Love, Lies & Loneliness

Chapter 37
(Seek and you shall find)

Down in the potions classroom Harry sat quietly at his and Draco’s usual bench, his books already open in front of him and a cauldron of water already coming to the boil over the magical flame. He was far too early for the class, lunch not due to end for another half an hour but Harry wasn’t in the mood to return to his rooms, and there was no point in hanging about the common room with nothing other than brooding to do. Getting up off his stool Harry moved over to the ingredients cupboard and began to slowly gather the necessary items for the week’s potion they were due to be starting that day. Grabbing a few jars of ingredients Harry returned to his desk and began finely slicing the Shrivelfig. In the quiet of the classroom Harry’s anger had slowly receded leaving him feeling defeated and his privacy violated.

“Bit early for potions aren’t we?” Harry didn’t look up from his perfect slices of Shrivelfig as he heard Draco come into the classroom and take up the seat beside him. Harry merely shrugged his shoulders and continued what he was doing. Draco sighed heavily and got out his own textbook and notes and began helping Harry prepare the ingredients for the potion in silence.

Before long the pair of them had added most of the ingredients to the potion and were now timing its simmering as they began taking observation notes, about the liquid and vapours being born from the cauldron.

“You’re more like him than you realise you know?” Finally Draco it seemed had had enough of the silence and put his quill down in the margin of his notepad so as not to spoil his neatly written work. “He comes down here and makes a potion if he’s angry or miserable. He says there’s something therapeutic about slowly stirring a bubbling cauldron.” Harry smiled silently at hearing Draco comparing him to Snape; somewhat agreeing with the professor as he reached forward and gave the cauldron it’s required two stirs right and one stir left. When Harry didn’t make to speak and so Draco continued cautiously as not to upset his friend further. “If there’s anything you want me to hide upstairs in your room I can go and do it now for you, I’ll put it under my bed until that jackass has gone back to the ministry?” Draco looked watched cautiously as Harry shook his head in reply.

“No, there’s nothing up there to incriminate Snape so he can look all he wants he won’t find anything.” Harry sighed in defeat and went back to his observation notes. Draco nodded in silence and again stirred the cauldron this time the opposite way just as the text told them to.

“He’s already searched Snape’s things this morning apparently. I overheard Flitwick talking to Hagrid while I was walking to Quidditch practice this morning.” Again Harry sighed but didn’t say anything as the rest of the students began coming into the room, lunch having obviously come to an end. Hermione smiled sympathetically at Harry who nodded at her in acknowledgement before turning back to is cauldron as Snape strode into the room, closely followed by the evil little bastard from the ministry. Reaching the front of the class Snape spun the chalk board around to reveal the day’s potion ingredients and it’s brief history before turning back to face his class that had already gotten their cauldron’s out from beneath their benches. Snape’s gaze came to rest on Harry and Draco’s cauldron that was already simmering away in a haze of yellowish steam. Taking a step towards their bench Snape inspected the contents of cauldron by dipping in a small glass-stirring rod and pulling it out again. Harry stared at Snape’s face as he watched the man inspect the yellow liquid dribble down the stick before Snape looked up at Harry his eyebrow slightly raised in curious interest.

“Well done Mr Potter, Mr Malfoy the consistency is quite remarkably accurate. Ten points to Gryffindor and Slytherin.” Putting the stirring rod back in its holder on the desk Snape moved back to the front of the room to address the rest of the class. “I have your final pair projects marked with additional comments and will meet briefly with each individual pair during today’s class to discuss your marks. While you are not with me you will begin this weeks potion and prepare your observation diary’s for submission, which I will remind you are due at the end of the week.” Snape moved around to his desk and sat down, pulling out from his desk drawer a small pile of parchment, which were obviously the marked essays. “You may start immediately, Mr Malfoy, Mr Potter seeing as though you are ahead of the class you may be first to receive your marks.” Almost immediately everyone got to work on the weeks potion, having already taken the notes on it as usual in the last class before the weekend last week. Setting a warning spell over their cauldron Harry and Draco approached Snape’s desk and took the two seats Snape charmed from two empty potion bottles. Harry was acutely aware that the minister who had been sitting at the back of the class up until now had now moved to stand behind the two boys who were sitting at Snape’s desk. Harry could feel the man’s presence so close behind him and clenched his fists in his lap as the man hovered suspiciously above them.

“Is there something you want Minister?” Snape pulled Harry and Draco’s assignment out from within the pile of student work and looked up distastefully at the Minister who was hovering over the boy’s shoulders.

“No Professor Snape, just interested in the assessment you gave the students.” Snape looked a little miffed at the Minster’s casual prying. It was only the first day of classes and Snape was already beginning to hate being watched constantly, and having to check over his shoulder every five minutes. There was no way he was going to last all week, especially knowing the Minister was watching Harry closely now too.

”I am exceptionally pleased with the effort you put in to this project. The research was well founded and despite some minor errors it is certainly above the standard I had hopped for from the two of you. Some points you may wish to think about before final exams, I have noted at the bottom of which I will leave you to read in your own time. If you keep this standard up for next year there is a good possibility that you will both do very well in your Newts for this subject.” Snape looked pleasantly pleased as he handed over the assignment which in bright red ink, had a mark of 18 out of 20 scrawled across the top in Snape’s familiar handwriting. Draco practically beamed as did Harry, having never received such a mark so high in potions.

“Cool.” Draco took the assignment and began eagerly flipping through it. Harry however remained where he was and let his eyes fall to the desk top aware of the minister still hovering over his shoulders.

“You can return to your desks and finish bottling your potion, when you are done you may both continue some private study until the end of class.” Harry nodded and pulled on Draco’s arm, the Slytherin still excitedly flipping through the assignment as Harry led him back to their bench. Snape called the next pair just as Harry sat down and began carefully bottling their potion for grading. Draco put the essay down to help Harry clean up. For the entire lesson Harry felt the minister’s gaze on him, constantly watching everything he did and it unnerved him a little.

Finally though the class was over and Harry followed Draco swiftly to the library. As before in their free study periods the two boys had taken up studying together for the classes they shared. Sitting at their normal table in the corner of the library under a small window the boys got out their books as if to look like they were actually doing something.

“That dick head didn’t take his eyes off you all class Harry, and I was sure he was reading your notes over your shoulder at the end there.” Draco sympathetically swapped his potions observations with Harry as they’d done for the past year, each boy comparing so that they got the most detailed observations they could from their potions making.

“He’s a fucking idiot, what is he waiting for me to do? Jump on Snape’s desk and take him in hand for fucks sake?” Draco chuckled at hearing the usual Harry Potter sarcasm creep back into the boy’s voice, after the disaster of lunch.

“Probably.” Draco shrugged his shoulders and then pointed out at the Quidditch pitch they could see from the window. “Do you want to hear my scheme now?” Harry looked up brightly from his notes and nodded needing something if anything to take his mind off the Minister. “Good cause it’s going to be so worth the risk.” Harry didn’t like taking risks especially when it involved someone else’s life and job but the way Harry was feeling at the moment he couldn’t have cared less if he’d have been caught by the minister with his pants around his ankles, cock in hand screaming Snape’s name as he came. That was a pleasant picture and Harry smiled secretly to himself as Draco leaned in closer and lowered his voice. “Right well you know how Hooch is off on vacation for the rest of the year, and Professor Hill has taken over her flying classes and Quidditch?” Harry nodded curious to see what the Slytherin mind had cooked up. “Well Professor Hill was supposed to be refereeing tomorrow’s Quidditch match but after the accident with the first years this morning, Dumbledore’s asked Snape to referee.” Harry’s mouth hung open clearly shocked at this piece of news. “Apparently aside from Hooch and Hill, Snape’s the only other professor at Hogwarts who knows the rules of Quidditch well enough to referee.” Draco continued pleased as he saw a mischievous smile light up Harry’s face.

“I get to see Snape on a broom?” Draco nodded enthusiastically his own mischievous smile on his face.

“Not only that I’m going to make sure you see Snape without clothes on.” Draco’s voice dropped a whole octave to become almost mysteriously dark and sexy and Harry could hardly stop the shiver that ran down his spine at the prospect of seeing a naked Snape.

“How?” Harry inquired his own voice dropping to barely above a whisper as some second year girls passed by to get to the reading area.

“Well Snape usually only takes his showers in the early mornings, in his own private chambers but a little birdie told me that the teachers have a communal bath up on the third floor, much like the prefects have their own communal bathrooms.” Harry nodded, he knew about the teacher’s bathroom having seen it on the marauders map several times while he’d been sneaking about. Admittedly he’d never dared go up there but then he’d never had any need to.

“Yeah so, if he’s got his own private bathroom why would he need the communal one and what has this got to do with Quidditch tomorrow?” Harry looked confused and Draco rolled his eyes.

“So, I know for a fact that my godfather hasn’t been on a broom for years and that his skills are going to be pretty rusty. My plan is for you and I to run circles around him at the match tomorrow and make him somewhat sore and sorry for himself while he tries to keep up with us. It’s given out rain too so that’ll all add to the effect. When the match is over he’s going to want to relax in a nice warm hot bath, and the only rooms that have bathes are the prefects bathrooms and the teachers communal bathroom up on the third floor.” Harry looked somewhat sceptical at this plan the likelihood of it failing was considerable but Draco looked pretty confident and Harry was willing to give it a try.

“Okay, it’s dodgy but worth it, what do we have to do?” Draco nodded and took out a pencil and piece of paper and began to sketch down the plan in picture form for Harry.

It drawing close to dinnertime by the time Draco had finished explaining his plan and Harry while a little more confident that Draco had done his research still wasn’t to sure the plan was going to work. Ripping up the evidence of their plan Draco and Harry began to pack up their things having done absolutely no study what so ever. It was as Harry was picking up his bag from the floor that he felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder. Looking up Harry met Professor McGonagall’s sympathetic smile.

“The minister is waiting in the common room to begin the search Harry, we better not keep him waiting.” Harry sighed heavily and looked back at Draco who looked sympathetically at his friend. Harry nodded and drawing up what remained of his things followed the professor out of the library and towards the Gryffindor tower.

Reaching the common room Harry dumped his bag of books on one of the chairs as he stood in front of the minister who was sitting down on the chair by the window, talking with the headmaster. Snape stood by the fire his hands folded behind his back. All three wizards looked around as McGonagall cleared her throat announcing Harry’s arrival. Harry glared at the minister as McGonagall ushered what remained of the Gryffindor’s from the tower and locked the portrait hole behind her.

“Well Mr Potter? Lead the way?” The minister stood from his seat and gestured to the staircase to the right of the common room. Harry obediently began up the stairs listening to the four people following him. Reaching the door into his dorm room Harry opened the door and smiled secretly to himself as he glanced around at his friend’s beds. It seemed everyone had cleaned up the place, making it look almost immaculate. Harry silently reminded himself to thank Ron for cleaning up his stuff as well when he got down to dinner. Stepping aside from the door Harry leaned against Seamus’s bed with his arms folded across his chest, as he watched the Minster look critically over the room. Snape moved over to stand next to Harry, as Dumbledore sat himself down in the window seat beside Ron’s bed.

“That is Mr Potter’s bed there sir, and his trunk.” Mrs McGonagall pointed to Harry’s bed to which the Minister nodded in thanks. It was clear Harry’s head of house didn’t approve of this either as she went and stood by the headmaster over at the window.

“I will start with the trunk I think, Mr Potter is there anything you wish to tell me about before I begin my search?” The minister moved to kneel before Harry’s trunk at the bottom of his bed before glancing up at the boy who still had his arms folded in defence across his chest. Harry shook his head and with a casual flick of his hand unlocked the trunk and opened the lid. Over the past summer Harry had begun to get the hang of wandless magic and was now quite proficient at unlocking and locking his trunk without a wand. The minister looked mildly surprised at Harry’s use of magic but didn’t comment on it as he began to unpack Harry’s trunk item by item, scrutinizing each in detail before beginning on the next.

Most things in his trunk were meaningless at least to everyone else. Clothes, books, a few Christmas presents, some half open packets of sweets, dirty laundry, old homework parchments but it was those more personal items such as his photo album of his parents or the few burnt twigs that remained of his first broom, that made Harry shudder as the Minister touched them. There were questions too about those things and how he’d come by them but Harry gave a short clipped answer, laced with bitter sarcasm.

Finished and satisfied with his inspection of the trunk the minister replaced everything he’d taken out with a flick of his wand before standing up and moving over to Harry’s bed. Harry watched as the Minister stripped it of its covers and pulled back the curtains. He found the hidden jar of chocolate frogs and picked it up, glancing across at Harry in question.

“I have a greedy room mate.” Harry spoke sharply and the minister nodded before putting the jar back. Harry didn’t flinch as the minister picked up the corner of the mattress and pulled out the three dirty porn magazines Harry had hidden beneath there. The Minister looked like he’d just found a pot of gold as he turned to Harry his eyebrow raised in question.

“And what is this Mr Potter?” The Minister cocked his head to the side in almost disgust as he flicked through the first of the magazines.

“What does it look like it’s a dirty magazine? Haven’t you seen one before?” Harry said matter of factly as he watched the Minister hadn’t the three magazines over to Dumbledore who merely put them on his knee not bothering to look at them.

“And what are they doing at school?” The Minister asked again as he lifted the other corner of the mattress to find nothing else hidden beneath.

“Same as every book that’s at school they’re here to be read what else?” Harry looked rather pleased with himself as the Minister scowled at him from the other side of the bed.

“Is there any particular reason that you’re reading those particular types of magazine?” The minister questioned again but Harry just huffed a contemptible laugh and rolled his eyes.

“Those types of magazine? You mean queer magazines? I think that’s pretty obvious don’t you?” The minister shook his head at Harry’s reply to which end the boy rolled his eyes again and folded his arms tighter across his chest. “Well if you’re to stupid to work it out, I’ll spell it out for you. I’m a gay teenager who enjoys having a wank every so often. You can’t condemn me for it, cause every self respecting student in this school is guilty of it and I’m sure if you took the time to look you’d find a lot of magazines similar to mine hidden beneath mattresses all over the school, in fact if you look under Seamus’ over there you’ll find a whole years subscription to Whore Witch Weekly.” Harry was deadly serious and although he felt somewhat embarrassed about talking so freely about something personal to him, he felt comforted as he heard Snape suppress a snigger beside him at the outraged expression that crossed the Minister’s face at Harry’s use of language.

“You Mr Potter are a foul mouthed individual and I believe that it is against school rules to have that kind of reading material.” The Minister looked towards the headmaster but Dumbledore wasn’t listening and was consciously staring out of the window ignoring completely what was going on in the room. Harry now understood that Dumbledore approved of this search just as much as he did and was distancing himself from the situation.

“Yeah bet you never broke any rules at school, no wonder your so uptight I bet you’ve never even had sex, let along touched your dick in years.” This time Harry’s comment made Snape laugh the professors hand coming up to cover his mouth as he moved swiftly over to the window to try and prevent the minister from knowing what he was doing. Snape had to keep his composure and having Harry in such a foul mood wasn’t helping matters. The Minister looked positively red with anger and stormed around the bed and over to the bedside table the last place he hadn’t looked. Harry was feeling smug but when the Minister reached for the bottom drawer of the side table Harry instantly remembered about the small tin of weed Draco had left in there when the boy had stayed with him.

“No don’t!” Launching himself at the Minister Harry pushed him out of the way and onto the bed, instantly putting himself between the man and his set of draws. Snape and Dumbledore turned around from their gazes out of the window to look at Harry concerned. So far the Minister had found nothing incriminating but Harry knew if he found the muggle drug he’d been in a hell of a lot more trouble. With everyone looking at him in concern Harry hastily thought up a lie as an excuse why he’d pushed the man out of the way. “It’s charmed to stop people opening it, you’ll get boils all over you if you try and open it.” Harry looked at the Minister who sat up and looked sternly at the boy. Harry gingerly glanced across to look at Snape who had now moved back to Seamus’ bed having composed himself. Snape didn’t look as if he’d bought Harry’s lie but then again Dumbledore probably hadn’t either, both professors having the uncanny ability to tell with Harry was lying. Still neither of the professors said anything and Harry inwardly sighed as he looked back at the Minister who’d risen from the bed and straightened his robe.

“Well uncharm it then boy?” Harry nodded and turned around to face the drawer. Only once had he tried the spell he was about to do and he hoped that it would work. Flicking his wand as if reciting a silent charm Harry softly whispered the words to another incantation he knew along the lines of Accio. When it didn’t work the first time Harry tried again whispering the words more slowly and focusing hard on the silver box he knew was inside the bottom draw. Harry breathed a quiet sigh of relief as he felt a weight appear in his robe pocket and hoped that it was the right thing.

“There all done.” Harry stepped away from the side table quickly and moved over to stand beside Snape, as he watched the minister begin rifling through his draws. Swallowing around the nervous lump in his throat Harry dared to glance up sideways at Snape while the ministers back was turned. Snape wasn’t looking at him but Harry almost jumped out of his skin as he felt the professor’s hand sneaking into the pocket of Harry’s school robes that contained the silver box. There was little doubt Snape knew what Harry had done and while the minister was too stupid to realise Snape and Dumbledore were not. Harry felt Snape lift the little box out of his pocket before dropping it into his own and returning to fold his hands behind him as if nothing had happened. Harry swallowed again nervously as he glanced back over his shoulder at Dumbledore who looked mildly disappointed at him having seen the transaction take place between student and teacher.

“Well I think I am finished here and have found nothing untoward. I am sure the headmaster is quite capable of disciplining you Mr Potter over those.” Harry snapped his head back to face the Minister as the elder wizard pointed to the magazines still sitting in Dumbledore’s lap. “I am sure a house elf can be summoned to rectify the mess. I would thank-you for your cooperation Mr Potter but I don’t think it’s appropriate considering your lack of respect.” The Minister collected his clipboard, which he’d left hovering by the door to the room and opened it for Professor McGonagall who had moved over to the entranceway. The headmaster stood from his seat in the window and carried the magazines over to Snape and handed them to the professor.

“Punishment is at your discretion Severus.” Harry swallowed guiltily as he saw Dumbledore look at the pocket at which Snape had stashed the tin into, before staring seriously over the top of his half moon glasses at Harry. Dumbledore’s expression told far more of his anger than any words could and Harry sighed silently at nearly blowing everything. With a curt nod from Snape Dumbledore joined the minister and McGonagall on the stairs and as the three of them made their way back down the stairs to the common room Harry was relived to hear the Minister say he would take dinner in his own private rooms.

With a sigh Harry shifted over to his bed and began slowly pulling the sheets and blankets back onto it in a vain attempt at making it. Behind him he heard Snape sigh the professor tossing the three magazines onto the bed in front of Harry.

“I don’t care about the magazines Harry, but why the hell do you have Marijuana stashed in the bottom of your draws?” Snape sounded angry and Harry lowered his chin to his chest as he took the three magazines and stuffed them back under the corner of the mattress again. When Harry didn’t answer him Snape spun the boy around and pointed at him with a long bony finger. “Do you even know the consequences of being caught possessing a muggle drug Harry? You’d have had your wand snapped quicker than you could blink. They’d have stripped you of your magic and then banned your sorry arse from this world.” Harry felt tears sting his eyes as Snape screamed at him the fury in the man’s voice making Harry inwardly cringe. Never in his entire time at Hogwarts had he seen Snape so angry, not even the time when Neville had blown his cauldron up in second year potions. “Where did you get it from?” Harry shook his head at the question trying and failing to keep his tears from his eyes as Snape continued to shout at him. Harry really really didn’t want to get Draco into trouble and if that meant taking the fall for the drugs then so be it. “Harry tell me where you got it from and what you were using it for?” This time Snape took hold of Harry’s chin between his thumb and forefinger drawing Harry’s head up so that he could look directly into the boy’s eyes. Harry hated lying but he just couldn’t tell Snape.

“Occlumency.” Harry squeaked out his lip trembling in fear as Snape’s fingers on his chin tightened forcing him to reply. Harry was sure Snape’s fingers would leave bruises on his chin. “It helps clear my mind, or it did when I first started learning but I haven’t used it in ages. I just forgot about it in the draw. I’m sorry.” Harry whimpered as Snape let go of his chin and wrapped his arms around the boy’s shaking form. In a matter of moments Harry had gone from the cocky self assured young teen to the fragile youth now clutching desperately to Snape’s waist.

“It’s Draco’s isn’t it?” Harry sighed as he heard Snape’s whisper above him. With there no longer the need to lie Harry nodded silently against Snape’s chest. Snape sighed heavily and closed his eyes as he drew Harry closer to him in a warm hug. There was silence for a long time before finally Snape drew away from Harry slightly and bent down to kiss Harry on the lips. Harry eagerly kissed the professor back desperately wanting to apologise for his mistake, it didn’t help either that Harry had gone all weekend without talking to Snape which made it seem like the detention on Friday had all been a dream. Now though with the professor’s tongue in his mouth and Harry’s hands buried in Severus’ unruly black locks it all seemed real again. Parting from the kiss breathlessly Snape took hold of Harry’s hand and drew the younger wizard over to the window seat by Harry’s bed. Snape sat down on the cushion he found there and pulled Harry down to sit in his lap. Harry obediently shuffled back into the warmth of Snape’s embrace and leaned his head back onto Snape’s shoulder as both of them stare out of the window and down onto the courtyard below. Snape kissed the side of Harry’s neck softly and watched in the reflection of the window as Harry closed his eyes and smiled.

“I’ve done nothing but think about you all weekend and I tried so hard to act normal in class but every time I hear your voice its like someone’s dragged me down below the water and I can’t breathe.” Harry felt his chest tighten as Snape’s hand snuck beneath Harry’s robes to begin stroking lazy circles on the boy’s taunt stomach. Harry liked the response he’d gotten from his words and relaxed further against Snape’s body as the man behind him licked a wet trail up the side of his neck. “I came so hard thinking of you after my detention on Friday.” At this comment Harry grasped as Snape sunk his teeth into the side of Harry’s neck and sucked hard drawing the blood to the surface. Harry wondered what Snape had done but when the man pulled away and Harry glanced at his reflection in the window he saw the purple love bite welling up just bellow the collar of his robe.

“Mine.” Snape growled low in his throat and Harry gasped again as he felt a hardness press against his backside from Snape’s lap. “Who’d have thought Harry Potter had such a filthy mouth.” Snape smiled against Harry’s neck and Harry practically blushed in response as Snape removed his hand from beneath Harry’s robe and pushed the boy off his lap playfully. Harry stood up but hissed a little in pain at his trapped erection. Snape watched amused as Harry reached down and adjusted himself before draping his robes so that they hid his tented pants.

“You know Draco reckons you could make me cum just by talking to me.” Feeling a little brave Harry stepped back up to Snape who still sat casually in the window seat watching Harry. Bending so that he was eyelevel again with Snape Harry flicked out his tongue and ran it lightly across Snape’s slightly parted lips, his eyes drooping a little as he made a show of tasting the man on his tongue. Snape it seemed was unflappable and merely smiled a crooked smile at the boy who stood up and pouted at being ignored.

“We’re late for dinner Potter.” Potter. As soon as Snape reverted to ‘Potter’ Harry knew the rendezvous was over and he sighed heavily. The damp patch at the front of Harry’s trousers was cooling and making him uncomfortable but there was no time to change as Snape stood up from the window seat and strode confidently over to the entrance into the dorm. It was amazing how Snape could look completely composed when Harry knew that beneath the swirling black robes Snape was probably as hard as he was. Harry nodded and grabbed his things and walked out in front of Snape into the stairwell leading down to the Gryffindor common room. Half way down the steps Harry felt Snape’s hand on his shoulder and he stopped and turned around. Snape smiled as he did up the top button of Harry’s collared robes hiding the purple mark the man had made earlier. “That sounds like a challenge from Draco don’t you think? I would be rude not to accept it, but not yet next week maybe.” With that Snape strode off out of the staircase and across the common room floor barely pausing as he stepped out of the portrait hall and glanced back at Harry. “Oh and Harry consider both yourself and Mr Malfoy on detention with Filch until the end of this school year.”

“Fuck!” Harry swore as Snape smiled evilly at him from portrait hole the man obviously having not forgotten about the punishment for the drugs. Draco was going to kill Harry but it could have been a lot worse, especially considering there was only five weeks left until the end of the year.

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>