In Need

~~**~~


Confusion. Hazy ropes of green and brown threading their way restlessly across the blackness, unattached to any meaning. Like phosphorous plumes rising up from primordial mud, they wound around through the darkness as though trying to define its edges, brushing lightly against nothing and then dissolving in the void. A memory – except not one of conscious thought – a memory more primal and visceral, pulling at the dormant edges of awareness and attempting to coalesce them into something… something…


And now the memory of Self appears in blurry outline in the mire. A knowledge of one as separate from everything else, somehow… Familiarity of existence…


It was coming faster now, rising to the surface like bubbles in water and could now be called Thought. The thoughts were still without a point of reference and bumped against each other in confusion. Struggling. And then the visceral memory again. It was Pain. Fear. Not defined by actual words yet, but in shapes of memory that defined them better than the mere sounds of speech could do.


Now awareness spread. Sound. Rushing and pulsing – whether water or blood, it was impossible to say. Pushing forward, struggling for clarity.


Blood – the memory returns, and this time it has words to name itself. Blood, Pain, Fear… and then with a final thrust, she broke through the crystalline liquid surface of her protective unconscious and remembered.


Breath, light, sound, air. Eyes open, light pierces. Breath gulped deeply in and released in a scream that tore itself out of her throat.


Severus was at Megan’s side in an instant. She was confused and frightened, and he knelt down hastily next to her bed and pressed a hand firmly but gently on each side of her face. As she struggled against her own weak helplessness, a group of healers who had been alerted by her scream ran into the room. Sleeping potions in hand, they approached Megan as she looked wildly at nothing in particular.


With a snarl, Severus snatched the vial of potion out of Delia Goodwill’s hand and threw it into a drawer. Glaring darkly at the startled mediwitch, he snapped, “If you make this woman’s eyes close again I will not be held responsible for my actions.”


“But… she…” stammered Delia.


“This is not good for her, Snape,” interjected Jeremiah. “The shock of coming around so quickly could be too great.”


Severus still had his hands on her and he began to reach into her mind. “There is no need to keep her in the darkness even longer than she has been already. I will guide her back to where she needs to be.”


~~**~~

He found her flitting through her own awareness like a golden snitch, frantically searching for something – anything – that made sense. She paused, recognizing him, the confusion still too dominant to determine the rest of thelinglings rapidly swellip arp around her like a tidal wave upon seeing him. His stillness slowed her enough to address him.


“What’s happening? Are we dead?”


“No, my love, we are both quite alive.”


“Why can’t I move? Why do I feel so strange?”


“You were hurt and have been asleep a long time. Now you are waking up. Don’t fight it, Megan. Come back to me.”

~~**~~


Her futile struggle on the bed had settled down and she now looked up into his eyes in recognition, aware of nothing else. The small group of healers stood by and watched quietly, not quite believing what they had seen. The feeling of weakness was so overwhelming for her that it was intensely strange and uncomfortable. Her expression changed to one of hesitation and uncertainty.


Now unshakable in his purpose and keenly aware of the blissful relief that was finally within his grasp, he held onto her with soft persistence. “It’s time, love.” The corners of his mouth turned up. “Stay with me.”


The voice, so familiar and so beloved, broke through the final shreds of fog still around her head. Her eyes filled with tears and she awkwardly tried to lift her arms to put them around him. In a second, he had gathered her up into his arms and cradled her against him, pressing her rather more tightly to himself than he intended or realized. She cried against his neck, now having managed to put her arms around him. The lump that had swelled in his throat became to great to bear, and he shed silent tears of his own, his eyes closed and his face pressed into her hair. The healers backed quietly out of the room – remedies could certainly wait a few minutes more.


Between Severus and Megan, there were no poetic exchanges and no speeches. The agony had been too great and the relief that blossomed over them was too essential to be interrupted. Talk could come later – right now all they needed was to finally be together.


In the corridor, Delia Goodwill wore a shocked expression. “That’s one thing I certainly never thought I would see! I would think that Severus Snape would sooner die than let anyone see him with his heart opened up like that…”


Jeremiah replied, “His heart has had to endure much more than we know. Cowards aren’t just those who let every little thing get to them – they are also those who don’t let anything at all get to them. No matter whatever else any of us might think of him, Severus Snape is no coward.”


~~**~~

Despite the protests of the healers working with Megan, her room became something of a hubbub over the next few hours. Albus Dumbledore arrived with his pockets full of sweets that Megan had loved for him to bring to her when she was younger. He took Megan’s hands into his, and looked into her eyes. He ran his thumb over her long bony hand that rested in his and looked at the thin pinched face looking so trustingly up at him, and he was glad that he could look back at her with plain happiness. While her condition had been uncertain, he’d struggled with feelings of guilt. The wizard in him had known all along what he would need to ask of her and what the risks would be, the uncle in him had dreaded those possibilities and loathed the circumstances that had made those risks necessary.


He had given her care over as a child to those who would be able to give her a more balanced home than he would have been able to, but his heart had never really relinquished her care. As she had grown up, she had reminded him more and more of his dear youngest sister whose death at Voldemort’s hand had grieved him deeply. When Megan was injured and her survival uncertain, his grief and guilt were nearly overwhelming. The responsibility that he was accustomed to shouldering for the wizarding world made it difficult for him to let go of his responsibility toward her now that she was grown, but over time he had made his peace about it. Even a short time after Voldemort’s defeat, the benefits to the wizarding world were already plain, and, no one who went into battle against him had done so unwillingly. Despite ages, connections, and even despite species, they had fought side by side to do what had needed to be done.


In spite of the peace he’d made with Megan’s situation some time ago, Dumbledore’s step had nonetheless become noticeably lighter in the last few hours than it had been in some time, and his eyes twinkled merrily as he noticed Severus wrinkling his nose at the chocolate frog that his headmaster had just caught and popped into his mouth. As he dug into a bag of Bertie Bott’s every flavor beans, braving the consequences of his previous luck with them, he said, “Alison and John are on their way. They should be here in just a few more hours – I’ll need to leave to collect them at the muggle intersection downstairs when they get here and bring them in to see you.”


~~**~~


After months of disuse and not having eaten anything, Megan’s muscles had wasted and begun to atrophy. Her limbs felt like lead sticks every time she tried to move them. In her increasing frustration at being pinned down by her own body as the day wore on, she finally cried out, “Damn it all anyway – I can’t fucking MOVE! DO something!” Her voice had grown quite hoarse, also from disuse, and it sounded ugly and weird to her, which fueled her darkening mood. The relief of being awake and seeing those dearest to her was quickly being overshadowed by her discomfort and the agitation it produced.


Jeremiah Dickson, who had returned to the room some time ago to examine her, calmly said, “You were mortally wounded – or nearly so, at least – and haven’t moved or eaten for a bit over three months now. You won’t be skipping around the garden today, lass, but you will get well if you do as you’re told. We will continue treating the atrophy and help get your muscles working again, but it’ll take time to get them strong again. You’re going to have to eat and build your bulk up again.


Jeremiah pulled the tray that the house elves had prepared closer to her and nodded his head toward it. Megan made a face and shook her head. The sight and smell of the food on it were wholly unpleasant to her and she couldn’t bear the thought of eating it or anything else. The very idea of eating seemed somehow foreign to her now. “I’m not hungry. I don’t want this.”


“You won’t be hungry after this long,” said Jeremiah, “but you must try anyway.”


It was at about this point that Harry, Ron, and Hermione peeped in the door. Severus glared at them with his standard potions master look, and Harry rolled his eyes. Severus, who would really have preferred to not have to share his time with her, said to Dumbledore, “Headmaster, I find it quite unreasonable that studstudents seem to think that they can excuse themselves from class and leave the school grounds whenever they see fit.”


The white streaks in Snape’s hair and his increased absence from both classroom and the great hall had escaped no one’s notice, least of all the group of friends who were now present before him. This insight had the most remarkable effect on this group of students, who he’d been particularly hard on all these years – they saw through him. Seeing that he was actually capable of human feeling when years of knowing him had convinced them otherwise completely changed how his words fell into their ears and how they reacted to them. “Don’t worry, we had permission,” said Hermione, flourishing a parchment bearing Minerva McGonagall’s neat signature in bright green ink, “and we can’t stay too long anyway. We just wanted to say hello.”


They greeted Megan warmly, but to her they looked like they had aged years, not months. She hadn’t the energy yet to hear about how everyone else had fared in the battle, but knew immediately upon looking at them that they had all been deeply affected. It touched her quite deeply that even with their own concerns they would make a point of not only learning about her recovery but also taking the time to come to her.


Hermione shot a worried glance at Ron who had settled into a chair next to Dumbledore – he had wanted to come along, but was clearly uncomfortable to be back at St. Mungo’s. He didn’t seem to know what to do with his long legs, and crossed and uncrossed them several times before settling with both feet on the floor. He eyed the untouched tray of food and, pointing to the buttered roll, asked, “Is anyone going to eat this?”


“Honestly, Ron,” said Hermione rolling her eyes.


“Yes,” said Delia Goodwill, grabbing Ron’s wrist. “Your Professor Waters is going to eat it.”


“No I’m not,” said Megan. “You can have whatever you want, Ron.”


Exasperated, Delia adjusted her spectacles and looked down through them, trying to appear stern. “You have to eat! If you don’t want this food, then at least tell us what sounds appetizing to you and we’ll have the house elves send it up.


“Nothing sounds appetizing,” said Megan, becoming peevish again. “I’ve only just come around – you could give me a chance to collect myself, after all.”


Ron looked even more uncomfortable than he did before and fidgeted in his chair, trying without success to be smaller. Delia persisted. “Nothing at all?”


“No, I already told…” Megan paused, reconsidering. “Actually, maybe there is one thing, but the house elves couldn’t get it anyway.”


Severus looked at her in surprise.


“I only just thought of it now,” she said sheepishly. “I guess that I wouldn’t mind having a chocolate milkshake from McDonald\'s.”


“What on earth is that?” Severus and the mediwitch asked in unison.


Hermione and Harry, on the other hand, both lit up at Megan’s request. “We know what it is, Professor,” said Hermione. “We can go get it for her, if you like.”


Looking at them for a moment, Severus nodded and they left on their first (and thankfully benign) mission together in some time.


“You know how to get there?” asked Harry as they went into the hallway.


“Yes, there’s one over on Fleet Street at Blackfriar’s. You okay, Ron?”


“Yeah,” he said, rather unconvincingly. “She doesn’t look too good though, does she?”


~~**~~


Once on Fleet Street, the trio passed a pub called the Cheshire Cheese. Harry grinned at Hermione and said, “Any wonder you knew how to find the McDonald’s. Leave it to the bookworm to use this pub as a reference point.”


“You know, we should stop by here sometime,” she said. “A lot of prominent writers still come here because of the tradition, and we could…”


Ron pretended to snore. “Hmph,” she said, elbowing him. “They have beer and really good puddings, too,” at which Ron promptly opened his eyes and examined the pub with more interest. He rubbed the place where she had elbowed him and noted that it felt immensely good to be bickering with her again.


At the counter in McDonald’s, Hermione ordered six chocolate milkshakes and Harry handed the money to the boy at the cash register. Ron stared up at the brightly lit menu in fascination, and Harry added a few more things to their order. The outing with Harry and Hermione had improved Ron’s spirits considerably, and they made their way back to St. Mungo’s with their bags. Hermione did a freezing charm on the shakes to keep them cold as long as it would take Megan to finish them.


They ended up staying in her room longer than they had intended. Harry poked a straw into the cup for Megan, and Severus held it up to her so she could drink it, torn between disapproval at the bright red and yellow cup of cold and pasty brown liquid, and relief that she was consuming something with calories. “Mmm, thanks!” she said with a grin. “This is good!”


Megan’s parents came to her straight from the airport, and there was another round of hugging and crying. “Oh, Baby,” said Mrs. Waters, “We were so scared. I can’t tell you how good it is to see your face again.”


“Heya, Pumpkin,” said Senator Waters, not doing a very good job of concealing his alarm at her appearance. “You doing what these doctors are telling you to do?”


“Yes, Daddy. Don’t worry about me – today is just day one, right?”


They had sent her old pink bunny* as soon as she had been brought to the hospital, and it now sat in a place of honor on the nightstand next to her bed. Alison Waters squeezed it affectionately and said, “I guess your old friend here did a good job of watching over you again.”


“I think a good many friends have been watching over me, Mom.”


The evening continued until Jeremiah shooed the visitors away. “You can’t overdo it, now,” he said firmly. “They can come back another time.”


~~**~~


When they were finally alone that evening, Severus sat down on the bed next to Megan and pulled her up against him. She lay her head sleepily against his chest and he brushed her hair away from her face, tucking it gently behind her ear. He kissed her face and the top of her head and said, “I don’t want to ever spend another night apart from you. Whatever happens from now on, I can’t bear to be without you.”


She murmured sleepily and turned her head slightly to kiss him on the chest, right over his heart. The day had been long and she was exhausted, but rested in his arms, comforted more by his presence than the potions for pain relief and sleep that she had been given. She had a long road ahead of her, but was grateful to be alive.


The mediwitch who was doing midnight rounds, found them asleep together on Megan’s bed, Severus sitting up against the wall with a pillow behind his back, and Megan curled up against him. His arm lay protectively around her, and his cheek rested against the top of her head. The medi-witch sighed and pursed her lips. Honestly, these people would keep pushing the limitshosphospital rules. Still, her heart was not made of stone and she, along with everyone else in the wizarding world by now, was familiar with their story. She extinguished the lights and continued on her rounds.


~~**~~


* old pink bunny reference – see prologue

A/N - Hello sweeties! I am so glad to be back!!! My semester is finished, and I am done with school until September. Now, my fried brain is rested and I was able to turn it back to this story (an undeniably pleasant diversion from statistics). I hope that you are well, and thank you for finding this addition to the story after its longest hiatus yet. I promise that while it might be awhile sometimes, unless something very unusual happens to me, I won\'t drop it unfinished.

Anyway, thank you for reading and special thanks to those who reviewed. I always love hearing your thoughts - drop a line! :-)

deblovesdragon - Heck yeah! :-) Thanks as always for your cool comments!

droxy - Loved your comments - lol, I\'m glad to not be the only one who enjoys the wrench of angst (esp. if followed by a better resolution of some kind!) I don\'t know about the dark mark - any ideas? Glad you liked the gray hair thing - he is so stoic that I wanted to find a way for him to show his pain but keep in character about it.

Mary Beth - I\'m so glad you like how it\'s going. More about HP & GW soon, and I promise that your questions will be answered in that part.

sauleanne - Thanks! I\'m so glad that you like the OC & how she fits into the HP universe. I promise there will be more HG & VK soon, and am glad you like them as a couple.

SwedishGirl - Wow, thanks! Your comment totally rocked and was a huge ego boost, too, I might add. :-D Love that you enjoy the story, and I promise to not leave it hanging and unfinished.

Best to you all,
R.