Dirty deeds

15 February

Didn’t go back to the party as Severus clinging to me like sailor to raft after a shipwreck. Suspect it will last for another couple of hours and then he will be back to usual grumpy bastard self. Wouldn’t have it any other way. If all else fails I’ll make him give me another detention, after all we could actually use the potion’s classroom. That should perk him up a treat, and before you know it he will be back issuing orders and snapping at people like normal.

Obviously not at me or he’ll be taking his bollocks home in a paper bag.

Ears then, ears home in a paper bag. Wouldn’t want him to lose the use of his bollocks. Not even if wearing them as earrings would get me promotion. That’s true love that is.

Haven’t got a thing to wear as last night’s clothes in shreds. Wouldn’t have fancied popping into breakfast in a ballgown either. A little overdressed and slightly in poor taste. Dobby springs to the rescue and nips up to see Ginny who has come prepared for a morning after the night before, and has some spare kit. I expected she’d be making some pointed remarks at breakfast.

Pop Severus into the bath. In fit of whimsy conjure up a rubber duck for him. Offer to wash his hair well received. Offer to wash my back well received; oddly enough though he seems to concentrate almost entirely on my front.

Thought Severus would be mildly reluctant to go upstairs and face Dumbedore, but he’s looking forward to it. Suspect he got up early and did a little sneering practice and has doubtless thought of some nice throwaway lines to rub salt into the wound.

Little tinker.

Actually being snide to the headmaster would be better for him than giving a detention when it comes to re-building self esteem. Think we can look forward to a breakfast of two dominant males fighting for control of the pack. Not that Dumbledore that dominant that I’ve ever heard of, even if the rumours about him and Minerva are true. Don’t think he’ll be getting much sympathy from her at the moment. Must remember to apologise to her about the harridan thing. Bit harsh.

Breakfast goes well to start with. No Dumbledore and given every chance to wrap myself around a substantial breakfast. You can\'t beat house elf cooking. Definitely better than mine. Minerva being less frosty than normal and unbends enough to congratulate us on engagement. I say sorry for being rude, and Severus has difficulty not sniggering when he hears what I called her.

He should have heard what I called him is all I can say.

Ginny and Lucius potter in together and both look very tired but happy. Can\'t think what they’ve been up to at all. She smirks at me, and I smirk at her; meanwhile the boys are exchanging looks of immense satisfaction. Suspect they are only two steps away from putting up a big sign saying, I Had Sex Last Night. I Was Very Good. They don’t change much over the years, boys, other than to get worse.

Then Dumbledore arrives. His nose is squashed and he has two lovely black eyes. So happy I can\'t tell you. Almost as happy as when Severus caved in, sorry came to his senses.

Dumbledore less than impressed with the five happy, smiling faces that greet him. The girls and me are just smiling, but Lucius and Severus are doing the patented Slytherin supercilious faint smile with added sneer. Like two book ends.

He stops in front of us and says in very clipped tones that I will not be welcome at Hogwarts and would never be so whilst he remains Headmaster and that he must ask me to leave the premises. Adding for good measure that after my assault on him last night, I should be grateful that I’m not going to Azkaban.

So then Minerva pipes up and tells me to stay put and that I would always be welcome at Hogwarts, and that as far as she could remember no assault occurred last night. His injuries were sustained in a fall that had clearly addled his memory and Madam Pomfrey would swear to the same.

Goes down like a cup of cold sick.

Wonderful.

So then he starts on how the rules at Hogwarts forbid professors from having overnight shags in their rooms.

Minerva ripostes with comments about the number of Knockturn Alley whores he’s had through his chambers in the years he’s been at Hogwarts, and how he ought to have installed a turnstile. So not true about her and Albus then.

Goes down worse than a cup of cold sick, cup of warm sick perhaps.

Dumbledore gets all magisterial at this point, which is easy with the robes and the beard, despite the fact his is a tosser. He puts his foot down. Which is his fourth mistake and I am just reaching for my wand, as iveruverus, when Lucius says that as he is so insistent that it was either him or me, he would have a word with the governors about getting him removed. Delivered in very airy tones, but you could hear the vultures circling. The body was still twitching, but it was very nearly dead.

Took Dumbldore all of five minutes to think of a way out of it. Started chatting to Severus as if he had never tried to ruin his life. Asked about when we were planning to get married, and then moved quickly on to how he always knew we were suited to each other after all, and that his interference had been taken out of context.

Fuckwit.

Severus not taking any of this from the little tosser, and starts talking about how marriage means more expenses and more responsibility.

Dumbledore looked blank until Minerva whispered in his ear – DADA.

Dumbledore went red then white then red again, his lips thinned as he said between gritted teeth that he would be delighted to offer Severus the DADA job at the beginning of next term. No one trusted the bastard an inch, so we got him to put it in writing. The peace accord was signed with due ceremony and Severus and I were toasted – was only tea but the thought was there. Think it nearly choked Dumbledore.

Pity it was only nearly.

Severus a very happy boy.

Dumbledore rushed his way through breakfast so he could scuttle back under whatever rock he normally hides under and spend the rest of the day muttering about the unfairness of life in general and me in particular. When he stood up he threw me a filthy look, and I thought I had better make some sort of conciliatory comment.

Not what happened. The inner bitch took over and what I actually said was: If I were you I’d just be grateful you didn’t say over my dead boy. Gave him a very level look. Think he got the message that if he fucked with my boy again he wouldn’t be getting off with a chinning next time.

Lucius had to put his oar in and commented that it was quite the most romantic thing he’d seen in ages. Issuing threats to kill. Quite like the old days. Brought back happy memories of Bellatrix.

Ginny not amused. He’ll have to watch that clever mouth of his – there are some things she doesn’t have a sense of humour about. Not that much of that was amusing. Actually it was but I am turning into something of an evil bitch in my own right. Sure he does it to get a reaction.

Then moved on to make some sort of comment about how muggleborns always seemed to forget they were magical in times of stress and resorted to vulgar physical violence.

Now that wasn’t funny.

She wasn’t going to let that one pass without response.

She told him that problem with purebloods is that so arrogant that they don’t pay enough attention to their own culture. If they did, they would have read Hogwarts: a History and realised that the Headmaster is tied into the wards of the castle and that the only reason Voldemort couldn’t take a little faker like Dumbledore was some 300 year old protection a half competent witch in her first year could have breached in twenty minutes.

She exaggerated for effect as would take brilliant witch – me – half an hour and took me until my seventh year to work it out. But they never asked me did they?

For the first time ever I think Lucius really looks at me without the mudblood blinkers on and has a long hard think about why they lost the war.

Valuable lesson delivered I think. If he and Ginny are going to be more than a quick shag he needs to have a bit of a re-think of some of his attitudes rather than paying lip service to being the new improved non-prejudiced Lucius who only really changed sides because his missis got the chop. And the dice as well from what I hear. Sorry, in very poor taste.

Not to mention the fact that, grateful for his help though I am, he needed a bitch slap.

He looks a bit thoughtful although whether that is because he is re-thinking his entire attitude to mudbloods or thinking about shagging Ginny - all true about fiery redheads - I can\'t tell. Possibly both.

We all go our several ways, Ginny and Lucius off to pack; Severus and I head back to the dungeons. As we pass the potions classroom I catch his eye.

A/N guess what happens in the last chapter, answer on a postcard to......