Never Piss Off a House-Elf

Severus and Hermione had walked down to Hogsmead in a relative, yet companionable, silence. The school grounds were alien to Hermione, who was not used to them being empty. Severus enjoyed the pregnant solitude of the last few days of summer before the term began, the quiet hum of anticipation that settled over the school as it awaited new first years and prepared to say goodbye to the graduating seventh years. But as much as he enjoyed it, Severus would never admit it, probably not even to Hermione.


The gates recognized Severus and Hermione, swinging open with a loud creak, and clanging shut behind them. Severus tucked Hermione into the crook of his arm and let her set the pace. They walked leisurely in the general direction of the town. Hermione noticed the Whomping Willow a few yards back, within the confines of the school grounds and assumed they were walking over one of the many passages between the school and the surrounds.


Hermione's main thoughts were elsewhere, though. She knew Severus could apparate into and out of Hogwart's, a privilege left over from his tenure as Dumbledore's spy, and house-elves had their own magic which allowed them to appear and disappear anywhere, but there were so many other things to consider. Miki had said something a few days ago, when she and Hermione had been watching a movie. She couldn't remember what the elf had said exactly, but it had given her an idea.


"-mione?" Severus's voice dragged her back to reality, and she gave him a strange look.


"Did you just call me ''Mione'?" Hermione asked, awestruck at the thought of Severus using a nickname, albeit one that Hermione had never liked much.


"No. You weren't listening. I asked you a question, and your name was at the end. I don't use nicknames, and just because I let you get away with using one for me~--" Severus said, his voice a little unsure, but Hermione put her hand up and stared at him from her place in his arm.


"That's alright, Severus. I don't think I would have minded if you had used a nickname, even that one. My friends and I rarely use our full names. Ron and Harry know that if my voice is calling for Ronald or Harold, things aren't going to be good for them. And I like to use nicknames, so get used to it," Hermione said, laying her hand on his shoulder and smiling up at him. "Now, what were you asking me?"


"Would you like to eat now or do some shopping first, Hermione?" Severus asked woodenly. He was completely unused to nicknames, and wasn't sure if he could get used to the idea.


"Um, food, I think. I'm a bit shopped out, between the things for the house, and here, and the dress for the wedding. But I am hungry, if that helps," Hermione said, and they started walking again, this time making a beeline for the Three Broomsticks and Rosmerta's homebrew and wonderful food. "Shall we, Sev?"


Severus rolled his eyes, a trait he felt he might have gotten from his students.


"Have you been put her purposely to devil me?" Severus said bad-naturedly.


"Maybe. Ah, the Three Broomsticks. Shall we?" Hermione ducked out from under Severus's arm and into the open doorway. He sighed and followed her, scowling at the stares the passersby were shooting his way.


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Roz seated Severus and Hermione herself, mentioning that she and Sirius had come back to Hogsmead not long after Severus and Hermione had left. Sirius was still unsure as to what he'd do with his life, still surprised to be back among the living instead of stuck in the veil, not dead but not quite alive.


"I think Albus has something planned, but I'm not sure. I hope he does, though, because Sirius is not suited to sitting around doing nothing or managing the tavern," Roz said while Hermione and Severus decided on their meals. "We all know what happened last time he was expected to rest on his laurels for an undetermined amount of time."


Hermione and Severus nodded their assent. Roz's voice had a bit of an edge in it, and Hermione and Severus knew it was directed at Severus. The greater good is a poor substitute when it appears that your love is dead or lost forever.


"But that's in the past, and I've almost moved past it. Sirius will, too, if only because he loves Hermione like his own daughter," Roz said, and her voice lost its edge. "No need to be jealous, either Severus. Now, what can I get the two of you lovebirds?"


Hermione exhaled heavily. "Can I just get a steak, rare, with some mashers, and a butterbeer?"


"Right. Severus?"


"Same, but firewhiskey, Roz," Severus said, eyes scanning the room. Sirius was behind the bar, getting drafts for patrons at the bar, but staring at Severus and Hermione. "And tell Black to come and say what he wants to say or stop staring. It doesn't become him. Not much does, though, when you're no better than a dog."


Roz stiffened and nodded, leaving Hermione and Severus.


"You should have left well enough alone, Severus. Sirius would have gotten bored or come and said something in his own time. You shouldn't push him," Hermione scolded.


"I am the only person who ever pushed Black. Albus let him and his friends have almost free reign while we were at school. Black got away with many things. Its time he grew up and faced some of his sins," Severus seethed, pictures of all his embarrassments caused by the Marauders.


"Shouldn't you grow up, too, then?" Hermione said gently. "I'm not asking you to ask him for an apology, or saying you have to apologize to anyone. But you shouldn't expect from Sirius what you won't ~-- or can't ~-- do yourself."


"As usual, you're right. Does that please you?"


"Don't be so waspish with me, Sev. We're having a nice dinner, remember? Ah, here comes our food now. What else would you like to discuss tonight?" Hermione said, deftly changing the subject.


"You said you had an idea for another project. I would like to hear more about that, considering you were so bent on helping with mine."


"Well, it started when Miki and I were watching this ninja movie. . . "


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Over the next hour, Severus listened to and watched Hermione as she explained her theory about non-spell based apparation, as she was calling it.


"Ever since Ron and I got our apparation licenses and I saw how many experienced witches and wizards still splinch themselves I wondered if there was a better way. I've started looking into how to make portkeys in an effort to make them a more accessible mode of transportation. So far, it hasn't been very fruitful, especially considering that I can't really make a true portkey without permission and a grant from the Ministry.


I thought about super-speed charms that could be attached to brooms to make them faster and make travel easier. The problem with that is the fact that I'm not the only person who gets sick from broom travel or can't particularly handle the broom. Also, brooms aren't really made to withstand such high speeds.


"It all came together, though, when Miki and I were watching that movie. It was a ninja movie, as I mentioned, and they have certain arts not unlike magic. What caught my eye was a smoke powder they use to cover themselves while they escape. And I was thinking on it, because the movie was quite good and the star was quite handsome, but also because the idea is intriguing.


"House-elves have magic that allows them to appear and disappear wherever they need or want to, even in places like Hogwart's. What if there was a way to bottle something like that, a liquid or powdered apparation? Not something like the elf magic, because that would be too dangerous to even contemplate, but more like regular apparation?"


"I'm stunned," Severus said, his mind racing with the implications of what Hermione was thinking. "This is not what I'd expected, even from you."


"What? Did you think that I was planning some miracle pimple potion? Severus, I want to be a force in the magical world, not just the potions world. And this will get me there," Hermione said, crossing her arms over her chest. "But I'm having trouble finding a base. I have a few ideas for combinations to try, but together they would either dry up a liquid base into an unusable powder or turn a powder base into a thick sludge. This has to be easy to use ~-- the safety of the underaged or ill-skilled is at risk."


"I have a few books that may be of use to you," Severus said, pushing himself back from the table. "Once you have a few more ideas and have studied and experimented, I will have a few ideas for you. For now, I would rather not sully the waters of your ideas with my own as yet uneducated ones."


"Experimented?" Hermione's eyes lit up. "That means I have to have access to a lab."


"Yes, your former potions classroom will serve for now," Severus said, not liking the glint in Hermione's eyes.


"No, it won't. This is going to take a long time, Severus, and I may not be able to disturb things once they're mixed. I have to have access to a lab that I can leave my experiments in. There is only one set of labs that I could access without fear of someone cleaning my experiments up. You know where those labs are, Severus."


He groaned. She was right, and he was more than a little annoyed at the fact; not only was she right, but he hadn't really planned on giving up so much space quite yet. His family home was one thing ~-- there was plenty of room to use there. His quarters and labs at Hogwart's were his last bastion. But one last look into Hermione's eyes told him it was lost.


"Fine, Hermione. You will be sharing my labs with me. I will help you as best I can, but I worry that our work may interfere with one another."


Hermione jumped out of her chair, raced around the table and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him soundly. He kissed her back with heat, cupping her bum in his hands and lifting her into his lap. She pulled back, smiling, before she kissed him again, snuggling into him with a contented sigh.


A loud sigh came from behind them, catching Hermione and Severus's attention. It was Sirius.


"Merlin, I could at least be angry if she still hated you. But now I'll just be a wanker if I keep belly-aching," Sirius sighed in disgust, throwing his towel down on the bar. "I'll see you when the term starts. I have to talk with Albus."


Hermione and Severus watched Sirius go upstairs to where Roz had set up her home, completely and utterly surprised by this latest change of heart.


"I guess they will be attending our wedding, then."