How to Save a Life

The remainder of November passed relatively peacefully, much to Harry’s relief. The only event that was of any note was Hufflepuff’s surprise victory over Ravenclaw at Quidditch. Harry and Draco had attended the match together, to check out the opposition they had claimed. Though Pansy rather suspected it had just been an excuse for them to squash together with hands held discreetly under the big ‘Slytherin green’ blanket that Draco had procured for the occasion.

All remained quiet on the ‘Ginny front’. She still appeared subdued from Professor McGonagall’s harsh words and her punishment. Not that she showed any signs of relenting and apologising to Pansy. Something the Slytherin girl was quite relieved about.

Ginny chose instead to just ignore people. Harry was first on the list for obvious reasons, not that he minded. He was just relieved that he didn’t have to deal with her hysterics any longer. But he was still mildly annoyed by the fact that she was acting the injured party.

If fact, Ginny seemed to be pulling away from all of her old friends. Harry noticed, with some relief that she seemed to be spending quite a bit of time with Wayne Hopkins, a Hufflepuff boy from his own year. Harry just hoped that this was a sign that she was moving on and had accepted the end of their relationship finally. They were regularly seen together outside of lessons, usually with Dennis Creevey tagging along like a faithful puppy

Ron and Hermione also came in for the silent treatment. Hermione because she had dared to report Ginny, and Ron because he hadn’t taken his sisters side, like she thought he should. Hermione only shrugged it off. She had seen a new side to Ginny and it was one she didn’t like. The Head Girl figured she would be doing the girl no favours by allowing her to get away with such behaviour.

Ron, for his part, was just confused by the whole thing. Having grown up surrounded by older brothers, he was quite oblivious when it came to female manipulation – something that Ginny excelled at. Ginny’s guilt trips went completely over his head and he just let his youngest sibling get on with it. He figured that even if no one else managed it, then their mother would knock some sense into the girl come the holidays.

Some positives had arisen from this situation. Following the Halloween dance, Hermione had been startled out of her apathy towards inter-house relations and just as Professor McGonagall had asked Harry to do, the Head Girl decided to lead by example.

Her first course of action was to integrate the prefects. For although they held group meetings, any prefect duties were shared between representatives of the same house. This had to end, Hermione decided, and she led the way by pairing herself up with Blaise. A fact that did not go down well with Ron, until Ernie McMillan discreetly pointed out that Blaise was in fact gay.

Hermione also began to make a conscious effort to speak with Slytherins, especially those from her own year. It struck her as ridiculous that these were students that she had gone side by side through school with for seven years, and yet they were relative strangers to one another still.

She even managed to cause minor uproar in the Great Hall one evening when, instead of taking her usual seat at the Gryffindor table, she followed Harry to the far side of the room and slid into a seat at the side of him. Spotting the looks of pure shock on the surrounding Slytherins, she only looked up with an innocent expression and smiled at a gaping Harry.

“What? I just wanted to see what the view was like from this side of the room.”

The broad grin that spread over Harry’s face was reward enough for her, as was the tentative smile that she received from Pansy. Blaise and Millicent chatted easily to her, being familiar with her from prefect meetings, and Pansy made the odd comment. After a polite hello, Draco had fallen silent and taken to watching suspiciously. Years spent always having an ulterior motive for every action led Draco to always look for the same in others.

By the end of the meal however, he had relaxed sufficiently and accepted that this was a Gryffindor he was dealing with, not a Slytherin, and as such realised that it was a transparent gesture with no sinister purpose. And besides, the look of outrage on Ron’s face was more than enough to put Draco in a good mood.

Hermione had already had strong words with her boyfriend regarding his attitude towards the Slytherins. He had gone very red in the face, shouted quite a lot and refused point blank to have anything to do with the plan. In the end however, Ron had fallen in with his girlfriends wishes and whilst he did not actively seek out their company, he managed to maintain a neutral civility when dealing with members of that house.

Harry was overjoyed at the reawakening of his friendship with Hermione. He knew better than most just how difficult it was to put seven years of animosity to one side and start afresh. Hermione, as a muggle-born, had suffered particularly savage comments at the hands of the very people she was now attempting to befriend. And although Ron was by no means as forward as his girlfriend in overtures towards the Slytherins, Harry knew just how great of an effort it took on his part to simply be civil to Draco. This was something Harry had barely dared to hope for as little as a few weeks ago.

Draco was even more sceptical when it came to ‘the Weasel’. The depth of bad feeling between the two boys had run much deeper than the rivalry between him and Harry. Draco knew that Ron didn’t like him and in all honesty the feeling was mutual. But if the Gryffindor was going to make the effort then he was more than willing to step up to the plate himself. Besides, anything that put that beautiful smile of Harry’s face was worth the sacrifice.

The only downside of all this for Harry was that time spent with Ron and Hermione was time he couldn’t spend being close to Draco. After spending so much time with the Slytherins, who both knew of and accepted his relationship with their housemate, it was hard to remember to censor his behaviour around his old friends. On more than one occasion Harry had gone to touch his boyfriend only to catch himself just in time.

He knew that Draco was frustrated with it, especially as the blonde was possibly the most tactile person Harry had ever met. Harry himself, hated the situation. He felt guilty about lying to his friends, but while they were still at the fragile stage of rebuilding their relationship, Harry didn’t dare risk telling them the truth.

He was pretty sure that Hermione would be okay with it. It was really Ron’s reaction that he feared. In all honesty he didn’t think that either of them would be that bothered to learn that he was gay. They would probably accept it a damn sight easier than he had. Harry knew that any problems would stem, not from his sexuality, but from the fact that he was with Draco.

Harry figured if he could just hold off on telling them the truth for just a little while longer, then he could let his friends get better used to the ‘new Draco’. Then he would stand more of a chance of still being able to call them friends afterwards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As November came to an end and the first snows of winter came to Hogwarts, talk inevitably turned to Christmas. Harry began to panic early about what to buy for Draco. After all, he thought glumly, what do you get for the boy who already has just about everything he could ever want.

At the barest mention of Christmas, Draco’s eyes would light up with an almost childlike glee. Harry was determined that his present would put a similar expression on his boyfriends face come Christmas morning. His only regret was that he would not get to see this. That and the fact he hadn’t got a clue what to get yet.

With the exception of Draco’s gift, Harry thought about the coming festive season as little as possible and would go noticeably quiet whenever the topic came up.

He hadn’t mentioned it to Ron yet, or dared inform Mrs Weasley, but Harry had decided to forgo his usual Weasley Christmas. He didn’t doubt that he would be welcome but the thought of spending two weeks in such close proximity to Ginny was more than Harry could stomach.

He still thought of the Weasleys as close to family, and the last thing he wanted was to ruin their celebrations with the air of tension that his presence would undoubtedly bring. Especially as there would already be the strain of it being their first Christmas without Fred.

It was times like this that brought home to Harry how truly alone in the world he was. The only actual family he had left were the Dursleys, and he had not seen or spoken to them since the day they had gone into hiding. He knew that they were now safely back in Privet Drive, but the idea that he would be welcomed there for the holidays was laughable.

But as much as Harry wished that it didn’t, it still hurt Harry on some level to think about how little they cared about him.

His options were limited and consisted of remaining at school or spending two weeks alone in Grimmauld Place with no one but Kreacher for company. As bleak a prospect as it was, Harry opted for the latter. He figured that he would at least be free to come and go as he pleased and there was a chance that he may still be able to see Draco. If he remained at Hogwarts, it would be two long weeks without his boyfriend and Harry wasn’t sure he could go that long without seeing the blonde.

He made up his mind to speak with Draco about it as soon as possible. Maybe he could invite him to spend New Year at Grimmauld place. The thought of the two of them being completely alone (if one didn’t count Kreacher – which Harry didn’t) was exciting and Harry couldn’t help but think that it might be the perfect opportunity to tell Draco how he felt and take the final step in their physical relationship.

Harry also thought that he could use the time to visit his Godson. Mindful of the responsibilities that came with the position, Harry was determined that Teddy Lupin would grow up knowing his Godfather, an opportunity that he had been denied himself.

Although Andromeda Tonks had taken on the task of raising the boy, Harry wanted to be a constant presence in his life. And while he would never attempt to replace Remus in his son’s affections, Harry, more than most just how important having a father figure could be when growing up. Sirius had spent two years in his life, and yet he meant as much to Harry as the parents he never got the chance to know did.

Plus, he thought regretfully, with the whole being gay thing, it would likely be as close as he would ever come to having a child of his own.

Draco was also upset at the prospect of not seeing Harry for two weeks. His initial thought had been to invite Harry to spend the holidays with him and his mother. But he knew how close Harry was to the Weasley family and didn’t want to put him in the awkward position of having to choose. Plus he also had a nagging fear that Harry would be horrified at the idea of spending his Christmas in a place he had last seen as a prisoner of Death Eaters.

What had happened during the time that Harry was held captive at Malfoy Manor was a subject they hadn’t really broached yet and Draco was reluctant to remind his boyfriend of it.

It would be difficult for him to visit Harry. It would raise too many questions and besides, Draco hardly though he would be welcomed by the Weasley’s. Not after what had happened to their eldest son as a result of his actions.

His brooding did not go unnoticed and eventually Pansy, unable to bear it any longer, cornered him one night in the common room.

Draco was sat in his usual seat, which had been drawn closer to the fire in an effort to stave off the winter chill that was permeating the dungeon walls. Pansy observed him for a few moments, watching as he stared unseeing at his unfinished Potions homework. She walked over and plopped herself down into his lap, causing books to slide to the floor.

Draco looked up at her with a scowl.

“What the fuck, Pansy?”

Pansy ignored the glare and smiled sweetly in return. “What’s up, Draco?”

“Right now there’s nothing that a well aimed unforgivable wouldn’t cure. Get off me, you’re squashing my work.”

Pansy tugged the sheet of parchment out from underneath her and smoothed it. “There. Good as new.”

Draco snatched it from her hand. “Wonderful. Now if you would just get the hell off me.”

“Nuh uh,” Pansy admonished. “Not until you tell me what’s bugging you. Other than me,” she added swiftly, predicting Draco’s reply before even before he gave it.

Draco’s mouth snapped shut again and he took refuge in sulking. Pansy only smiled wider at him and lightly flicked his bottom lip with her finger tip.

“Stop sulking.”

Draco batted her hand away but swiftly changed his expression to his patented ‘Malfoy glare’. It was completely wasted on his friend who had known him for far too long to be intimidated by a look that could reduce first years to gibbering wrecks.

“C’mon, Drakie, fess up.” She cajoled. “You’ve been brooding for days and I’m staying put till you tell me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied stubbornly.

“You can’t fool me. I know you too well. This time of year you’re usually bouncing off the walls like the Christmas fairy. But for some reason you're doing a more than passable impression of The Grinch.”

Draco sneered slightly at this. “Must you use Muggle references? It’s so plebeian.”

Pansy only shrugged in reply. “If it’s so plebeian, how come you understood it?” Without waiting for an answer, she shook her head and continued. “I’m not going to argue with you. So quit stalling and tell me what’s wrong.”

Knowing that Pansy was probably the stubbornest female he knew, outside of his mother, Draco sighed and gave in.

“Harry,” was all that he said, like that would explain everything.

Pansy frowned, “Harry?” she repeated, and Draco nodded in confirmation.

“What about Harry? Are you stressing about what to get him for Christmas? Is that it?”

Draco only rolled his eyes. “Please, Pansy. You and I both know that I am excellent when it comes to buying presents. I already have the perfect gift planned for Harry.”

“Well, what then? Have you two had an argument or something?” Frustration was colouring Pansy’s tone now.

Draco shook his head and mumbled something in reply. Catching only part of what he said, Pansy smiled.

“Sorry, what was that you said? I didn’t quite catch it.”

She received a mulish look from her friend. “I said, I can’t go two whole weeks without seeing Harry. I’ll miss him too much.”

Pansy chuckled and lightly ruffled his hair. “Well, of course you will. But who says you won’t see him over the holidays?”

“Well, seeing as how he always spends them with the Weasels and I hardly think that they are going to be inviting me over for a visit.”

“He’s staying at the Weasley’s? I wouldn’t have thought he would want to go there at the moment. Not with things how they are between him and the She-Weasel.”

Draco smiled at Pansy’s adoption of his nickname for Ginny. “He told me he always spends his holidays with them.”

“But has he actually said that’s where he’s going?” Pansy persisted.

“Well, no. But ...”

“So he might not be,” Pansy interrupted. “Why don’t you ask him to spend it at the Manor with us?”

Draco shook his head sadly. “I don’t want to make it awkward for him. Merlin knows why, but Harry considers them like family and I don’t want to put him in the position of having to choose.”

“Besides,” he continued, seeing Pansy was about to speak. “What if he said no? The last time he was at the Manor, my family were planning to hand him over to Voldemort and were torturing his best friend. Hardly fond memories that would make him want to return, are they?”

“No, I guess not,” Pansy admitted reluctantly. “But, Draco, we’ve both done and said some awful things to Harry over the years.”

“Thanks for the reminder. Your point is what exactly?”

“I just mean that even with all that history between us, he still befriended us. If he can get past all that then I’m sure he wouldn’t let a few bad memories get in the way of spending Christmas with you.”

Seeing the hopeful look dawning in her friend’s eyes, Pansy continued. “I think you’re wrong about him going to the Weasley’s. He hasn’t said anything about it. In fact, he goes really quiet when anyone mentions Christmas. I’ll just speak to him about it.”

Draco began to protest but he was waved aside. “I won’t say anything about him coming to the Manor. I’ll just get him to tell me where he’s planning to go. And if I find out that he’s not going Weaselling, then you have to ask him.”

“I guess I could,” Draco agreed uncertainly.

“You will,” Pansy said firmly. “There is no way that I am spending two weeks putting up with your sulks. Now cheer up and get into the festive spirit.”

Pansy gave the pouting boy a quick kiss on the nose and smiled as he wrinkled it up in disgust, before sliding off his knee.

“Where are you going?” Grey eyes followed her as she walked across the room.

“Library. I was supposed to meet Harry there 10 minutes ago.”

Draco spotted the mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “Pansy,” he said warningly.

“Don’t worry, Drakie. I’ll be discreet.”

Draco merely arched an eyebrow at this, indicating just how unlikely he thought that possibility was. He watched as his friend huffed at the insinuation and turned to the door.

“Oh, Pansy?” Draco called sweetly. He watched as she stopped at the door and turned back to face him.

“What?”

“If you ever call me a fairy again, you and I are going to have a confrontation.” The humour in his voice took away from the threat of Draco’s words and Pansy merely grinned at him before disappearing from view.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pansy hurried up to the Library, mindful of how late she was. Harry was already settled at one of the tables, sucking thoughtfully on the end of his quill, balled up parchment littering the desktop.

“Sorry I’m late,” she offered breathlessly, sliding into the seat opposite.

“Problems?” Harry asked in concern, taking in her flushed appearance.

“No. Just Draco having one of his mini crises”

Harry chuckled, having himself been witness to many of his boyfriend’s dramatic interludes. “What was it this time? Someone mess with the hair?”

He was rewarded with a grin from the Slytherin girl. “So what are you up to?”

Harry noticed that Pansy hadn’t answered his question, but decided to let it go. He ran his hand through his hair distractedly and, judging from the way it was sticking up all over the place, Pansy assumed it wasn’t for the first time that evening.

“I’m trying to write a letter,” he explained.

“Having a little trouble?” Pansy enquired, indicated the many discarded bits of parchment with a wave of her hand.

Harry smiled wryly, and then looked round nervously before answering.

“I’m trying to find a way to tell Mrs Weasley that I’m not going to the Burrow for Christmas this year. I don’t want to offend her or seem ungrateful, but with the way things are with Ginny ...” Harry trailed off here and gave a helpless shrug.

Pansy nodded in understanding. “So where are you going then?” she questioned, trying to keep her tone neutral.

Harry shrugged again. “I have a house in London. I figured I would go there. I’ll probably go visit my Godson at some point as well. I’ve just written to his Grandmother to see if it’s okay. Other than that, it will be just me and a very cranky house elf.” Harry tried his best to keep the self pity out of his voice but it crept in regardless. He was surprised when he looked up and found Pansy grinning at him widely.

“I’m glad the idea of me spending Christmas alone is so amusing to you.” For the life of him, Harry couldn’t help snapping.

“What? No, Harry, that’s not it at all. It’s just...I remembered I have to be somewhere.” Pansy began bundling her books together.

“What, now? You’ve only just got here.” Harry looked more than a little put out.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, but I really have to go. I’ll see you at breakfast, yes?”

Harry barely had time to nod his agreement before Pansy was gone. Shaking his head in confusion, he turned reluctantly back to the letter that he just knew would get him a howler in return.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry’s confusion only increased the next morning. Draco was acting very strange throughout breakfast. He hardly spoke and couldn’t look Harry in the eye. He didn’t seem to be angry but that didn’t stop Harry from racking his brains for some offence he might have unwittingly committed.

The confusing behaviour continued throughout their lessons. In Potions, Draco had actually knocked his cauldron over when the Gryffindor had spoken to him.

Pansy pleaded ignorance when questioned, but Harry could tell she knew more than she was letting on. At least the amused glint in her eyes comforted him that it was nothing serious. In the end he just decided to ignore his boyfriend’s skittish behaviour, figuring that Draco would tell him when he was ready.

It was almost bedtime before Draco worked up the courage to tell Harry what was on his mind. They had spent a quiet evening in the Slytherin common room, with Pansy shooting meaningful looks at the blonde constantly.

When Harry got up to head back to Gryffindor tower, Draco felt a sharp dig in his side and found Pansy glaring at him fiercely. Taking the hint, he walked to the door with Harry and they both stepped outside into the cool air of the dungeons.

Spotting the look on his boyfriends face, Harry forgot all about his resolution to let Draco tell him in his own time. Reaching out, he took the blonde’s hands in his and held them tightly.

“Draco, are you ok? You’ve been really quiet all day. Have I done something to upset you?”

Grey eyes widened in alarm at this and Harry soon found himself with an armful of Slytherin.

“No, Harry. You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m sorry if I made you think that.”

Soft kisses were trailed up the side of his neck and Harry couldn’t suppress the shiver of excitement that ran through him. He didn’t allow himself to be distracted however. He pulled back from the embrace and looked at Draco, concern written all over his face.

“Then what is it, Dray? If you tell me, maybe I can help.”

Draco began to fidget and wouldn’t meet Harry’s gaze, which served to make the Gryffindor nervous. He reached out and cupped Draco’s chin with his hand, tilting his head so that their eyes met.

“Tell me, please.” Harry pleaded.

Feeling guilty now for worrying his boyfriend, Draco realised there was nothing for it but to tell. Besides, not even a Malfoy was stupid enough to risk the wrath of Pansy Parkinson when roused.

“Pansy said that you weren’t going to the Weasel’s for Christmas,” he began, trying to look away. Harry was having none of it and kept a firm hold of Draco’s face.

“That’s true,” he said, nodding.

“Well I just wondered if you...I mean you don’t have to...I’m sure you have better things...”

“Draco,” Harry interrupted the painful babbling. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Draco nodded and swallowed deeply. Harry briefly captured his lips in a soft kiss.

“I wanted to ask you to spend the holidays with me.”

Draco let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

“At the Manor?” Harry questioned, and Draco’s heart dropped as the hand cupping his face fell away.

He nodded wordlessly and searched Harry’s face to gauge his reaction. There was nothing. Harry didn’t look happy or angry or anything really. When finally he opened his mouth to speak, Draco impulsively pressed a finger to his lips.

“Don’t give me your answer now,” he said, and Harry didn’t miss the faint quaver in his voice.

“I know there’s a lot of reasons for you to say no, and really only one reason for you to say yes. But just promise me you’ll at least think about it. I promise I won’t be angry if you say no after that.”

Harry nodded mutely and was rewarded with kiss. Just as he allowed himself to relax into it, it was over and Draco was slipping through the wall back into his common room. Shaking his head, a small smile playing about his lips, Harry headed back up to his dormitory. He had some serious thinking to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Author Note: I just want to say a really big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review. It makes the effort of writing all the more worth while. And I've had some really lovely reviews - Thanks Muchly !