of my Death Eaters who would love to get their hands on her. The other boy you can kill, and then make sure his family finds him. It will make a nice reminder of what they are up against.”

“Where are they, Master?”

“Bellatrix will tell you,” he said, and Severus turned to her, to find the usual hateful look in her face, the one she had every time she looked at him. She was probably furious at him because he had been put in charge. Not that he cared, of course.

The five of them were left alone, and he turned to the witch to ask where they were going.

“They are around this area,” she said, using a map to show them where they should go. “We will be able to track them once we are there,” she said then, in response to Severus’ raised eyebrow.

“So you don’t know exactly where they are,” he said, and then asked what he really wanted to know, “How do you know where to find them?”

“Wouldn’t you love to know,” she said, with a mocking grin.

He had been trying to track them down ever since he found out they had left, but they seemed to be using rather strong concealing and protective charms, that kept deflecting his own. Now that he knew they had been found, he couldn’t help but wonder how they had done it, and more importantly, who had. There must be a spy working for the Order, or close to one of its members.

“All right, we will Apparate there, and then split, so we can look better,” he instructed, in the hopes that he would find them first and help them get out before the others saw them. “If you find them, call for the rest before attacking, I want the three of them alive.”

“The Dark Lord said we could kill one of them,” one of the Death Eaters said.

“I know what he said,” he retorted angrily, “but I was put in charge of this, so you will do as I tell you. Keep them alive, I will take care of the boy myself.”

It only took a few more minutes to decide where exactly each of them would Apparate, and then they left.

As he reached his position, he looked around at the other figures hiding in the dark, throwing silent spells to find magic. It was an old spell, and a very useful one; if they were using magic to hide, then it would bring the Death Eaters right to them.

He had been searching for less than ten minutes when a flash of red light caught his attention, and he turned to the side to see one of the Death Eaters shooting spells and curses at a spot on the edge of the field. He could see the spells deflected, and knew they had found them. Cursing loudly and not wanting to waste a moment, he Apparated next to the Death Eater, and was soon joined by the rest of the team.

“I told you not to attack them, to let me know when they were found,” he yelled angrily, but still turned and shot his own spells at the object that was soon appearing before their eyes. It looked like some kind of Muggle tent, he realized, as the Disillusionment Charm started to break.

“Why would I let you have all the fun?” Bellatrix answered in a mock voice, and he was tempted, not for the first time, to turn around and hex her instead.

With another powerful blow, the entrance to the tent exploded, and they stepped inside. It looked like a small apartment on the inside, and it gave the ones in there many places to hide.

A curse shot from behind the table hit him, the blow breaking his arm, and he dropped his wand. As he kneeled to pick it back up, he barely missed another curse by inches. Using his other arm, he cast a protective charm around him, and then another one around whoever was behind that table, deflecting a Cruciatus curse, and giving them time to shoot back.

Taking advantage of the confusion, he stunned two of the Death Eaters that were with him, before moving around the room, trying to find Hermione a way out. It took a few moments to realize there were only two people firing back at them. He knew the one that had been hiding behind the table was the Weasley boy, since he had seen his hair when he had circled the table, and Potter’s glasses reflected some of the light from the curses, but where was Hermione? All the Death Eaters that had gone with him were still there, so he knew none of them had taken her away.

“Ron!” he heard Potter shout, and he turned around just in time to see the redhead running across the room. He cast another shield around the boy, not entirely surprised he had just started running without casting one himself, and then watched him reach his friend, something glow in their hands, and then they both vanished.

A powerful curse hit the place where they had been only seconds before, and he looked around to see Bellatrix cursing loudly and waving her wand around, making everything within reach explode. They were the only ones still standing.

“Will you just behave yourself,” he yelled at her, pretending to be angry at them escaping, but actually rather worried about Hermione.

“I can’t believe you let them get away!” she yelled back.

“I did not let them get away. You were given orders, and you disobeyed. The Dark Lord will hear about this,” he threatened, as he walked to the other Death Eaters and woke them up one by one.

“What happened?” one of them asked. “Did we get them?”

“How did they get away?” another asked, when Severus shook his head. “Didn’t you place anti-Apparition wards?”

“Yes I did!” Bellatrix yelled, defensively.

“They used a Portkey,” Severus answered, and stepped outside of what remained of the tent. “Let’s go back to headquarters. You two,” he said, pointing at the two men that were still trying to get up, “see if they left something useful behind,” And with that, he Apparated away.

“What happened, Severus?” Voldemort asked, as soon as they were alone, and he could see a flash of red cross his eyes.

“They had strong wards, my Lord. By the time we broke through them, they were ready.” He had just finished saying that, when he was hit by a silent curse, falling to the floor as his body shook uncontrollably.

“There’s always an excuse, isn’t there?” he said, once Severus stopped writhing.

“I’m sorry, Master,” he said, trying to get up. “The plan was for all of us to attack at the same time, so we would bring the wards down faster, but Bellatrix refused to wait. That is what gave them enough time.”

“They are children, Severus; Blood traitors, Half-bloods and even Mudbloods. Grown wizards should easily overpower them. Even wizards as incompetent as my Death Eaters seem to be more often that not.”

“Yes, Master,” he said, and before he could add anything else, he was hit by another Cruciatus.

“My patience is running out, Severus; we’ve been through this before,” he heard His Master’s voice in his head, even louder than his own screams. “I asked you to kill the girl, and you failed. You said you had erased her memories, which would leave her brain severely damaged, but it hasn’t. Potter and his friends left the safety of the Order, and I had to find out through someone else, even though I have a spy among them, one that should know everything that happens there. And now, I manage to find them, send five Death Eaters to retrieve three children, and you fail yet again?”

He gasped for breath when the curse was lifted, and took a few seconds before speaking. “They still don’t trust me entirely in the Order, Master, that is why they kept that information from me. And tonight,” he said, taking a deep breath as he tried to get up, “I was in charge of the mission, and take responsibility for what happened, but I ask you, my Lord, not to send Bellatrix with me again. She refuses to follow my orders, and endangers the missions, as she did tonight.”

“I will not allow any more mistakes, Severus,” he said, walking to the door and opening it. “Now leave,” he said, before waving his hand in the air, making Severus fly out of the room and hit the wall outside hard. He heard Bellatrix snicker beside him, and glared at her as he slowly got up. With a smirk, she walked inside Voldemort studio, and closed the door.

He was slowly making his way down the hallway when he heard her screams, and his Master’s cold laughter. He knew she wouldn’t get away that easily. With an evil grin on his face, he opened the door, stepped out, and Apparated to Spinner’s End.

After the night his Master had been told Hermione and her friends had left the Order, Severus had made sure to keep many healing potions at hand. He still didn’t know how Voldemort had found out they had left, but he hadn’t been tortured for so long since the night he had been ordered to kill Hermione.

It took almost an hour for all the potions to work, and he finally sighed and sat back on the sofa, the pain gone, and his mind going back to what he had seen that night. Where was she? Why hadn’t she been in the tent with her friends?

Molly’s head in the fireplace startled him. She didn’t even give him time to react; she simply asked him to Apparate to headquarters urgently and popped out without further explanation.

Well, whatever it was they needed, it certainly couldn’t be worse than everything that had happened so far that night.

As soon as she was gone, he got up, put his robes back on, and Apparated to the Order’s headquarters.

He opened the door and stepped inside, surprised to find everyone in the library, gathered around the couch.

“What’s going on?” he asked, and then saw her, lying there, her face pale, and he couldn’t even tell if she was breathing. “What happened to her?” he asked her friends, as he moved closer and pulled out his wand.

They had heard a blast? That was all the information they could give him? He was about to retort when Lupin spoke. He told Severus the usual spells hadn’t worked. Of course they hadn’t, why would they call him otherwise?

He needed potions, and a bigger room where he could at the very least move. Without even thinking, he kneeled in front of her, and lifted her up. It felt so good to have her in his arms again.

He made his way to the small infirmary and carefully laid her down on the hospital bed. He checked her pulse; it wasn’t strong. He turned around when he heard the door open behind him.

“What are you doing here?” He all but barked, as he tried a few spells to wake her up.

“We just wanted to know if we could help,” one of them answered shyly. He didn’t care who it had been.

“Out, get out!” he ordered, still managing to appear calm and in control. He heard them mumble, and then finally the door opening again.

“Potter, Weasley, you two stay,” he said, and waited for the others to leave the room before casting a Silencing Charm and turning to them. “What happened to her?” he asked, his wand still moving around her.

“We already told you, we heard a blast, and found her like this.”

“I can’t help her if I don’t know what’s happened,” he said, seeing the fear for their friend on their faces.

They stayed in silence for a few moments, so he decided to push them a little more. “Her breathing and her pulse are too weak, she doesn’t have much time. I need to know what happened.”

They looked at each other for a moment, and then Harry reached inside his robes, and retrieved a small book.

“She was holding this when we found her,” he said, looking down as he handed the book to him.

“Out,” was all he said, before turning back to her.

He waited until they were gone to look at the book, and cursed loudly when he read the title. “Stupid girl,” he muttered, as he opened it. A muttered spell showed him the last page that had been read, and he cursed even louder.

“What were you thinking?” he said, as he opened the door to the cabinet where they kept the potions. “How could you be so stupid?” He searched through the bottles, trying to find the ones he’d need, not even noticing many of them falling and crashing on the floor as he hastily pushed them aside.

He finally found the ones he was looking for, and walked to her again. With a hand behind her neck, he carefully pulled her up, sat behind her, and then rested her head on his shoulder, so that she was almost sitting too. He carefully poured the potion down her throat and felt her shake as she coughed, but with a muttered spell, she calmed again and swallowed the first one.

He gave the potion a few minutes to work before he moved on to the next one.

He knew the spell she had used, and thankfully, it took a few hours to work, but he still needed to stop it soon.

It was already dawn when he gave her the last potion and laid her back down on the hospital bed. He had been sitting there behind her for hours, and his muscles were sore. He got up and walked out of the room; she should be up in an hour or too, and he needed something to eat.

He was surprised to find the hallway full of sleeping people. It seemed as if they had fallen asleep waiting for news on Hermione’s condition. He was tempted to wake some of them up with an old, nasty curse, but after a few minute’s consideration, he decided against it.

He silently made his way to the kitchen, took a piece of cheesecake they had left on the table, and walked back to the infirmary. None of them had woken up yet; some Order members they were, not even noticing someone walk by them twice. He reconsidered cursing them awake; maybe that would teach them to sleep with one eye open.

He was bout to reach for his wand when Lupin opened his eyes.

“Severus,” he muttered, getting up, and waking up the others. Pity. “Is she all right?” he asked, completely awake now, and they all looked at him expectantly.

“She will be,” he simply answered, opening the door and stepping back inside the room. When they made to follow, he stopped them. “She will not wake up for a few more hours, and I still have to give her some potions; I will let you know when you can see her,” he said, and closed the door before they could say anything else.

He had been sitting at the small table for the last hour, reading the book Harry had given him, when he heard her move. He turned to her and slowly stood up when he saw her eyes open.

“Professor Snape?” she asked in a hoarse voice, as she tried to get up.

“Don’t,” he said firmly, and stepped closer to her. She had referred to him as Professor; that must mean she still couldn’t remember. “Take this,” he said, as he reached her. She looked at the flask he was offering for a moment, and then did as told. “Better?” he asked, and she nodded. “Good, perhaps now you can explain this,” he said, showing her the book.

She looked confused for a moment, her eyes glued to the book, as if trying to remember what it was about.

“The…the memory charm?” she asked.

“Where did you get this?”

“I don’t remember,” she answered, but he could tell she was lying.

“This is a rare book, not one you can find lying around, or in libraries. Where did you get it?”

“What does it matter?” she asked, and tried to get up.

“Don’t,” he said, ready to catch her if she fell, but she didn’t. “You tried to use this spell on yourself?” he asked, opening the book and giving it to her. She bit her lip, but didn’t answer. “I am sure you can read, Miss Granger. You must have read the entire chapter, the instructions, the effects, the warnings,” he said, and she nodded again. “This spell, as you can see, was designed to use on other people, not on the caster. Why would you ever do something as stupid as casting it on yourself?” he asked then, his anger quickly rising. When she didn’t answer, he stepped closer, and whispered, “Answer my question,” in a threatening voice.

“I needed to remember,” she said, looking at him defiantly.

“This is dark magic, it takes power and practice, what made you think you would be able to do it?” he said, knowing it would upset her.

“I have power, and skill, I don’t need to practice a spell a hundred times before I can do it right.”

“Is that so?” he asked with a sneer. “Then why did I have to come here and save your life, again? Shouldn’t you have learned your lesson by now?”

“Save my life? I’m not even sure you saved me the first time. You think I don’t know my memories were taken from me?” she asked. “Now that I think about it, how do I know it wasn’t you?” she said, taking another step closer to him. “What could I have possibly discovered that was so important? What did I know that made it necessary to make me forget over two months of my life?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Was it something about you? Maybe I discovered your true alliances, and you thought this was the best way to shut me up.”

“This spell must have made you paranoid,” he said, dismissively, and turned from her.

“That’s your defence?” she asked, and the next second he was facing her again.

“My defence? Why would I need to defend myself, and especially in front of you? I am loyal to the Order, and your stupidity almost got me killed. I warned you not to leave, and you didn’t listen. What do you think happened when the Dark Lord found out from someone else that you were gone?” he said, so close to her now he could feel the heat radiating from her body. “Who do you think was tortured for hours, for not providing the information he had been ordered to get?” He saw her flinch at his words, but that didn’t stop him. “I risk my life every day to keep you and your friends safe, and still you think I have to defend myself?” he asked, his voice lower with every question. “Where were you today?”

“What do you mean?”

“When your friends were attacked tonight, you weren’t there. Where were you?”

“That’s none of your business,” she retorted indignantly.

“You are wrong. It is my business, because I was there, because I was in charge of the attack and still had to make sure your friends made it out alive, and because I was the one that had to explain the Dark Lord why there weren’t three dead bodies in front of him. Where were you?” he asked again.

“If you don’t know yet, then there must be a good reason, don’t you think?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“When I asked for your help weeks ago, you dismissed me. All I wanted was a few answers about what had happened to me, and all you said was that I was better off that way. Now I found someone willing to answer all those questions, and you come here expecting me to tell you what you want to know? Well, I’ll just say one thing, you’re better off this way,” she said, and turned around, heading for the door.

It took him a moment to go through what she had just said, and then he was following her.

“Do you think this is a game?” he asked, placing his hand on her shoulder as he forced her to turn around just as she was reaching for the doorknob.

“Let go of me,” she said, and he saw her reach for her wand. Before she could do it, he took both her wrists and pinned her arms on either side of her head.

As he pushed her back, she hit her head against the door, and her eyes suddenly went blank. He saw her turn her head to both sides, as if looking at something that wasn’t there. Too shocked to do anything, he watched as she tilted her head, her eyes fixed somewhere over his shoulder. “What are you doing?” she asked, and he could hear the fear in her voice, but before he could answer, she shook her head, and then her eyes focused on him again. She frowned as she watched him, as if she wasn’t sure about what had just happened.

“Let go of me,” she repeated after a few seconds, trying to push him away, but he was stronger.

“What happened?” he asked, and she frowned again. “Just now, you were gone for a few moments; what happened?”

“I don’t know,” she answered slowly.

“It could be a side effect of the memory charm, it could be dangerous. I have to know what happened.”

“I just… I don’t know,” she repeated, but he knew she was lying. Were her memories coming back? Had she just seen something she had forgotten? If so, what should he do about it?

He watched her as her eyes moved to where he was holding her hands, and she tried to push him away again. Caught off guard, he stumbled back a little, but before she could get away, he had pushed her against the door again, this time his body flush against hers, keeping her still. He hadn’t done it on purpose, it had been just instinct, but now he realized he was closer to her than he had been in a long time, their lips barely an inch away.

“You said someone was giving you answers,” he said, his voice husky even though he tried to sound normal. “Who is it?” he asked, and she shook her head.

“Someone told the Dark Lord you had left headquarters; I’d been trying to find you for days unsuccessfully, and today he did it. Whoever you have been talking to, they could be spying for him. I need to know who it is.”

She was so close, it was driving him crazy. He had missed her; her body, her touch, even her stubbornness, and now she was there again, biting her lower lip nervously, making him wish he were the one nibbling on it. His gaze travelled back to her eyes, and he saw desire there; the same desire he had seen before, not so long ago. But there was also confusion; she couldn’t understand what was happening. His face inched closer, and he closed her eyes when his lips ghosted over hers, but he couldn’t do it. He had taken away her memories to make her forget, to give her a real chance to have a good life, and he wouldn’t ruin it now, not after so much effort.

With a groan, he stepped away from her, and he refused to meet her gaze.

“Your friends are waiting for you out there,” he said. “They were worried; they will want to know you are awake.”

“Why d…” she started to ask in a soft voice, but then trailed off.

“You will have to be more careful who you talk to; you are putting many people in danger. And if you or your friends even think about leaving again,” he said, his voice a little stronger, “I will find you and take you to the Dark Lord myself.”

She didn’t answer; she simply nodded, and then turned around and left the room. He took the small book, and then walked away too, not even listening to the voices thanking him for helping her.

He needed to find out where that book had come from. There weren’t many places where one could find such rare books, especially those full of Dark Magic, of spells that had been outlawed long ago. But he had to, because he knew that, by doing so, he would find the spy.