Dearest Harry - Eileen's Story

Hi everyone I am on holiday still in not so sunny Vancouver,
I really tried to finish this story before DH day but i still have at least 4-6 chapters to go. I have sent 12,000 words off to be betaed, but as everyone will be heads down reading number seven right now I am not expecting anything back for a couple of days. I am off tomorrow to a remote island with no internet so even if i do get the chapters back (which I won't cause no internet) I won't be able to post them till I get home in a little over a week. So this chapter is to keep you going till I get back.

I am not planning on reading DH till I finish this so it will not be DH compliant and will not contain any spoilers except the ones that come from my deranged mind. Happy DH day everyone

Oh just in case anyone missed it. This chapter is not betaed m'just saying! ~ Lucie

Chapter Thirty-Eight


There were many images from that night that Severus would never forget. The horrendous flames that had seemingly been everywhere. Draco hugging his ailing father and then Harry, dashing between the two of them as if he could not decide who was the most important. If Lucius had been in any doubts about how his son felt about Harry then those thoughts would have been quickly settled. Draco simply could not stop kissing and hugging Harry. It was as if he could not thank him enough even though it seemed that his heart might be breaking in two at the loss of his home and fat, wet tears were pouring down his cheeks for what seemed like hours.

Later Severus saw some of the captured Death Eaters at the Ministry and realised that they truly had struck a huge blow against Voldemort. Some of the elite were there, well those that were left anyway, held captive by several stunned looking Aurors. Death Eaters, men who had once laughed at the idea of defeat and revelled in the pain of others had been beaten by a raggle-taggle army, a number of whom were still children.

He would never forget the soot stained faces of the teenagers who had once made up Dumbledore’s Army, or the somewhat haunted look in their eyes, but these children had grown up that night, each and every one of them had proved their heroism time and time again and helped to deal Voldemort’s forces a crushing blow.

Of course the greatest hero of them all was Harry

Percy had told them over and over again that Harry should be dead or insane. He told of the hour of torture that Harry had suffered, his face too had been haunted, pale as he remembered Harry’s screams, his agony. Percy had gained an almost religious zeal when he talked about Harry he spoke about the boy with the true passion of the convert, as far as he was concerned it seemed Harry could do no wrong. His eyes shone with a fierce passion when he told everyone how wonderful he thought Harry was, how brave, how strong. And Harry being typically himself blushed whenever Percy said anything and tried desperately to avoid him for the short time that he was in Percy’s company before Severus took his nephew back to Grimmauld Place.

Molly too had taken to gushing about Harry. He had brought her lost chick back after all and he had saved her daughter - a fact she had seemed to forget all too easily only the day before, but could not seem to stop talking about now. Severus thought that Molly truly did see Harry as one of her own, she truly did love him, but whereas all of Molly’s children – perhaps with the exception of Percy himself, were cheerful and extraverted, Harry was not nearly as robust emotionally. His nephew was obviously very fond of Molly but seemed somewhat overwhelmed by her Severus decided.

Molly and Ginny had had several volatile screaming rows in the last day or so. Ginny deeply resented not being able to help the others during the Battle of Malfoy Manor as it came to be known and finally her mother crumbled. In protecting Ginny so fiercely she nearly lost Percy. It was as if Molly realised at last that she could no longer protect her daughter. That perhaps Ginny too had a destiny and that she and only she, could help to finally defeat Voldemort for good. Molly had agreed in the end, after several days of fierce argument, that Ginny could help to destroy the final Horcruxes, a task that was much easier now that they were so much closer to finding the two remaining ones, well apart from Harry himself that was.

Ollivander had been captured by Voldemort they had discovered, because the Dark Lord was seeking reassurance that a certain missing wand would indeed stay missing. The wand maker had told Severus and Kingsley that he had no idea why He Who Should Not Be Named had wanted it so desperately, but he had questioned Ollivander for hours under Veritaserum regarding its current whereabouts. Ollivander had told them cheerfully that he had no idea where the wand might be and had told Voldemort so, which had it seemed completely reassured him.

But what Voldemort had not asked Ollivander with all his hours of questioning the inscrutable man told them freely with a glint in those mysteriously milky eyes of his. He didn’t know where the wand was but he did know who would. Bill Weasley had then been dispatched to Hogwarts to seek the advise of one Grey Lady. A familiar figure to them all, but one whose importance had never been realised, it turned out, that she was in fact one of the oldest ghosts in Hogwarts, a sad figure who still mourned her lost love Salazar Slytherin, even after many hundreds of years. If anyone had ever known they had long forgotten that she was Rowena Ravenclaw and of course she knew where her wand was now.

Amelia Bones was the oldest living person in her family. Her brother Phineas Smith had been killed by Voldemort’s forces the first time that the Dark Lord had risen to power, just as he had murdered her aunt for possession of a certain artefact, a cup which had once belonged to Helga Hufflepuff.

Amelia had had the cup hidden at Hogwarts but had told nobody of its whereabouts, not even Dumbledore. Ron went with his brother to retrieve it. He had remembered seeing it one long ago detention when he had been cursed with a backfired hex which had left him vomiting slugs for hours, all over the shields and cups that he had been detailed to clean.

Why Voldemort had not tortured these two last witnesses to the whereabouts of the artefacts that contained his precious Horcruxes, Severus would never know for sure. But he thought it yet another testament to Tom Riddle’s arrogant belief in his own infalibility. Severus pondered about the possibity that Voldemort had assumed that he had plenty of time, that his Horcruxes were safe and that he had captured Ollivander and Amelia merely as some sort of insurance, to ensure that no-one else would ever find out where he had hidden his precious artifacts.

Of course that meant that perhaps Voldemort knew that some of his existing Horcruxes had been destroyed, but Severus was not going to worry about that right now.

The battle had been a damaging one for the Dark Lord in many, many ways. But he was not defeated yet.

Of all the images of that night, of all the changes that came about subsequently Eileen’s face when they returned home to Grimmauld Place after the battle, was the one that Severus would remember most. Her relief, her joy at having her grandson and indeed her son returned safely to her was almost palpable. And like the conquering hero that it seemed that Harry truly was, he stoically waited until he saw his grandmother again before he collapsed into her arms and buried his head upon her shoulder. Seeing her finally gave Harry the permission to be what he really was when all was said and done, a teenage boy, who had once again faced a monster and survived against all odds.

When he returned home, Harry slept once more, exhausted both physically and magically. And whilst he did, the world moved on just a little bit. Scrimgeour found himself deposed as Minister overnight. The wizarding pubic decided quite vociferously that it would not stand for lies and incompetence any longer and they could not forgive him the fact that he had imprisoned innocents like Stan Shunpike, whilst he had employed someone like Dolores Umbridge who had tried to turn their hero over to the Dark Lord and almost succeeded in her task. They were delighted to have someone with the integrity of Amelia Bones back with them and she was pressed by several prominent citizens to stand in as Minister with the support of Kingsley Shacklebolt whilst she recovered her strength.

No-one was more delighted by her return however than Robbie who had held his aunt in his arms and wept unashamedly like a little boy.

Kingsley arranged for Lucius Malfoy to be taken back to Grimmauld Place instead of returned to prison. He was placed under house arrest but both Kingsley and Amelia promised that they would not allow Lucius to be returned to his cell. Amelia had seen what Lucius had endured and was sickened by it. All of them believed that he would not survive Azkaban again; the man was just too weak, too fragile. Lucius had suffered truly dreadful tortures, but all of them had to be cured using a combination of Muggle medicine and ‘Harry Salve’ as Severus had taken to calling it.

Lucius could not seem to tolerate ordinary potions, whatever curse the Death Eaters had used saw to that. A simple scarify potion had him screaming in absolute agony, until they had finally managed to sponge him clean again. But somehow, perhaps because of his proximity to Harry at the Manor, Lucius seemed to be able to tolerate any potion made from Harry’s animagus fur. Of course with Harry so deeply asleep, the stock of potions were fast running out, but Severus was loathe to wake him, even if he had been able.

When Harry had returned that night he had begun to shake violently, displaying all the characteristics of severe Cruciatus damage. Eileen had insisted that Harry be given some dreamless sleep and some time to heal. Two days later he was still asleep, long after the potion had been metabolised and should have worn off.

Why he still slept no-one was really sure, but Severus thought that the damage that had been done to his nephew had been even more severe than any of them first realised.

Sometimes Severus sat with the slumbering Harry and sometimes Eileen did, but he was never alone, not even for a moment. Neither of them could bear to let the boy out of their sight. Not now and possibly not ever again.

Draco spent a lot of time with Harry too. Every so often in those days that Harry slept yet again Draco would come and sit by him and just hold his hand, or stroke his cheek and not say very much at all. Severus was surprised to find that he was really worried for the boy. Draco had taken shock after shock in the last few days and Severus wondered whether the boy was close to collapse. But time and again Draco surprised him, he surprised them all with his quiet strength and his dignity.

It became increasingly obvious, that Lucius would never again be the man that he was. Sometimes he was lucid and spoke sensibly about the battle and the loss of his ancestral home. At other times he ranted and raved and screamed his aguish for everyone to hear. Narcissa, tried desperately hard to be brave, but came to see Severus in quiet moments to tell of her despair. Severus wondered when he had become a support for so many people. Since he had unofficially been elected as head of the Order, Kingsley, Arthur and the others had sought his advice for most big decisions, but with his irascible temper and fiercely private nature he thought he would be the last person that anyone should turn to for advise, after all he thought he had quite thoroughly fucked up his own life in the past! But turn to him they did.

Severus was half tempted to go and look at himself in the mirror sometimes to see if his eyes had started twinkling! As far as he was concerned a less suitable replacement for Albus than himself would be damned near impossible to find. But no-one else seemed to agree with him, Severus could almost see the old man roaring with laughter at his protégé’s strange predicament.

It was quite late now and everything was quiet, whilst Harry slept on, oblivious once again, his magic trying to heal the damage that he had suffered, Draco drifted in and out of the room. Severus thought that maybe Draco was not keen on letting Harry out of his sight anymore than he and Eileen were. Ron and Hermione visited regularly too and Severus had finally come to see what good friends they were to his nephew. He had keenly disliked the Gryffindor trio when they had been at Hogwarts and yet now he valued them more than he could ever say. Severus was truly touched by how much his nephew was loved. Not that Harry seemed to have any idea how they felt about him.

Severus stood up and stretched. He was aching a bit from sitting in the same position for several hours. He looked out of the tower window over the Quidditch Pitch and wondered what Harry would do when he woke up and realised that he was in Gryffindor Tower, he wondered whether Harry would laugh at the fact that his once hated potions professor was sitting by his bedside, occasionally brushing his messy fringe from his forehead, after all, he couldn’t quite believe it himself!

He had hoped that Harry would have woken up during the journey, however he had simply slumbered on, but Severus knew from his recent experiences with Harry’s bouts of unconsciousness that until he was ready, nothing whatsoever would wake him.

Minerva had opened the floo network for them for the return, something that was unheard of for Hogwarts. Severus could not bear the thought of Harry waking whilst being Portkeyed once again. If he had hated Portkeys before, how much worse would he feel now?

So Severus had carried him, “it is getting to be quite a habit, me carrying you like this isn’t it Harry?” Severus had whispered into the boy’s hair as he lifted him into the green flames, he had shocked himself to the very core when he had found himself placing a gentle kiss on Harry’s forehead.

They had had no choice but to return here to the school. Even if it was hard for Severus, and Draco too for that matter. Grimmauld Place just wasn’t safe any longer. Newspaper reporters had taken to lurking around outside the house. Seeking an interview with himself or with Eileen. Her story had been serialised over several days and apparently avidly read by the majority of the wizarding world, and that along with reports and images of Severus’ at the Battle of Malfoy Manor had also turned Severus into something of a hero.

Albus’ Pensieve testimony had further excited the magical public. The old wizard had spoken of how fond of Severus he was, how much he had relied on him and how much he had asked of Severus when he had asked the other man to kill him.

Complete strangers kept coming up to Severus in the street, at the Ministry, everywhere he went. They would insist on shaking his hand, patting him on the back, telling him how wonderful he was. It made Severus feel deeply, deeply uncomfortable. He thought he had some idea how Harry must have felt now, not enjoying his fame at all.

“He is a rather unlikely hero Severus is he not?”

Lucius Malfoy broke into Severus’ musing.

“Almost as improbable an adversary as you are yourself old friend. It is no wonder that I could not know, that I chose the wrong side. Who would have believed that such a fragile child could have proven so resilient? Have defied the Dark Lord so often and won?”

Severus turned and looked at the blond man. Letting his black velvet eyes bore into Lucius’ silver ones. Lucius was beginning to look somewhat better. After nearly five days his bruises were beginning to fade, his cuts were healing, but his cheeks were still hollow his skin was grey and his eyes held a haunted look that Severus thought would probably take a long time to fade, if it ever did.

“How could we have been so wrong, Severus?” Lucius, continued.

He smiled somewhat wryly, “but then perhaps you were not fooled for long, hmmm Severus? When did you join his side.” The blond man gestured his head in Harry’s direction.

“I have been on his side all of his life,” Severus said quietly. “As soon as I knew that Lily was a target I promised myself, I promised her that I would protect him. I haven’t done a very good job for most of his life, but at least I kept him alive.”

Lucius said nothing for a moment or two. He just sat in a battered old faded red armchair and watched Harry sleep.

Severus thought how much things had changed, not that long ago he would not have allowed Lucius to be anywhere near Harry, even if he had been awake.

“How could we have been so wrong, Severus?” Lucius asked, “You did believe The Dark Lord once, didn’t you? You thought he was the answer to our problems too didn’t you? He was so powerful, so charismatic. What he said seemed to make so much sense. I believed him, I believed in him. But what a fool I was.

“He has destroyed me, destroyed my home, my son. The Malfoy name is in the mud, it may never recover, I think our assets will almost certainly be seized, Amelia intimated that such might be the price for my freedom. Not from her, she pities me I think, she saw what…..what they did to me, she knows that I am no longer a threat. But as far as the wizarding public is concerned I am a criminal and always will be in their eyes, such is the legacy that I have given Draco.

“What he did to me, Severus, a pureblood. Once of the ones that he swore that were special to him. What he did to Draco, to Narcissa! For a long time I thought that he would kill us all.

“But I don’t believe that now. That child, a boy whom I despised for a long, long time, he helped saved my son, he sheltered my wife, he has more power than I have ever felt before in my life. He will win won’t he?”

“I think he will.” Severus said simply. “He certainly will if I have anything to do with it. I will not let him be hurt again Lucius, not by anyone.”

Lucius flinched.

“I won’t hurt him Severus,” he said, “In fact I rather doubt that I could hurt him. Do you have any idea how powerful he is?”

“Of course I do. I have known for quite sometime that he has very strong powers indeed. He is stronger perhaps than any wizard that I have ever known, including Albus, including…”

“Including the Dark Lord? But whilst he is immensely strong, he is very young and could be easily tricked?”

Severus’ wand was in his hand even before Lucius stopped speaking.

The blond man looked at him steadily

“Go ahead Severus; it is not as if I would be able to stop you. I have no strength, little magic. If you cast a tickling charm it would probably kill me. I was not threatening him; I was merely making an observation. I have nowhere to go Severus, nowhere left to turn. If you and he do not protect my family then we are almost certainly lost. We have nothing left, my home is gone, my assets frozen, my son is a werewolf, why would I jeopardise my last chance?

Harry is young; he is trusting, despite all that he seems to have been through. He needs to be guided Severus. I want to help; I have a vested interest in his victory.

“When he was at the Manor, he was casting magic, it was not strong, but it should not have been possible at all, he overcame the wards Severus, no-one has been able to do that, no-one ever, not even the Dark Lord himself. It should not have happened. I took his hands in my own and I felt the magic inside him. But the Weasley boy and the others they had told him that he could not use his powers in the Manor, that the dampening wards would not allow such a thing. But it was not the wards stopping him Severus; it was his own belief in what the others were telling him. So I lied, I pretended that I had connected him to the wards. But how could I have done without my wand? I can’t use my magic right now Severus, I might never be able to use it again, but I told him that I had cast a spell so that he could use his magic and he believed me.

“I have no idea how he did it, how he overcame the wards. They must have held him at first perhaps, but they could not for long, and I suspect that his relationship with my son helped things along.

“He loves Draco doesn’t he? He protected him, defended him and perhaps the wards simply allowed themselves to be overcome. I told him the truth about that, but it was his power and his power alone that got us out of there in the end, otherwise we too would have become ashes beneath the walls.

When he changed, when he became an Animagus, without a wand, without even speaking a spell, I nearly screamed. Amelia did, although he had warned us beforehand. He was amazing, a more magnificent form I have yet to see.

“But I lied to him and he believed me Severus. What if the Dark Lord does the same?”