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Thirty-Seven

Remus caught up with him as he stalked down the corridor towards his rooms.

“Severus,” he shouted, jogging to catch up with Severus’ long stride, “Wait a moment!” So Severus waited.

“Are you okay?” Remus asked, his face full of concern as he caught up with Severus.

Severus smiled wryly. “Not really, no,” he answered, “I can’t believe that I did what I did. When I heard it laid out before me today, what I had said, by those children who heard it all, I just wanted to curl up and die. The worst of it was that what I did later injured him even more. I don’t think that I am ever going to forgive myself, Remus. I hurt him so much.”

They kept walking along side by side on their way to the dungeons, drawing curious glances, but no one approached them or tried to stop them.

“I think you have to, Severus,” Remus replied. “You have castigated yourself enough, I think. If Farid is to forgive you, then you have to forgive yourself first.”

“I don’t know if I can, Remus,” Severus said in strangled tones, “But I do know one thing: I do have to overcome my feelings of insecurity, of jealousy. I am an adult; it is up to me to at least try to be the strong one. Farid is still barely more than a child and yet he has comforted me, supported me, loved me, right up until got so fucking drunk, so eaten up with jealousy, that I overlooked the fact that he had been assaulted and then assaulted him myself. For so much of my life I let my bitterness, my anger dominate me, and that is what the bond fixated on, used against me. I have overcome Imperius, fought Cruciatus, and battled for half of my life against a Dark Mark. This bond will not rule me any longer. It is time I put the past behind me and finally grew up.”

Their eyes met and Remus nodded; Severus thought he caught a glimpse of pride in the werewolf’s eyes.

“You know where I am if you need me, don’t you Severus?” he said tightly and he leaned forward and embraced Severus before turning on his heel and walking away.


They had gotten rid of most of the gifts now, there was just the crate of Puffskeins, - which were destined for the first year girls’ dorm - and a small wicker basket that had only arrived that morning and which they had not yet opened.

Somewhere in Severus’ rooms, the pink monkey was definitely hiding and, every so often, he would pop up wielding his placard but, as yet, Severus had been unable to catch him. Black had left ages ago; he had been the one helping Farid before Severus arrived. The boy had not wanted to fly for very long, according to Black, but had insisted that he wanted to wait in their rooms in case his master came back and needed him.

Severus was worried about the boy even more now, Farid loved flying more than just about anything else, and Severus eyed him surreptitiously wondering how to broach the subject that was foremost in his mind right then.

Farid was kneeling by the Puffskeins; he had checked them over to see if they were all alright. He was working diligently helping to sort through the huge number of gifts but, since Severus had arrived, he had said barely a word.

He turned then and opened the wicker basket in front of him and froze, eyes wide. Severus made to rush over to see what was wrong but, before he got there, Farid had reached inside and drew out a tiny ball of black fur. He held it close to his chest and ran a gentle finger down its head. He sat like that for a moment or two holding the tiny scrap tenderly. After a little while he spoke, tentatively, carefully.

“Masteerr, it is frighted.” he said, looking up imploringly at Severus with wide green eyes. “moost we give it away to the first year girls? I zink it is frighted to go.”

Severus almost smiled. It was the first time that Farid had really asked him for anything, for himself, ever. Even if the request was indirect, it was obvious that the boy wanted to keep the kitten. Severus thought that he would make Farid work just a little harder though to earn his prize, because of course he would allow him to keep it.

He walked over to the boy who was curled on the floor, cradling the tiny creature and knelt beside him. “Would you like to have the kitten, Farid? Is that what you are asking me?”

Farid stiffened, and Severus felt sad. What had happened to this boy, that he was afraid to ask even the tiniest favour of anyone, even Severus, who had never once denied him?

But he obviously really wanted this creature to stay, because Severus could almost see him stiffening his resolve.

He nodded and, still refusing to meet Severus’ gaze, said in a tiny voice. “Jes please, Masteerr, can I keep chim?”

“Of course you can, my love, if you want too.” Severus answered wanting to twirl him around with delight, wanting to shout his success to the rooftops. It was a minute success but it was indeed what he had been seeking for sometime now. Farid had wanted something and had asked for it.

He sat himself more comfortably, ruefully noticing the stiffness in his knees when he knelt, and ran his own hand over the kitten’s head, eliciting a tiny purr. The little animal looked up at him with eyes that he noticed were almost as green as Farid’s. “Have you thought of a name?” he asked, trying to make light of the momentous occasion.

“Can I shoose a name for chim?” Farid said in astonishment, and this time he did look at Severus. If anything, his eyes were even wider than before.

“Well, he is your kitten,” Severus answered mildly, “I think it only right that you should name him. Then we need to go and talk about your rights, what you can expect from now on.”

The boy hung his head at that, obviously unsure about what to expect.

He stood when Severus did though, and obediently followed his Master into the kitchen where the kitten was offered a saucer of milk, which it eagerly lapped up and then, still cradling his precious bundle, back to the sitting room where he joined Severus on the sofa.

“It is time for us to talk, Farid,” Severus began, noting that the boy’s head was still down, eyes fixed on the floor. What on Earth was the child expecting him to say? There was no point keeping him in suspense any longer, so Severus began.

“I hate this bond, Farid,” he started, almost faltering as viridian eyes flashed up and looked at him, almost searing him with their intensity.

“I hate what it does to me. It plays on my baser instincts, most negative emotions and distorts them, twists them. Then the other night….” Here he did falter, “the other night, they overwhelmed me, Farid. The feelings that I had, of anger, of jealousy, combined with all the alcohol that I had consumed, was what made me hurt you so badly and I don’t think I can ever truly tell you how sorry I am. I would do anything to take back what I did to you, what I said. Do you understand?”

The boy’s eyes had dropped again now; he was looking at the kitten curled in his robes, almost as if he were pretending that he was alone, but nevertheless he nodded. It would have been almost imperceptible to anyone who was not looking for it, but it was indeed there.

“You are now, and will always be, safe with me,” Severus told him. “I will never let alcohol affect me as it did last night, this I promise you.”

As he spoke, Severus walked over to the ornate sideboard that stood against one wall. He opened the cupboard where he kept his prized whiskey and took each bottle out, one at a time. He had collected it over a number of years and was inordinately fond of each one of the precious malts. “That will never happen again,” he told the boy. “Never will I allow myself to lose control around you like that, Farid. And to ensure that I don’t, these will go.” Then, as if to prove his point, he stood back and pointed his wand at the alcohol and vanished it all, bottle by bottle, as Farid watched through hooded eyes.

“I do not think that this bond can be dissolved. Remus, Hermione, Ron, they have searched for months and yet no one has found a way to remove it. So, I think that perhaps we will always be bound together.”

Farid was still watching him, but this time through his lashes, obviously uncertain about what Severus was trying to say.

“If it were not such an unequal bond, so restrictive, I do not think that I would mind so much. But it is restrictive. It makes you call me ‘Master’; it made me think of you as a possession. But I will not allow it to dominate me any longer. It is a compulsion and I am going to fight it.

“This morning I went and saw Hermione, and we talked about how I could give you some more freedom. She told me that the American Muggles and indeed many other countires have something called a Bill of Rights; I think that American wizards do too. They have something called a Constitution; the rights of all Americans are laid out in that document. I am sure that things do not always go how they should for all American citizens, but at least they have made an attempt at ensuring equal rights. That is something that I want you to have, Farid: rights. Rights that you know about and understand.

“If you had known three nights ago, that I would never share you with anyone, never ask you to do what Yusuf had done, I know that Nott would never have gotten his claws into you. We probably would have still had that row, or rather I would probably have still treated you so badly, but you would not have been raped.”

He stopped to take a breath. Farid’s expression was unreadable, he stared steadily at Severus now, his eyes betrayed hurt, sadness, loneliness, loss. This time Severus had to turn away and gulp down a large lump in his throat which threatened to choke him.

“So we came up with this,” he said, taking the parchment on which he and Hermione had worked for most of the morning. “The bond seemed to restrict me from certain options, and the wording seemed to also be restricted by it. Every time I tried to write something that went against its restrictions I would feel a sharp pain in my chest. But, thanks to lots of work, and a good deal of trial and effort, we produced something that is at least workable I think.

“It is a list of your rights, given to you by me in accordance with the restrictions of the bond and witnessed by Hermione and Draco and Ron. I would have liked to have asked you for your opinion, but I do not think that the bond would have let me. I have tried to allow for a little leeway, however. May we read it together?”

Farid nodded and moved a little closer to Severus on the sofa. Severus could feel the boy’s leg pressed close against his own and felt his warm breath on his hand as he opened the parchment and began to read:

“ I, Severus Tobias Snape,

Do hereby gift my Slave, Harry James Potter, more commonly known as Farid and hitherto referred to as such, the following rights, which are his to enjoy and will, once gifted to him, not be removed by myself for any reason whatsoever as long as we both shall live:

1. Farid has the right to say no to any sexual demands that he does not wish to participate in, whether those demands come from myself or anyone else;
2. Farid has the right to refuse to undertake any task, unless it is a direct order, as the bond itself demands complete obedience to direct orders given by myself, Severus Tobias Snape;
3. Farid has the right to refuse to be owned or used by anyone else and can fight to the death against any potential future owner or Master who might wish to take ownership away from Severus Tobias Snape or use him for any reason whatsoever not specified in his hearing by Severus Tobias Snape;
4. Farid has the right to all and any monies gifted to him by his parents for his exclusive use;
5. Farid has the right to ownership over all possessions gifted by Severus Tobias Snape and by others at the discretion of same;
6. Farid has the right to negotiate with Severus Tobias Snape if he is requested to do something that he does not wish to do, or that he is uncertain about, or if he wishes to do something that he has not been given prior permission to do;
7. In an emergency situation, Farid is allowed to ignore all previous constraints and orders in order to help others or to ensure his own safety.

These rights are granted wholeheartedly and without any restrictions whatsoever.

Signed,

Severus Tobias Snape

Witnessed

Hermione Jane Granger
Draco Lucius Malfoy
Ronald Bilius Weasley

December !4th 1998.”

He had read the document, that he and Hermione had worked so hard on, slowly and carefully so that Farid could read along, ensuring to point to every word and taking time to sound out the longer words, and as usually happened when they read the paper together, or one of the many letters that they received Farid mouthed the words as his Master read them out.

When he finished reading, he reached under the sofa upon which they sat, and pulled out an intricately carved wooden box. He opened it and handed the key to Farid. “This is your box, Farid,” he said. “It is for your exclusive use. Inside, I have put your wand, photographs of your parents that Remus and Black gave me and, of course, the key to your vault. The key that you hold is the only one to the box, and I promise that will never demand it back from you or seek to look inside with out your permission.

“These are the rights that I was able to give you Farid and, unless I can one day set you free, it is the best that I can do for now. But I have tried to give you as many options as I could; I don’t want to restrict you more than I have too. I really wish that I could set you free. But aside from that, this is the best option that I can come up with, at least for now anyway.”

When Severus had finished speaking Farid was silent, subdued. He sat staring at the bundle of fur curled in his lap, clutching the parchment that Severus had just handed him. For a moment he caught Severus’ eye, a look of complete astonishment on his face, tears sparkled in his eyes and he opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again, obviously at a loss for words. Then he looked down at his lap again, still silent, still subdued.

“Do you understand what I have said, Farid?” Severus asked.

“Jes Masteerr.” Farid whispered, and then, looking up intently at Severus, “May I sit and zink about it? Joost for a vhile?”

“If that is what you choose to do, then of course you may,” Severus answered gently. “But I am tired right now, my love, so I am going to bed.” He placed a kiss on Farid’s head and stood and headed toward the bedroom.

“Masteer?” Farid said.

Severus stopped and turned, “Yes, love?” he answered.

“Ze kitten, I zink I shall call chim Tariq. It mean Morning Star. I zink zat zuit chim, no?”

The boy’s question was tentative; he peered up through his eyelashes as if expecting rejection or refusal.

“I think that is a wonderful name, Farid. I think it will suit him very well.”

The small, thankful smile that Farid shot him at that statement sent Severus to bed feeling as though he were walking on air.