A Secret Worth Keeping

A new chapter. Hope the wait wasn’t TOO long this time.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, only those that I created myself. Please do not harm me in any way. I only do this for fun.

A personal thank you to my Beta reader, LadyDeathFaerie. Thanks LDF!


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A Secret worth Keeping


Chapter Thirty-five: Two decisions made


A pair of eyes watched the young couple enter the foyer of the castle. The rain tried to follow them inside but a clanging of the door swinging shut stopped it in its path. The echo of the storm reverberated throughout the chamber as Pansy and Ron paused at the bottom of the stairs. The curious eyes on the stairs widened as she saw Ron reach out and capture a lock of Pansy’s hair. The touch was intimate yet innocent. She couldn’t hear their words but she saw Pansy nod. Ron smiled warmly and turned on his heels, probably heading back to Gryffindor tower.

The eyes followed Pansy until she disappeared from view.

\"Interesting.\" The owner of the eyes turned away and headed down stairs.

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\"Hermione?\" Severus called out as a door opened and several thunks were echoed down the hall.

\"Yeah. It’s me.\" Hermione called back and deposited her book bag onto a chair. \"Where are you?\"

\"I’m in the nursery.\" He called back. Within minutes, Hermione strode into the brightly decorated room. A smile formed on her face as she saw Severus rocking their son, a bottle of milk in his hand. His face held a kind of contentment that only came from a father cradling his own child. She walked forward and leaned down to kiss him softly.

\"Have a busy day?\" She asked, moving her lips from her love to their son. Sebastian fussed slightly at her kiss but almost immediately fell back into contentment as he sucked at the nipple of the bottle Severus held for him.

\"Not as busy as I would have been if the storm had held off. I was planning on venturing into the forest for more ingredients, but I didn’t feel like drowning today.\"

\"It is coming down pretty hard out there.\" She agreed as she stripped off her outer robe. The dampness from outside didn’t make it inside and the fire in the hearth had the room nice and toasty. She hung her robe up next to his teaching cloak. It was nice to end the day in such a nice way. She didn’t mind the classes, the schoolwork or even her classmates. She did, however, mind the time away from her child and Severus.

\"Have you been home long?\" She asked, sitting down on the window seat. The rain was slamming into the windowpane behind her.

\"Not long, I just got here in time to see Sebastian wake up crying for his dinner.\"

Hermione sighed and nodded. \"I was held up in the library. Winnie Winston needed some tutoring in Arithmancy. I would have been here otherwise.\"

\"It’s no problem Hermione. You have plenty of reserve breast milk in stasis. I find it very pleasant to feed him.\" Severus’s loving gaze fell to the child in his arms. Sebastian was already nearly asleep once more. To Hermione, it seemed he did nothing but sleep.

\"Do you think he’s all right?\"

\"Why?\"

\"I don’t know, he just seems to sleep an awful lot.\"

\"That’s what babies do, Love. They eat, shit and sleep.\"

Hermione’s laughter sounded loud in the cozy room but was halted as a sound of scratching reached them. She hurriedly rushed to the illusioned window and saw a drenched owl hovering just beyond. Quickly she opened the sash and the owl tumbled inside along with a gust of wind and rain. She slammed the window closed, not even stopping to ponder how the owl found the magicked window. To her knowledge, owls couldn’t find magicked windows, could they?

Severus watched the owl tumble to the carpeted floor with a grim look. With a flick of the bird’s wing and a jerk of its talon, the owl flipped itself over and ruffled its feathers, both to rid himself of the water in his feathers and indignation.

\"Poor thing.\" Hermione started forward to take up the owl but was stopped by Severus warning hand.

\"Stop, love. Do not touch him. He is one of the Malfoy’s personal owls. Mordichai is not a very friendly beast.\"

Hermione stopped in her tracks and merely nodded, accepting what he said at face value. She sat herself once more on the window seat, keeping her distance from the strange owl.

Severus stood to his feet and gently passed Sebastian over to his mother as he approached the disgruntled bird. Cautiously, he showed the bird his empty hand. The owl eyed him warily but dutifully lifted his leg to the receiver of the letter. Severus quickly removed the paper. With deft fingers, he broke the seal and sighed heavily as he read it over.

\"It’s another blasted invitation from Lucius and Narcissa.\"

\"What do they want this time? Hermione asked, coming to stand next to him to see the letter for herself. She had the baby pressed against her shoulder as she patted his tiny back, trying to coerce a burp before laying him down. She scanned the letter that he held up for her.

\"I have no idea.\" He replied, letting his eyes move over that of his son and future wife. \"It seems that I will just have to go and find out.\"

\"When are you supposed to go again?\" She shifter Sebastian and reached for the letter to read over more closely.

\"Saturday night.\"

Hermione frowned at that. \"Are we to never have a weekend alone?\"

Severus reached out, folded his arms around both of them, and kissed her forehead.

\"We will have plenty of time in the future, my love. Once all of this is over, once the Dark Lord is vanquished… then we can really start to live our lives as a real family.\"

\"I hope that is soon. I hate living a lie like this.\"

\"I know, love. I know. But it can’t last forever. Soon, things will go our way. I feel the tide beginning to turn in this war.\"

\"Do you?\" She leaned into his arms, snuggling with Sebastian and him.

\"Yes, we have more on our side now with the DaRats. There is most definitely a leverage on our part now. We have youth and youthful eagerness, they have age and false pride. Youth is far more energetic than age…and eagerness shall fell pride. We will win this war, my love. Do not fret on that.\"

She smiled up at him and shifted Sebastian so she could beckon him with a finger. He dutifully leaned down to receive his kiss.

\"I love you, Severus.\"

\"As I love you, Hermione.\"

A voice complained, \"Oh gross…put a sock in it you two.\"

Both Hermione and Severus swirled around in surprise A wand, suddenly pulled from Severus’ inner sleeve, pointed dangerously at the intruder. He nearly growled at the man standing here.

\"Ronald Weasley…don’t you EVER knock?\" Hermione’s voice rose slightly in her own anger.

Ron grinned wide and threw his hands up before him as if to thwart her anger. \"Whoa…hold on a sec. I did knock. Since the door was open, I didn’t think it would be a sin to come on in.

Hermione frowned, reaching out to gently lower Severus’ wand. \"I forgot to lock the door.\"

\"You need to be more careful on that Hermione,\" Severus dutifully chastised her as he re-pocketed his wand. \"Weasley could have been anyone. It could have been detrimental if any one other than he or Potter caught us in such an embrace.

\"Sorry.\" She muttered softly, feeling a bit like an idiot. Next time she wouldn’t be so careless. It was stupid not to immediately ward the door at least to warn them that someone entered. \"It won’t happen again.\"

\"No harm done, ‘Mione.\" Ron grinned again. His eyes roamed over the baby then to Severus before settling back to her. His hand came up to sweep through his slightly damp hair. Not to be tamed, it tumbled back down into his eyes.

Hermione often pondered the styles of all of the Weasley boys in their preferences towards their hair. What was it with long hair anyway? Or, come to think of it, with most wizards? Even Severus kept his hair long. It amazed her that Harry didn’t, but preferred to keep his unruly hair short and semi controlled. Hermione watched as Ron ran another hand through his hair and shook her head in amusement. Why doesn’t he just get a haircut, for Pete’s sake? It would have been much simpler and he wouldn’t have to keep shaking his head like a wet dog to get it out of his eyes.

\"I was wondering if I can talk to you.\" Ron’s voice brought her out of her thoughts and she frowned at her lack of attention. She shook his unruly hair from her mind and brought her attention back to him, not his hair. She could detect an amused laughter behind his eyes and she narrowed her own. Perhaps she could bring him down a peg or two.

\"Is it about what I saw earlier out on the stairs?\" Hermione couldn’t stop her own smile as Ron’s amusement fled his face and he frowned instead.

\"Depends…what did you see?\"

\"You and Pansy…in the hall…all cozy like.\"

\"Not cozy, just…Oh hell, Hermione…can I talk to you or not?\"

\"Sure.\" She stopped her teasing, seeing the red flush of anger in his face. She turned and handed Sebastian back to his father. \"Severus? Do you mind?\"

The Potions Master merely nodded, took his now sleeping son in his arms and headed back to the rocker. Hermione took Ron’s arm and led him back into the sitting room. She placed another log on the fire and indicated for her friend to take a seat.

\"TEA!\" She called out and immediately a silver tray appeared with the required tea and cookies. Sometimes it was nice to live with a head of a house. Things are done so much more efficiently. Severus made sure of it. She poured two cups, handed one over to Ron and leaned back into her chair.

\"Okay Ron, spill it. What is between the two of you?\"

\"Nothing…yet…we just talk and stuff. Hermione…\" Ron ran another nervous hand through his already ruffled red hair and sighed deeply. \"I need your help with something. I want you to talk to her more, about not taking this abortant she’s been talking about.\"

\"Ron…\" Hermione started to protest her interfering.

\"Wait. Hear me out.\" Ron placed his untouched tea onto a side table and raised a hand to stop her. \"Pansy and I talked. She promised me to not abort the baby until we talk again. I know… I know…\" he stood to his feet and began to pace the floor. \"It’s completely stupid to feel this way about a baby that isn’t even mine. But… I can’t help it. It’s not mine, but I feel responsible for it somehow. I know that is ridiculous as I have never slept with Pansy, but…I do. I feel responsible.\"

\"What are you thinking, Ronald?\" Hermione leaned forward, watching her friend pacing like a caged lion. A cooped-up-for-to-long-and-ready-to-spring caged lion.

\"I’m thinking… Oh hell, Hermione…I don’t know what I’m thinking. I just know that I don’t want her to lose the baby.\"

\"You mean…YOU don’t want to lose the opportunity to act as a father.\"

Ron stopped in mid stride and turned back to her, his eyes wide. \"I’m not…I mean I don’t think…\"

Hermione rose to her feet and approached her friend. Her arm draped around his shoulder, which was hard to do with his height. \"Ron. I know you. I know your heart. You want what I have, what Harry seems to have, and what Severus has. You want a family of your own.\"

\"I’m not jealous.\" He started to defend himself.

\"I’m not talking about jealousy, Ron… I’m talking about want. You grew up in such a large family that I bet that you never truly felt needed. You were one of many middle children. Not the oldest, not the youngest…most certainly not the most mischievous. You want to really belong. You want your own family.\"

\"My family loves me.\" His mouth pouted slightly.

\"I’m not talking about love Ron, I’m talking about needing to belong. Perhaps you are pushing this need onto Pansy too hard. You keep it up and you will only push her farther and farther away. A girl like Pansy will not be coerced. You need to approach her more carefully. Demanding something of her will not help either way.

Ron sighed and plopped down into a chair, his soft blue eyes gazing up into hers. \"I don’t know, Hermione. Perhaps you are right, but is it so wrong? Is it wrong to want what you have? To have my own family?\"

\"But her baby isn’t yours Ron.\"

\"I know that.\" He barked out angrily. Hermione sighed but pushed on.

\"Are you willing to help bring the child into the world and will you be there for her if she decides to keep it?\"

Ron closed his eyes in thought. Thinking about what could and would happen to Pansy and her child if she did decide to keep it, and what would happen to them both if he decided that his feelings for them had changed.

\"Ron,\" Hermione persisted. \"If Pansy decides to keep the baby because of you will, you be there for her?\"

Ron allowed an image of Pansy standing at the cliff side with the wind blowing her blond hair about her face. Behind her, he saw himself standing proudly with his arm over her shoulder, peering down at the baby in her arms. The sheltered patio umbrella setting in the back ground. It was a nice picture. Ron then turned determined eyes to her.

\"Yes.\"

\"Are you willing to help bring up another man’s baby? No matter how the child was conceived? No matter who the baby’s father is?\"

\"Its Draco’s.\" Ron frowned.

\"No, Ron. It’s not Draco’s. I’m not at liberty to say anything about what she told me, but no, it’s not Draco’s.\"

Ron frowned in disbelief but let it go.

\"Ron, If you decide on this, to be a part of their lives, you have to learn to let sleeping dogs lie. I do not suggest you ask who the baby’s father is. It is a very… sore… subject with her. All I will say is that she didn’t have a choice in the matter.\"

Ron’s eye opened wider at that. \"You mean she was…\"

\"No, Ron… I will not reply to that. I said it is not up to me to say. I suggest you talk more with Pansy.\"

Ron frowned, his eyes glued to the floor in thought. His fingers worried at the fabric of his slightly damp robe. Finally he rose to his feet and kissed Hermione on the cheek.

\"Thanks, ‘Mione. I think I know what to do now.\" Ron flashed her a grin and headed out.

Hermione shook her head at his back before returning to the nursery. Severus sat motionless in the rocker, both man and child sleeping. She tiptoed over to stare down at the men of her life. Her heart lifted in her chest as she gently ran a hand over his clean shaven face.

\"Severus? Love… wake up. It’s nearly time to go to bed.\"

Snape’s eyes fluttered open and sleepily locked onto her. His lips formed a slow, sexy smile. \"As you wish.\"

He rose stealthily, making sure not to jostle Sebastian too much. Carefully he placed the sleeping baby into his crib, tucking the blanket up over his tiny shoulders. He peered down at his son before leaning over to kiss his downy head.

\"Good night, little man…Sleep tight.\"

Hermione leaned over to do the same. \"Good night, precious.\"

Severus took her hand in his and turned her to face him, pulling her into his warm body. His voice low and seductive as he queried. \"Will you sleep in my room or your room tonight?\"

Hermione worried her bottom lip in thought. He had been so patient with her thus far, so loving and understanding. His patience was nearing legendary status. Trying to keep her happy mustn’t have been too easy for him. She knew that he wanted her, but was still worried about hurting her physically. She was a bit worried about it, too. After all her first and last time was the most horrible time in her life… but now…

She glanced up to capture Severus’ gaze. His face held such an expression filled with hopeful longing. One so fierce that she immediately thought of Ron and his own deep hope. Both men had that same look.

Want.

She made a decision.

\"Your room.\"


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A/N’s and acknowledgements:

June W: Hope this was fast enough for you.

Lu Ling Qi: Thanks!

Ladyevilfaerie: Sorry for the length of time it took to get that last chapter out. I hope you didn’t have to wait too long this time.

BrianDarksoul: LOL…Ron…Nobel…yeppers, that’s MY version Ronald! I think! heheh

Vblum12: Hum..that seems to be the consensus so far.

Arial: Hope this chapter was fast enough in coming.

Destiny black: I’m sure my muse would enjoy the company…send yours on over. :D

StarwolfRealms: I’m glad you chose to give my story a chance. It makes my day when a non-SS/HG reader takes a liking to it. I hope it continues to keep you attention. Blessed be! Oh…Rhiannon? Saraid?? Tell me more!

Ldf: My ever eternal gratefulness to you. If it wasn’t for you this story would SUCK! LOL.