One wish alone have I

Chapter 24 (part 2)
How it ended… and began

Nothing happened.

Well… nothing we both expected happened. The sword did go through my throat, but it did not slice it at all; it merely passed through it as if it were going through thin air, and the “cut” shone in a dazzling golden light. Severus dropped the sword to the floor as soon as it hit the wall and looked at me, breathless and wide-eyed like a wounded animal. We stayed like that, trembling, for a while before either of us could move.

“Antanasia?” he finally panted. “What happened? I gave you a direct hit, I swear!”

“I do not know, Severus!” I replied, in a quivering voice. “I do not feel anything!”

“Not anything or not any pain?” he asked, walking closer.

“No pain! How can it be possible?”

“Merlin!” he screamed, a brutal wave of understanding seizing his features. “The glow! The golden glow! Someone took the hit for you, Antanasia!”

“What?” I exclaimed.

“Yes! That golden light… this is what shines when someone establishes a Possessimency link with somebody else and wounds are inflicted! Do you feel pain in your chest?”

“No! But I am starting to feel very strange, Severus!” I replied, feeling a rising panic as my body slowly started to feel like it was not in my control anymore… or was it precisely the feel of control coming back?

“I will try to remove the dagger very carefully, ok?” he said, trying to sound reassuring as he put two trembling hands on the serpent-shaped handle. “If you feel pain, you tell me.”

“Ok…”

Severus pulled delicately on the dagger, creating tiny sparkles of gold around the wound. I did not feel any pain from the procedure, but felt very nauseous and dizzy, and all my extremities started to prickle at once. Severus was not able to dislodge the dagger from the wall, so after struggling with it for a few minutes, he finally had to put a foot on the wall and pull on the weapon with all his might. We both let out a surprised gasp when the blade slid out of my chest, making Severus fall flat on the floor. I soon joined him, my weak knees not being able to support me any longer. We both looked at the bloodstained blade in bewilderment, while a renewed golden light emanated from the wound on my chest, closing it almost completely. A split second later, Madam Pomfrey, Minerva, and Albus ran through the doorframe of our bedroom and came to us.

“By Merlin, what happened here?” exclaimed Albus in a very shaken voice.

“Antanasia got attacked by Malfoy, Albus!” Severus explained, as the Headmaster helped him get on his feet and Minerva vanished the Dark Mark above our heads.

“We need to get her to the hospital wing, and quickly!” said Poppy’s authoritarian voice. “She needs magical and medical attention right now!”

“Her wounds have healed already, Poppy,” explained Severus. “It appears that someone was linked to her through Possessimency…”

“Her wounds are all right, though her chest is still bleeding, but it is not what worries me the most. Look!”

Moving aside, she let them see the altered state I was slowly slipping into. My breathing was very fast and whistling, my eyes were open wide and all the muscles in my body were completely tense. I really did not feel well and was starting to slowly lose the use of my sight and hearing.

“Severus? Severus, what is happening to me? Is the baby all right?” I articulated in a terrified voice.

“I don’t know what is happening to you, my love,” he said, trying to sound reassuring as he kneeled at my side and grabbed my hand, which was covered in cold sweat. “But from what I feel, the baby only went through a lot of stress, and nothing more.”

“You have to take her out!” I exclaimed, speaking out the primal instinct that seized me. “Now! Take her out! My body is letting me down… the magical bounds are disappearing!”

“She is telling the truth, I’m afraid,” said Poppy after a quick check. “Your bounds are deteriorating… but only because you are going into labour, Antanasia!”

“What? Now?” I said, hesitating between feelings of joy and fear.

“It is not surprising, given the shock you just went through,” commented Poppy, who conjured a floating stretcher next to me on the floor.

“I am only at the end of my thirty-sixth week; she is still too young!” I protested.

“I have seen worse, Antanasia!” replied Poppy in a voice that still betrayed her worry. “I agree with you, this is not ideal… but we can deliver her safely all the same. Trust me,” she added, taking a few seconds to trap my worried eyes in her self-assured glance, “it can be done, and you will soon have her in your arms.”

“How can we help?” asked Minerva, whose face appeared very blurred to me.

“Please, keep the students out of the way,” requested Poppy. “Severus and I will take her to the hospital wing at once.”

“Severus,” I panted, planting my nails in his hand. “This is more than labour! I am sure of what I say! Something is not right, I can feel it!”

I did not really hear what he replied, for I let out a long scream of panic and pain. My body, as I feared, let me down completely and I started to convulse and twitch uncontrollably on the floor. I vaguely felt the floor become softer as Poppy magically conjured a mattress underneath me so I would not hurt myself more. And then, a burning, excruciating pain crept through my whole body, in each of my limbs, underneath my skin, through my veins, inside my lungs in the very air I breathed….

Just as I was starting to taste the incredible turn of fate my afterlife had taken, afterlife was being snatched away from me. My heart sank into indescribable despair…

Breathing was what gave me a beginning of understanding. It became painful and difficult… as if I were drowning… in a pond filled with air. I did not know if I should let it in or not, but I realised after a while that, if I stopped for too long, I actually had the reflex to gulp for air, no matter how much it hurt. It was becoming… necessary. And then, that burning sensation in my body, everywhere… it started to make sense. Something was moving inside of me… my blood! My blood, which I could always feel so accurately, given my cainite senses, did not reach my senses the way it did anymore… it was beginning to flow, however. And as it started to fill my veins in that new way, I felt yet another powerful stab in my chest. My terror gradually became freckled with amazement… everything was making sense indeed….

I found Severus’ hand through the silent darkness I was plunged in, and pressed it feverishly against my left breast. His hand jerked in shock, and was soon replaced by his ear. Oh, how reassuring was the weight of his head over me! I would have held him there in a tight embrace far longer, had my limbs obeyed me faster.

“Poppy!” exclaimed his voice in astonishment, reaching my ears at last. “She is coming back to life!”

“Impossible!” she gasped.

“Feel it for yourself! Her heart started beating!”

Dark shadows slowly dissipated before my eyes, and the outlines of Poppy and Severus’ faces became more definite with each passing second. I reached for his face, but realised that he was already holding my hand very tight. Poppy held my other hand in hers, checking my pulse on my wrist.

“By Merlin, you are right!” she said, in complete surprise.

“Life will never cease to amaze me…” commented Albus quietly, in a joyful tone.

“Her face…” observed Minerva, “look!”

I widened my eyes in worry and put both my hands on my face, but Severus grabbed them feverishly again, brought them to his mouth, and helped them get warm with his hot breath.

“You are beautiful, my love,” he tenderly said. “Your blood is flowing again… it is just bringing a healthy flush to your cheeks and lips…”

“I… can… feel it,” I articulated, as the dizziness and nausea started to vanish.

Colours… sounds… shapes… textures… they were not so different, but still, I felt like my senses perceived things in a way I would have to get used to. I felt a bit lost, at first, without my cainite senses. For one thing, I could not perceive as many different tones in my lover’s voice; I worried that I might not be able to read him as well as I did before. I was wrong. A close look at his eyes reassured me at once; at least I had not lost the capacity to feel the modulations of his soul and heart. My lips stretched into a feeble smile at long last, which he kissed lovingly.

“You are alive, my love,” he whispered, shedding discreet tears of joy on my cheeks between his kisses, “you will live!”

“We still have to bring her to the hospital wing, Severus,” reminded Poppy, putting a commanding hand on our shoulders. “I’m positive she is going into labour!”

“Can my transformation hurt our daughter, Poppy?” I asked, realising the consequences of my physical change.

“I will be honest with you, Antanasia… I have no idea! There is no reported case of a vampire coming back to life, ever! Your vital signs might be very unstable for a while, not to mention the impact a delivery might have on them; I fear we will have to perform surgery at once.”

“Ok,” I said, swallowing my intense disappointment. “All I want is for my daughter to be safe.”

“Minerva, can you contact St Mungo’s and have an obstetric surgery team Floo here shortly? Tell them we have a two hundred and eighty-four years old vampire in the first stage of labour who just went through shock and needs surgery right now. We cannot get her there, not in her state; they will have to come here.”

“Understood. Leave it to me,” replied Minerva, before her resolute steps echoed away from us.

“I will talk to the prefects, Poppy, and contact you when the way is clear,” declared Albus before he gave me an encouraging wink and followed Minerva outside.

Severus helped Minerva levitate me on the stretcher. My body still ached, but in more logical places: my back was killing me and my belly was as hard as stone. As the stretcher started moving towards the door, I felt a popping sensation and warm liquid flowed abundantly between my thighs.

“Everything is fine, Antanasia!” Poppy declared, gesturing me to remain calm and sitting back on the stretcher. “The liquid is nice and clear.”

“How come she broke her water so soon?” asked Severus while Poppy vanished the mess with a flick of her wand and floated me through the corridor.

“It happens,” replied the witch.

“I was able to fight Lucius and his two men for quite a while before they got the better of me,” I explained with a short breath. “The battle itself, and maybe a few shocks I might have received, could explain many things…”

“Maybe, but your transformation definitely gave it the final push,” commented Poppy. “What is Albus doing, for Merlin’s sake? We do not have all day!”

Poppy did not remain inactive during the wait, of course. Unbuttoning my robes open, she uncovered the wound on my chest and started disinfecting it. I was very fortunate; the wound that remained was rather superficial and my heart seemed left intact. A sudden and strong contraction tore a moan out of my throat. Severus sat next to me on the stretcher and caressed my face tenderly. When his dark eyes plunged into mine, they revealed a clear intention he had in mind.

“Legilimens,” he murmured.

“Severus… you do not need to do this,” I mentally argued.

“I know… but I feel completely useless here!”

“This is usually how men feel in moments like this! I can manage, do not worry!”

“Antanasia… I promised you I would be with you through the whole journey,” he firmly pleaded. “I left you alone this morning… and look what happened! Can’t you let me try to do this for you at least?”

“If it is that important… go ahead… but please be discreet!”

Severus nodded his understanding and bent forward so his mouth would come very close to my ear. He gave a soft kiss on my temple and murmured the incantation I finally heard for the first time… the incantation that had made the miraculous passage from afterlife to human life possible for me.

“Pericula defendere… protego antes doloris!” he repeated, again and again until the link became stronger between our minds, our souls, and reached to our bodies as well.

A sharp intake of breath next to my ear told me that he was taking a part of my pain on his shoulders… or rather in his lower back, for one of his hands instinctively reached for it when a contraction seized me again. Seeing him exhale slowly as the pain subsided, I could not resist but smile teasingly.

“I have told you before… witches can handle physical pain much better than wizards do! And this is only the first stage, darling! Are you sure you do not prefer for me to take a Pain-control potion?”

“No, I can manage!” he replied, giving me a tense sneer. “I was merely caught by surprise.”

“As you wish… but I will break the link if you take it all on yourself, Severus,” I warned severely.

“All students are back to their dormitories,” said Albus, walking down a few stairs in the staircase that led to the dungeons while Poppy finished closing the wound magically on my chest. “Except for the Slytherins, of course; they are in the Great Hall and Minerva is keeping an eye on them. Which makes me think, Poppy… should we move the young Malfoy to another place?”

“What happened to him?” asked Severus, rather dryly.

“You happened to him,” retorted Poppy. “He had a bad fall after you pulled him down from his broom; he broke two ribs and received a light concussion when his head hit the seats. For once, he was squealing about something worth it.”

“What did you do to him, Severus?” I asked in alarm.

“I borrowed his broom to get here faster after I saw the Dark Mark,” he explained, without the slightest trace of regret. “I might have been a bit careless in the way I took it from him, though.”

“Is he all right?” I asked Poppy.

“Yes, yes, he is,” she answered, while she moved the stretcher upstairs and through the main hall. “I mended his bones on the spot and we brought him to the hospital wing. I’m not sure it would be a good idea if he were there when we arrive.”

“I will see to that,” said Albus, walking through the Great Hall’s doors, probably with the intention of Flooing the hospital wing.

When we finally arrived there, the ward was empty. With a sharp wave of her wand, Poppy drew heavy curtains over every window and moved all the beds except one to the back of the room, where they piled up against the wall. Severus deposited me on the remaining bed, which Poppy enlarged for my comfort, and then he took place in a chair next to me, seemingly unable to find something better to do.

“Here, drink this,” she said, pouring a smoking purple liquid into a large goblet. “At thirty-six weeks, the baby is almost fully developed, but this will help. I have seen that potion do miracles in very little time.”

“The baby is in no mortal danger regarding the birth process anyway,” commented Severus as I drank.

“Right…” she thoughtfully said. “But not if Antanasia’s transformation affected her, too.”

“It probably did not, Poppy,” I concluded, after musing over the possibility. “Nothing was done to her body to break the curse.”

“Either way, even if it is useless, the potion can only help if you are wrong,” declared the nurse, who obviously preferred to be the one in charge. “What did Minerva say about St Mungo’s Healers?” she asked, turning to Albus, who walked back into the room with Floo powder still clinging to his robes.

“They should be here any minute,” he replied with a reassuring smile. “You can be sure Minerva made quite a point that it was urgent. Severus, my boy… are you in pain?” he asked, looking at a wincing Severus with an amused smile.

“It’s nothing,” Severus said, as naturally as he could but still sitting quite straight in his uncomfortable chair. “Just back pain.”

“I see,” he commented, the tone of his voice matching the twinkle in his eyes. “Well, if you do not need me, I guess I should give you some privacy. I will make the necessary arrangements for you to leave Hogwarts as soon as it is safe for Antanasia and the child to do so.”

He barely had the time to lock the doors behind him when the team from St Mungo’s started to emerge from the large fireplace. A small witch with short black hair and sparkling large green eyes walked to Poppy with quick little steps and held out her hand.

“I am Healer Barkley; I guess you are Madam Pomfrey?” she asked, shaking hands vigorously with the matron as others gathered around me and prepared me for the surgery, carefully watched by a very tense Severus, who got up and stood aside.

“Indeed! I am glad you could make it in so little time!” she replied.

“Professor McGonagall told me about the situation, but surely I misunderstood her. She said our patient was a vampire, but became human and went right into labour after receiving a series of shocks…”

“I know it sounds peculiar, but it is indeed the most accurate description of what our situation is, Healer,” replied Poppy very seriously.

“By Merlin! If you are right, she needs medical attention at once indeed! Good morning; something tells me you are the mother-to-be?” she said.

She gave me a warm smile and shook my hand just before her assistants created a magical field, which blocked my view, to prevent me from reaching for my belly.

“And from the look on your face, surely you are the future dad?” she added, turning to Severus.

“Indeed,” he said, with obvious pride despite his nervousness.

“Well! That’s perfect; we have everybody we need!” she joyfully replied, trying to ease the tension. “Your daughter will be out in barely a few minutes. I will talk you through, ok?”

“Ok,” I gratefully said, feeling a big lump in my throat.

Once the team gathered around my lower body, Severus went back on his chair and moved it very close to my shoulder, which allowed him to see beyond the magical field and still be very close to me. I instinctively grabbed his hand and kept it pressed against my chest to give me comfort. When he turned to me and our glances crossed, I put an end to the Possessimency link that united us, despite his protestations. He did not have the time to argue for long, however; Poppy soon gave me a powerful Pain-control potion especially brewed for women in labour that numbed every sensation from my waist down. She then proceeded, with the rest of the team, to put on several pairs of gloves and thick masks that would protect them from any contact with cainite blood.

Speaking reassuringly to us, Healer Berkley did as promised and talked to us constantly through the whole procedure. Severus, whose eyes kept alternating between the two sides of the magical field, first frowned, and then his eyebrows raised in an astonished expression, just before his lips stretched into a large smile while I felt a strong feeling of pressure in my abdomen. A second later, I heard with relief and emotion a strong and vigorous baby’s cry… my baby’s cry!

“And congratulations, it is a splendid little witch! Does the father want to cut the umbilical cord?” asked the Healer.

“Go ahead,” I encouragingly whispered, while Severus rose from his seat.

When he came back, his smile had broadened and his black eyes were filled with tears of joy.

“She is adorable!” he said between kisses. “She looks like you!”

“Hello Mum!” said the Healer, lifting the baby above the magical field for me to see her. “I’ll go clean up and be with you in a minute!”

She was indeed adorable, and though the Healer suggested she needed to be cleaned up, the fact she was covered in blood did not bother me at all, as you can imagine. While the Healer went through the rest of the medical procedures, I watched Poppy and another mediwitch as they cleaned our little girl, put a tiny pointy hat on her head and wrapped her in a warm white blanket… on which Poppy charmed a few pink flowers, “because I am an old sentimental witch who had never delivered a baby at Hogwarts before,” she said with emotion, before she handed me the precious little package.

At that precise moment, I thought I would never be able to tear my eyes away from her. My eyes explored her features over and over tirelessly, and when the magical field was removed and my bed adjusted to give me a better position, Severus and I unwrapped her and counted her fingers and toes again and again and made sure she had all the right parts… and of course, she did. He had exaggerated a little, however, when he said that she looked like me. Just like the baby I had seen in visions, she had very dark eyes already, and her face was a very pleasant mix of both our features.

When I passed her from my arms to Severus’, however, she started crying again, apparently a little distressed to lose contact with her mother. It increased Severus’ uneasiness and initial clumsiness as he tried to install her comfortably in his arms while giving a constant support to her head, a gesture he was obviously not really used to. However, when he asked me if he was holding her the right way, she suddenly stopped crying, turned her face to him and fixed him with her eyes wide open, even though she could not really see him.

“She… she recognized my voice!” he softly exclaimed, smiling at her very tenderly.

“Of course, my love… she knows who her father is!”

“I am here, my little one… I swear I will protect you… always,” he murmured caringly, letting the irresistible charm of that vulnerable being steal his heart.

The Healer’s team soon took her away from our arms to make a more thorough medical check, of course, but our eyes stayed fixed on her all the same. She protested quite a bit when a mediwitch took a sample of her blood for medical tests, and she even tried to bite her. I giggled when I saw her use her already sharp cainite reflexes; she was fast enough to bite the poor witch’s little finger with her toothless gums!

“That’s my girl!” whispered Severus in my ear, sharing my amusement discreetly while the “nearly Kissed” witch shook the faint stinging away from her finger.

Once the Healer was reassured that the baby was in a stable state, she started a medical check on me herself that seemed to drag on for ages. Frowning several times, she finally turned to me with a very puzzled smile.

“If it were not from for the baby I held in my hands, I would never believe that you were a vampire before,” she declared. “Everything tells me that you are one hundred percent human.”

“What about her health? Will she be all right?” asked Severus gravely.

“You are not in the best of shape, but you suffer from nothing that a long rest cannot take care of,” she told me. “I suggest you keep to the bed for several days; you do not want to put too much stress on the surgery wound anyway.”

“And what about my age?” I asked. “How does it affect my physical condition?”

“Like I said, nobody could tell that you were a vampire before,” she explained. “Your body’s aging process halted when you were reborn. I assume it will simply go back to normal and resume exactly where it stopped, if it has not already done so. However… do you have any idea how your transformation occurred? You know it goes against every medical book I have read on vampires’ healthcare!”

“No idea whatsoever,” I replied, and Severus shrugged his shoulders while Poppy merely frowned and turned her attention back to the surgery equipment she was cleaning.

“Surely you can tell me a thing or two about how it happened!” Healer Berkley insisted, giving us a doubtful look. “I need to figure this out and report it in her medical file!”

“Healer,” intervened Severus in a very low but very imposing voice, “this morning, she was attacked by no less than three Death Eaters. I find myself incredibly lucky to see her and our child alive and well, but we have to think about fleeing to a hiding place as soon as possible, for our lives are still in a danger I do not want to underestimate. Why don’t we… stick to more urgent matters, please? Does the baby need constant medical attention?”

“My original recommendation was to have both mother and child to be transferred to St Mungo’s and kept under medical observation, but under the circumstances… the hospital might not be the safest place indeed,” she grimly admitted. “However, I just cannot advise you to go into hiding, far from any medical assistance with a premature child not even an hour old. I’m sorry.”

“I do not know exactly when we will have to do so, Healer, but we must consider it as a possibility, unfortunately. Is she out of danger?” insisted Severus while a mediwitch brought me my daughter back.

“Your child is a vampire; there is not much that can threaten her life other than sunlight and… the gruesome method we all know. However, the next few weeks will be crucial for her development, and think about it: she will be trapped with her body for an awful lot of time after she grows up,” explained the doctor severely, and then she looked at the three of us for a moment and gave out a long sigh. “Look. My father is a Muggle and I know what it is to fear for one’s safety these days. How familiar are you with handling potions?”

“I am the Potions Master here, and Antanasia was a Potions Mistress in Romania.”

“That changes things a bit,” she declared with a relieved smile. “Your baby will need to take a few potions to assist her growth, but the dosage will have to be recalculated each day depending on how well she reacts to the potions. Do you think you can handle it?”

“I think the two of us can figure it out,” I replied, feeling the sad reality cut short the sweetness of the experience we were having.

“Can you promise me that your daughter will be checked every week by a qualified mediwitch, at the very least, for the next two months?” added the Healer.

“Poppy, do you think…” asked Severus.

“Of course! You didn’t think I was going to let you down at this point, did you?” exclaimed Poppy resolutely. “It will be my pleasure.”

“Fine; I am a bit more reassured, then,” commented the Healer, before she followed Poppy to her office with a few rolls of parchment.

“My love… about the Possessimency link that allowed me to survive the breaking of my curse…” I began, taking the opportunity to discreetly talk to him through a Legilimency link. “I did not have any idea I was under the control of a Possessor, really! If I had known--”

“If you had known, you would have broken the link and that is exactly what my father did not want you to do,” he gravely interrupted, passing an arm around my shoulders and pressing us tighter against him.

“So you think it was him, too?”

“Who else?”

“But how could he have known, Severus? Other than me, only Ivantie knew about the attack in advance, and only because he was there when I was warned! He told Valerica and Cami, who told Remus, but all this happened out of my control!”

“Wait, wait, wait! You had been forewarned that Malfoy was going to attack you?”

“Yes! Remember last month when Ivantie asked to talk to me privately?”

I barely had the time to tell Severus about how I had met with my Sire in the Forbidden Forest before Poppy came out of her office with the Healer. Since the moment I understood I was going to live, I had feared Severus’ reaction to the Prophecy and the decisions I had made regarding it. Alas! His eyes were shining with worse than anger even before I had time to enunciate the Prophecy to him; they were filled with pained disappointment.

“I have received a message from the Headmaster,” announced Poppy when she reached our level. “Remus, a gentleman named Ivantie and a lady named Cami are here to see you; they said they need to talk to you as soon as possible about a very private matter.”

“Do you still need our assistance?” I asked the Healer.

“No, I am done here,” she declared with a soft smile, walking next to us with a few pieces of parchment in her hand. “Here, take these; they are your medical files and the baby’s birth certificate. As long as you keep those documents with you, neither of us has ever been here for any medical procedure… and of course, your baby is not officially born. This is the best I can do for you; you can count on our discretion. When you feel safe enough to go out of hiding, however, make sure you bring the documents to St Mungo’s, ok?”

“We will,” replied Severus. “Thank you, Healer.”

“You have all our gratitude,” I added, taking her offered hand.

“Good luck,” she concluded, before she headed for the fireplace with her team and Flooed back to the hospital.

“What shall I tell the headmaster?” asked Poppy after they were gone.

“If it is not asking too much, Poppy…” I uneasily began. “I would prefer to have a moment alone with Severus and the baby, say… one hour.”

“Of course, of course,” she replied. “I will tell them that you are all well; I am sure they will understand.”

Once Poppy retreated to her office, giving us the privacy I requested, I told Severus about the past twenty-three nights. The disappointment in his eyes got tainted with anger, as I expected, especially when I told him how Valerica and I had discouraged Ivantie’s attempts to prevent the attack.

“It is just as if… you have betrayed me,” he explained, once I finished my tale and inquired about his reaction.

“How many times have you kept me in the dark about what happened at the Death Eaters’ meetings I did not attend, Severus?” I asked, and he remained silent. “You did it because you believed it was the best thing to do for the two of us; I suspect you even did it to protect me, so I would not have dangerous information in my possession. Those were my reasons, too. I wanted to protect you and our daughter and I did what I thought best in the situation. Everything happened just like the Prophecy said it would.”

“You survived the attack,” he objected.

“I was reborn!” I softly exclaimed. “I just did not believe I would survive the process, obviously! And it happened just the way it said it would… by your hands, my Severus. Your hands freed me from my curse… and Lucius’ hands failed to take love from me twice because I fought him!”

The baby stirred in my arms and gave out a little sigh. Afraid our conversation might disrupt her peaceful sleep, I took one of Severus’ hands and spoke in a calmer tone.

“I know it is a very unpleasant surprise for you, Severus, and believe me, I was angry at you when you did the same to me, sometimes, even if I understood your reasons. I do not want to deny you your anger, but please, at least… give me your forgiveness! Can you give it to me?”

“My love,” he said, sitting next to me on the large bed and taking both of us in his long arms, “our daughter and you are the most precious people in my life. Of course you have my forgiveness! What is done is done… and you are alive. That is the most important thing.”

I pressed my forehead against the warmth of the side of his neck and I felt the disappointment still very present in his heart, but his voice was genuine and made me feel much better.

“However… someone had to pay a very high price for this to happen,” I said, thinking with sadness of Mr Snape’s sacrifice.

“Just like you did. You lost your immortality… he lost his life,” he gravely replied, holding me tighter. “Unless I am very mistaken, Antanasia, nobody forced him to make that gesture today.”

“Do you want to see our friends? Something tells me they have information for us regarding this…”

Ivantie came in first; the quickness of his steps and the eagerness on his face told me at once that he had probably been very uncooperative during the wait we imposed on him. He walked straight to my bed, with Cami and Remus at his heels, and pressed me into his arms, grabbing Severus on the way.

“By all the Gods, you are alive!” he exclaimed, while the baby awoke with a start and expressed her indignation with vigorous cries. “I just could not believe it until I saw you with my own eyes!”

“Careful, Ivantie! You are scaring the baby!” said Cami in a reproachful tone.

“Do not be too hard on him,” I replied, still trapped into Ivantie’s tight embrace with Severus, who seemed to hesitate between patting his back or pushing him away. “I think she will need to be fed soon anyway.”

Once Remus and Cami also expressed their relief and the baby travelled from arms to arms to finally come back to mine, Poppy brought chairs for everybody and then came back with a warm bottle filled with thick yellowish liquid.

“Just add a drop of your blood, Antanasia,” she said, holding out her wand for me to press my fingertip on it. “You can alternate with Severus from time to time; I even strongly suggest you do so. I have prepared it with the chart Healer Barkley gave me. I also added her first dose of Sun-blocking potion.”

The baby fought with me a little bit; with all the action going on around her and all the stress she had endured, she seemed a little distressed and fussed with the bottle’s nipple for a while before she finally set her mind on feeding and started to suck greedily at the liquid that had turned red at the contact of my blood.

“Now, please tell me about my father,” Severus gravely said.

“From the very beginning of the story,” I added, looking intensely at Ivantie.

He told us of how, in light of Valerica’s attitude about the Prophecy (which matched both mine and my Sire’s), he went to Cami and informed her of what he had heard that night. To his relief, Cami reacted exactly like him and refused to give in and let things happen my way. The same night, they went to the Headquarters and alerted Remus, who agreed that an attempt had to be made to save me, even against my will (to which Severus discreetly snorted, and thought that it was a very predictable attitude, coming from a heroism-seeking Gryffindor).

Together, they thought of many plans, but all of them required entering into Severus’ bedroom and participating in the fight. Even if they wanted to protect me, they were still aware that the Prophecy was not to be denied, and they were hesitant to provoke such a blunt diversion… until they came to the conclusion that I had to, somehow, be assisted during the fight without my knowledge.

It was Remus who thought of Possessimency. I had told him about Severus’ precious assistance during our fight against the cainite hunters in December, and answering his questions, I had told him about who had taught Severus those amazing skills and also assisted him so that the the Possessimency link was stable and efficacious. Given Severus’ still-present reliance on his father for that magical art, they agreed that it was best to contact Mr Snape directly.

Remus went to Hagrid and asked him if an owl had arrived with a letter for me during my absence at the end of last summer. Given the peculiar context in which he had had to bring that letter to my chamber, he remembered having received it indeed and that facilitated things a lot for him. Taking the chance that I had kept the letter, Remus sneaked into our quarters during late morning (while I was still sleeping and Severus was giving a lesson) and looked for it.

To my amazement (and small indignation at his cheek), he explained that his years of mischief activities at Hogwarts had given him all the training he needed to get what he wanted. My exhausted state during those periods of the day, anyway, would have probably prevented me from hearing even Hagrid, had he helped for the search, too. Remus’ fourth attempt was successful; he found the letter in a small box placed on the upper shelf of our closet.

With the address in hand, they were able to alert Mr Snape, and then Floo him to reveal the facts. After brief consideration, he finally agreed to meet them in a room they rented at The Three Broomsticks that same morning. He apparently informed them that he had taken the previous weeks to put his things in order, pay his debts, write his will (which they gave us) and a letter to his son.

“He was prepared to die,” said Cami sadly, “but he came with a very determined and calm attitude all the same.”

“Really, I admired his composure,” added Remus. “It was as if… he had no fear at all!”

“My father often gave that impression,” commented Severus. “Please continue.”

“Well, he established the link towards 9:00 as planned and remained concealed from Antanasia’s consciousness,” continued Remus, “because we did not want her to push him away. He assisted her during the fight, but not that much…”

“He said that you were fighting remarkably well,” added Ivantie. “He even told us that you were about to hex them out and all…”

“And then… the blow took us all by surprise,” concluded Cami. “We saw a golden light emerge from his chest and take the shape of a long dagger. The blade went very deep…”

“I know… it went right into the wall behind me,” I completed.

“He fell on his knees and we all asked him to cut the link and let us Apparate and fly to the castle, or to let Antanasia know of his presence so she would stop you before you gave her the final thrust, but…” said Remus, giving a powerless glance to Severus. “He pushed us away and told us to be quiet. He said he wanted to go through with it.”

“In a word, that he wanted to die,” remarked Severus, before I intertwined my fingers with his and tightened my grip.

“I guess it summarises it pretty much,” admitted Remus sombrely. “It was not too long before he… well, you know what happened.”

“Of course I know what happened; I am the one who held that sword in my hands and gave that blow,” said Severus with an impatient gesture. “Did he… say anything?”

“Nothing,” declared Cami emotionally, her eyes filled with tears. “But just before it happened, he smiled, closed his eyes and let out a long sigh.”

“I see,” commented Severus in a calmer tone before we all fell into a long and mournful silence. “What have you done with him?” he finally asked, very slowly.

“We did not leave him there, of course! I Flooed to my flat and brought my personal coffin; we Apparated him in it to… Remus’ place,” Ivantie cautiously answered, not knowing if Poppy knew of Grimmauld Place. “He has been resting there since this morning.”

“Very well. Thank you for everything,” Severus composedly replied. “Ivantie, I will compensate you financially for your coffin, of course; your price will be mine.”

“That will not be necessary, Severus,” protested Ivantie.

“Really, I insist; I do not want to be in your debt.”

“Severus! My friend!” said Ivantie warmly, grabbing Severus by his shoulders with an intensity and warmth that was very characteristic of him. “You bravely fought at my side for of a cause that was not even your own! Did you take stock of every injury and sorrow you got during those nights? Of course not. I lost my father centuries ago, but I still remember what it feels like. I offer to be at your side through this; will you really refuse it… brother?”

“No… thank you, Ivan,” he finally murmured in a very low voice, while Ivantie crushed him against his chest and clapped him loudly on the back.

After Severus agreed with Remus that he might come in the evening to pay his respects to his father (normal Order procedure also implied that a soon-to-be-Obliviated Healer would be brought to a flat to ascertain the death and sign the proper parchments so nobody would get into trouble), we moved to another important matter. We argued for a while about whether it was safer for us to move to the Headquarters or to stay at Hogwarts, and Albus, who joined us moments later, convinced us to stay, arguing that my attackers would certainly not dare to strike at Hogwarts twice. My physical state did not allow me to travel much for a few days anyway, so we accepted his proposition and he managed to have Smirky arrange new quarters for us in a remote and secret location in the castle that only the people present would know of. Ivantie insisted on sending Niculaie and Marcela to guard us until we could move to another place, which Albus accepted, as long as they promised to remain hidden from the students at all time.

Long after our friends left Hogwarts and we were settled in quite spacious and comfortable quarters in the north tower with Niculaie and Marcela guarding the door, Severus took out his father’s letter from his inner pocket and handed it to me, asking me softly to read it to him. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for any kind of message, but what I read was actually from the heart and very moving.

Dear Severus,

If this letter reaches you, it means that I am no longer part of this world. I would lie if I told you I do not regret it… but a part of me had lost the taste for life anyway, to be honest. It seems that I cannot drown my old demons as well as I did in the past, and it has become rather trying to face them every day. Before I leave for Hogsmeade, though, there are a few things I want you to know.

No matter what you thought as a young man and probably still think now, I did love your mother. She was precious to me, far more than you can imagine. You and Cordelia were the greatest gifts that life gave me; I was just not able to fully enjoy them as you deserved. I did my best to protect your mother from all dangers when she was alive; I just was not able to protect her from me… or from the harm she could do to herself. To put it bluntly, I have been a selfish monster towards you and her all my life… and I know I am not telling you anything you do not already know, to my deepest regret.

I was older than you are now when death took Cordelia away from me, and even then, I was far too young to lose my spouse. I do not want you to go through the same hell. Not you. If I may have deserved it, in a way, you do not. Take this as my gift to you, my son. It will not make up for the past, but it gives me a chance to do one thing right, at least; I am certainly not going to let it pass. No matter what Prophecies say, it is not Antanasia’s time to die; you need her, your child needs her, she still has so many wonderful things ahead of her!

I must say (since this is my chance to be honest and have you listen to me for a change), that she is a lovely woman. She seems very strong-willed, gifted and most importantly, she seems able to give you change for your money, son. You have chosen very well and you make me proud. It even seems that you are a real Snape, after all… I knew it when I saw you roar your love out loud, with words that were clumsy and badly chosen, as it is often the case when feelings are just too strong and overwhelm us… but I understood just how much that woman has caught you in her net.

Severus… let yourself be caught, wrap yourself into that net and try to work hard, each and every day, to deserve the right to be caught in there. This is your chance: seize it and be happy, my son. Life is too short, even in our world, not to enjoy every minute of it if you can. You have everything in your hands now to make it happen; do not repeat my lamentable mistakes. You can do far better… you already are.

Without further ado, I wish you good luck,

Dad

P.S. I laid it on thick when I insinuated that you were not able to perform Possessimency on your own. From what I saw the last time we met, Severus, you are in no need of further training; a little more practice will do the rest. Keep working.

When I finished reading, Severus gave out a loud snort… and another… and then, he broke out in a strange laughter that got gradually more strangled by the narrowness of his throat, until he simply buried his face in his hands, ran his fingers through his hair and leaned his elbows on his knees.

“The old control-obsessed warlock!” he exclaimed, half in amusement, half in ache, looking at me intensely with dry eyes. “Even in a moment like this, he tells me to keep working at it!”

I could have replied many things, for his father’s letter also showed just how much he understood him, in his own way, but I chose to remain silent. Severus was clever enough, I told myself, to figure out all this by himself if it was not already done.

“Are you sure you do not want me to come with you?” I asked, as he prepared to leave for the Headquarters after he gave our daughter her first evening meal. “I feel guilty for not being able to be with you in a moment like this.”

“No, do not feel bad; I prefer to go alone,” he assured. “I think it is time he and I have a unilateral conversation together… the other way.”

He promised me that he would be back before long and, after looking at us for a long moment, he vanished in the fireplace. Barely fifteen minutes later, however, I heard a quick and discreet knock at the door. To my surprise, it was Molly Weasley who passed the doorframe, carrying a large bag in her hands.

“No, don’t get up!” she quickly said, putting the bag on a desk and walking towards the bed I was on. “I really do not want to annoy you, but Remus told us about what happened to you… and I find it terrible,” she concluded, after letting out a tense sigh.

“I thank you for coming, Molly… really, it touches me,” I said with a tired smile. “Fortunately, Severus, the baby and I are all right.”

“Can I… do you think I could see her?” she asked in an uneasy voice, the motherly light in her eyes and the flush on her cheeks betraying her eagerness.

“Of course, Molly!” I exclaimed, taking the baby next to me and handing her to the witch, who smiled luminously as soon as she set her eyes on her.

A minute later, the baby was sleeping peacefully, curled up against her plump bosom. I admit I had feared her reaction a bit, given her past behaviour towards me and the many things that had made me a cainite. The baby’s face was as white as the moon, just like the rest of her skin; it was impossible to mistake her for a human. Nevertheless, Molly took her in her arms seemingly without second-guessing herself. Not once did she wince; not once did she look around for something to protect her hands or mouth. She just took her, nestled her against her and rocked her slowly while her eyes reflected nothing else than warmth and caring. And the reason for her reaction, not that I doubted it the least, came from her own mouth genuinely and spontaneously.

“Oh, Merlin! Seven of them and I still wish I could have one again!” she cooed, once she could detach her eyes from the sleeping form in her arms. “Did I wait to have my baby girl at last! And this little one is gorgeous, simply gorgeous!”

And naturally, she started telling me about the birth of her first child. We discussed what fears she had had, which were very similar to the ones I had, and on she went with all the little tricks and pieces of advice she had learned from giving birth and raising her numerous children. She went on and on, telling me about the first time Charlie had found her wand and had almost set the whole closet on fire before she found out why he was so quiet all of a sudden… how the twins kept changing Ron’s teddy bear into a spider to scare him when he was a toddler… how Percy took so long to finally talk (and would never stop afterwards) and how soon Ginny walked…

Recalling all those stories created many outbursts of giggles that eased things a lot between us, and before we knew it, two hours had flown away and Severus was walking out of the fireplace with a very surprised expression when he realised I had company. Molly promptly got up, gave him both her condolences and congratulations and, just as she was about to take a handful of Floo powder to go back home, she halted her gesture and went to the bag she had left on the desk.

“Silly me, I almost forgot!” she exclaimed. “This is the reason why I came in the first place. I figured out that you two probably did not have the time to buy many baby clothes, accessories and all, since the baby came unexpectedly soon… and came to offer you to do some shopping for you, if you want. And in the meantime, Arthur and I would be happy to give you these,” she explained, taking several baby’s robes, socks, hats, and even diapers out of the bag. “They were Ginny’s; I could never make myself give them away, but I think this is just the occasion. They are a little old-fashioned, of course, but they might be useful until you get proper clothes.”

“But those are proper clothes!” I argued, deploying a charming little yellow robe with a pattern of pale blue unicorns. “She will look beautiful in this!”

“Thank you for your gesture, Molly,” said Severus, taking one of her hands in both of his. “And thanks to Arthur. It means a lot to us.”

Blushing and smiling, Molly gave a last caress to the baby and, after accepting my invitation to come visit us soon, she disappeared in the fireplace. Severus did not say much about the visit he made to the Headquarters to pay his respects to his father. There was a definite easing of tension in his voice and body as he spoke of it, though, and I was glad to see him that way. We agreed that we would wait until I could get out of bed before we buried Mr Snape; it was very important for me to be there, for understandable reasons.

A few nights… sorry, a few days later, however, Albus told me that Severus made a stop in the Slytherins’ dormitories before he came back to our quarters that night. Professor Sinistra, who was assigned to the Head of Slytherin House as a temporary replacement, informed the Headmaster that Severus stormed into the dormitories and found Draco Malfoy in the common room, which was filled with students. He took out Lucius’ blood-covered dagger from one of his coat pockets and planted it in front of the young lad, who barely had the time to remove his hand before the blade went deep into the wooden table. Being far too stunned to move away, the young man stayed open-mouthed and speechless in front of Severus, who looked at him malevolently.

“This morning, I took this dagger out of my partner’s heart with my own hands, Draco,” he articulated, in a very intense but controlled voice. “And as you probably noticed, she was expecting.”

“W-was, sir?” he stammered in a shaky voice.

“Was. You know whose dagger this is; I do not need to tell you. Look at that blood, Draco. This is where that path will lead you. This is the only place it can lead you. When the time comes for you to make a choice, young man, think of this day and choose wisely. Take it as my very last lesson to you.”

And on this, he gave Draco a meaningful glance and left the deadly quiet room under the students’ astonished and shocked looks. From what Professor Sinistra told Albus, the young Malfoy kept his eyes fixed on the dagger for a long time and refused to speak to anyone. Long after the students retired to their respective dorm rooms, he finally pulled the weapon out of the table and went to bed. No matter what that lad’s choice will be (if he did not already make it), I take comfort in thinking that Severus gave him, at least, a very good chance to think over the matter thoroughly; a chance he fully seized.

It was barely ten in the evening when we fell asleep, but we were completely exhausted. Nevertheless, we received one late visit from Valerica who, wanting to come to our apartments at a “decent time”, arrived well past midnight. She had apparently not fully taken in the fact that I was not a cainite anymore! Severus and I were up, however, as a certain someone had requested our care and attention, and we were both very happy to see her. She informed us, while rocking a little bundle that was in complete awe and wonder to see a creature she instinctively recognized as one of her kind, that the Dark Lord had summoned Ivantie earlier in the evening. The latter was informed of my treason and did his best to preserve his good reputation. He apparently succeeded, as the meeting ended on calmer attitudes from both sides. There was no way for the Dark Lord to know about my close relationship with Ivantie, so it was easier for Ivantie to convince him that I was only one black sheep among the flock.

Some time after four in the morning, Severus woke up to find the bed emptied of my presence. He startled, sat up in alarm, and found me sitting by the window and keeping the curtains slightly open with one hand.

“What are you doing there?” he whispered reproachfully, tiptoeing to me so the baby would not wake up. “You should be in bed! The Healer told you not to put any stress on the surgery wound!”

“Oh, do not lecture me, Professor Snape,” I purred, taking his hand and pressing my cheek against his palm. “I wanted to look at the sunrise without sunglasses, for a change. It has been such a long time since the last time it happened!”

Severus frowned, and then seemed to muse over a cunning plan. When he seemed to reach a satisfying conclusion, he left my side and hastily put on his trousers and a white shirt, which he did not even tuck into his trousers and left half-open. He then took several blankets on the bed and wrapped them around me, before he lifted me in his arms.

“What are you doing?” I excitedly whispered, knowing that he had a nice surprise in mind for me.

“We are going to the tower’s roof, Madam,” he said, walking towards the door. “We will have a much better view there. However, it is still early May, you know…. You do not expect to stay warm in that light night robe of yours, no matter how gorgeous it makes you look?”

He broke the protective charms on the door, alerted Niculaie and Marcela of our eccentricity and asked them to kindly keep an eye on our daughter during our absence. Once we found ourselves comfortably seated on the roof (with the help of a few charms to smooth the surface and give us a safe place to sit on), I leaned back against Severus’ chest and pressed my temple against his cheek, curling up even closer between his arms and legs.

The scenery was totally familiar, and yet, I saw it with new eyes and it moved me deeply. First, everything that surrounded us was bathed in a clearer and clearer light; the sky turned to lighter shades of grey until it became a pale shade of yellow. In the east, the outlines of the mountains that hid the sun from us started to emit a golden shine, as if they had been hit by a spell. And just as the sky turned pink, I finally saw it. The sun, in all its morning glory, broke in an explosion of radiance and fire from behind that mountain and bathed everything in a soft glow, answering the hopeful singing of the birds. The lake became a mirror again and transformed into a myriad of little diamonds each time the wind caressed its surface. The timid grass, trying to pierce through the winter’s remains, appeared greener and the castle itself emerged from sleep and came to life before us.

“So,” murmured my lover next to my ear with his deep baritone, “is it the way you remembered?”

“A thousand times better,” I said with a lump in my throat. “It took my breath away! And it gave me an idea…”

“Tell me,” he replied, kissing my temple softly.

“What would you think of ‘Eilionoir’ for our daughter?” I asked. “It is a Gaelic name that means ‘light’. When I look at all these beauties around us right now, I can only find one thing that holds the comparison… and it is her.”

“Eilionoir,” he repeated. “I think it will suit her perfectly indeed. And while we are at it, what about you? What name would you prefer me to use now that you are not a cainite anymore?”

“I have given it some thought,” I answered, thinking of the way I had chosen to end my novel. “And I would prefer you to call me by my human name, but only if the change is not too drastic or strange for you. If it makes you uncomfortable, we can keep Antanasia.”

“It will take me some time to adapt, but I do not see why I should not use it, for your human name is quite charming… my Deirdre.”

“Thank you,” I said, turning my head and giving him a long unhurried kiss, a thing we had not fully enjoyed for quite a while.

“Now, there is one other thing we should make special today, and it is your breakfast,” he said after a few minutes of tender silence.

“Really? Why?” I asked, a bit puzzled.

“Yesterday was so chaotic that I completely forgot to ask you if you wanted to have something special for your first meal as a human. Better late than never; would you like to taste any kind of food in particular?”

“Oh, there is something that has made me curious since a long time,” I admitted with a smile, “but I do not think it is really suitable for breakfast.”

“Who said it had to be suitable?” he replied. “What is it?”

“Well… I have always wanted to try ice cream,” I said, blushing slightly. “Chocolate ice cream. I even heard two witches say that it is even better than sex! Surely that must be quite something to taste!”

“I do not know about the comparison with sex,” he laughed, “but I do know where to find the best ice cream in Hogsmeade. I will ask Smirky to get us some as soon as possible.”

This is how I based my first human breakfast in a long time on chocolate ice cream… with brownies and hot fudge. Once I went over the coldness it produced in my mouth (a feeling I was completely estranged with), I actually liked it a lot, and did not need any help to finish my full bowl.

But somehow, my dear Eilionoir… I must say that the rule those two witches talked about does not seem to apply to ice cream when it comes to your father.

AUTHOR’S NOTES

As always, thanks for your patience! And remember... reviewing will not hurt you, I promise! Why don\'t you give it a try? ;o)

I am profoundly touched by the reviews you posted for chapter 23... thank you, and I hope the last few chapters (I still have two posts to make, which are ready and just have to go through the queue on Occlumency) will please you!